The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

In this reflection on retreat life, four GBF community members explore how taking time away from our relentless routines, news cycles, and digital devices offers a quiet sanctuary to examine our habits and cultivate genuine peace. 
Rather than an escape, a retreat serves as a vital "laboratory for daily life"—a container where the cloudy, stirred-up waters of our busy minds can finally settle so we can see the deep substrate beneath. By immersing ourselves in extended silence, noble heart practices, and simple daily rituals, we reconnect with a thousands-year-old lineage and experience the profound benefits of collective practice:
Clearing Sensory Overload: Stepping back from constant stimulation allows our habitual mental chatter to quiet down, revealing clearer insights into how our minds work.
Anchoring in Loving-Kindness (Metta): Focusing on simple phrases of goodwill—wishing that all beings be happy, healthy, safe, and free—transforms both sitting and walking meditation into a deep practice of love.
Forging Deep, Silent Community: Sharing quiet meals, silent meditation, and heart-centered connection exercises builds an unseen bond of trust and intimacy across the Sangha without the strain of social performance.
Transforming Everyday Moments: The clarity and patience we cultivate on retreat directly spill over into our ordinary lives, turning everyday delays—like waiting for the bus or sitting in traffic—into opportunities for mindfulness and generosity.
Ultimately, going on retreat gives us a powerful chance to "level up" our practice and return to our daily lives re-energized, softer, and more present. Whether we are chanting ancient Pali verses or engaging in heartfelt group sharing when silence is released, the gifts we receive on retreat naturally ripple out to benefit everyone around us. 
With our upcoming Fall Retreat September 25-27, 2026 featuring teacher Prasadachitta, we have a wonderful opportunity to step back into this transformative space, test these teachings in our own lives, and bring the Dharma vividly to life.
SPEAKERS:
Cass Brayton
Henry Rabinowitz
Matthew Perifano
Tom Bruein
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
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CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

This talk is a preview of the GBF Fall Retreat: Our Belonging to Kindness: Awakening to the World We Carry Together, September 25-27, 2026.
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How do we take ancient, highly analytical Buddhist teachings and make them truly land in our everyday, modern lives?
In this warm and deeply personal talk, Prasadachitta helps us imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of the Buddha, hearing him speak directly to us in language that is easily understood. He invites us to step away from academic perfectionism and instead embrace the Buddha’s “come and see” invitation to experience a colloquial relationship with the Dharma.
Prasadachitta explains that he isn’t concerned with strict historical or translation accuracy. Instead, he feels empowered as a practitioner to make these teachings real in his own life, letting the translated phrases of the Karaniya Metta Sutta shift and be rephrased depending on how they “hit” him, trusting that actual practice will naturally self-correct any misunderstandings. To remind us that the Dharma is built to be accessible, he shares the traditional qualities of teaching from the Dharma Vandana, proving that the truth is always meant to be practical:
Intelligible and Well-Communicated: The Buddha always met people where they were, using everyday language and lived experiences (like those of farmers or kings) so we can actually do something with what is being communicated.
Experienced Here and Now: It is a testable path that we can start practicing and verifying in our lives immediately.
Perennial: Its core truths are timeless, surviving any historical or cultural change.
Open to Investigation (Ehipassiko): It functions as a personal “come and see” invitation rather than a rigid system demanding blind belief.
Progressive: It leads us onward, continuously unpacking new layers of wisdom as we engage with it.
Individually Verifiable: It is ultimately validated through our own direct experience, turning us into the wise ones who know peace for themselves.
With this open-minded, personal approach, Prasadachitta guides us directly into the Karaniya Metta Sutta as a highly practical roadmap for our spiritual growth. Rather than treating its instructions as abstract rules, he encourages us to relate to them through our own physical, lived experiences.
When the sutta asks us to be upright but “flexible,” he illustrates this with a wonderful story about a flight attendant who playfully deputized snack-stealing kids to help her hand out peanuts, transforming a potential moment of conflict into an act of community.
To make the sutta’s famous instruction to love “as a mother cherishes her only child” real for himself, he connects it to his own mother’s “rough” but deep, physical hugs that he can still feel in his body today.
By bringing our own imagination and personal memories into the practice, we learn to cultivate a fierce, boundless goodwill that moves us from everyday “eminence” to spiritual “transcendence”.
Ultimately, Prasadachitta promises that as we rest in this unlimited kindness, we naturally let go of our rigid views, become spontaneously ethical, and experience a quiet, complete sense of freedom.
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Prasadachitta was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Order in 2011 and he became the Chair of the San Francisco Buddhist Center in April 2022. He was born on a “back to the land” commune in rural Northern California and that background has inspired his engagement with others in building the SFBC’s rural meditation center called Dharmadhara. He also helped to establish a community of sangha members who support the retreats there. He supports himself as a documentary filmmaker and photographer but his real life’s work is training others who want to practice Buddhism within the Triratna Buddhist Community.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Eli Talen invites us to examine our endless pursuit of perfection and the exhausting habit of waiting until everything is organized before we allow ourselves to start living. 
We can easily get caught wishing for ideal conditions—whether waiting for smooth traffic, perfect relationships, or orderly cupboards—rather than meeting the messy reality of the present moment. Recalling a phrase from Emily Dickinson, that we "believe and disbelieve a hundred times an hour," Eli explains that this constant back-and-forth doesn't mean we are failing; rather, it keeps our minds flexible and serves as a living, nimble form of faith in an unpredictable world.
To help us step out of the trap of postponing our lives until things are flawless, Eli shares several practical insights for navigating uncertainty with greater heart:
The Buddha’s Earth-Touching Courage: Meeting uncertainty with the humble honesty of the Buddha facing Mara under the Bodhi tree, adopting the spirit of "I don't know how to do this thing called life, and I'm going to do it anyway".
Shifting from Separation to Connection: Moving away from a tight, defensive mindset ("this happened to you") toward a shared, relational heart ("we're in this together"), much like Eli experienced while walking among the fire-scarred trees at Point Reyes.
Relational Mindfulness: Bringing our attention inward when triggered by others—investigating what hurts in us rather than reacting—and gently acknowledging our underlying sadness or fear.
Resting in the Breath: Using the simple process of breathing, as highlighted by teacher Ajahn Sucitto, to feel held and anchored whenever our minds feel chaotic.
Practicing Wise Discernment: Remembering that mindfulness is not about forcing ourselves to endure harmful situations, but exercising discernment to make compassionate choices for ourselves.
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Eli Talen has practiced insight meditation for a couple of decades and has taught meditation in prisons and free communities for the past ten. Mindfulness is for him an innate awakening to the present and a refuge from fear and self-centeredness. He is inspired to engage with others who are open to building faith in the here and now and are oriented toward an ethical care and intimacy with the world. He lives in Berkeley, California, works as a psychotherapist, plays the organ. In prior lives he also served as an attorney and professor of German literature.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we remember that we were created for joy when our minds are busy and our hearts feel weighed down by the world's troubles? 
In this uplifting talk, JD Doyle invites us to explore mudita—traditionally translated as appreciative, altruistic, or relational joy—as one of the four essential heart practices (brahma viharas) in Buddhism. 
Opening with the Persian poet Hafez's poem The Sacred Dance for Life, JD reminds us that joy is not a performance or something we must force, but an inherent capacity of the heart waiting to be uncovered when we step out of our habitual anxiety. Drawing on Thich Nhat Hanh's insight that happiness has the nature of "interbeing," JD emphasizes that mudita is fundamentally relational—shifting us away from the narrow, individualistic "what's in it for me?" mindset and inviting us to take genuine delight in the well-being of others and the world around us.
To help us navigate the mental habits that block this natural warmth, JD breaks down the traditional frameworks and practical obstacles we encounter on the path to joy:
The Measuring Mind: How our constant comparing, ranking, and obsessing over what we lack creates fear and closes the heart to present-moment delight.
The Near Enemy (Exuberance & Frivolity): How bubbling excitement can tip us forward into overconsumption, or how frivolity—as Norman Fischer describes—acts as a superficial attempt to cover up life's inevitable sorrows rather than savoring beauty amidst hardship.
The Far Enemy (Jealousy & Resentment): How envy creates a painful sense of separation, which JD illustrates through a personal story of overcoming resentment when a colleague received a job promotion JD had expected.
"Messy Joy" & Entanglement: Citing "The Book of Delights" by poet Ross Gay, JD highlights that real joy is not separate from heartbreak, but emerges from how we care for one another through suffering—a resilience deeply familiar to the queer community.
Cultivating a "Delight Radar": Practicing gratitude for simple "non-problems" (like a headache-free day or a working toilet) trains our attention so that, as Ross Gay noted, the more we study delight, the more delight there is to study.
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JD Doyle serves as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) and has served as a board member and was the cofounder of the LGBTQI meditation group. JD is a graduate of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center teacher-training program and was in the Dedicated Practitioner Program (DPP2) and the Community Dharma Leader Program (CDL4). JD has practiced Buddhism since 1995 in the U.S., Thailand, and Burma.
For over twenty-five years, they worked as a public school teacher focusing on issues of equity and access. JD holds a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies from Cornell University and a master’s degree in Language and Literacy and Sociocultural Studies from the University of New Mexico. JD identifies as gender non-conforming. They are committed to celebrating the diversity of our human sangha, addressing the impact of racism on our communities, expanding concepts of gender, and living in ways that honor the sacredness of the Earth.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
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 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Ryuko Laura Burges invites us to consider how our words shape our reality and whether they serve as a force for division or healing in a troubled world.
Laura demonstrates the profound weight our speech carries, by drawing on a tender story about giving her hundred-year-old mother permission to let go, as well as an ancient tale of the Sufi weaver-poet Kabir whose gentle prayers calmed a sick child while his sharp words exposed a priest's rage. 
She frames Right Speech—one of the foundational spokes of the Noble Eightfold Path—not as a set of rigid restrictions, but as an encouraging mental guide to ease suffering for ourselves and others. Laura shows us how mindful communication is woven through all ten traditional Buddhist precepts, warning against the subtle ways we can "kill" someone's enthusiasm with harshness, "steal" time through repetitive complaining, or use slander to elevate ourselves above others.
To help us navigate our everyday conversations with greater integrity and compassion, Laura offers a clear roadmap for reflection before we speak. She encourages us to pause and examine our inner motivations, highlighting several key practices for bringing our speech into harmony:
The Four Filters of Speech: Pausing to ask ourselves whether what we are about to say is timely, true, helpful, and kind—noting with a smile that by the time we ask all four questions, it might be too late to say anything, which is often for the best!
The Loving Inner Witness: Extending Right Speech inward by replacing our harsh, judgmental inner narrative with the voice of a supportive friend who guides us with tenderness.
Guarding Our Thoughts: Remembering the ancient teaching from the Dhammapada that thought manifests as the word, the word as the deed, the deed into habit, and habit into character.
By cultivating a mindful pause through meditation, Laura reminds us that we can catch our habitual reactions and choose words that foster connection, ease ragged hearts, and bring genuine peace.
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Ryuko Laura Burges is a lay entrusted dharma teacher in the Soto Zen tradition, teaching and leading retreats in Northern California. A longtime educator, she co-founded the Meditation in Recovery programs at San Francisco Zen Center.
Her books include Wisdom Stories of Tibet (2025), the first volume in a three-part series that will also feature wisdom stories from India and Japan, The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path Out of the Darkness of Addiction (2023), Zen for Kids (2023), and Buddhist Stories for Kids (2022)
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:  
 Donate 
 Learn how to participate live 
 Find our schedule of upcoming speakers 
 Join our mailing list or discussion forum
 Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995
CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter