Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

• Why Modern Life Doesn't Make Us Happy, and How to Fix It with Dr. William von Hippel

  Life today is safer and more comfortable than ever before, so why do so many people feel unhappy, lonely, and anxious? Forrest talks with evolutionary psychologist Dr. William von Hippel about this paradox in light of our two core needs: autonomy and connection. He argues that modern life has pushed us too far in the direction of autonomy, and that we need to reclaim connection in order to find happiness.  They discuss how our evolutionary past shaped our needs for autonomy and connection, the tension between them, and why social connection matters so much for our well-being. They also touch on gender and cultural differences, common misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology, and what people can do to create more balanced and connected lives today. About our Guest: Dr. William von Hippel is an evolutionary psychologist and former professor at the University of Queensland. He has authored over 150 scientific publications including his books The Social Leap and The Social Paradox. Key Topics: 0:00: Why hasn’t modern life made us happier? 3:20: The evolution of autonomy and connection 10:15: How modern life favors autonomy over connection 18:10: “Sad success stories,” and the cost of competence 20:00: Competence vs warmth as social signals 26:00: Evolutionary mismatch, and its impact on well-being 29:00: How to understand evolutionary psychology 34:00: Evolved gender differences in autonomy and connection 42:00: Balancing sociocultural and evolutionary differences 49:00: What do those gender differences look like in practice? 55:50: Finding a healthy balance between autonomy and connection 1:08:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Rethinking Masculinity: Strength and Connection w/ Terry and Justin Real

  Forrest is joined by renowned therapist Terry Real and his son Justin for a frank exploration of modern masculinity. They talk about why so many men feel like they’re struggling these days, and how the traditional model of masculinity perpetuates this problem. They discuss the appeal of red pill cultures, the cultural pushback against gender equality, and how to convince men that the answer is not more dominance but more connection. Other topics include emotional intelligence, creating fulfilling relationships, and how men can claim a healthier understanding of strength. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Terry on patriarchy and male disconnection 7:56: Justin on being raised in an emotionally aware environment 11:34: The problem of male invulnerability 14:35: What do women actually want? 18:10: Strength, relationality, and loving power 27:50: Common patterns in therapy 35:20: The performance of masculinity 49:01: Parenting, gender literacy, and fatherhood 52:10: Selling this to men, and the need for new models 59:48: Recap Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:07:49
• Self-Sabotage: Why You Do What You Shouldn’t, and How to Stop

  We’ve all had moments where we watch ourselves make the exact wrong choice: procrastinating on an important task, picking a fight in a good relationship, or pulling back just when things are starting to go well. This is self-sabotage, and in this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we do it and how to stop. They talk about how self-sabotage often serves as a form of psychological self-protection, and why doing well can feel like a threat to our identity, before discussing avoidance coping, the conflict between aspects of who we are, and why we stay safe rather than stepping forward. Along the way, they offer practical strategies for updating outdated internal models, working with different parts of ourselves, and building the inner resources that make real change possible. Change Your Mind with Rick: Learn how to break old patterns and change the thoughts that keep you stuck with Rick’s six-week online course on the science of changing your mind. Learn more at RickHanson.com/changing and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: What is self-sabotage, really? 6:10: Why self-sabotage is often a form of protection 10:20: Avoidance coping and the logic of “safe failure” 14:40: The identity cost of doing well 18:55: Internal conflict and the parts model 26:15: Challenge vs. threat: how the brain evaluates risk 32:05: Real-life examples of self-sabotage 37:30: How to begin working with self-sabotaging parts 45:45: Working with self-destructive parts 51:10: Creating safer conditions for growth 57:25: Building a feedback loop that reinforces trust 1:02:40: Recap and additional take-aways Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:15:12
• Terry Real: Relationships, Trauma, and Inner Child Work

  What gets in the way of truly intimate, healthy relationships…and what can we do about it? In this moving episode, Forrest is joined by renowned couples therapist Terry Real to explore how we can build deeper, more meaningful connections. They unpack key concepts from Relational Life Therapy, including the shift from “me” to “us,” the difference between the adaptive child and wise adult, and how to stay grounded during conflict through relational mindfulness. Terry explains how individualism and patriarchal conditioning fuel disconnection, and how therapy can help couples move from power struggles to true collaboration. A highlight of the episode is a live experiential process, where Terry guides Forrest through some inner child work. About our Guest: Terry Real is a family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author known for his groundbreaking work on men, masculinity, and relationships. He is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and the author of several books including The New Rules of Marriage and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  1:34: Systemic thinking in therapy, and the cultural forces that shape relationships 9:00: RLT and confrontation in therapy 12:58: The Adaptive Child, Wise Adult, and how internal parts shape how we relate 17:13: Relational mindfulness, and moving from 'me' to 'us' 27:12: Fierce intimacy: why telling the truth is more loving than being “nice” 30:16: Psychological patriarchy, and how it ruins our relationships 43:28: Experiential process: Terry guides Forrest through inner child work 54:07: How patriarchal norms distort emotional connection for men 1:06:24: Recap Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:19:54
• OCD and Anxiety Disorders with Kimberley Quinlan

  Forrest is joined by therapist Kimberley Quinlan to explore one of the most misunderstood anxiety disorders: obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Drawing from her clinical and personal experience, Kimberley breaks down what OCD is, how it differs from general anxiety, and the ways it’s often mischaracterized. They discuss the core features of obsessions and compulsions, and how these can manifest across a wide range of themes, including harm, contamination, morality, and relationships. Kimberley explains how Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) works, what makes an exposure “good,” and how to build tolerance for distress rather than trying to eliminate it. They also touch on self-compassion, the role of medication, and the stigmas that can keep people from getting help. About our Guest: Kimberley Quinlan is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, host of the popular Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, and the founder of CBTschool.com. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:19: Kimberley’s personal experience with OCD 3:36: What is OCD? Obsessions vs. compulsions 8:18: The relationship between trauma (PTSD) and OCD in Kimberley’s experience 11:12: ERP and approaches to treatment 17:14: Differences between clinical ERP and informal exposure practices 24:30: Imaginal exposures for fears that can’t be physically enacted 28:52: Resourcing for exposure 30:26: What if exposure goes poorly?  34:38: Role of self-compassion in OCD treatment 37:02: Considering medication: benefits, stigma, and SSRIs 42:52: Unhooking from intrusive thoughts: ACT, mindfulness, DBT 53:59: “How can I make this my bravest day?” 57:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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