Today, we are learning from Mila Aliana.
Mila works in the messy, uncharted spaces where complexity lives, across industries, sectors, coalitions, and multi-stakeholder systems, where things are no longer working and no one quite knows how to navigate what’s next. Mila tends to work at the level of patterns and relationships, helping people see what’s really shaping behaviour beneath the surface, not just what’s visible.
Her practice has been shaped by working across very different contexts, from government and global consortiums to sitting with indigenous elders, and Mila brings that into how she holds spaces for people to sense, relate, and move differently together. At the moment, she is closely involved in stewarding the transition of the Inner Development Goals ecosystem, staying with the tension between structure, culture, and what it actually takes to shift how we lead and work.
Let's get started...
In this conversation with Mila Aliana, I learned:
00:00 Intro - how we met and why I invited Mila Aliana
04:00 How do you become a weaver?
07:00 When we say system, it is relationships that weave together.
08:55 Time is my kin (family)
10:10 Wayfinding is the orientation.
17:25 Control is a coping strategy when we face uncertainty.
19:30 Wayfinding and weaving in the no-map territory.
21:35 Learning from sensing and knowing, and how can it be supported by science?
22:30 We are all participants in life, not answers. We are all relational.
25:20 The land is not a resource; it is our relative. Time is our kin.
25:40 I am part of the relay team that passes down to the next generation.
29:35 The fundamental question: Does it actually matter?
30:10 How do you make it possible for others to become the best version of themselves? (this part is important to me)
32:50 Does it matter to you that you know what the impact is? Why does it matter to you?
35:10 How do we make a living from this work? (important section)
36:10 If I create value, money will follow.
37:55 Translate what you work into something that people can pay for in their language.
40:10 Go where you are invited.
42:40 Separate survival from your purpose.
43:05 Design for mutual reciprocity and not transactional relationships.
45:45 Four criteria for mutual reciprocity in living systems.
Does it give mutual benefit to each other?
Is it complementary?
Are you adaptive to change?
Is it readily available?
53:30 Using the spiritual level in the decision-making.
56:55 The trust cultivated about boundaries.
58:05 The misunderstanding of purpose in your work.
1:06:40 Mila asks Erno what he will use tomorrow based on what he has learned in this conversation.
1:09:10 A before and after embodied experience in a workshop or meeting.
1:12:55 Experimentation and adaptive action.
1:15:30 Working in collaboration in a participatory process.
More about Mila Aliana:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/milaaliana/
Resources we mention:
Arnold Mindell, a quantum flirt
The Transition working group - for the transition of the IDG organisation.
Barry's Economics - YouTube channel by Barry Ferns
Diary Of A CEO Is Making You Less Successful - Barry's Economics
Vibe by Mistral (formerly Le Chat)
De Trias Economica - book by Babette Porcelijn
Zo krijgen we een economie zonder verborgen impact – Babette Porcelijn
Chantal Walg
IDG Guide
IDG skill finder
Video of the conversation with Mila Aliana
https://youtu.be/QwbVoipQQ9Q
Watch the conversation here https://youtu.be/QwbVoipQQ9Q
Summary (created with AI)
In episode 492 of the Decide for Impact podcast, host Erno Hannink interviews Mila Aliana about working in complex, uncharted multi-stakeholder systems and her role as a “chief weaver.”
Mila explains weaving as making visible the relational dynamics, patterns, narratives, and intergenerational tensions that shape behavior in living systems, and wayfinding as sensing an inner compass to move without a clear map by listening to emergence rather than controlling outcomes.
They discuss how silence and culture co-create toxicity (including reflections on rising fascism), how humans are participants in interdependent systems rather than in control, and how impact matters through relationships and ripple effects without needing recognition.
Mila shares practical guidance on earning a living through boundaries, creating value, translating work into clients’ language, building trust-based mutual reciprocity instead of transactional funnels, and choosing projects via deep knowing; they end with applying “before/after” experiences to introduce IDG work and experimenting through collaborative events and questions.
Transcript
[00:00:00] Erno Hannink: Hello, and welcome to episode 492 of the Decide for Impact podcast. Today, you're listening to the conversation with Mila Aliana. Mila works in the messy, uncharted spaces where complexity lives across industries, sectors, coalitions, and multi-stakeholder systems, where things are no longer working and no one quite knows how to navigate what's next.
[00:00:29] Erno Hannink: Mila tends to work at the level of patterns and relationships, helping people see what's really shaping behavior beneath the surface, not just what's visible. Her practice has been shaped by working across very different contexts, from governments and global consortiums to sitting with indigenous elders, and Mila brings that into how she holds spaces for people to sense, relate, and move differently together.
[00:01:00] Erno Hannink: At the moment, she is closely involved with stewarding the transition of the Inner Development Goals ecosystem, staying with the tension between structure, culture, and what it actually takes to shift how we lead and work. My name is Erno Hannink, and I share my knowledge, experience, and expertise with you.
[00:01:21] Erno Hannink: I coach entrepreneurs so they make decisions that will help them to grow their impact. In this conversation with Mila, I learned so much about working differently based on relationships and how to make impact and how it does maybe impact my personal ego. Let's get started. Welcome in this new podcast episode.
[00:01:47] Erno Hannink: Today, I'm talking to Mila Aliana
[00:01:52] Mila Aliana: Yes. And- Thank you, Miguel. Very honored ...
[00:01:56] Erno Hannink: yes, I am very honored that you're here, so thank you for being here. I got to know you... I've heard your name on several occasions when I w- in the, in the development goals environment. I was very active o- on the Global Practitioners Network.
[00:02:09] Mila Aliana: Yes.
[00:02:10] Erno Hannink: Uh, very active in my own community here that, that we organize meetings every month for, and, uh, then I finally met you in call last year-
[00:02:19] Mila Aliana: Yes, that's right ...
[00:02:20] Erno Hannink: when we had the conversations about the ambassadors, and I found that you were like a breath of fresh air and calmness in all these heated debates that were happening around ambassadors we need, and we need, we need this, and we need this, and-
[00:02:34] Mila Aliana: Yeah
[00:02:34] Erno Hannink: I was going like, "What? What are you, what are you doing?" I didn't understand what these people were just so mad about.
[00:02:39] Mila Aliana: Yes. A-
[00:02:40] Erno Hannink: and you were just very calm, asking questions, listening, bringing calm to the meeting, and I, I was very impressed with how you did then. I'm very happy that you were there, and even though you were just there a, a day and a half, you just, just very short, ha, like a breath of, a breath of fresh air.
[00:03:00] Erno Hannink: So then I decide... I'm gonna just intro this, right? Yeah, sure. So then I decided to, 'cause I have this great project, also a large project that I'm working on right now. I'm building my new house with my wife, and so I'm doing all the installation work myself. I wanna be as much as I can with the build, with the builder.
[00:03:19] Erno Hannink: It's bio-based. It's, it's w- wood. It's everything as, as good as I can afford. So I decided to l- dec- last December to say I'm gonna stop, uh, the Global Practitioners Network. I, I- Yeah ... have no space for the monthly meetings to- Yeah ... organize everything.
[00:03:34] Mila Aliana: Yeah.
[00:03:34] Erno Hannink: And then the request came along. We have this transition going on.
[00:03:39] Erno Hannink: We need volunteers who w- is willing to help you.
[00:03:42] Mila Aliana: Yeah.
[00:03:42] Erno Hannink: And I felt the calling. I felt like I, I have to do this. I have to be part of this. Yes. I don't know how to find time, but I have to be part of this. Yes. So that's how we met again, because you were running this. But that's just an intro, a long one.
[00:03:55] Mila Aliana: Yes.
[00:03:56] Erno Hannink: But it's okay. It's an intro of how I got to know you and h- why I wanna have a conversation with you. My first real question for you is, and you call yourself a, a chief weaver. Well, somebody who's weaving.
[00:04:09] Mila Aliana: Mm-hmm.
[00:04:09] Erno Hannink: What does a weaver do, and h- how do you become a weaver?
[00:04:14] Mila Aliana: So I think I'll start with how do you become a weaver?
[00:04:20] Mila Aliana: It's really organically born because we are all weavers, uh, funnily enough. And it was just a conversation with, um, with one of my clients, and he says, "What do you actually do?" And I, I shared... 'cause normally when I have clients, they are-- it's very challenging for them to give me a label. I'm not a strategic advisor only.
[00:04:45] Mila Aliana: I'm not a consultant only. I can also coach when I need to. But mainly big, huge collaborations, consortiums into really messy,...