HealthyGamerGG

• Couples Counseling w/ @Ludwig and @Squeex

  Dr. K joins Ludwig and Squeex in the middle of an intense Dark Souls marathon to unpack a growing tension that goes beyond the game. What starts as frustration over skill differences quickly turns into a deeper conversation about resentment, competition, validation, and what happens when collaboration turns into comparison. As the conversation unfolds, Dr. K walks them through real relationship dynamics in real time. They explore how cycles of blame form, why arguing over who is “right” often makes things worse, and how resentment quietly builds when people feel unheard or undervalued. The episode becomes a live breakdown of how to move from winning arguments to actually repairing trust. Topics include: Why focusing on “the truth” can damage relationships How resentment builds between teammates and collaborators Competition vs cooperation in close partnerships Feeling respected versus feeling understood Why validation matters more than being right Breaking cycles of blame and escalation How to repair tension without keeping score HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Why You're The Least Valuable Friend

  Dr. K unpacks what it means to feel like “the goober” in your friend group. The person who gets invited, but it doesn’t really matter if you show up. Starting from a brutal birthday story where nobody came, he shows how overgiving, bribing people with effort, and constantly trying to be “worth inviting” actually keep you stuck on the edge of every group. Being on the periphery isn’t a diagnosis, but it can wreck your self-esteem and make you feel forgettable even when you technically have friends. He then breaks down the science of social networks and what actually moves you toward the center of a group. Instead of clinging to one friend circle and making yourself small with self-deprecating humor, he explains how to build more connections, become the “in between” person who links groups, and stop hiding your strengths. Dr. K gives both big-picture strategies and small behavior changes so you can be respected, remembered, and valued instead of feeling like the tagalong. Topics include: What it really means to feel like a “goober” in social groups Clinging behaviors that keep you stuck on the edge of friend circles Why overinvesting in one group rarely gets you more respect Eigenvector centrality and how “social gravity” actually works Forming weak ties and turning them into strong, meaningful connections Becoming the bridge between different groups to raise your status How self-deprecating humor and playing small lower your social value Why showing your real skills and expertise changes how people treat you HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Is Self Love Really The Answer?

  Dr. K breaks down why so many people struggle with self-love and why the usual advice to “just love yourself” never works. He explains how early attachment, people pleasing, and constant self-negotiation slowly disconnect you from your own wants until you can’t tell who you are or what you deserve. Instead of treating self-love like a mindset hack, he shows how your environment and relationships quietly shape your sense of worth. He also lays out what actually moves the needle. That includes changing the way you talk to yourself, breaking the habit of appeasing your own anxiety, letting others reflect your value, and using meditation to stop fusing with every negative thought. Dr. K reframes self-love as something you grow into through awareness and experience, not something you magically “decide” to have. Topics include:- How childhood conditioning shapes adult self-worth- Why anxious and avoidant patterns make self-love harder- The trap of self-appeasement and over-negotiating with yourself- How self-loathing builds when you stay stuck in your own head- Using real relationships to rebuild a sense of value- Meditation as a way to observe thoughts instead of believing them- Small habits that slowly create authentic self-respect HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Why "The Grind" Isn't Meant For Everyone

  In this episode Dr. K breaks down why most people cannot “fall in love with the grind” no matter how hard they try. The real problem is exhaustion. Not the good kind of tired you feel after a full day on the lake, but the worn-out, stretched-thin kind that builds up from emotional avoidance, poor focus, and physical deconditioning. Weekends and vacations only mask the issue instead of fixing it, and modern habits like using devices before bed or relying on substances wreck the REM sleep needed for recovery. He explains that loving the grind only becomes possible after rebuilding your capacity. That means emotional conditioning, better focus, strengthening the body, and viewing your current work as a stepping stone to the life you want. The first weeks are harder and more tiring, but over a few months your baseline energy rises, your work becomes more manageable, and the grind starts to feel rewarding instead of draining. Topics include: Why most exhaustion comes from emotional suppression, not workload How poor focus and constant distraction drain more energy than the work itself The impact of physical weakness, posture issues, and poor sleep on daily fatigue Why REM sleep is essential for emotional processing and daily reset Reconditioning yourself through emotional awareness, focus training, and basic movement How to frame your current job as a stepping stone so your brain stops giving up HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• You're Boring Because You're Afraid To Change

  Dr. K talks about what it really means to “have no personality” and why so many people feel like NPCs in their own life. He explains that a lot of people who say this aren’t clinically depressed or totally isolated, but feel like life is just a series of side quests with no main quest, no clear sense of who they are, and no strong preferences of their own. He breaks down three big patterns he sees in these people: living by “what’s right” instead of what they actually want, being extremely risk averse, and constantly chasing identity through groups and labels. From goths to gamers to political identities, he shows how over-identifying with a group can become a mask that blocks you from discovering your real self. He also defines personality in a concrete way: how you interpret situations, how you feel inside, and how you behave in response. Using examples from his practice and his own life, Dr. K talks about cultural conditioning (especially in immigrant and Asian families), the pressure to maximize your advantages, and how suppressing desire leads to a flat, “empty” existence. He then lays out what actually helps: noticing how comfort, efficiency, and fear shape your choices, allowing yourself to do things that aren’t perfectly “optimal,” taking meaningful risks, and stretching your capacities instead of always staying where you’re safe and competent. Over time, those choices are how you actually build a personality. Topics include:Feeling like an NPC, side quests without a main questThe trap of always doing the “right” or efficient thingComfort and risk aversion as personality killersIdentity vs identification (goth, gamer, trad wife, politics, etc.)How family expectations and culture suppress desireWhat personality really is: perception, internal reaction, behaviorWhy you fantasize about disaster forcing you to “prove yourself”Noticing your mental rulebook and changing itStretching your competence instead of “smurfing” through life HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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