Belonging: Conversations about rites of passage, meaningful community, and seasonal living

What does it actually take to feel less lonely — even in a room full of people? In this rich, wide-ranging conversation, Becca welcomes back relationship coach Ginny Muir for her second appearance on the Belonging Podcast. Calling in from her jungle home in Costa Rica, Ginny brings her signature blend of warmth, rigor, and humor to a topic that sits at the heart of every relationship we have: the courage to reveal our truest selves. Together, we explore the fascinating world of child consciousness, relational intimacy, and how understanding our child strategies can transform our relationships and inner life. Ginny shares profound insights on recognizing and including our childhood selves to foster greater connection and authenticity.
Key topics include:
Why loneliness is a symptom of emotional hiding , and how most of us learned to hide early
The difference between child consciousness and adult consciousness, and why most conflict, avoidance, and resentment lives in the gap between them
Why "healing your inner child" is a dead end, and what to do instead (notice, include, redirect)
How our survival strategies are as unique as our thumbprints, and why attachment theory alone doesn't capture the full picture
A real-life example from Ginny’s community: what it looked like to tell the truth in community, and why it was terrifying even for someone who teaches this work
What happens when someone else's child part gets activated mid-conflict, and how to stay in adult without shutting down or caving
Why doing this work in community is different (and more powerful) than one-on-one therapy
The connection between personal relationality and collective resilience - why the adults in the room matter more than ever right now
Resources + Links
Ginny’s 'The Lover's Collective'
The Lover’s Collective Pop Up & Open House on 3/21/26
My previous episode with Ginny, #125: Turning Circle Conflict into Deeper Intimacy
Subscribe to my newsletter and check out my Substack, How We Come Back
My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli
Timestamps:
[0:00] Introduction
[7:16] Craving & Moving to a Particular Type of Land
[13:10] The Baseline of Emotional Disconnection
[18:18] Embracing Otherness and Intimacy of Self
[22:14] Child Consciousness and Strategies
[31:11] Examples of Child Strategies as an Adult
[37:19] Noticing and Including your Strategies
[48:01] Breaking the Cycle by Expressing your Truth
[56:36] Repatterning to Adult Competency
[59:45] Relational Work in Community as Revolution
[01:04:43] Consuming Media and Observing Relationality

This episode is a conversation with my dear friend Catherine Zack, which we initially recorded for her podcast "The 40 Portal". Catherine is the owner of Village Yoga in Kinderhook, NY, an executive coach, speaker, writer and collector of women’s wisdom. This past summer, on her own 40th birthday - only 2 days apart to my own - she invited a group of close female friends to participate in what she calls The 40 Portal, a book in which everyone of 40 and under was invited to write a question, and everyone of over 40 was invited to share their wisdom. This book turned into the podcast The 40 Portal, on which Catherine invites 40 women to have conversations around their path towards 40, and beyond.
In this conversation, Catherine and I discuss midlife and what it brings up for us to move into our 40s. I talk about what this portal means to me, and how I’m experiencing this non-linear space of self discovery. We discuss the liberation that can be found in midlife and a sense of shedding the pressure of the societal gaze. We share about embracing a sense of invisibility, the reclaiming of personal magic, erotic awakenings, re-villaging and being seen by the people we actually want to be seen by.
Resources + Links
Cath’s ‘The 40s Portal Project’
Cath’s podcast ‘The 40 Portal’
We mention these books: Terry Tempest Williams, “When Women Were Birds” and Miranda July, “All Fours”
Sign up for my newsletter, How We Come Back
My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli
Timestamps
[00:00] Introducing Catherine & her project ‘The 40 Portal’ 
[08:25] The start of our friendship and the origin of the 40 Portal project 
[12:16] The personal definition and visual of portal and midlife 
[16:10] Exploration of identity through name, life phases and self definition 
[21:41] The myths and blessings of midlife 
[29:34] Seeking examples of women in their femininity and agency as a mother and as a daughter 
[34:47] Feeling seen, safe and at home in spaces with other women 
[38:23] Erotic awakening in midlife 
[46:29] Releasing patterns and self discovery in your 40s and beyond 
[50:00] Disappearing from the aggressive societal gaze and feeling seen in the community we knit 
[54:54] Life as a portfolio with many projects of many seasons and receiving your life’s assignment

My essay, Practicing repair in a post-village world
Subscribe to my newsletter, How We Come Back on Substack
Join the Winter ‘26 live round of Circle Craft, my women’s circle facilitating training
My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

My essay, Was the Village Really Better?
Subscribe to my newsletter, How We Come Back on Substack
Join the Winter ‘26 live round of Circle Craft, my women’s circle facilitating training
My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli

My essay, Gossip was sacred until they made it dangerous
Subscribe to my newsletter, How We Come Back on Substack
Join the Winter ‘26 live round of Circle Craft, my women’s circle facilitating training
My book, Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self
Connect with me on Instagram @beccapiastrelli