Oh Crap with Jamie

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about govern, garden, guide — especially from parents worried they already messed it up.
So let’s clear the air.
In this episode, I explain:
Where the govern, garden, guide concept comes from

What “govern” really means in the 0–6 years

Why leadership (not control) creates safety

How permissive parenting sneaks in — and why it feels good

Why kids don’t trust inconsistent boundaries

What to do if you didn’t govern early

Why the pendulum has to swing before it can settle

How boundaries actually work (and what they are not)

Why repeating yourself erodes trust

How to stop going “psycho” as a parent

Why kids push harder when leadership is unclear

How routines, rules, and boundaries work together

Why it’s never too late — but it will be uncomfortable

This episode is a reminder that:
Parenting isn’t about perfection

Kids don’t need you to be gentle — they need you to be steady

Boundaries aren’t about control, they’re about safety

And leadership is an act of love

You didn’t ruin your kid.
But if you’ve been too permissive, you’re going to have to get uncomfortable for a while.
That’s how trust gets rebuilt.
As always — put your phone down, rock on, and have a beautiful day.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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When kids are dramatic, hurt, angry, or emotionally flooded, our instinct is often to shut it down with logic.
“It’s not that bad.”
“You’re fine.”
“Stop overreacting.”
In this episode, I explain why that backfires — and why leaning in to big feelings actually helps kids regulate faster.
We talk about:
How kids borrow our nervous systems

Why minimizing emotions makes them persist

The power of exaggeration and humor

How going into your child’s emotional world brings them back

Why adult logic doesn’t work in emotional states

The difference between leaning in vs. matching a tantrum

When to lean in — and when to stay calm and quiet

How functional freeze shows up in parents

Why listening to too many experts disconnects us from intuition

How leaning in builds trust, connection, and repair

This episode is a reminder that:
You don’t need perfect words.
You don’t need a script.
And you don’t need to fix your child’s feelings.
You just need to be with them.
As always — put your phone down, rock on, and have a beautiful day.

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⁠Jamie's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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If you feel exhausted, resentful, or like life is just one endless list of things to get through — this episode is for you.
In this conversation, I explore why modern parents are burning out not just because life is hard — but because we’re resisting the very things that make up a life.
Using the Zen concept chop wood, carry water, we talk about how the mundane tasks — dinner, laundry, dishes, routines — are not problems to solve, but realities to inhabit.
We cover:
Why the “finish line” is a lie

How resisting daily responsibilities creates resentment

Why hustle and optimization are making parenting worse

How creating a vibe changes everything

Why lighting, music, ritual, and presence matter more than outcomes

How multitasking and phone use dysregulate parents and kids

Why single-tasking calms the nervous system

How gratitude for the basics shifts your internal state

Why perfectionism is a nervous system issue, not a standard

How to strip away what’s actually frying you

This episode is not about doing more.
It’s about doing less fighting with your own life.
The magic isn’t in the big moments.
It’s in the boring stitches that hold everything together.
As always — rock on, put your phone down, and thank you for being here.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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This episode is me saying the quiet part out loud.
If you are overwhelmed, overstimulated, exhausted, reactive, or feel like you’re constantly one second away from losing your shit — this is not a discipline problem, a strategy problem, or a “try harder” problem.
It’s a nervous system problem.
And it’s everything.
In this episode, I explain plainly what I’ve been circling around for a long time:
I can’t give you parenting advice if your nervous system is fried. None of it will stick.
We talk about:
Why your kids borrow your nervous system (and what that actually means)

Why co-regulation isn’t a buzzword — it’s biology

How phones and social media are the most dysregulating force in modern parenting

Why scrolling feels relaxing but actually makes things worse

The myth that regulation is a “look” or a calm voice

Why fake calm backfires with kids

Overstimulation, clinginess, and “up your ass” behavior

Why boredom, slowing down, and doing less actually helps

What happens when parents refuse to change anything but still want relief

The difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting

Why this all depends — and why there is no universal solution

This isn’t about being zen.
You’re still going to lose your patience.
You’re still going to yell sometimes.
You’re still human.
This is about stripping away what’s frying your system so you can show up grounded enough to handle the chaos.
You are the expert on your child.
I’m just offering a buffet.
Take what works. Leave what doesn’t.
As always — rock on, put your phone down, and have a beautiful day.

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⁠Jamie's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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In this episode, I sit down with Katherine from Moms Off the Record for an honest, unscripted conversation about how parenting changed so drastically - and why so many parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, and burnt out.
This isn’t advice.
It’s not a how-to.
And it’s definitely not prescriptive.
It’s two moms from different generations trying to understand how parenting got so complicated — and how we might loosen our grip without losing our minds.
We talk about:
How Gen X and Millennial parenting philosophies diverged

Risk aversion, safety culture, and why kids aren’t allowed to fall anymore

Playground helicoptering and why kids end up “up our asses”

The illusion that we can keep kids 100% safe

How fear, guilt, and surveillance culture fuel burnout

Why boredom, discomfort, and small risks matter

The loss of creativity, independence, and community

Late-stage capitalism and hyper-individualized parenting

Why “core memories” are overrated and connection isn’t

We’re not trying to solve parenting.
We’re trying to understand what changed - and where we still have agency.
If you’ve ever felt like:
Parenting shouldn’t feel this hard

You’re doing too much but don’t know how to stop

You’re exhausted by constant vigilance

Or you’re quietly wondering if we lost the plot somewhere

This conversation is for you.
As always - rock on, put your phone down, and have an awesome day.

Connect with Kat: https://www.instagram.com/momsofftherecordpod/

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⁠Jamie's Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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