Raising Good Humans

Getting nothing but "fine"?

Dr. Aliza Pressman on why your questions shut kids down and what actually gets them to open up and talk to you.

If "How was your day?" only ever gets you a "fine" (or an eye roll), you're not alone, and it doesn't mean something is wrong in your relationship. In this episode of Raising Good Humans, developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman explains why so many kids stop sharing around the elementary school years, and why pushing for details usually backfires. Drawing on research on how children and teens decide what to share, she shows that kids open up to parents who feel approachable, not just available, and that how you react to the small, everyday stories decides whether they'll come to you with the big ones.

What you’ll learn:

- Why kids share more with parents who are approachable, not just available

- The Goldilocks reaction: how to respond when your child tells you something surprising so they keep talking

- Why micro-moments of connection matter more than big "tell me everything" talks

- Specific, low-stakes questions to use instead of "How was your day?" (and when to stop asking altogether)

- How to get the information you need when safety is at stake without being nosy

- Creative ways in: word games, family game night, your child's interests, and other trusted adults

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:

Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books:

✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become":

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/

📖 Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547

Follow Raising Good Humans:

📱 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/

🎙 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044

Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:

📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/

This episode is brought to you by:

Qualia: Experience the most trusted magnesium for purity, potency, and performance. Go to qualialife.com/HUMANS for 50% off. And here’s a bonus, use the code HUMANS for an additional 15% off your order. Thanks to Qualia for sponsoring this episode!

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Gentle parenting turned permissive?

Somewhere between "because I said so" and "is it okay if we go to bed now?", many well-meaning parents lost their footing. In this episode of Raising Good Humans, Dr. Siggie and Dr. Aliza are answering listener questions to unpack how gentle parenting can quietly slide into permissive parenting, and why children actually feel safer when a parent leads with structure, warmth, and clear boundaries.

What you’ll learn:

- Why "all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not" works better than punishment when your child hits a sibling

- The problem with letting kids choose their own consequences, and what builds real ownership instead

- Mom guilt, separation, and how to help kids "hold on" to you when you're apart

- Setting bedtime limits: when connection becomes accommodation

- How to respond to negative self-talk in kids

- Why empty threats stop working, and how to set boundaries that teach self-regulation

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:

📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Siggie Cohen:

https://drsiggie.com/

📚 Her Book, You Are the Parent:

https://drsiggie.com/you-are-the-parent/

Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books:

✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become":

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/

📖 Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547

Follow Raising Good Humans:

📱 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/

🎙 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044

Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:

📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/

This episode is brought to you by:

Orion Sleep: Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Right now, Orion is offering our listeners 15% off at Orionsleep.com/HUMANS.

BetterHelp: If you’ve been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don’t have insurance or don't live in the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit BetterHelp.com/HUMANS

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does homework time in your house end in tears, arguments, or a kid still awake at midnight?

In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Ellen Braaten, founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital and associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. Together they unpack why homework has become such a point of tension in families, why more homework isn't actually better for kids, and how too much of it can quietly chip away at sleep, motivation, and mental health, whether your child is in second grade or staying up late studying in high school.

What you’ll learn:

● How much homework kids actually need by age, and why more than two hours a night stops helping

● The hidden costs of too much homework: lost sleep, lower motivation, and rising anxiety

● How to support your child without hovering, controlling, or doing the work for them ● What to say (and what to skip) when your child is crying over homework

● Why bright kids with ADHD, learning differences, or slow processing speed can take hours to finish

● How to tell the difference between a homework problem and a mental health problem

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:

📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Ellen Braaten: https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/about

📚 Her Book, Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up:

https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/books

Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books:

✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become" by Dr. Aliza Pressman:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/

📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547

Follow Raising Good Humans:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/

🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044

Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:

📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/

This episode is brought to you by:

Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your kid actually know how to be a good friend — or are they just hoping the right friends find them?

In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Sissy Goff and David Thomas, therapists at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, hosts of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast, and New York Times bestselling authors of Capable. Together they unpack why the back-to-school season triggers so much social anxiety in kids, and why shifting the focus from "how do I find friends" to "how do I be a good friend" is one of the most powerful reframes parents can offer, whether their child is walking into their very first kindergarten classroom or navigating the brutal social terrain of middle school.

What you’ll learn:

Why reframing "find a friend" as "be a friend" changes everything for anxious kids

The FAILS framework: teaching kids that awkward first interactions are just data, not failure

"Back pocket questions" kids can use to start conversations at lunch, recess, and beyond

Why middle school friendship struggles are developmentally normal (even when they look fine on the outside)

How to talk to kids about hard social moments without lecturing — the "breezy" approach

The "balcony friends" and "pacesetter" frameworks for helping kids recognize who's actually good for them

RESOURCES & LINKS:

📖 About This Episode's Guests, Sissy Goff & David Thomas

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/about?srsltid=AfmBOooxvHK80JWyYOegbfKJ_Vcqn5ImOoRaHXE5109SNfAUPaMDb8SD

📚 Their Book, Capable:

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/capablebook

🎙️ Their Podcast: Raising Boys and Girls:

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast

Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044

Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/

This episode is brought to you by:

OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you.

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Sibling fights making you crazy?

If you've ever wondered when to intervene in sibling fights versus when to let your kids work it out themselves, this episode gives you a practical framework you can use today.

Sibling fights are one of the most common pain points of parenting, and we’ve all been there. In this episode, developmental psychologist and Raising Good Humans host Dr. Aliza Pressman explains how to tell the difference between normal sibling conflict and situations that require real intervention, why fairness doesn't mean giving every kid the exact same thing, and how the language parents use in the heat of the moment can either fuel resentment or teach kids to fight well.

What you’ll learn:

The "witness, not judge" framework for staying neutral during sibling conflict

How to use "sportscaster mode" to de-escalate fights without picking sides

Why fair doesn't mean equal—and how to explain equity to your kids

The hidden dangers of labeling kids ("the helper," "the difficult one") within the family

How to handle twins, age gaps, and the "glass child" experience

Simple family rituals that build long-term sibling closeness and repair skills

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:

Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044

Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/

This episode is brought to you by:

Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.

Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.

BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.

Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.

Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every Style. Every Home.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices