10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families

Karen McMahon is a Certified Relationship and Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Karen leads a team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen began divorce coaching in 2010 after recognizing that the pain of her divorce led her on a transformational journey into an incredible new life. During her three and a half year tumultuous divorce, Karen had a laser focus on healing and refining herself, she found her true voice, learned to set suitable boundaries, and surrendered what she could not control. As a result, her life began to improve exponentially. Karen has since spent the last decade helping thousands of men and women navigate the emotional and practical difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, co-author of ‘Stepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibility” and co-creator of JBD’s exclusive 12 Step Divorce Recovery Program. Her other accomplishments include work as a NYS Lobbyist, Health Advocate, Community Organizer, and Chairperson of a NYS non-profit organization, Director of Sales and Marketing, and successful small business owner. Quotes: "Nobody shows up as their prettiest self during a divorce." "Most of us have not been taught how to handle conflict." "Once you see a flaw, all you look for is more flaws. And in divorce, we've seen flaws." "We often listen to hear where we disagree." "As parents, it's often hard for us to transition with our kids as they grow up." "Every upset is a setup." "Four things influence how we respond to external data: 1) assumptions; 2) interpreting; 3) limiting beliefs; 4) inner critic." "Replace judgment with curiosity." Resources: Adversaries into Allies by Bob Burg: https://www.amazon.com/Adversaries-into-Allies-Ultimate-Influence/dp/1591848164 Journey Beyond Divorce support website: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/ Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast: https://journeybeyonddivorce.libsyn.com/ FREE Rapid Relief Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/JourneyBeyondDivorce Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/journey_beyond_divorce/

Our guest today is the amazing Gayla Grace, of Family Life Blended! Gayla Grace serves on staff with FamilyLife Blended® as a writer and a speaker and desires to equip blended families for life together. She is the author of Stepparenting with Grace: A Devotional for Blended Families and co-author of Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul. She has a master’s degree in Psychology and Counseling and is a mom to three and stepmom to two adult children. She and her husband Randy have been married 26 years and are recent empty nesters residing in Conway, AR. Quotes: "Don't quit--it's normal to go through a wilderness." "In a remarriage, the non-bio parent comes in as a friend and should focus on building a relationship with the kids...Let them know 'I care about you.'" "Watch the cues from the kids and try to match that." "One obstacle is the ambiguity of the stepparent role, and that role will change over time." "Don't wear your feelings on your shoulder." "Hold onto the small victories and encouraging moments as a stepparent." "We don't realize the impact we're having on our stepkids' lives until they're old enough to realize it as well." "If someone has been a lousy spouse, we assume they're also a lousy parent, but that's not necessarily the case. We have to change our mindset about that person." "Make sure you are nurturing your marriage." Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GaylaGrace.author Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gaylagrace/ Websites: http://www.stepparentingwithgrace.com/ https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/ https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-blended-podcast/ Gayla's Books: https://www.amazon.com/Gayla-Grace/e/B00J9P237A%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share Email: [email protected]

This week's guests are the amazing Heather Hetchler and Ed Vargo! Heather Hetchler is an writer, speaker and certified life coach for stepfamilies since 2009. She is monthly contributor to StepMom Magazine and a co-author of Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul. Her upcoming book Stepmothering: A Cautionary Tale releases 2023. She is also a money mentor with enlightenHer where she helps women develop a healthy money mindset. She began partnering with enlightenHer in 2017 where she presented on Second Saturdays helping women navigating divorce. Given Heather’s focus is caring for a woman’s emotional well-being, adding the financial piece helps her guide women, including stepmoms, to navigate their money relationship which often grows more complex with stepfamily dynamics. Heather earned a BA in Communications from Miami University and a Masters in Applied Communication and Methodology from Cleveland State University and has 22 years of experience in family communications. You may know her from the work she continues to do at Learning2Step and Sisterhood of Stepmoms. She has a passion for educating, encouraging, and empowering women. She resides in Cleveland with her husband, rescue dog and the last of their six children who will launch 2022! Ed Vargo, CFP®, CLU®, ChFC®, AIF®, CDFA®, founder of Burning River Advisory Group and enlightenHer, grew up in inner-city Cleveland. During the Vietnam War, Ed’s father served as a sergeant military policeman in South Korea where he met and married Ed’s mother. Once back in the States, Ed’s mother faced the challenges of a being a first-generation immigrant who couldn’t read or write English or drive a car. This instilled in Ed a deeply personal commitment to women’s empowerment and is the powerful undercurrent running through Burning River and enlightenHer. Providing customized financial solutions with a compassionate and caring hand, he is committed to helping women achieve financial independence. Ed is a frequent guest speaker at companies, organizations, and conferences, as well as a regular contributor to various media outlets including the Associated Press, Money, CNBC, and Forbes. Ed and his firm, Burning River Advisory Group, have been awarded the Women’s Choice Award for Financial Advisors/Firms every year since its inauguration. They are honored in being recognized as one of the first 100 companies in the country to receive this prestigious award. Quotes: "Every stepfamily comes from a place of pain for someone." "Financial infidelity is lying to your spouse or partner about money, or hiding money decisions or habits, and it leads to a severe breach of trust." "Financial infidelity tends to start small and build over time." "People aren't very good at talking about money. This topic should be an open book based on shared goals and values." "To get on the same page about money, the first step is to agree on 'guiding principles.'" "Sometimes you have to be the one who makes amends, and you encourage communication through compassion." "With money, start with values and what is important to you. Begin with a united front, and all money issues are easier." Emails: [email protected] [email protected] Links enlightenher.com/freshstart www.enlightenHer.com Facebook: @enlightenHer on Instagram: @YourMoneyMentors www.Learning2Step.com Instagram: @Learning2step Support www.TheStepmomBlueprint.com www.SisterhoodofStepmoms.com

Today's guest is the excellent and energetic Joslynn Flowers, better known as the host of 'The Daily Stepmom'! Joslynn is a mom of four, (three being her stepchildren) and a certified stepmom coach! Manager turned stay-at-home mom once Covid hit. In her time as a stepmom she has experienced the many struggles that come along with being a stepmom and the blending of a family. Feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, and lonely in her role she began seeking a way to turn her stepmom experience from negative to a positive co-parenting experience, which hasn’t been easy! Dealing with many high conflict situations and multiple custody battles, ending with a CWS situation granting her husband full physical and legal custody, that almost broke her - to finally finding her place in her role as full time stepmom. She has even created a healthy working co-parent friendship with her stepchildren's mom. Joslynn loves to help other stepmoms do the same while creating healthy boundaries. Joslynn created and hosts a chart topping podcast called 'The Daily Stepmom Podcast.' There she talks about not just surviving but thriving in your role as a stepmom! Joslynn has been a featured speaker for The Stepmom Summit, The Ultimate Step Family Summit. She was named one of the Top 10 Podcasts in 2022 by SHE Magazine. She has been interviewed by Raise Parenting Magazine. She has also created a mini work book and an affirmation journal for stepmoms. She loves to connect with others via her Instagram account so find her at Dailystepmom. Quotes: "It's important to acknowledge our feelings and not feel bad about them...but also don't stay there." "Having different expectations can cause small issues to become larger issues. The key is to be able to have conversations about difficult topics." "Always show respect, especially to my kids' mom, both her role and as their mother...This is not always done in co-parenting situations, and it leads to problems." "You can't pour from an empty cup--time for self-care and reflection is critical for families." "Your feelings are valid, but it's not OK to take out your frustrations on the people around you." "One important thing for stepmothers to do is to find a community!" Links https://linktr.ee/Thedailystepmom https://www.instagram.com/dailystepmom/ www.thedailystepmom.com