10% Happier with Dan Harris

Your health, relationships, and self-esteem all hinge on your attachment style. Here's how to know if you're anxious or avoidant — and how to get more secure.
Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist and coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached, which brought attachment theory into mainstream conversation and remains the #1 book on Amazon in Relationships more than a decade later. His new book Secure expands this work into emotional regulation and everyday well-being.
In this episode we talk about:
What attachment theory is 
The four attachment styles — anxious, avoidant, secure, and fearful avoidant — and how to identify which one you are
Why your attachment style is not fixed and how it can change 
What happens in your brain when you're ignored or excluded
How being securely connected can extend your life
The five pillars of a secure life 
How to right-size a relationship with someone unreliable 
Small, seemingly insignificant daily interactions as vehicles for change
Two rules of secure engagement that can defuse almost any argument 
Why anxious and avoidant attachment styles each have genuine superpowers
How to build your "attachment topography"
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We're all hooked on something. Here's the way out, according to an MD who became a beloved nun.
Sister Dang Nghiem, MD, ("Sister D") was born in 1968 in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive, the daughter of a Vietnamese mother and an American soldier. She lost her mother at the age of twelve and immigrated to the United States at the age of seventeen with her brother. Living in various foster homes, she learned English and went on to earn a medical degree from the University of California – San Francisco. After suffering further tragedy and loss, she quit her practice as a doctor to travel to Plum Village monastery in France founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, where she was ordained a nun in 2000, and given the name Dang Nghiem, which means adornment with nondiscrimination. She is the author of a memoir, Healing: A Woman's Journey from Doctor to Nun (2010), and Mindfulness as Medicine: A Story of Healing and Spirit (2015).
This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series. 
We talk about:
Sister D's Buddhist version of the 12 step program, which is a combination of two canonical buddhist lists: the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path
How willpower doesn't fit into the Buddhist path of understanding and working with addiction 
How to change addiction at its root
Practical applications of mindfulness
Self-compassion
The importance of social support
Her thoughts on our relationships to our phones 
And more
Related Episodes:
 This Episode Will Make You Stronger | Sister Dang Nghiem
The Science Of Manifestation | James Doty
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/sister-d-899
Additional Resources:
Plum Village
Deer Park Monastery 
Deer Park Monastery YouTube channel
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Why seeing yourself cling is the beginning of freedom — and other Buddhist insights that will stick with you.
Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, who have both been previous guests on this show. Pascal is now a core teacher at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts. He is also a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its guiding teachers. 
In this episode we talk about:
What the Four Kinds of Clinging are — and why the Buddha thought this list mattered
How clinging to pleasure actually makes pleasure harder to enjoy
The "wrong views" that cause the most suffering — and how to hold your opinions less tightly
Why clinging to rules and routines shows up in the most ordinary places (including who puts the onions in the pan first)
What self-identification is, and why loosening it leads to less guilt, shame, and anxiety
A simple bedside inquiry for getting underneath the concept of self
Why catching yourself cling is a reason for joy, not self-criticism
Related Episodes:
5 Ways To Get Over Yourself | Pascal Auclair
Seven Buddhist Ingredients for a Happy Mind | Pascal Auclair
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Thanks to our sponsors: 

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Leveling up, speaking your mind, and why the ability to hear no is the only superpower that matters.
Scott Galloway is Professor of Marketing at NYU's Stern School of Business and a serial entrepreneur. He is the New York Times bestselling author of The Four, The Algebra of Happiness, Post Corona, Adrift: America in 100 Charts and The Algebra of Wealth. His most recent book Notes on Being a Man reached #1 on The New York Times Best Seller List. 
In this episode we talk about:
Why "action absorbs anxiety" and other strategies for stress and overthinking
Galloway's three-pillar framework for modern masculinity
How to handle criticism
Fighting tech algorithms to build real-world relationships
Embracing the word "no" to build resilience and success
Why young people should follow their talent rather than their passion
Signaling value through humor and small, daily acts of kindness
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Additional Resources: 
Prof G Pod
Pivot 
Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!
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Thanks to our sponsors: 
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A hilarious chat about therapy, doomscrolling, being typecast in your own life, and finding yourself in middle age.
Actor, comedian, writer, and producer Billy Eichner burst onto the scene in 2011 with Billy on the Street, a satirical TV game show he created and starred in, where Billy walked the streets of New York City asking people to compete in pop culture trivia challenges. The show has not only become a dominant force on social media with hundreds of millions of views but remains one of the most beloved and respected comedy acts in the industry. 
In this episode we talk about:
Why Billy refuses to call his memoir a self-help book
His complicated relationship with meditation 
Why he only started therapy in his early 40s
Acting class as accidental therapy
The real Billy vs. the Billy on the Street character
How his parents shaped his confidence and career
A bar mitzvah breakdown and his mom's advice
And much more
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Additional Resources: 
Billy on Billy: An Audio Memoir

Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!
To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris