The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

• The Buddha & Neuroscience - Eve Decker

  When seen with clarity, the dharma sheds light on nearly every aspect of our daily lives. In this highly engaging talk, Eve Decker explores in plain language how Buddhist teachings can help us deal with our daily struggles. By highlighting the intersection of Buddhist wisdom and neuroscience, she shows how ancient teachings align with modern psychological frameworks.Eve emphasizes that the Buddha was, in many ways, a master psychologist—offering insights into suffering, habit formation, and emotional regulation that contemporary science continues to affirm. Eve draws on the work of Dr. Rick Hanson and Dr. Daniel Siegel to illustrate how mindfulness and compassion practices can rewire the brain, and she highlights how Buddhist teachings on awareness, intention, and ethical living are echoed in therapeutic models like Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Polyvagal Theory.Eve also breaks down several key concepts that bridge Dharma and psychology:Neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to change through repeated practice, supporting the Buddhist emphasis on intentional cultivation.Negativity bias – our tendency to focus on threats, which mindfulness helps balance by training attention toward wholesome states.Self-directed neuroplasticity – consciously reinforcing positive traits like gratitude and kindness, a core aim of both Dharma and CBT.Internal Family Systems (IFS) – recognizing and compassionately working with different “parts” of ourselves, much like Buddhist teachings on non-self and multiplicity of mind.Polyvagal Theory – understanding how safety and connection regulate our nervous system, aligning with the Buddhist emphasis on compassion and relational presence.The role of repetition – how consistent practice strengthens beneficial traits, whether through meditation or therapeutic exercises.Throughout the talk, Eve reminds us that transformation is possible—not through force, but through gentle, repeated attention. With warmth and clarity, she shows how both science and spirituality point toward the same truth: we can train the mind toward freedom.______________Eve Decker has been practicing Insight Meditation since 1991, and has taught groups, daylongs, and short retreats since 2006, particularly at Spirit Rock, the East Bay Meditation Center, and elsewhere in the Bay Area. She is a graduate of UC Berkeley and of Spirit Rock’s Path of Engagement and Community Dharma Leader training programs, and has been trained in the Hakomi approach to body-based psychotherapy. Eve is also a singer/songwriter who has combined the power of music and dharma practice. Her most recent CDs are “In: Chants of Mindfulness & Compassion,” and “Awakening Joy - The Music.”Find her at EveDecker.com ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Self Compassion - Walt Opie

  Self-compassion is a vital part of the Buddhist path, especially here in the West. Here, Walt Opie shares personal stories and reflections on how difficult it can be to extend kindness toward ourselves, especially when we’re caught in patterns of self-judgment or perfectionism. Walt emphasizes that self-compassion isn’t selfish—it’s foundational. When we treat ourselves with care and understanding, we’re better able to show up for others and engage with the world from a place of balance and authenticity.Walt also highlights several key practices and perspectives to cultivate self-compassion:Mindful awareness – noticing when we’re being hard on ourselves and gently shifting our inner dialogue.Loving-kindness (Metta) – directing phrases of goodwill inward, not just outward.Common humanity – remembering that suffering and imperfection are part of being human.Letting go of the inner critic – recognizing that harsh self-talk doesn’t lead to growth, but gentle encouragement might.Taking refuge in the Dharma – using the teachings as a source of support and clarity during difficult times.Throughout the talk, Walt reminds us that self-compassion is a skill we can build—not a personality trait we either have or don’t. It’s a practice of returning to ourselves with warmth, patience, and the willingness to be imperfect.______________Walt Opie was introduced to insight meditation in 1993 at Spirit Rock and attended his first residential retreat there in 2005. He is a graduate of both the Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leaders' (CDL4) program and the Sati Center Buddhist Chaplaincy program. Walt is a participant in the current Insight Meditation Society (IMS) Teacher Training program. He leads a monthly sitting group for people in recovery in Berkeley and serves as a volunteer Buddhist facilitator at Solano State Prison in Vacaville. In addition, he is the Executive Director of the Buddhist Pathways Prison Project (BP3). ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Living with Integrity - Steven Tierney

  In this talk, Steven Tierney emphasizes living with integrity as the core of Buddhist practice.He helps us reflect on living a meaningful and compassionate practice that is responsive to our unique life situations while benefitting both ourselves and others.Steven defines integrity as aligning thoughts, words, and actions with core values while living for the benefit of others.Integrity means wholeness and completeness, derived from Latin meaning "whole"Encourages self-reflection and internal alignment with personal valuesMoves us beyond intellectual understanding to embodied practicePractical ApplicationsReplacing to-do lists with "to-feel" lists (focusing on desired feelings rather than tasks)Reducing doom scrolling and social media consumptionPracticing "We Care" - balancing self-care with caring for othersBuddhist Practice in Daily LifeEmphasizing that Buddhist teachings should be verified through lived experiencePromoting engaged Buddhism that flows from contemplative practiceLiving the Bodhisattva vows through everyday interactionsKey ConceptsUpaya (skillful means) - teaching in multiple ways to reach different peopleNimbleness of spirit - knowing when to speak up versus when to listenBeing present and compassionate rather than getting overwhelmed by external eventsSteven concludes by referencing the Buddha's belief in the innate nobility and compassion of all beings, suggesting that negative qualities are learned rather than inherent.______________Steven Tierney (Kai Po Koshin) is a Dharma transmitted teacher in the lineage of Suzuki Roshi. Steven has a new Sangha: Oceans Compassion Sangha and also practices with Gay Buddhist Fellowship, Meditation in Recovery at SFZC, Great Spirit Sangha, SFLGBTQA Sangha, and the Hartford Street Zen Center.Steven believes that we can find wisdom, compassion and awakening wherever good people come together for practice, healing, service and joy. Dr. Tierney is a psychotherapist in private practice and Professor Emeritus in Counseling Psychology at CIIS.He is a Certified Addiction Specialist and has been named a Diplomate in Clinical Mental Health by the American Mental Health Counselors Association. He is also a certified suicide prevention and intervention trainer, providing workshops, classes, and consultations. Steven can be reached at 415-235-1061 or [email protected] ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• The Hard Work of Ethical Conduct - Daigan Gather

  In a world rife with violence and intolerance, how do we embody Buddhist ethical practice that balances compassion, wisdom, and courageous action?When we feel overwhelmed by the state of society, Daigan Gaither suggests focusing on ethical behavior as a foundation for meaningful action. He reminds us that:Buddhist practice comprises three interdependent trainings: ethical conduct (Shīla), concentration (Samādhi), and wisdom (Prajñā).Ethical conduct demands we actively oppose oppression and intolerance rather than remaining neutral.Meditation allows us to explore the lived experience of difficult emotions, allowing them to empower rather than control us.Compassion does not require tolerating harmful behavior; sometimes it means setting boundaries or “loving from a distance.”Sustained engagement requires self-care and community support, guided by the wisdom meditation cultivates.Real-world Buddhist practice involves supporting justice work, educating oneself, and responding appropriately to present circumstances, even if outcomes are uncertain.As we wrestle with the tension between compassion and confronting harm, Daigan encourages us to balance loving kindness with discernment. His dialogue with the sangha further explores how small acts, rooted in ethical intention, collectively contribute to change.______________Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011.Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes.Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• What Might Happen - Laura Burges

  Laura Burges discusses how being present with our fears can help us break the grip they hold over us so we can develop the courage to live openly and compassionately in uncertain times.Finding Buddhist truths in stories from many cultures, Laura explores how fear shows up in our lives, reminding us that fear is universal, often rooted in uncertainty, and can feel overwhelming, especially in today’s unsettled world. She highlights that Buddhism offers tools to recognize and sit with fear rather than avoid it, including the practice of “staying” with fear, which helps us face it fully and find courage in the present moment.Laura also weaves in reflections on bodhicitta—the awakened heart and mind—which invites us to soften rather than harden in the face of life’s challenges. Her overall message is that being present with fear makes it smaller and less paralyzing, using life's uncertainty and loss to help us awaken.______________Ryuko Laura Burges is a lay entrusted dharma teacher in the Soto Zen tradition, teaching and leading retreats in Northern California. A longtime educator, she co-founded the Meditation in Recovery programs at San Francisco Zen Center.Her books include Wisdom Stories of Tibet (2025), the first volume in a three-part series that will also feature wisdom stories from India and Japan, The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path Out of the Darkness of Addiction (2023), Zen for Kids (2023), and Buddhist Stories for Kids (2022) ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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