Two Librans

Today we are covering several terrible songs by probably the worst ex-member (although the membership itself is disputed) of the Fall, E* Bl*n*y. We censored his name because he seems like the sort of person who googles himself, and I don’t think there’s a single kind word said about him in this whole episode. So, E*, if you stumbled upon this, just walk away. You have a life, a family, and a career. This is just a tiny podcast made by practitioners of the lowest artform in history.
For everyone else, prepare to explore the wild world of this guy, as well as various forums and obscure musical review sites, where E*’s mates have gone out of their way to write something positive about his “skronking wonk bonk.”
Note: This video is age-restricted for pretty graphic real-life war footage. It should also be taste-restricted for being utter shit.
This is a bit of an unusual, ‘proper’ podcast, where we ‘do a journalism’ and go deep down a rabbit hole of mediocrity, instead of just endlessly derailing each other. It’s the NPR of Two Librans, except actually good.
ALSO DISCUSSED
Pascal Le Gras’s cover art
Honking Skronk Rock recorded at a rented house in Holmfirth
Another act from the Manchester Bl*n*y-verse
Seriously, who in the hell IS this guy?!
Mark hits a nadir
Proto-Blaney from Fast Show
Eric Clapton on his racist past: “I just thought it was funny”
PS.
Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks!
Roman has a new graphic novel coming up on Feb.24th from Fantagraphics. And if you’re in London, you can get it signed on Feb.26th at Gosh Comics.
Tom has nothing to plug on his ‘stack, he’s still slowly working on his comic and his prints. Follow him on Instagram, why don’cha?


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

We continue our European travelogue through our misadventures through Berlin and Leipzig last summer, and to accompany it we chose to discuss The Fall’s “Das Vulture Ans Ein Nutter-Wain”, a song whose title in German means absolutely nothing.
We also discuss our old bugbear Patti Smith (the bleeper had to do overtime on this ep), Jordan Peterson’s all-meat diet, and Roman’s dangerously truthful Trumpberg-trolling on Instagram. Roman is pretty trashed on this one after a full day of irritating his audience online for no reason. Probably not his finest performance, but the man was dealing with Society, give him a break, damn it! Tom is drinking too, but that’s pretty par for the course.
ALSO DISCUSSED
Roman’s Epstein moment
Jordan Peterson DESTROYS feminism by talking over woman
Patti Smith’s N-word pass revisited
Previously discussed in episode 11.
Beyond Bath and Beyond
Here she is confirming that she indeed is a n************. This might be the most irritating interview with anyone, ever. She uses N-word within the first minute (different times).
IYKYK
Other classics
Tom interrupting Roman’s “meditating”
Saul Steinberg getting a little flirty with the interviewer
(different times)
The Crumb bio
that probably desperately needs promo from our very popular pod
Roman’s cursed children’s book that brought him questionable new audiences
Friend of the pod Anna Haifisch
Friend and collaborator of the pod James Turek
Men sleep on layers of bedsheets and think it’s fine
Us
PS.
Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks!
Roman has a new graphic novel coming up on Feb.24th from Fantagraphics. And if you’re in London, you can get it signed on Feb.26th at Gosh Comics.
Tom has nothing to plug on his ‘stack, he’s still slowly working on his comic and his prints. Follow him on Instagram, why don’cha?


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

WARNING, INFANT!
If you came to the pod looking for informed Fall commentary, this episode might not be the best place to start. It was ostensibly to be about the Fall-filler “classic” Papal Visit, but things got badly derailed when we discussed our European adventure together earlier this year. If you’re looking for a decent introduction to our somewhat-Fall-related banter, check out our recent recent ep on Bonkers in Phoenix. Otherwise, enjoy the travelogue!
As a result, the least-deserving song in the Fall catalogue is a two-episode special, so stay tuned.
LADZ ON TOUR
We’re going over our first and last pub crawl pilgrimage to Manchester, and get derailed into discussing beastmodes, Leigh Bowery at the Tate, sensitive actor Pedro Pascal, early British indie games, bouncy castles and other worthy matters.
ALSO DISCUSSED
LS Lowry 360 experience
VR Colonoscopy
Leigh Bowery
SHUT UP, LITTLE MAN!
That egg gate
Dizzy
Roman’s scenic death march
A bouncy castle near a church (church was on the left)
The Mancunian Neckbeard
The semi-official MES pub crawl
Honey, we have Cuphead at home
Bank Holidays in Manchester

BEAST MODE

PS.
Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks.
Roman is back with an exciting new Terrible Father adventure:
Tom is still cranking away furiously on his comic, and you can read the last installment with its proper formatting.
PPS.
From one of the lavatories.



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

This episode we cover such festive topics as school shootings, Zohran’s waifu (who is definitely listening to the pod), and the prison industrial complex! Since this is the first episode we recorded and edited in a timely manner, we even talked about the newest Jeffrey Epstein “drop” and other topical matters—listen now, or feel irrelevant forever.
JINGLE BELL ROCK
Merry Mark E. Smith-smas, boys and girls, it’s the very first Two Librans Holiday Special! This episode’s Fall song is a bizarre cover of Jingle Bell Rock from a mid 90s John Peel session, with a wild story behind its improvised lyrics. We delve into the song’s history, and its many, many cover versions, almost all of them terrible.
For comparison, here is the original. We’ll go over all the missing and added lyrics, green M&S bags, Brussels sprouts, old beef, and all.
We’re a little drunk on this one. So sneak off from staid and awkward family time, lock yourself in the bathroom and spend some quality time with your real family.
ALSO DISCUSSED
The story behind the cover
From the new audiobook version of Steve Hanley’s the Big Midweek.
Roman’s exceedingly thoughtful gift for Tom
Gets yours here
NY post headlines
Prison
Just friends
Kurt Vonnegut farting around
River City Ransom US cover art
PS.
Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks.
Tom is still cranking away furiously on his comic, and you can read the last installment with its proper formatting.
Roman recently had a work trip and made some exciting drawings about office life. If you’re reading this before the end of the year, his annual subscription has a discount, and he’s pledging to put out more posts.


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

Howdy-ho, fellow and honorary Librans, to a brand-spankin’-new episode we recorded months ago! Now that we’ve crossed the threshold into winter, it’s a great time to release an episode that we recorded in late spring and said will “probably come out this summer.” When Tom heard that while editing the episode it made him very sad! He looked outside at the frosty gray day from his millennial gray apartment. He then looked back at Adobe Audition and started sobbing. Poor Tom.
But Tom was rapidly filled with cheer as he realized this was the episode where we discuss…
BRITISH PEOPLE IN HOT WEATHER
Yes, what better time to share a song about summer than in the middle of the winter of our diss-content? This banging tune will certainly warm you up, whatever cold region you might be currently inhabiting.
Mark brings himself to giggles singing about how poorly the British handle the heat in this weird B-Side released around the time he went through a divorce and recorded Extricate. It might be their most spite-fueled album, which is really saying something when you consider their catalogue, and it’s nice to hear Mark get a little silly in this pretty throw-away track.
ALSO DISCUSSED
Spending the summer with Tom Hank’s son (really.)
No joke, this is Tom Hank’s son
Fellow faux-Jamaican-Patoi lover, Adrian Brody
Sound of the Summer.
Kubrik’s scene compositions in Barry Lyndon
This great interview with Robert Crumb at the 92nd St. Y (if you listen closely you can hear Tom laughing in the audience!)
The intensely disturbing Claymation film The Adventures of Mark Twain
Here, watch the whole fuckin’ movie!
Roman’s very short career in Facebook games

PS.
Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman recently came back from France with some very French comics to show.
And whoa! Tom is writing comics again!
Holy shit, you’d better subscribe so you can READ THE WHOLE BOOK as he slowly draws it!


This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com