How to share secret sexual desires & why we’re turned on by taboos | E22
Most of us were raised to believe that sexual fantasies are shameful - or just plain wrong. But what if those forbidden desires weren’t signs that something’s broken?
In this episode, we get to the bottom of why so many people are turned on by taboos, what that says about our emotional wiring, and we share practical strategies to discuss fantasies with your partner in a way that builds trust, safety and - more importantly - turns them on, rather than scares them off.
We also openly share some of own fantasies and struggles with taboos, as well as real-life stories from our clients, from threesomes and being dominated, to consensual non-consent, emphasising the significance of curiosity and trust in deepening sexual and emotional connections.
If there’s something you’ve secretly desired but never dared to say out loud, today’s episode is your “how to” permission slip to get curious and start that super-hot conversation that you’ve always wanted to have.
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TIME STAMPS
04:55 Your fantasies are actually normal
06:45 Why do we avoid talking about taboos?
13:58 Stay curious
17:03 Should I "request" or "propose" a kinky fantasy?
23:34 How to suggest a fantasy to your partner
24:39 Domination fantasy
27:16 Masculine and Feminine in all of us
30:03 Slutty and proud
31:36 Consensual non-consent fantasy
33:29 Rape play fantasy
36:26 Sex in public fantasy
36:58 Threesome fantasy
37:22 Dirty talking fantasy
38:34 10 prompts for deeper conversations
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Free resources + next steps for your sexual healing journey:
>> Download the free guide:
“10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”
>> Will & Chiara’s mini-course: “How to talk to your partner so they actually see you” - Join the waitlist
>> Will & Chiara’s 1:1 monthly mentorship - Apply
Listen to E16 on masculine/feminine polarity in relationships: on Apple or Spotify
Listen to E19 on threesome fantasies: on Apple or Spotify
Deeper Lovers on Instagram
For more info, visit www.deeperlovers.com
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40:11
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40:11
Why your intimacy issues aren’t caused by your partner with Puja Lepp | E21
Most people think the key to better sex and exciting relationships is learning the right moves or finding "The One".
In an interview with one of our teachers, Will and I talk about why the patterns that hold you back in bed are the same ones that limit you in life. Why lack of intimacy isn’t about the other person, the sex positions, or your performance. And why feeling stuck, unseen, or frustrated in your relationship often has deeper roots that go far beyond your partner’s behaviour.
Puja Lepp is an internationally sought after psychotherapist, retreat leader, and teacher. For over 30 years she has been supporting people through deep emotional healing and transformation. She is the founder of the Primal Childhood Deconditioning retreat, a seven-day immersive process designed to help participants access and release unprocessed emotions, break free from old survival patterns, and reconnect with their authentic selves.
In this episode she shares the powerful truth we’ve seen again and again in our own journey and with our clients: you can’t separate your relationship struggles from your personal healing. But when you start doing the work on yourself—when you drop the mask and learn to show up fully—that’s when everything begins to change.
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TIME STAMPS
04:03 How Inner Work And Sexual Healing Are Deeply Connected
08:32 Is This Type Of Work For You? The Impact on Romantic Relationships
12:26 Is "working on yourself" really harder than "pretending" and wearing masks of perfection?
13:27 We All Fear Not Being Loved
16:13 We can't Force Our Partner To Do The Work
19:07 Why Feeling Safe Is Key For a Successful Relationship
19:42 How To Help Your Parter Feel Safe With You
22:38 "Doing The Work" Has a Domino Effect On Your Life as A Whole
23:46 Healing As a Lifestyle
24:12 Start By Changing 1% a Day
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Resources and next steps for your relationship healing journey:
>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”
>> Join Puja’s retreat (co-hosted by Will and Chiara)
>> Mini-course “How to talk to your partner so they actually see you”: join the waitlist
Deeper Lovers on Instagram and on the web: www.deeperlovers.com
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36:21
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36:21
My partner doesn’t want sex. What should I do? | E20
To celebrate our podcast 1st anniversary, we address our clients’ most common questions in a live Q&A - from jealousy to sexual dynamics and open relationships.
Partner communication, establishing trust, and addressing underlying issues in a relationship are some of the things we are experts on, and our goal is to provide you with practical tips that will enhance your romantic connections.
If you feel even a little curious but shy, this is the episode for you.
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TIME STAMPS
01:38 Q1. My Partner Does Not Want To Have Sex: Should We Open The Relationship?
02:48 The Risks of Opening a Relationship
06:09 Work On Your Own Relationship First
07:49 Q2. How Do I Know If My Partner Is Into Kinks?
11:09 Q3. I am So Jealous! How Do I deal With Jealousy?
18:48 Embracing Jealousy Can Keep You Safe
19:51 Your Body Has All The Answers
21:53 Q4. Am I Bi-Curious?
25:46 Q5. How Can A Man Stay Confident During Sex When Another Man Is In The Room?
29:23 It's All About Boundaries
29:59 Sexual Conditioning: What Is (Not) Doing For You?
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YOUR GOODIES:
>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”
>> Book a free intro chat
>> Send us your questions here
==
Deeper Lovers on Instagram and on the web: www.deeperlovers.com
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32:19
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32:19
Threesome fantasy? How to talk to your partner about it (and make it happen) | 19
Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies - yet only few people have the courage to act on them. Is it something you should try, or is it better left as a fantasy?
In this episode, Will and Chiara explore the psychology behind group sex, the gap between fantasy and reality, and how to decide whether a threesome is right for you.
They go over the key conversations couples need to have before inviting a third person in, including the emotional impact, managing expectations, and how to navigate jealousy - often the biggest deal breaker.
They also explore how to test the waters with your partner - through dirty talk, fantasy role-play, or watching certain types of content together - to see if the idea is genuinely exciting or just intriguing in theory.
For those considering taking the next step, they share practical guidance on finding the right third, whether through dating apps, social circles, or more curated experiences like sex-positive events. They also explain the difference between FMF (two women, one man) and MFM (two men, one woman) threesomes, how to avoid common pitfalls, and why communication is essential at every stage.
Whether you're simply curious or seriously planning your adventure, this episode helps you explore your desires and possibility with clarity, awareness, compassion and respect for your relationship.
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TIME STAMPS
00:00 Why is a threesome the most common fantasy?
03:29 Fantasy vs reality: why so many people regret it
04:09 Is your relationship ready for this?
07:21 Libido imbalances and why threesomes won’t fix them
09:19 How to start the conversation with your partner
11:25 Dirty talk as a way to explore the fantasy safely
17:24 What to expect emotionally before, during, and after
19:18 Finding a third: friends, strangers, or dating apps?
23:25 The risks of inviting someone from your social circle
26:00 Compersion: when watching your partner turns you on
30:42 FMF vs MFM: which is right for you?
33:00 Why many men find MFM threesomes easier
35:42 What women should know about MFM dynamics
37:45 Handling unexpected emotions in the moment
44:21 If you’re single, should you join a couple?
46:56 The biggest mistake couples make
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YOUR GOODIES:
>> Want more content about sexual fantasies?
Don’t miss our previous episode on Apple or Spotify: There’s No Shame In Dirty Fantasies: How Speaking Them Out Loud Can Transform Your Relationship
>> Book a free introductory call with us
>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to help you have deeper conversations with your partner”
==
Send any questions here
==
Follow us on Instagram
About Deeper Lovers: www.deeperlovers.com
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47:18
Fighting with erections and performance anxiety? Here’s what you didn’t know you can do | E18
Will and Chiara tackle another taboo topic that many men (and their partners) struggle with, but rarely discuss openly: erections.
From performance anxiety to the pressure of always staying hard, they explore how much of the struggle is psychological rather than physical.
They discuss how shame, unrealistic expectations, and overthinking can interfere with arousal, and share practical ways to overcome these challenges. From breaking free of the traditional sex script to exploring the benefits of unconventional practices like non-ejaculation, they offer unusual yet groundbreaking perspectives on male sexual confidence.
You’ll also hear how women often feel responsible for their partner’s arousal, why they may misinterpret erection issues, and how couples can learn to have open, reassuring conversations that remove pressure.
Whether you’ve felt anxiety around performance or simply want a more relaxed, fulfilling intimate life, we guarantee this episode will change the way you think about erections and intimate connections.
TIME STAMPS
00:00 When Did Your Dick Stop Working?
00:48 Let's Talk About Erections
02:11 The "Erectile Dysfunction" Label Does Not Serve You
03:07 Level 1 of "Mind-Fucking"
05:55 What About Cialis or Viagra?
08:40 More Pressure On The Man
09:44 You Naturally Have Things On Your Mind
11:28 The Mojo App for Erectile Dysfunction (20% off code: DEEPERSEX20)
12:44 Cock Rings Can Help With Performance
15:17 Do Women Like Cock Rings?
16:02 How To Talk About Cock Rings
18:43 Mind-Fucking Is The Problem
19:32 I'm Not Hard: How To Address The Elephant In The Room
20:26 10 Prompts To Start Difficult Conversations
21:02 Never Say "I'm Sorry If I'm Not Hard"
21:58 Have Some Fun With Sex Toys
22:46 Are You Saying I Shouldn't Ejaculate? Ever...?
23:25 Benefits of Non-Ejaculation: Increased Libido
24:35 Overcoming The Initial Resistance to Non-Ejaculation
24:58 Coming Is Not The Best Bit!
25:59 What Women Think Of Non-Ejaculation
26:25 The Pleasure Of Giving Pleasure
26:52 Benefits of Non-Ejaculation: Higher Sensitivity
27:42 Soft Dicks Are Nice!
28:46 Have You Tried A Tantric Massage?
30:37 The Secret of "No Goals" During Intercourse
32:57 The Importance Of Feeling Safe
34:19 Become A Better Lover
36:42 For Women: Tell Your Man You Like His Dick!
==
Ask us about Tantric Massage
==
About Deeper Lovers: www.deeperlovers.com
Follow us on Instagram
==
YOUR GOODIES:
>> Get 20% off your Mojo membership – forever – using our discount code: DEEPERSEX20 | Sign up for the Mojo App
>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to help you have deeper conversations with your partner”
>> Book a free intro call with us
Over Deeper Sex - The podcast about deeper connections and adventure
Deeper Sex is a fun and sexy podcast about deep love, exploration and adventure. It’s for those who crave connection that’s real, sex that makes you feel alive, and love that’s rooted in authenticity.
We are your hosts - Will and Chiara: real life partners, coaches, and your guides on love, sex, and personal transformation.
Our mission is to help passionate, growth-minded humans get past their fears, and lay the foundations for deep, authentic connections, so you can increase trust in intimacy, and transform your romantic relationship for good, because the best sex of your life is in your future, and not in your past.
With decades of experience in love and intimacy matters, we’re here to share everything that we’ve learned about helping people unlock the Extraordinary in relationships and in sex.
Deeper Sex is part of Deeper Lovers - our coaching platform that was born out of our passion for love, purpose, and personal growth. We saw the effect that our approach had on so many relationships, including our own, so we decided to share with you what we know about how to have a passionate, fulfilling, and super fun love life - no matter what relationship, situationship or datingship you’re in.
For more info, visit deeperlovers.com
Luister naar Deeper Sex - The podcast about deeper connections and adventure, The Mel Robbins Podcast en vele andere podcasts van over de hele wereld met de radio.net-app
Netherlands