Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

• Christine: A Bittersweet Reunion

  Christine is an adoptee born in January of 1972, at the tail end of the baby scoop era. She was adopted in March of that year through Catholic Family Charities. Her mother had bought a book that explained how a family adopts a child in a very simplistic way. In fact, until the age of seven, she thought that all children were adopted. It wasn’t until a friend’s mother got pregnant that she realized there was another way to have a baby. Her mother explained to her that she was special—that she was chosen.Growing up, the subject of her adoption was not spoken of in her household. She had been told at a young age that she was her parents’ child and that they would not discuss the matter of her adoption. She rarely told anyone about it, not even her closest friends. Christine never searched for her birth family. She knew it would make her parents unhappy and was scared about what she might find out. As they got older, her children’s curiosity about their actual ethnicity led her to Ancestry DNA. Two years later, after receiving the results, Christine received an email through Ancestry. It stated, “I believe that you are my niece. That would be so wonderful.”The next few months were a process of meeting her birth mother, Pat, two half-brothers, and her maternal birth family. She found out that Pat was 16 when she got pregnant. She had been sent to a home for unwed mothers and gave birth to Christine two weeks after her 17th birthday. Pat was supposed to relinquish her parental rights after Christine’s birth but refused to do so. Christine was placed in foster care for two months until Pat realized it was a losing battle and signed the relinquishment papers. For years, Pat slept with Christine’s picture under her pillow.Christine and Pat had the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. They were developing a relationship when Pat succumbed to cancer, only 18 months after their reunion. Christine remains in contact with her brothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins.Today, Christine lives in Connecticut with her partner, Rob. Between them, they are fortunate to share four boys and a girl. She holds a Doctorate of Nursing Practice and works as a full-time Professor of Nursing.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Angela: You Should Be Grateful. Season 9 Finale

  Angela Tucker is a Black transracial adoptee and the author of "You Should Be Grateful:" Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption, published in April 2023 by Beacon Press. Her search for her biological family was featured in the documentary CLOSURE, which premiered on Netflix in 2015. In 2022, Angela founded the non-profit Adoptee Mentoring Society, offering virtual mentorship for adoptees worldwide. With 15 years of experience in child welfare, she has appeared on CNN, Red Table Talk, The New Yorker, and more, advocating for adoptees.When she's not working to amplify adoptee voices, you can find her at the spa, on the basketball court, or hostessing at Jazz Alley. She drinks a London Fog nearly every single day, and is currently debating the importance of kicking this sugary (but, oh-so-delicious) habit. Angela lives in Seattle, Washington with her Emmy Award-winning spouse, Bryan Tucker.To find Angela: https://www.angelatucker.com/You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryOur Next Book: Season 10 : The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawJoe Soll & other adoptee resourcesFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupReckoning with the Primal Wound DocumentaryDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementHiraeth Hope & HealingMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Santo: The Journey to Belong

  Dr. Santo D. Marabella, born in a Catholic orphanage in Aosta, Italy, and flown to the United States just one week shy of his first birthday, was one of over 3700 Italian-born children adopted by Italian American parents between 1951 and 1969. Known as the “Baby Scoop” era, tens of thousands of Italian unwed mothers were forced to give their children up for adoption, leaving behind generations of children devastated by their perceived abandonment.Though he was the treasured only child of his adoptive parents, Santo was bullied by his peers and struggled from an early age to fit in and connect with others. Growing up, the realization that he was gay further deepened this isolation, straining his relationship with the Church to which he was so dedicated and the parents he so loved (though his parents’ acceptance came quickly). Despite self-doubt and fear, he refused to be stopped. He tried harder and achieved more, carving out a life as a caregiver, educator, writer, and artist. But he was still on the outside. In this episode, Santo talks about his “journey to belonging” that he recently embarked on and where it is taking him!Il Mio Posto A Tavola - (My Place at The Table) -Documentary by Santo D. MarabellaYou Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryOur Next Book: The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, April 12th @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Sharla: For This Adoptee, the Truth Came Later

  Placed for adoption through a West Texas county children’s home, Sharla is a “Baby Scoop”-era adoptee. Sharla’s biological mother moved across the state to live with her older sister and family until the time of Sharla’s birth. On the day Sharla was born, a married couple who applied to adopt was contacted. Several days later, with their 9-year-old son in tow, they drove an hour to come for her at the children’s home. She grew up in a fairly typical family and home. Always having known she was adopted, as is often the narrative, she has no memory of ever being told. The subject was never discussed, although she did know her parents had NonID information and an “adoption papers” folder. For the majority of her life, her adoption didn’t seem important to her or anyone else. In 2019, the secrets and undisclosed information of the past 51 years suddenly began to come to light. Unbeknownst to Sharla, her 23andMe DNA kit would soon reveal a close relative via an email. Suddenly, she could decide if she wanted to know the truth about her biological heritage. She later expressed to her husband that in all the years she had said it didn’t matter to her, that was true. However, she explained that when you spend decades believing there’s no way to ever learn the truth, you may convince yourself that it’s not important. With the encouragement of her husband and children, she is building new relationships. She has also enjoyed a long-overdue, warm, and loving reunion with her maternal aunt, who initially considered adopting her and was there to see her the day she was born. Despite some rejection along the way, loving and seeking out people and relationships hasn’t become any less of a priority for Sharla. This 5-year journey has helped her recognize how being adopted didn’t define her, but it has shaped and affected her. She is a recovering people-pleaser, has begun to realize that it is not her role to make everything and everyone okay, and is currently finding peace with the “what-ifs."You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Rebeccah: From Self-Discovery to Healing.

  Rebeccah Carlson is a transracial adoptee born in Georgia and raised in the Midwest. Growing up, she often felt a sense of disenfranchised grief and longed for information about her origins. In her late twenties, Rebeccah began a journey of self-discovery which led to reunion with her birth family. This experience helped start the process of mending her fractured identity and deepened her understanding of the broader realities of adoption.Since then, Rebeccah has found greater healing by publicly sharing her story with others. From podcasts to news articles, Rebeccah has openly explored her lived experience in effort to grow, recover, and transform. Her mission is to create space for authentic conversations related to adoption, identity, and belonging, ensuring other adoptees feel validated in their unique journeys. Rebeccah has also enjoyed volunteering for adoption-related causes, most recently ending her multi-year tenure as Board Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker Closure - Angela Tucker DocumentaryJOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!Leave your email for more info!Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, March 1st @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for AdopteesS12F Helping AdopteesAdoptee Mentoring SocietyJeff Forney - Innocent People ProjectGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateUnraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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