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The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

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The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF
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  • Living with an Undefended Heart - Mary Stancavage
    What does it mean to live with an undefended heart?Here Mary Stancavage’s explores the profound practice of living what she has been investigating for years. She begins by acknowledging that we all build emotional armor as a response to pain and suffering, often unconsciously, to protect ourselves from further hurt. This armor manifests as fixed views, fear, judgment, perfectionism, and numbing behaviors, which ultimately isolate us and prevent authentic connection.Mary emphasizes that this defensive stance is a denial of reality and contributes to suffering, echoing the Buddha’s teachings about clinging and the second noble truth. She shares that meditation and mindful sitting helped her face and welcome difficult emotions—grief, anger, sadness—with kindness and openness, revealing that embracing these feelings gently can transform fear and alienation into freedom and connection.Mary then outlines a practical and compassionate path toward chipping away at this armor using the Buddhist Eightfold Path as a safety net. Key practices include:Wise speech—saying what needs to be said even when it's hardCompassionate intentionNon-harming that extends beyond mere avoidance to active kindness and generosity.She distinguishes between healthy boundaries and defenses, cautioning against “idiot compassion” that allows others to abuse us. Mary also highlights the importance of remaining present with whatever arises in the moment without resistance, cultivating equanimity as a deep intimacy with reality as it is.Mary concludes by inviting listeners to reflect on the challenges and joys of this lifelong journey, reminding us that an open heart is an act of resistance in a world full of suffering and injustice, and that through love, kindness, and presence, we participate in collective liberation and healing.______________Mary Stancavage has practiced meditation, yoga, and cultivated a spiritual practice for over 35 years and in 2009 was empowered to teach Buddhadharma. She teaches classes, retreats, coaches and mentors individuals and has facilitated several Year-to-Live groups. She has served as a volunteer hospital chaplain and been involved with leadership in several non-profit organizations over the years both in meditation and in the social justice arena. She is currently a member of the Guiding Teachers Council for Insight Community of the Desert, and is a Board Member of both Meditation Coalition and CLUE: Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice.For the last several years, Mary has investigated what it means to live with an undefended heart and more information on this can be found on her website, https://marystancavage.org. Fun fact: Mary has an MA from UCLA and spent several seasons working as an archaeologist in Syria. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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  • Relating to Ourselves and the World - Michaiel Patrick Bovenes
    Michaiel Patrick Bovenes invites us on a spiritual journey to reconnect with our “Capital S” Self — the soul’s eternal essence — instead of staying trapped in ego-driven identities shaped by society. He explains that true spirituality isn’t about rituals or rigid beliefs, but about cultivating an authentic, living relationship with the divine energy that flows through us, around us, and beyond us. By integrating our inner masculine (willpower, clarity) and feminine (feeling, imagination) energies, we come into wholeness, which fosters deeper peace, creativity, and truth. Michaiel shares that feelings of isolation are often rooted in our minds and can begin to dissolve through a shift in consciousness — by being open, curious, humble, and genuinely appreciative of others.Michaiel also touches on how love, even when unnoticed or unreturned, never goes to waste — its energy contributes to healing both personally and collectively. He shares a touching personal story of grief that underscores the importance of expressing love and gratitude now, not later. Especially for LGBTQI individuals who may struggle with isolation, Michaiel emphasizes the healing power of community built through small acts of presence and connection. His message is both practical and soulful: we are all divine beings here to help one another come home — to ourselves and to each other.______________Michaiel Patrick Bovenes - is a metaphysician, published author, spiritual healer, and the founder of Soul-utions -- a revolutionary personal empowerment teaching. His online courses and live events have helped thousands find greater inner strength and personal peace. Since 1991, he has helped people transform their stress into strength and their struggle into greater freedom, confidence, and positive change. Soul-utions is not a religion, it's a conscious relationship with your Soul. Soul-utions focuses on activating your inner power to create the changes you desire by aligning with your true purpose, inner wisdom, and empowered destiny. Find him at https://linktr.ee/michaiel.soul.utions  ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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  • Responding to Injustice & Cruelty - Ian Challis
    How might we meet the realities of cruelty and injustice with a grounded and compassionate Buddhist perspective?Ian Challis suggests that we first acknowledge that witnessing or experiencing cruelty can generate intense emotional responses—anger, grief, fear—and that these reactions are natural.However, Ian encourages us to avoid being overwhelmed or reactive. Instead, he suggests grounding ourselves in awareness and intention, recognizing that our own suffering in the face of cruelty is an opportunity for deeper practice and connection. He emphasizes that avoiding cruelty doesn’t mean turning away from pain—it means engaging with clarity and care.Ian shares several guiding principles and reflections to help us in this effort:Recognize shared suffering: Understand that even those who act cruelly are often driven by their own confusion and suffering.Choose wise response over reactivity: Awareness helps interrupt cycles of violence and retaliation.Practice compassion with boundaries: Being compassionate doesn’t mean accepting harm—it includes protecting oneself and others wisely.Stay connected to values: Respond from a place of love, justice, and mindfulness, even when action is necessary.He also briefly touches on how Buddhist ethics (sīla) and the cultivation of wisdom (paññā) support us in transforming our response to injustice into a path of liberation.______________Ian Challis is a student and teacher in the Insight Tradition of Buddhism. He is a teacher, founding member, and past guiding teacher of Insight Community of the Desert in Palm Springs.Ayya Khema, Leigh Brasington, Narayan Liebenson, Larry Yang, and Arinna Weisman are key teachers who have inspired and illuminated his practice.Serving Queer community is a passion. 2025 marks his co-teaching of the 9th annual Queer retreat at Dhamma Dena Retreat Center with Leslie Booker. He is also a qualified teacher of MBSR, a graduate of Spirit Rock’s Community Dharma Leader teacher training, and was formally invited by Arinna Weisman to teach in the lineage of U Ba Khin and Ruth Denison.Find him at ianchallis.com ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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  • Bringing Our Practice to These Difficult Times - Donald Rothberg
    How can our Buddhist practice make a difference in the face of all the challenges of the modern world?Drawing on his decades of experience as a teacher, activist, and meditator, Donald Rothberg issues an urgent call to integrate the deepest aspects of Buddhist practice with the pressing needs of our time. By uniting meditation, ethics, emotional work, joy, and conscious action, he maps out a path that combines inner development with outward action.The Five Themes of PracticeDonald structures his talk around five essential themes that support a holistic Buddhist path:Bridging Inner and Outer Transformation:Buddhist practice is often internal, but Donald emphasizes its potential to transform society as well. He reminds practitioners that meditation and activism need not be separate and that cycles of inner and outer focus are natural.Ethics as Foundational:Ethics (sila) is a cornerstone of Buddhist training, often overlooked in the West. Donald reimagines ethics as a “commitment to care” and encourages practitioners to see ethical precepts not only as personal guidelines but as vehicles for social justice.Working with Difficult Emotions:Emotions such as fear, anger, and despair are not barriers to practice but rich material for growth. Donald introduces practices like the “truth mandala” to help individuals and communities process collective grief and rage.Nurturing Joy:Amid crises, joy becomes an act of resistance and resilience. Donald illustrates how joy is part of our inner nature and can be cultivated through song, ritual, and community—citing Emma Goldman and Rabbi Nachman as examples.Listening for What Calls You:Rather than trying to solve all the world’s problems, Donald advises identifying one issue that deeply resonates. From there, he suggests taking concrete, manageable steps to become involved, guided by what enlivens us.Donald expands the traditional view of ethics beyond individual behavior to include social responsibility, discussing how community plays a central role in supporting ethical practice. He shares how personal suffering can be transformed into a source of connection and compassion.__________Donald Rothberg, Ph.D., is a member of the Teachers Council at Spirit Rock Center, a guiding teacher for the Marin Sangha in San Rafael, California, and a regular teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, California, Southern Dharma Retreat Center, InsightLA, and New York Insight.He teaches retreats and groups on concentration and insight meditation practice, lovingkindness practice, transforming the judgmental mind, mindful communication, working skillfully with conflict, and socially engaged Buddhism.He has practiced insight meditation since 1976, and has also received training in Tibetan Dzogchen, body-based psychotherapy, and trauma work. He has helped guide many six-month to two-year training programs in socially engaged spirituality, both Buddhist-based and interfaith, and is the author of The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World, and the co-editor of Ken Wilber in Dialogue.Learn more at https://donaldrothberg.com ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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  • Shakespeare Dharma - Matthew Perifano
    How do the works of Shakespeare echo the teachings of the Buddha?In this heartfelt talk, Matthew Perifano reflects on the transformative power of language as he intertwines his lifelong love of Shakespeare with his journey through Buddhism and the AIDS epidemic. He begins by framing the dharma as more than just teachings—truth, practice, and a deep refuge—and connects it to the power of Shakespearean language. Matthew highlights how Shakespeare can evoke profound emotional resonance, citing authors and works like Shakespeare Meets the Buddha and The Buddha and the Bard that mirror Eastern thought. He recounts how one particular quote from Cymbeline has echoed through his life: “All other doubts by time, let them be cleared. Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered.” This quote, and others, become spiritual companions, much like Buddhist texts.He shares personal stories from his past, including his deep involvement with a Shakespeare reading group and its eventual disbanding. Through grief and loss during the AIDS crisis, Matthew found solace in Shakespeare's sonnets, many of which mirrored his emotional landscape. This culminated in the creation of a musical project—A Shakespeare Garden—telling a poignant love story between two young men in 1980s San Francisco, solely through Shakespeare’s words. Matthew sees blank verse as a heartbeat, a meditative rhythm that aligns with Buddhist practice. He closes by reciting stirring lines from The Tempest, capturing impermanence and the dreamlike nature of life, resonating with the first noble truth and the dharma's essence.______________Matthew Perifano (he/him) is a member of the Gay Buddhist Fellowship. He is grateful to be given this opportunity to share his love of Shakespeare and the Dharma with GBF. Shakespeare Dharma recounts his rich and strange journey with Shakespeare that began with a reading group that approached Shakespeare as mind/body practice rather than as theater. Eventually, this reading group would form Birnam Wood Musical Shakespeare Co. and Matthew would discover his facility for setting Shakespeare’s verse to music.As Matthew became more knowledgeable about Buddhist Dharma, he discovered connections between Buddhist teachings and the truth about human nature and human existence to be found in the plays and sonnets of Shakespeare. Certain passages have become like sutras to him which he is happy to share with you. Ultimately, on a most profound level, Shakespeare became a refuge of solace and healing during the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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Buddhism for Liberation and Social Action. We invite teachers from all schools of Buddhism to offer their perspectives on the dharma and its application in modern times, especially for LGBTQIA audiences.Produced by GBF - The Gay Buddhist Fellowship of San Francisco.
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