2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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We're Being Replaced! (For The Summer) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS: - Order on DoorDash and save big during Summer of DashPass. Sign up today! DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS - Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/cave Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer reunite in sunny California for a jam-packed episode full of FOMO, fatherhood, and flaming hot air balloon disasters. The bears talk about Tom’s California vacation and getting into surfing with his boys. They dig into wild parenting comparisons, Luis J. Gomez’s insane training routines, and Bert feeling FOMO for Andrew Schulz’s perfect summer life on Instagram. Tom then drops major news about shooting a new Netflix movie called El Tigre, which leads to Bert sharing his own plans for filming the series Free Bert in Atlanta. With both Bears tied up all summer, they announce special "Summer Bears" episodes and name the two hosts Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias. Things get political (kind of) as Bert and Tom debate who should talk about world issues—spoiler alert: it’s not them. Bert then rants about the sheer terror of hot air balloons and Tom tells another legendary Top Dog tale about how he diverted a plane so he could take a piss. Buckle up—it’s a bumpy (and hilarious) ride. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 296 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - Father FOMO 00:05:07 - The Summer Bears 00:16:45 - FaceTiming Chrissy D 00:20:16 - The Middle Class Of Comedy 00:33:09 - Bert Explains Global Politics 00:39:48 - Hot Air Balloons Are Sketch 00:49:29 - Crazy Plane Stories 01:00:17 - Helicopters 01:06:45 - Uber Driver Smackdown Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:11:52
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1:11:52
Fun With Foreign Slurs | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS: - Use code BEARS at https://www.monarchmoney.com/bears in your browser for 50% your first year. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior. They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:58 - DMV Hotties & Beefing With Kids 00:10:07 - Women & Children First 00:17:53 - Shame, Mel Gibson, & Lance Armstrong 00:24:57 - Famous People Committing Crimes 00:35:32 - Would You Rather? 00:39:13 - War Documentaries 00:44:48 - Slurs In Other Languages 00:53:44 - Names & The Studio Beef 00:59:11 - Japan & Uranium 01:05:08 - Lady Bert Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:09:07
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1:09:07
Kinky Kings w/ Jim Norton | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Check out Jim's new special Unconceivable right now on YouTube! Watch is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb05fiUz6cU SPONSORS: -Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears -Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at http://square.com/go/bears ! #squarepod This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary Jim Norton! The bears dive into Jim’s brand new special, why he no longer wants to be a cuck, and what it’s like to live shamelessly — including some very NSFW stories from Brazil. Tom and Jim cover everything from a friendly Hitler and war documentaries to bombing onstage and the dark side of stand-up. They check out clips of Orson Welles’ drunk ad reads and William Shatner being difficult during a recording, and discuss JFK conspiracies, before pivoting to the power of charismatic maniacs like Jeffrey Epstein. Plus, Tom confronts his own comedy insecurities and Jim shares some Patrice O'Neal stories and breaks down the wildest moments from his years in radio. You don’t want to miss this one! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 294 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - It's Hitler Summer 00:05:41 - Comedy Special Edits, Self-Hatred, & Narcissists 00:16:41 - Embracing Shame 00:23:49 - Dopamine Release 00:30:01 - Orson Welles & William Shatner 00:38:27 - Favorite Interview Guests & JFK Conspiracies 00:43:50 - Epstein 00:50:10 - Bombing 00:56:30 - Headliners 01:02:27 - Patrice O'Neal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:12:27
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1:12:27
"Dancers" Would Drop Me Off At School w/ That Mexican OT | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS: - Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code cave at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/cave #chubbiespod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bart Kersher are joined by rapper That Mexican OT! They kickoff the chat talking about Mexican food, burger spots, and That Mexican OT reveals a wild secret he has about eggs. On top of being super chill, That Mexican OT is a real authentic dude and he opens up about his very unique upbringing that helped shape who he is today. The trio discuss everything from hunting kangaroos to Japanese cholos, plus they also talk about bullfighting, gangster moms, pimp fathers, four wheelers, Project Recess! Grab some Por Osos and enjoy this episode! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 293 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:16 - Mexican Food, Burger Places, & Eggs 00:10:47 - Kangaroo Hunting, Collabs, & Project Recess 00:19:56 - Bullfighting & Strippers 00:25:57 - Mom Scents & Med Shit 00:34:30 - Going International 00:40:18 - Authenticity & Growing Up Young 00:46:30 - Four Wheelers & Cholo Culture 00:52:26 - It's Scary Underwater 01:00:25 - Tough Guys 01:07:19 - Album Drop, Movies, & Rap Music 01:15:38 - Vodka Endorsement Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:25:43
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1:25:43
Mark Normand Is A Gay Dad | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS ! #trueclassicpod - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the hilariously unfiltered Mark Normand! The episode kicks off with farts and sharts as Mark shares the horrifying tale of sharting on a date right after letting one rip at the top of the show. The Bears talk about parenthood, including Mark's brand-new baby, Tom's kids telling gay jokes, the absolute chaos of tiny humans mimicking adult behavior, and the innocence of youth. They next dive into Tom Cruise’s intensity, his popcorn-eating habits, and whether the man who saved cinema is also just a little…off. Then they go deep on comedy life: struggling in New York, open mics, internet haters, and the brutal truth that even legends get roasted. Mark also shares more about life as a Brooklyn dad, falling asleep to podcasts, his time as a janitor, and a wild Copenhagen strip club story courtesy of Bert Kreischer. The conversation also hits on Tim Dillon's CNN moment, Sam Morril, Joe List, Vyvanse brain boosts, and weird dudes trying to get into business with Tom’s old corn star neighbor. Buckle up, queef it up, and enjoy! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 292 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:35 - Sharts & Babies 00:05:08 - Tom Cruise 00:13:42 - Dad Stuff 00:20:12 - COMEDY! 00:27:22 - Hate From The Internet 00:33:42 - New York Comedy Scene 00:38:46 - Gay For Bert 00:44:41 - Conquering New York 00:51:03 - Right Man For The Job 01:00:10 - Texas 01:03:34 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:06:49
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1:06:49