PodcastsKomedie2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

YMH Studios
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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  • 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    Tom Poops The Bucket, Bert Shit The Bed | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    29-06-2026 | 1 u. 6 Min.
    SPONSORS:


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    This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dig into the wild, unexpected Black audience response to Bad Thoughts Season 2, Tom debuting his "out of your control" philosophy on how comedy lands, and a hilarious accounting of which comedians did and didn't text Bert about his new show. Bert opens up about getting nastier and setting harder boundaries in sobriety, comparing himself to the A-Rod and Rafael Nadal documentaries, and Tom reveals his ongoing health investigation that involves shitting in a bucket for a lab test. The Bears also spiral into a debate on regional diets and genetics, plan a mushroom trip with an actual shaman, get Bert's dad on the phone to discuss his own legendary history of public accidents, and revisit boys' locker room culture versus Gen Z's aversion to male nudity. Plus: a Mountain Dew summer sizzle reel callout to fans, a celebration-of-life merch drop business plan for when they die, and the most detailed bowel movement breakdown the show has ever produced.

    2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 332

    https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com

    In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. New York: call 8778-HOPENY, text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get fifty dollars in Predictions Dollars that expire in one year, issued every seven days via click to claim for twenty-one days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at http://dkng.co/audio

    Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:00:14 - Bad Thoughts' Black Fanbase00:07:28 - Mountain Dew Summer00:11:31 - Healthiest Guy at the Party00:16:33 - The Subconscious Mind & Nasty Bert00:26:17 - Setting Boundaries & the A-Rod Documentary00:30:25 - Black Graduations, Bert's Identity Crisis & the Rafa Nadal Doc00:40:43 - Merch Plans for When You Die00:46:12 - Mushroom Trip & The Gut Health Investigation00:52:10 - Bert Shit Himself in His Sleep00:55:58 - Locker Room Talk01:00:33 - Breeding

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  • 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    Patrice O’Neal Destroyed Me | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    15-06-2026 | 1 u. 16 Min.
    SPONSORS:


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    This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Por Osos landing in Publix just in time for the 4th of July, which sends Bert into a full nostalgic spiral about pub subs, boat days, and taking his daughters into "international waters." From there, things get historical, the bears break down the story of the guy who invented the meter and got guillotined for it, which leads them down a rabbit hole of people killed for their big ideas, the French Revolution as the original cancel culture, and Martin Luther versus the Catholic Church.Then Bert tells stories about his relationship with the late Patrice O'Neal: getting destroyed at his first open mic, the Edinburgh trip where they lived together for 29 days watching Bruce Lee movies and Bert getting his feelings systematically demolished, and the moment he found out Patrice had tweeted something kind about him right before the stroke. Tom and Bert also spiral deep into funeral planning, who's required to show up, who gets a Sandler video instead of a live appearance, why Ari's funeral is going to involve hardcore Brooklyn relatives and a lot of confusion, the Andrew Schultz balloon clown apology Bert wants delivered posthumously, and whether or not to get cremated when science might figure something out. Plus: horror movies vs. comedy movies as investments, the film Obsession and its director Curry Baker, Bert's dad crashing the podcast mid-funeral conversation, the band Goose vs. the band Geese, and Mount Joy watching Passion of the Christ on the tour bus.

    2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 331

    https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com

    In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. New York: call 8778-HOPENY, text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org . On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Ontario. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Sportsbook Bonus bets expire in seven days. $50 in Predictions Dollars issued weekly for three weeks, expire in one year. Redeem one non-withdrawable reward. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends June 28th. Terms at http://dkng.co/audio

    Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:02:21 - Por Osos in Publix & Florida Pub Sub Gospel00:08:45 - The Daniel Boone Documentary00:18:51 - The Guy Who Invented the Meter Got Killed for It00:24:59 - People Executed for Big Ideas00:33:46 - Patrice O'Neal Destroys Bert at His First Open Mic00:41:27 - Showtime Special, Party Bus, & Patrice's Funeral00:48:31 - Funerals Vs Celebration Of Life00:57:00 - Nick Kroll, Andrew Schultz & the Balloon Clown Apology01:04:11 - Bert's Dad Chimes In01:05:54 - Noga Erez, Goose Vs. Geese & Mount Joy01:09:02 - Curry Barker's Obsession & Horror vs. Comedy Movies01:15:10 - Wrap

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  • 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    Nick Kroll Convinced Netflix to Air Animated Animal Sex | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    01-06-2026 | 1 u. 45 Min.
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    Also, check out Tom's new bakery, Ciccio Bomba, at the new third location at 1100 South Lamar Blvd in Austin, right across from the Alamo Drafthouse.

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    This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Nick Kroll joins Tom and Bert to break down his new Netflix animated series Mating Season, why animation produces tighter comedy than anything shot on the fly, and the emotional formula behind Big Mouth that turned a filthy puberty show into something people actually shed real tears for. Along the way, they get into an all-timer story from a legendary comedy industry gathering featuring basically every comic you've ever loved, Tom's Charlie Murphy sushi dinner story, Bert's 50-pound weight loss and very specific relapse date, a true urban legend about Michael Landon and a javelin, a genuinely compelling movie pitch called The Quad Squad, and somehow end up in a deep dive on the Eichmann trial, featuring Sir Ben Kingsley showing up to a table read entirely off-book with a swastika-covered script.

    2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 330

    https://tomsegura.com/tour
    https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
    https://store.ymhstudios.com

    Chapters
    00:00:00 - Intro
    00:06:30 - Why Animation Forces Comedians to Actually Write
    00:18:31 - The Greatest Comedy Photo You're Not In
    00:25:25 - Tom's Charlie Murphy Sushi Dinner Story
    00:39:33 - Raccoons, Black Voice, & Building the Mating Season Universe
    00:54:46 - Did Michael Landon Kill a Man With a Javelin?
    01:01:18 - A Completely Serious Movie Pitch
    01:04:19 - Clothes, Bert's Transformation, & Relapse Date
    01:13:07 - Nacho Figueras & the Argentina Horse Riding Disaster
    01:25:13 - Gay Moose, Goats, & Nick Kroll's Full Project Lineup
    01:29:54 - N.O.R.E Calls In
    01:32:30 - Nick Kroll Speaks Spanish
    01:36:45 - Hunting Eichmann & Sir Ben Kingsley's Unhinged Table Read
    01:44:11 - Wrap

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  • 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    Live from the Rose Bowl | 2 Bears 5K ft. Jelly Roll, Ari Shaffir, Joe DeRosa & Are You Garbage?

    18-05-2026 | 1 u. 12 Min.
    The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com. There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy!

    Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0

    Also, check out Tom's new bakery, Ciccio Bomba, at the new third location at 1100 South Lamar Blvd in Austin, right across from the Alamo Drafthouse.

    SPONSORS:
    - 🌎 Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use code bears at checkout. Download Saily app or go to https://saily.com/bears ⛵
    - Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger® Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com!
    - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears.
    - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS.
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    Live from the legendary Rose Bowl during Netflix Is A Joke Fest, the Bears are back and even sweatier than usual! Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer take the stage fresh off the 2 Bears 5K for a completely unhinged live episode packed with race stories, weight loss victories, comic cameos, chaos, and pure degeneracy.
    Joined by Jelly Roll, Ari Shaffir, Joe DeRosa, and the guys from Are You Garbage?, the crew covers everything from losing hundreds of pounds and surviving airplane bathrooms while fat, to bidet discoveries, Netflix brunch disasters, H. Foley's iPhone nightmare, and the emotional insanity that surrounds the 2 Bears community.
    Plus: Bert reveals he mailed busts of his own dick to his closest friends, Tom bombs in front of Eddie Murphy and lives to tell the tale, Ari returns from traveling the world with a surprise award, and the whole crew spirals into stories about body transformations, sobriety, addiction, and comedy fame.

    2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 329

    https://tomsegura.com/tour
    https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
    https://store.ymhstudios.com

    Chapters
    00:00:00 - Intro
    00:02:50 - Jelly Roll aka The Third Bear
    00:23:40 - H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
    00:49:51 - Ari Shaffir
    01:03:38 - Joe DeRosa
    01:12:56 - Wrap & Plugs
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  • 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

    The Bears Go Up In Smoke | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

    04-05-2026 | 1 u. 16 Min.
    The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com. There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy!

    Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0

    SPONSORS:

    - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears.

    - Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com

    - Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS.

    - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears

    - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary.

    - Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started.

    This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tim and Bart go up in smoke, sharing cigars together as they talk about whatever floats around in their collective heads. They talk about fat guy problems, before going into Tiger Woods' spiraling personal life. The Bears also walk down memory lane, comparing the infamous fat Bert pitching photo to one of him recently, and the drastic change is pretty staggering. They also unpack the text exchange between a student and the teacher sister of influencer Noah Beck, share some wild drug stories, and check out a clip of Doug Stanhope roasting a city council. Also the 2 Bears 5k is coming up! Hope you been training.

    2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 328

    https://tomsegura.com/tour

    https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour

    https://store.ymhstudios.com

    Chapters

    00:00:00 - Intro

    00:01:56 - Fat Guy Problems

    00:09:23 - Tiger Woods & Cigars

    00:21:23 - Pitching Fat Pictures

    00:29:30 - Noah Beck's Sister's Texts

    00:43:40 - Age Differences

    00:47:12 - Girl Talk

    00:48:17 - Wild Drug Stories

    00:59:19 - Doug Stanhope Fought City Hall

    01:05:40 - Brendon Walsh Shenanigans

    01:11:33 - Sabbatical & Wrap Up
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Over 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.
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