2 Pastors and a Mic

In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, Cory and Channock talk about our tendency to fix people, give advice they never asked for, and become more invested in someone’s growth than they are.

They also talk about the deeper things that can be hiding underneath our desire to help. What happens when being needed becomes part of our identity? Are we actually offering something to another person, or are we trying to produce an outcome for them?

00:00 - Welcome to the Podcast
02:18 - Why Do We Feel Responsible for Fixing People?
03:52 - Why Is It So Hard to Watch People Struggle?
06:23 - Learning to Have Fewer Opinions
07:41 - When You Want to Coach Everyone
08:52 - What Happens When People Ignore Your Advice?
09:47 - What Do You Need From Me?
12:05 - Are You More Invested in Their Growth Than They Are?
13:40 - You Can’t Do the Work for Someone Else
15:45 - The Addiction to Being Needed
17:21 - Jesus Didn’t Chase People
19:24 - Jesus Didn’t Need to Be Needed
20:54 - Three Questions Before You Try to Help
21:39 - Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice
24:40 - This Week’s Challenge: Don’t Give Advice
25:10 - You Are Loved

In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, Cory and Channock talk about where our fear of disappointing people comes from, why someone else’s disappointment can make us feel like we’ve done something wrong, and how much of our lives can be spent trying to manage other people’s reactions.

They also talk about the pressure many Christians carry to keep God from being disappointed in them—and why they believe it’s impossible to disappoint a God who already knows us completely.

00:00 - Welcome to the Podcast
01:39 - Why Is Disappointment So Hard?
02:44 - Who Are You Most Afraid of Disappointing?
03:04 - Expectancy vs. Expectation
05:25 - The Fear of Disappointing Ourselves
09:55 - What Happens When Someone Is Disappointed in You?
10:57 - Our Knee-Jerk Reactions to Disappointment
11:59 - Why Does Disappointment Feel Like We Did Something Wrong?
12:41 - Can We Disappoint God?
13:34 - What Happens When We’re Trying Not to Disappoint God?
13:49 - Are You Managing Everyone Else’s Reactions?
14:49 - How Fear of Disappointment Shapes Our Decisions
15:23 - Have You Changed a Decision to Avoid Disappointing Someone?
20:32 - How Many People Did Jesus Disappoint?
22:11 - Emotional Health Sometimes Disappoints People
22:21 - When Love Requires a Boundary
23:22 - Whose Disappointment Are You Trying to Avoid?
23:31 - What Is It Costing You?
23:46 - Let People Be Disappointed
25:01 - God Is Never Disappointed in You

In this episode of Two Pastors and a Mic, we talk about the difference between being hurt and living offended, why certain criticisms affect us more than others, and the stories we often attach to someone else’s behavior. We also look at the life of Jesus—someone who was misunderstood, criticized, rejected, falsely accused, and abandoned, yet never seemed consumed with defending himself or repairing his reputation.
What would change if you didn’t need everyone to understand you correctly in order to know who you are?
00:00 - Welcome to the Podcast
01:07 - Living the 2:6 Life
01:36 - Why Was Jesus So Hard to Offend?
03:44 - What Offends Us More Than It Should?
08:54 - What Criticism Gets Under Your Skin?
12:02 - Being Hurt vs. Being Offended
12:20 - The Stories We Tell Ourselves
13:00 - What Criticism Is Hardest to Hear?
15:13 - Disliked or Disrespected?
17:18 - Why Was Jesus So Hard to Offend?
19:18 - Offense Might Be More About Us
20:11 - Jesus Didn’t Defend His Reputation
22:32 - Jesus Let People Walk Away
23:50 - Being Hurt vs. Living Hurt
24:02 - Do You Need People to See You Correctly?
24:50 - A Practice for Handling Offense
26:27 - Final Thoughts: Knowing Who You Are

In Episode 291 of Two Pastors and a Mic, Cory and Channock continue the conversation around changing our minds, being wrong, and what happens when the people we love don’t change with us.

They talk about why we often assume more people think like us than actually do, why certain people’s disagreement affects us more than others, and how our need for validation can hide underneath our need to convince someone that we’re right.

They also explore the connection between agreement and belonging, why disagreement can feel like rejection, how political and theological differences can strain relationships, and what it looks like to stay connected without requiring someone else to see the world exactly the way we do.

00:00 - Welcome to Episode 291
02:13 - Why Do I Need You to Think I’m Right?
03:14 - The False Consensus Effect
04:31 - We Assume More People Think Like Us
06:41 - When Someone Close to You Disagrees
07:33 - Whose Disagreement Bothers You Most?
09:18 - When a Friend’s Disagreement Hits Different
10:50 - Learning to Live With Theological Tension
12:03 - Why One Person’s Disagreement Can Wreck Your Day
12:48 - Social Verification & the Need for Validation
15:03 - Why Disagreement Can Feel Like Rejection
15:59 - When Did Agreement Become Connected to Belonging?
17:12 - What’s Harder: Changing or Watching Others Stay the Same?
20:10 - Losing Friendships Over Politics
20:33 - Does Relationship Require Agreement?
21:40 - What Do We Actually Disagree About?
23:20 - Friendship Can Survive Disagreement
26:22 - Where Do You Need to Stop Needing Agreement?
26:31 - The Challenge: Let a Disagreement Stay Unresolved
27:18 - Choosing Relationship Over Agreement

In Episode 290 of Two Pastors and a Mic, Cory and Channock continue their conversation from last week by exploring what’s underneath our need to be right. They talk about why admitting we’re wrong can feel so uncomfortable, how church culture can turn certainty into a measure of faithfulness, and why disagreement doesn’t have to lead to disrespect or disconnection.

They also unpack research on intellectual humility and why people who are willing to consider that they could be wrong are often more curious, more open to opposing evidence, and more capable of maintaining relationships with people who see the world differently.

The goal isn’t to stop having convictions. It’s learning to hold those convictions without needing everyone else to agree with us.

00:00 - Welcome to Episode 290
01:27 - Why Do We Care So Much About Being Right?
02:11 - What Are We Really Protecting?
04:54 - When You Can Feel Yourself Needing to Win
06:22 - Would You Change Your Mind If You Had To?
08:19 - What Does Being Right Give Us?
10:18 - What Does Being Wrong Make Us Feel?
11:18 - When Being Wrong Feels Threatening
14:35 - Letting People Believe Differently
17:11 - When Being Wrong Becomes a Spiritual Issue
19:51 - When Certainty Becomes Faithfulness
20:01 - Why Does Disagreement Become Disrespect?
20:52 - Can You Respect Someone You Think Is Wrong?
22:58 - What Research Says About Intellectual Humility
24:06 - The Problem With Staying in Our Own Camps
25:18 - Rapid-Fire Questions About Being Wrong
27:38 - Who Changed Your Mind Without Fighting You?
30:04 - Ask One More Question
31:59 - What’s That to You?