Neuroshambles

• How autistic is your child? | Kieran Rose

  This week, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Kieran Rose, AKA The Autistic Advocate – writer, educator, and parent of three neurodivergent children. Together, they take a deep (and sometimes uncomfortable) dive into one of the most contentious topics in neurodiversity parenting: labels. What do we mean when we describe someone as “severely autistic”? Why is it so hard to explain what being autistic actually means? And how useful (or harmful) are terms like high-functioning, low-functioning, profound autism, or even Asperger’s? In a wide-ranging and compassionate chat, Mark and Kieran explore how complex, deeply personal and often contradictory this topic is - both for parents and for autistic people themselves. What starts as a provocative question ends up as a fascinating conversation about diagnosis, co-occurring conditions, identity, education, eugenics, power, and prejudice. Not one to miss. Make a cuppa, maybe two - this one’s long. But worth it. 📍 CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro: Meet Kieran Rose 04:30 - Life in a Fully Neurodivergent Household 08:00 - Topic of the Week: How Autistic Is Your Child? 12:00 - Labels, Bias, and the Stigma Around Autism 18:00 - High vs Low Functioning: Where It Comes From 23:00 - What Even Is Autism? 28:30 - The Flawed Legacy of Asperger’s 35:00 - Identity vs Diagnosis 42:00 - DSM-5 Levels of Autism: Why They Don’t Work 49:00 - Profound Autism and The New York Times Article 55:00 - A Counterpoint: The Voices We Don’t Hear 1:00:00 - Co-occurring Conditions and the Real Source of Needs 1:07:00 - Clinical Labels vs Lived Experience 1:14:00 - Mark’s Imposter Syndrome as an Autism Parent 1:18:00 - What’s the Alternative? 1:23:00 - Final Thoughts: Humanising, Not Diagnosing 1:27:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:39:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:43:00 - Wrap-up & Where to Find Us 🔗 LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Kieran Rose website - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ Eugenics - https://www.newscientist.com/definition/eugenics/ Asperger Syndrome - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/the-history-of-autism/asperger-syndrome Hans Asperger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger Lorna Wing - https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/lorna-wing-an-autism-hero DSM-5 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5 PDF Download of DSM-5 - https://ia800707.us.archive.org/15/items/info_munsha_DSM5/DSM-5.pdf New York Times article: The Autism Spectrum Is Too Broad - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/opinion/autism-diagnosis-category-stigma.html Greta Thunberg - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49918719 What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Ehlers Danlos Syndromes - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/ Communication First - https://communicationfirst.org/ Autism Central - https://www.autismcentral.org.uk/ Kieran Rose Animated Guide to Monotropism - https://youtu.be/qUFDAevkd3E?si=diwlbe4AHRcxfjQF Kieran Rose Animated Guide to The Double Empathy Problem - https://youtu.be/qpXwYD9bGyU?si=7bnGR2UsrCgLa_hL   KIERAN'S HOMEWORK Kieran Rose Blog: Autism, it’s Labels and the Language of Pathologising Rhetoric - https://theautisticadvocate.com/autism-its-labels-and-the-language-of-pathologising-rhetoric/ Sunday Times article: Extra time in exams ‘unhealthy’ for children with ADHD and autism - https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/extra-time-exams-unhealthy-children-adhd-autism-k820s56zh TES magazine article: Sami Timimi: Why ‘invented’ SEND labels are disabling pupils - https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/sami-timimi-interview-problems-with-send-diagnosis-adhd-autism Yahoo News: Badenoch says motability cars not for people with ADHD - https://uk.news.yahoo.com/badenoch-motability-cars-not-people-135341300.html?guccounter=1 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

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• Kids refusing medical help | Michelle Parton

  This week, Mark is joined by Michelle Parton – a long-time Neuroshambles listener and parent of two neurodivergent children. They explore one of the more baffling challenges of raising our kids: why do so many of them flat-out refuse medical assistance? From hiding lava lamp injuries to meltdown-inducing blood tests, Mark and Michelle swap tales of their kids’ iron-willed resistance to all forms of treatment – even when they’re clearly in pain, bleeding, or itching uncontrollably. Together, they explore the many reasons this might be happening – from sensory issues and PDA to past trauma, masking, and a fundamental lack of trust in strangers in latex gloves. It’s funny, cathartic, at times heartbreaking – definitely one for anyone who’s ever tried (and failed) to administer Calpol to a deeply suspicious neurodifferent child. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Michelle Parton 03:00 – Topic of the Week: Refusing Medical Help 08:00 – Kids hiding injuries 13:00 – Dysregulation about the prospect of going to the doctor 17:30 – Trust issues with medical professionals 23:00 – Lyme disease and the unholy nightmare of blood tests 29:00 – Trying to administer medication 35:00 – The impact of sensory overwhelm: Plasters, creams & the taste of medication 42:00 – The added complication with PDA kids 47:00 – The role that masking might play 54:00 – How alexithymia and interoception can influence things 59:00 – The impact of past traumatic experiences 1:04:00 – The positives 1:06:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:10:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – “What the Flip?” moments 1:18:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Lyme Disease - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/lyme-disease/ Alexithymia - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg4ky5qgrlpo Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing Beyond Creative Education - https://www.beyondcreativeeducation.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

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• Difficulty with transitions - Part 2 | Pete Wharmby

  In part two of this deep dive into transitions, Mark reunites with author, trainer, and neurodiversity advocate Pete Wharmby to look at more reasons they can cause such a monumental challenge for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). From difficulties pulling our kids away from screen-time and replacing a broken fridge, to the regular flashpoint of brushing teeth, Mark and Pete share real-life strategies that can make these transitions more manageable - or at the very least a bit more fun. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome back and reintroducing Pete Wharmby 02:30 - Recap of what we covered in episode 45 and why transitions affect all neurodivergent kids 06:10 - Screen time, flow states and Pete's oil tanker analogy 16:45 - The role that monotropism plays in transitions 27:00 - Strategies: lead-In Times, choice and routines 36:40 - Understanding how PDA affects transitions and why it’s not just defiance 46:00 - Strategies for control-driven transitions (e.g. declarative language) 55:30 - Difficulty throwing stuff away: fridges, crocs and clinging to familiarity 1:04:30 - Schools as the perfect storm of transitional triggers 1:15:20 - The positives 1:18:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:20:40 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:23:15 - "What the flip?" moments 1:26:00 - Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Last One Laughing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOL:_Last_One_Laughing_UK Ausome Training, Cothu course - https://ausometraining.com/cothu-with-pete-wharmby Declarative language - https://lifeskillsadvocate.com/blog/declarative-language-for-neurodivergent-communicators/ Anna Freud - https://www.annafreud.org/ Georgia Pavlopoulou (LinkedIn) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-georgia-pavlopoulou-651a042a Neuro Nook Storytime - https://www.neuronookstorytime.com/ Bedknobs and Broomsticks - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedknobs_and_Broomsticks Silksong - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Knight:_Silksong ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay

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• Difficulty with transitions - Part 1 | Pete Wharmby

  This episode of Neuroshambles, will resonate will all parents of neurodifferent kids, as Mark discusses difficulties with transition with the wonderful autism advocate, Pete Wharmby. Together, they delve into the messy, stressful, and often misunderstood world of transitions – from seemingly small everyday routines to major life changes. Whether it’s leaving the house, going into school, or prying them away from screen time, transitions can often be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). But why exactly are they so hard – and what can we do to ease the load? This is a funny, heartfelt, and cathartic episode full of insight, compassion and practical suggestions, as well as a much-needed sense of solidarity for anyone who’s ever dreaded their kids being invited to a birthday party. — CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro and why this is only part one 03:30 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby 12:00 – Transitions: What they are and why they’re so difficult 19:00 – Fear of the unknown 25:00 – Why birthday parties can be so anxiety-inducing 32:00 – Strategies for smoother transitions to the unknown 40:00 – School and powerlessness 48:00 – Holidays, Google Earth and visual planning 55:00 – Fear of the Known: Why school can feel like a punishment 1:03:00 – Processing struggles and instruction overload 1:13:00 – Fixable triggers and simple (free) accommodations 1:20:00 – The double-edged sword of hyperfocus 1:24:00 – Neurodiversity Champion: Fight For Ordinary 1:26:30 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:29:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:33:00 – Wrap-up and tease for part 2 — LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ Fight for Ordinary - https://disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk/fight-for-ordinary/ Google Maps Street View - https://www.google.com/streetview/ Google Earth - https://earth.google.com/web/ Ordnance Survey Maps - https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/ Albion In The Community - https://bhafcfoundation.org.uk/ Monotropism and Autism Theory - https://monotropism.org/ Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing — CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles — CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

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• Managing the work/shambles balance | Mark Holborow

  In this episode of Neuroshambles, Mark Allen is joined by devoted dad and fellow Neuroshambler Mark Holborow, for a refreshingly honest look at the difficulties of holding down a job, while raising neurodivergent kids and trying (often unsuccessfully) to keep those two worlds from colliding. They discuss naked Zoom call interruptions and the emotional labour of school drop-offs, as well as the guilt, the resilience, and the accidental skillsets parents of ND kids develop. It’s a cathartic, relatable deep dive into the realities of navigating employment when your home life is anything but typical – with plenty of laughs, rants, and candid talk about autism, ADHD, PDA and neurodivergent parenting. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Listener Survey Feedback 05:30 – Meet the Guest: Mark Holborough 10:00 – The Challenges of working parents 16:30 – Working from Home with neurodifferent Kids 25:00 – Background chaos, interruptions and client calls 33:00 – The emotional guilt of being the breadwinner 40:00 – Supporting the non-working Parent 53:00 – How open can you be at work? 1:00:00 – Hiding a child at work: Real life stories 1:07:00 – Why parents of neuro-exceptional kids make great employees 1:13:00 – The economic cost of caring 1:26:00 – The Positives 1:29:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:37:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:41:00 – Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Neuroshambles Listener Survey: https://forms.gle/2wFVupe4HumCYym6A LSE Report – The Economic Case for Prioritising Autism in Policy and Reform: http://lse.ac.uk/cpec/assets/documents/Autismeconomics.pdf The Sunflower Alliance – raising awareness of hidden disabilities: https://hdsunflower.com/ BUPA Medical Insurance: https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance-ppc-b  ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

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