Bad Movies Rule!

The Dead Starfish are outnumbered, under-prepared, and already concerned after a first look at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

This week’s pre-game covers the time-travel-to-feudal-Japan premise, the return of Casey Jones, the scores that will make you wince, the trailer’s heavy dose of “Schwing!” and Quantum Leap energy, and a few bold predictions (including whether the turtles invent pizza in ancient Japan). One of us had never seen any Ninja Turtles anything until recently. The suits look cheaper. The sets are big. And yes, turtle sex comes up.

Episode drops Friday morning at Midnight.

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This mailbag is unhinged from the jump. We open a letter that digs into James’s lifelong pickle hatred (and somehow pivots into eggs, tomatoes, and taste-bud evolution), then dive into a pile of movies that showed up in the mail: a Donnie Yen IP Man collection, Austin Butler’s Elvis, a 12-movie Steven Seagal pack with the most generic titles imaginable, and Cats (yes, the CGI one with the buttholes). Sticky-hand warfare erupts courtesy of a Walker, Texas Ranger-inspired gift. Brandon from Michigan sends So I Married an Axe Murderer, Mackinac Island fudge, and a Wing Commander plea, while AJ pitches Dutch (Ed O’Neill) as a holiday must. Voicemails bring a McRib challenge (with a full pre-review rant), a bank-robber getaway story, Halloween 4 squad-car logic from Duane, and a wrestling tag-team call-out involving Bob. Expect chaos, fudge regret, and the usual mailbag mayhem.

Email: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

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James Garner owns a Sherman tank. A corrupt small-town sheriff frames his kid. Then the tank comes out.

In this episode the crew (James, Clint, Charles, and Ryan) goes scene-by-scene through the 1984 oddity Tank. It’s part after-school-special father/son drama, part Police Academy-style riff, and part full-on “I’m driving my personal WWII tank through your police station” revenge movie. Shirley Jones drops lines you never expected from the Partridge Family mom, C. Thomas Howell tries to act, and a white-suited sheriff spends the runtime being the pettiest villain in Georgia.

Expect the usual BMR chaos: long tangents about NCO clubs, boats nobody should buy, “pussy communist,” the ethics of bringing your own tank to a new duty station, and whether a 56-year-old James Garner is still the most charming man alive. We also hand out the awards — including the first-ever Screaming Eagle (Best Inanimate Object) — and argue about whether the movie’s wild tonal shifts and non-ending sink it or make it rule.

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Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com

Voicemail: 262-757-8567

Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

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James Garner owns a fully operational Sherman tank and uses it to stick it to a corrupt sheriff after his son gets railroaded in this 1984 “sticking it to the man” oddity. Join James, Clint, Ryan Mueller (the mayor) as they react to the trailer, spiral into increasingly unhinged predictions about prison breaks, presidential pardons, and “Jail Jail,” and debate whether anyone actually dies in this PG-rated tank rampage that somehow includes nudity.

Tank currently sits at a 33% critic score, 48% audience score, and a 5.8 on IMDb. It’s not streaming free, but you can rent it for $3.99 on Amazon or YouTube if you want to go in prepared.

Does the tank rule, or is it ass cheeks? Pull up a chair and find out.
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We made it to November. Halloween is over, Christmas is creeping in, and the mailbag is stacked.

This week the table is covered in packages. We’ve got a Turbo Man Funko (Howard as Turbo Man, specifically), a full 12-pack of Cheer wine from Daniel, and a plush starfish mascot from Cory that is already destined for the pre- and post-game table. On top of that, a whole stack of movies landed: Expendables collection, The Frighteners, Doctor Detroit, Critters (the whole set), Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Black Christmas, Not Another Teen Movie, The Pirate Movie, Pirates of Penzance, Krampus, Jack and Jill, King Solomon’s Mines, Dollman / Demonic Toys, Kentucky Fried Movie, and more. Some of these are going straight into the reacts pile.

We also got into emails and voicemails covering:

How the show went from “talk about the movie” to full scene-by-scene breakdowns

Which Fast & Furious / racing movie world you’d actually want to live in

A drunk Waylon from Indianapolis calling to tell us Bob is the only one who doesn’t suck (multiple times)

A wrestling RPG tag-team match question (who’s your partner, who’s the BMR crew member you’re fighting, and who’s their partner?)

Resident Evil thoughts from across the ocean

Kids headbanging to the mailbag theme and a 12-year-old who’s already a Terminator 2 / RoboCop guy

Silence of the Lambs and the “Big Five” Oscars trivia

A World Series update from a Rays fan who was at the game

A “one drunk actor per scene” movie concept

And a first-time email from a mailman who’s been through the whole catalog

Plus the usual chaos, inside jokes, and people who sent movies with zero notes (we still love you).

If you want in on the next one:
Email: thisshowistrash@gmail.com
Voicemail: (262) 757-8567
Physical mail: Bad Movies Rule! P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105

Reacts from a lot of these movies are going up on the main YouTube channel, so keep an eye out.

Thanks for sending the goodies and the messages. This is the highlight of the week.
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