Dam Parenting

What actually happens after a relationship ends — when you have children together, you're living in the Netherlands, and your village is far away?
Niko, a German dad, joins us this week to talk honestly about something most men never say out loud: the grief, the guilt, the fear of what separation would do to his kids — and how he came out the other side.
They talk about growing apart after years together, the question he had to ask himself when staying felt like slowly disappearing, why he believes ending a marriage and ending a family are not the same thing, and how he and his ex built a coparenting relationship they're both proud of.
This is not a conversation about divorce being easy. It's a conversation about what's possible when two parents put their children first — and take care of themselves in the process.
For any dad who is struggling and hasn't told anyone yet: this one's for you.

RESOURCES — Nationwide Netherlands
For children:
KIES (Kinderen In Een Scheiding Situaties) — free municipality-funded support groups for children aged 4–18. Available across the Netherlands. Self-refer or via your child's school. Find your local KIES via: kiesvoorhetkind.nl or kiesamsterdam.nl (Amsterdam-specific)
Villa Pinedo — online support platform for children and young people with divorced parents. Available in English. Buddy app, forum, and parent resources: villapinedo.nl/english
For parents:
Mediation in the Netherlands — if you need support building a parenting plan, a registered mediator can help. Search via the Dutch Mediation Federation: mfnregister.nl
Your gemeente — ask your local jeugdregisseur (youth coordinator) what coparenting support is available in your area. Every municipality is different.

If you became a father and suddenly felt like you couldn't keep up — with the admin, the overwhelm, the switching, the forgetting — this episode is for you.
Liam, founder of Dads Do Art and familiar Dam Parenting voice, joins Eva to talk about his late ADD diagnosis. What fatherhood revealed that decades of coping had hidden. How he navigated the Dutch healthcare system — the huisarts, the waiting lists, the private vs public route. Why he initially thought he'd fooled the professionals. What medication actually changed, and what it didn't. And the moment his mum arrived at the diagnostic session with every school report from age seven, and everything finally made sense.
This episode covers: adult ADHD and ADD diagnosis in the Netherlands, neurodiversity and fatherhood, burnout and undiagnosed attention difficulties, ADHD medication, ADHD therapy, and the very first step to take if you think this might be you.
For international parents in the Netherlands. Every Wednesday.

The Dutch housing market is fast, opaque, and genuinely unforgiving if you don't know the rules — and most of us didn't get the rulebook.
In this episode, Eva is joined by Nic, co-founder of Buy Home Helper, who built a platform specifically for internationals navigating the Dutch home buying process after his own experience of lost bids, hidden costs, surprise neighbours, and a final invoice that came out of nowhere.
We get into what the market actually looks like right now, why more internationals are being pushed into buying whether they're ready or not, and how Buy Home Helper guides you from first search to signed keys — with the tips, warnings, and stage-gate reminders your makelaar probably isn't sharing.
If you're logging into Funda morning and night, building spreadsheets, and wondering if there's an insider club you somehow missed — this one's for you.
Exclusive offer for the Dam Parenting community: Use code DAMPARENTING at buyhomehelper.com — the first 10 listeners get a full year free.

Confused about vaccinations in the Netherlands? You're not alone — it's one of the most asked questions in every expat parenting group. This week I'm joined by Youth Healthcare physician Dr. Marenne van Hengel Budde for a complete, plain-English guide to the Dutch vaccination system — from pregnancy through to age 14, and everything in between.
We cover the full Dutch National Immunisation Programme (RVP), why chickenpox isn't on the Dutch schedule, the BCG tuberculosis vaccination that surprises many international families, meningitis B, travel vaccinations, and how to check your child's vaccination record online in minutes.

IN THIS EPISODE:
The Dutch National Immunisation Programme — who runs it, how it works, and why your GP is probably not involved
Every vaccine on the schedule — from the whooping cough vaccine in pregnancy to the HPV vaccine at age 9, including the new RSV antibody (September 2025) and rotavirus vaccine (added 2024)
Chickenpox — why it's not in the Dutch programme, what to do if you want it privately, and why age 12 matters
BCG tuberculosis vaccine — who receives it, how the automatic invitation works, and what to expect from the skin reaction
Meningitis B — why it's not included in the Dutch programme and how to access it privately (and what it costs)
Travel vaccinations with babies and young children — where to go and how far in advance to plan
How to check your child's full vaccination record online at mijn.rivm.nl — in under 2 minutes
Missed a vaccination window? Here's what actually happens (it's probably not as bad as you think)
Arriving from abroad with an existing vaccination schedule — do you have to start again? No. Here's how it works.
ALL LINKS AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Dutch National Vaccination Programme (English): https://www.rivm.nl/en/dutch-vaccination-programme
🔗 Check your child's vaccination record online: https://mijn.rivm.nl
🔗 JGZ parental portal (online environment of the Youth Healthcare Centre): https://www.mijnkindgegevens.nl
🔗 DigiD (needed to log in to mijn.rivm.nl): https://www.digid.nl
🔗 KNCV TB Foundation — high-risk TB country list: https://www.kncvtbc.org
🔗 GGD — find your local office for BCG and travel vaccinations: https://www.ggdghor.nl
🔗 LCR Travel Vaccination Advice (enter destination country for required vaccines): https://www.lcr.nl
🔗 Private vaccination centres in the Netherlands (incl. chickenpox / varicella): https://www.vaccinatiecentrum.nl
🔗 RIVM contact (to request vaccination record by email or post): https://www.rivm.nl/en/contact

‘We used to be so passionate. Now we’re housemates who just happen to share a bed. I’m scared we’ve lost something we can’t get back.’
IIn this episode, sex and intimacy counsellor Debby Poort answers it.
This month on DAM SEX, Eva and Debby go into Emotionally Focused Therapy — the attachment-based model that reframes ‘we have a sex problem’ as ‘we have a connection problem.’ They talk about the pursue–withdraw cycle, what it looks like in real couples, and why both people in the cycle are doing the exact same thing: trying to get their needs met.
Plus: the A.R.E. framework (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged), what emotional safety actually feels like in the body, and why couples wait an average of seven years before getting help.
The cycle is the problem. Not the couple.

Debby Poort — Sex & Intimacy Counsellor
Yellowwood | Amsterdam & Amstelveen
Website: www.yellowwood.nl

DAM SEX is monthly. Every episode builds.
Dam Parenting — every Wednesday.