Dam Parenting

What happens when your premature baby finally comes home from the NICU, but the fear, exhaustion and uncertainty don't go away?
For World Prematurity Day, DAM Parenting brings together birth and postpartum doula and NICU peer parent Toni Muller, and paediatric physiotherapist and infant mental health specialist Inge Oldeman, to talk about the experience of having a premature baby and what happens to parents during and after a neonatal intensive care stay.
A baby may be discharged from hospital, but the parents are still processing what happened.
We talk about navigating neonatal care in the Netherlands, understanding medical conversations when Dutch isn't your first language, the transition home without monitors and nurses, and why parental wellbeing deserves attention too.
We also explore how to recognise your baby's signals, find support and help parents feel less alone. And what can friends, family, colleagues and employers actually do to support a family after NICU?
In this episode:
Having a premature baby and navigating the NICU experience

What international parents may find challenging about neonatal care in the Netherlands

The transition home after neonatal intensive care

Parental wellbeing after a premature birth

Understanding your baby's signals and individual development

Peer support and finding your people

What to say (and what not to say) to parents after NICU

How friends, family, colleagues and employers can make a difference

A conversation for: Parents currently experiencing a NICU journey, families who have been through premature birth, expectant parents, healthcare professionals and anyone supporting a family with a premature baby.
Toni Muller – Birth and postpartum doula, NICU-informed doula and peer parent connected with Care4Neo.
Website: https://tonimuller.com
Inge Oldeman – Paediatric physiotherapist and infant mental health specialist, bringing both professional knowledge and personal experience as a parent of a premature baby.
Website: https://ingeoldeman.com
Care4Neo – Information, support and connection for families affected by neonatal care: https://www.care4neo.nl/

DAM Parenting – Parenting information and professional conversations for international families in the Netherlands: https://damparenting.nl/listen
Toni's earlier birth and NICU story on DAM Parenting: May 2024

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You are seen. You are not alone.

This episode is for information and support and is not a substitute for individual medical advice.

Becoming a parent can bring parts of your own childhood back to the surface. Sometimes it's a reaction you don't understand. Sometimes it's the anger that comes out over something small. Sometimes it's the silence, the withdrawal, or the guilt afterwards.
You promised yourself you'd parent differently. So why do familiar patterns sometimes show up when you're raising your own children?
In this episode of DAM Parenting, Eva is joined by trauma therapist Adina Petre to explore how becoming a parent can reconnect us with our own childhood experiences, and how those experiences can shape the way we respond to our children.
We talk about inherited parenting patterns, childhood trauma, emotional triggers, anger, and why telling yourself to simply be more patient isn't always the answer.
For international parents raising children in the Netherlands, there's another layer: navigating Dutch parenting norms while carrying expectations from the country and family you grew up in. What happens when your family back home questions your parenting? How do you decide what to carry forward, what to leave behind, and what you want to create together with your partner?
We also explore:
​Why your child's behaviour can trigger reactions that feel bigger than the situation.
​Why some parents shout, while others shut down or withdraw.
​The difference between breaking a cycle and simply doing the opposite of your parents.
​Why repairing a relationship matters more than being a perfect parent.
​The grief of realising you didn't receive the same care you're now trying to give your child.
​Navigating grandparents, family expectations and holiday visits.
And perhaps the most reassuring reminder of all: a difficult parenting moment doesn't have to define your relationship with your child. What happens afterwards matters.
A thoughtful conversation for international and expat parents raising children in the Netherlands, especially as family visits and the festive season bring different expectations, emotions and old family dynamics into the mix.

Guest: Adina, trauma therapist.
Sign up to Adina’s boundaries event on Saturday 21st November

You are seen. You are not alone.

Listen to DAM Parenting: https://damparenting.nl/listen

New to Sinterklaas in the Netherlands? Or is your young child just old enough to start discovering the magic?
For international parents, Sinterklaas can raise a LOT of questions: Why does he arrive from Spain by boat? Who is the white horse? Why are children putting shoes out with carrots? What is the Sinterklaasjournaal? And why does everyone suddenly seem to be eating kruidnoten?
In this episode of DAM Parenting, Eva explores Sinterklaas in the Netherlands — not just the traditions, but the magic behind them. From the November arrival and the Sinterklaasjournaal to putting out shoes, pakjesavond on 5 December, presents, songs and chocolate letters, we look at what makes this Dutch tradition so exciting for children.
There's also the history behind Sinterklaas, the connection to the Santa Claus many international parents grew up with, and the question of how to bring Sinterklaas into an international family alongside your own Christmas traditions.
If you're raising children in the Netherlands and Sinterklaas is new to you, you don't need to know every rule or recreate someone else's childhood. You can simply join in, create your own traditions and let your child discover the magic.
In this episode:
What Sinterklaas is and where the tradition comes from

The Sinterklaas arrival in the Netherlands

Sinterklaasjournaal and why children take it so seriously

Putting out shoes, carrots, kruidnoten and small presents

Pakjesavond and the 5 December tradition

Sinterklaas and Christmas in international families

How to create your own family traditions in the Netherlands

Perfect for international, expat and immigrant parents raising young children in the Netherlands — especially if this is your family's first Sinterklaas season.
You are seen. You are not alone.

You and your partner might love each other, share a home and be raising children together — but when it comes to sex, you could be working from two completely different rulebooks.
Why? Because what we learn about sex starts long before our first relationship. Family, culture, religion, school and all the things nobody talks about can shape how we think about desire, pleasure, intimacy and what we're supposed to expect from each other.
In this November episode of DAMSex, Eva sits down with Debby Poort from Yellow Wood, a sex and intimacy counsellor working with international couples in the Netherlands, to explore how those unspoken lessons follow us into adult relationships.
What happens when two different sexual rulebooks meet?
We explore the messages we grow up with about sex, the assumptions we carry into relationships, and what happens when partners finally compare notes. Because sometimes, what feels like a relationship problem is actually two people who were taught very different things about what sex should be.
And does the Netherlands actually get sex education right?
The Netherlands has a reputation for being open and progressive about sex. But what does that really mean when it comes to what children learn, what adults understand, and how prepared we are for real-life intimacy?
Whether you're in an international relationship, navigating different cultural expectations, or simply curious about how your upbringing shaped your sex life, this conversation is an invitation to get curious rather than judgemental — about yourself, your partner and the things neither of you may have realised you learned.
Because you can't compare notes if you don't know there were different rulebooks in the first place.
ABOUT DEBBY POORT
Debby Poort is a sex and intimacy counsellor at Yellow Wood, an integrative psychotherapy practice supporting expats in the Netherlands, based in Amstelveen and offering online sessions.
Find Debby and learn more about her work:
https://www.yellowwood.nl/
Explore her sex and intimacy counselling resources:
https://www.sexandintimacycounseling.nl/podcast

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MAMASOCIAL
MamaSocial creates welcoming opportunities for mums to meet, connect and build friendships across the Netherlands. And while some conversations are easier to have in person, others can start right here, privately, while you listen.
Find a MamaSocial meetup near you:
https://www.mamasocialofficial.com/

KEEP EXPLORING DAM PARENTING
Browse episodes by topic and find the conversations most relevant to your family:
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Find DAM Parenting on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and more: https://pod.link/1714151581
Have a question you'd like us to explore in a future DAMSex episode? Email Eva at ask@damparenting.nl
DAMSex is part of DAM Parenting, the English-language podcast for international parents navigating family life in the Netherlands.
Follow the show for more honest conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships and the realities of raising a family far from home.

Your child has a cough for three weeks already. You're in the Netherlands. The Dutch huisarts has told you this is completely normal and will last six to eight weeks. You've been to the Etos and Kruidvat and you have no idea what to buy. You've stood in front of a wall of bottles with names you don't recognise, from brands you've never heard of, for types of cough that — according to a Dutch ENT doctor — aren't really different types of cough at all.
In this episode of DAM Parenting's translating Dutch consumer investigations for our international parents — Eva breaks down what Keuringsdienst van Waarde found when they put cough syrup in a lab. The answer will surprise you. And save you money.
This episode covers: what cough syrup is actually made of, the expat experience of navigating an unfamiliar pharmacy, what the RIVM says to expect this autumn/winter, how often kids actually get sick (the numbers are genuinely wild), the science of why parental presence and rest matter more than any syrup, and what old wives' remedies are backed by evidence.
Plus: how to survive the six-to-eight-week cough as a parent without losing your mind — and why going to bed at 8pm is actually a completely reasonable strategy.
Sources: Keuringsdienst van Waarde Season 26 (Jan 2026), KNO-arts Emilie Dronkers, KNMP, RIVM 2026 respiratory season data.
Find the full archive at damparenting.nl