The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks

What can you do with a setback you cannot undo?

In this recorded Stoic talk, I explore the difference between enjoying a moment and valuing how you spent it. We look at wanting the life you already have, finding a useful response to adversity, and practising with ordinary frustrations before facing larger challenges. I draw on Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and Nietzsche, alongside my own experiences of injury and interrupted training.

The talk closes with a reflection on the everyday moments we may one day miss, including the difficult ones.
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“Bear and forbear.” Two words are easy enough to remember. Using them when a conversation becomes uncomfortable, or your phone offers an escape from work, is harder.

In this episode I look at where the saying comes from, what Aulus Gellius actually reports about Epictetus, and why endurance and restraint need judgement. We also look at choosing the practice that fits the situation, rather than turning every difficulty into a test of toughness.

There is a small exercise to try: pause before following an urge, or stay briefly with an ordinary discomfort when it is safe to do so. The ten-breath version is a modern suggestion, not an ancient prescription or a proven dose. Leaving an unsafe situation and getting help remain sensible choices.

Sources:

Aulus Gellius, Attic Nights 17.19, translated by J. C. Rolfe: https://topostext.org/work/208
Epictetus, Discourses 3.12: https://www.stoicsource.com/epictetus/discourses/3.12/
Epictetus, Discourses 4.8.20, where the same verbs appear together: https://www.stoicsource.com/epictetus/discourses/4.8/
Epictetus, Enchiridion 2: https://www.stoicsource.com/epictetus/enchiridion/2/
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.33, translated by George Long: https://lexundria.com/m_aur_med/5.33/lg
Musonius Rufus, lecture VI, translated by Cora E. Lutz: https://www.stoicsource.com/rufus/lectures/VI/
Donald Robertson’s modern interpretive account: https://donaldrobertson.name/2012/10/18/the-system-of-stoic-philosophy/

Source note: The standalone two-command maxim is preserved by Aulus Gellius, Attic Nights 17.19, through Favorinus. The same verb pair also appears within a sentence in Epictetus, Discourses 4.8.20. Gellius names endurance and self-restraint. The fear/craving mapping is a modern interpretive lens. Arrian recorded the surviving Discourses, rather than every teaching Epictetus ever gave.

Read the article and source notes: https://www.stoichandbook.co/epictetus-endure-and-abstain/
Watch the video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0YSY_3UjAJY
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An anxious thought keeps coming back. It sounds reasonable every time, and thinking harder hasn't helped.

I work through the Triple Column Technique with one everyday worry: asking a question in a meeting. The practice comes from David Burns's Feeling Good. I've adapted the middle column to ask what you're assuming, with Seneca's Letter 13 as a guide.

Write the thought, examine the assumption and give a response you can actually believe. Then put the pen down. You don't need to keep rewriting until you feel calm.

Sources discussed: Seneca, Letters 13.5 and 13.7–13; Burns, Feeling Good (1980); Jamison and Scogin (1995); Ramirez and Beilock (2011).

This episode is educational, not therapy or individual treatment. If anxiety is disrupting everyday life, speak with your GP.

Stoic Anxiety Mastery, the course this practice comes from: https://stoicanxiety.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show_notes&utm_campaign=sam_launch_2026_11&utm_content=ep2
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The day is finished, but you may still be going over it. This quiet bedtime practice begins with settling into the bed, then offers short Stoic reflections on having enough and allowing yourself to rest. You do not need to repeat the lines or remember them. Let them pass, with long silences between each one. A voice-only meditation for listening in bed, with no music and a gentle close.
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You understand the Stoic advice about anxiety. So why doesn't it help at four in the morning?

I look at the gap between knowing and doing, why reading about anxiety can become a way of avoiding practice, and what changed when I stopped making calm the test of a useful exercise.

The practice is small: separate the sensation from the instruction that arrives with it. You can feel anxious and still choose what to do next.

Stoic Anxiety Mastery: course details and launch updates

This episode is educational, not therapy or individual treatment.

Sources discussed: Seneca, Letters 13.4. Epictetus, Encheiridion 5, translated by A. A. Long in How to Be Free. Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009), Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Salkovskis and colleagues (1999), An experimental investigation of the role of safety-seeking behaviours in the maintenance of panic disorder with agoraphobia. Levitt and colleagues (2004), The effects of acceptance versus suppression of emotion on subjective and psychophysiological response to carbon dioxide challenge in patients with panic disorder. Ellis (1962), Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy. Beck and colleagues (1979), Cognitive Therapy of Depression.

Research note: the Arnsten research concerns stress experienced as uncontrollable. The dopamine aside is commentary, rather than a finding established by the studies cited here.
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