Secret Life of the American Teenager: Falling in Love, Rewatching & Roasting

Just like in real life, summer is OVAH. So our fabulous peeps return from summer vacation and some more scenes in the hallway ensure.

I ended up getting free tickets for the Katseye concert so I couldn't write out the recap.
But be sure to note that Amy will complain.

The episode opens with Amy in the kitchen practicing Italian, because despite the increasingly obvious problem of who exactly is going to take care of her infant for a month, she remains committed to this European vacation.
Ashley walks in and casually announces that Molly Ringwald and Skipper are engaged. Amy is stunned, and when Molly Ringwald appears, she immediately confronts her. Molly clarifies that Skipper proposed, but she hasn’t actually said yes yet because apparently even she realizes that accepting a marriage proposal immediately after being accused of lying about her baby’s paternity and gold-digging might require some reflection.
At school, Grace makes the catastrophic mistake of telling Adrian about George’s fake vasectomy. Adrian is delighted, because this means Molly Ringwald’s baby could actually be George’s and, in Adrian’s mind, perhaps George will reunite with her. She also tells Grace that her family is looking for a new house.
Grace specifically tells Adrian not to tell anyone.
Naturally, approximately twelve seconds later, the entire school knows.
Deadeyes tells Strawberry Shortcake she heard about George from her brother. Strawberry Shortcake is shocked and wants to know who told him. Meanwhile, Ben hears it from Alice and Henry, who apparently got it from Jack.
Congratulations to Adrian on keeping that secret for roughly one passing period.
Amy, meanwhile, is eating with Strawberry Shortcake and Deadeyes when they start suspiciously asking questions about her family. Amy quickly realizes something is up, and the girls scatter before admitting what they know.
Elsewhere, Strawberry Shortcake approaches Grace and tells her that her own mother died, so she understands some of what Grace is going through. It’s actually a surprisingly sincere moment, and Grace invites her to sit with her and Jack.
Then we return to Amy and Ben, because sincerity can only survive for so long at Grant High.
Betty arrives to bring Ben his lunch, and after she walks away Amy remarks that Betty looks like a hooker.
Which is a lovely thing to say about the woman currently delivering food to your boyfriend.
Ben then decides he can’t keep the vasectomy gossip from Amy any longer and tells her that George apparently never had the procedure.
So now Amy gets to contemplate the possibility that Molly Ringwald is pregnant with George’s baby while she’s trying to arrange an Italian vacation from her own baby.
Meanwhile, Ricky asks the Sausage King how many hours he can work at the butcher shop because he’s looking for an apartment. The Sausage King reveals that there’s actually a space available above the butcher shop and offers it to him.
Finally, Molly Ringwald is with Skipper, who has apparently moved on from “Will you marry me?” to planning their entire future. He tells her that he wants to buy a house where the two of them can live together.
Just the two of them.
Without Amy.
And without John.
So Skipper would like to marry a pregnant woman with two teenage daughters and a grandson — provided none of those family members actually come with her.
At this point, Molly Ringwald might want to hold off on that RSVP.

We're BACK!
And, so is this hot mess.
The episode opens with Amy and Anne exhausted in the kitchen after baby John has apparently decided that sleep is for people without consequences.
Meanwhile, Ben apologizes to his dad for yelling at him and is rewarded not only with his job back at the butcher shop, but with the news that he can spend the summer working in Italy. Naturally, Ben’s first thought is, “Can I bring my teenage girlfriend and her infant?” His dad gently suggests that maybe Ben should use the trip to think about his own future instead. Ben agrees… and then immediately calls Adrian for relationship advice, because that has historically gone so well. Adrian tells him he’d be an idiot to leave Amy alone in America with Ricky, announces that she hates him, and hangs up. Helpful!
Grace, meanwhile, decides she’s ready to return to school after her dad’s death. Unfortunately, Grant High welcomes her back in the only way it knows how: with absolutely no boundaries whatsoever. Everyone offers condolences, but then somehow the conversation turns into people telling Grace about losing their virginity. One girl even reveals that her cat died after she had sex for the first time, which is perhaps the most Secret Life sentence ever written.
Adrian approaches Grace to apologize for not calling, but Grace gets upset and leaves. Amy asks Adrian what happened, and instead of answering, Adrian casually drops the information that Ben is leaving for Italy.
Amy confronts Ben, and while trying to explain the trip, Ben accidentally suggests that maybe she could come too. Amy immediately says yes. Ben, shocked that his bluff has been called, asks what she’d do with John. Amy basically says, “Eh, my parents can keep him,” because apparently motherhood now has a summer vacation option.
Grace walks home upset until George spots her, pulls over, and gives her an unexpectedly sweet pep talk. She returns to school, reunites with Jack, and just like that, the show has decided they’re together again.
Elsewhere, Adrian and Ricky have sex, after which Ricky says he wants them to be exclusive. Adrian’s main condition is that Ricky not sleep with Amy. Ricky assures her he isn’t planning to — although he does need to go to Amy’s house constantly because, minor detail, they have a baby together.
Back at the Juergens house, Amy begins desperately searching for someone willing to raise John for a month while she vacations in Italy. Anne says no. Ashley says no. George says no. Ricky arrives, takes John from George, and before Amy can even finish forming the question, tells her that he absolutely cannot watch their baby for an entire month while she goes to Europe.
So Amy’s Italian summer fantasy may be experiencing some minor childcare-related turbulence.
And finally, Anne is hanging out with David when he accuses her of lying about him being the father of her baby and suggests she’s only dating him because his family is rich. Anne understandably gets furious — but before she can respond, David decides that this is the ideal emotional atmosphere in which to get down on one knee and propose.
Because nothing says “marry me” quite like, “I think you’re lying to me about the paternity of your unborn child and possibly using me for money.”

The audio is off on this one -- my apologies!!

BUT, let's take a moment to remember Sexy Christian Dad, and then, collectively, dump his ashes right on hole 69.

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