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- He was fifty and tired in a way sleep did not fix. The birthday had come and gone quietly, and now he sat on the porch with a beer sweating in his hand, watching the light go orange over the yard.
He thought about the meetings. The spreadsheets. The younger men in the office who looked at him the way you look at something that's already gone. Thirty years of that. But thirty years also of structure. Of knowing what the day required. Of being needed, even if it was only because someone had to sit in that chair and sign the papers. The job had made a discipline of him. It had kept him from floating away entirely. - The plane had leveled off an hour ago, and outside the window there was nothing but grey, the clouds going by close and fast, and below them somewhere the ocean they could not see. She had the window seat. He was beside her with a book open on his tray, not reading it.
“Do you ever think about going back,” she said, watching the grey go by.
“Back where.”
“Not anywhere. Just back. In time.” - The rain had stopped. She lay on her back and watched the ceiling fan not moving.
“You cold?” he said.
“No.”
He put his arm behind his head. The room smelled like her perfume and the cigarette he hadn’t lit yet.
She thought about her sister’s wedding, how her sister had cried, and whether she would ever stand in a white dress and mean it. She thought about the apartment lease, six months left, and whether he’d still be here when it ended. She thought about asking him what they were. She had asked before. It never went well.
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