Deeper Sex - A podcast about deeper connections and incredible sex

What’s the thing that scares the shit out of most couples? Being seen for who they really are. And in sex? Sharing their fantasies.

What’s the one thing that sits underneath every fantasy, every risk, and every deeply connected relationship? It’s TRUST.

Most of us simply don't trust what will happen when we share ourselves completely.

So, today’s episode is all about helping you doing exactly that. We cover:

the difference between fantasy and action

the reasons why "convincing" your partner never works

why a hard "no" today doesn't mean no forever

how to talk about what turns you on without pressing your partner

how the nervous system needs to hear something a few times before it stops treating it like a threat

The best relationships are not built on playing safe. They’re built on the kind of trust that lets two people tell the truth, stay close, explore, and grow together.

If you've been sitting on a sexy fantasy for a while but haven't found the way in yet, this episode is the conversation you need to hear – make it a date night to listen to it with your partner!

For more info, visit www.deeperlovers.com

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TIME STAMPS

02:00 Free Fantasy Live Workshop Invitation

02:23 You Don't Know What You Don't Know

06:29 Challenging Times In A Relationship Don't Have To Be The End Of It

07:46 Trust Is What Changes Everything

10:01 What Are You Scared Of?

11:40 What Are They Going To Think?

13:08 How Chiara Felt Safe To Talk About Her Threesome Fantasy

14:42 The Secret Fantasies Workshop You Don't Want To Miss

15:19 How Do You Create Safety?

16:50 Is This A Relationship Worth Saving?

17:54 How To Know If You Should Turn Your Fantasy Into Reality

18:59 "I want to convince my partner to..."

22:09 Your Answer: Nervous System + Play

24:59 How To Find Your Voice

26:01 What Sops You From Sharing Fantasies

28:15 The Leap Of Faith To Trust

30:04 Ask Yourself This Question

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More content about Sexual Fantasies:

>> E6 | There’s No Shame In “Dirty” Fantasies: How Speaking Them Out Loud Transforms Taboos into Passion – Listen on Apple or Spotify

 

>> E19 | Threesome fantasy? How to talk to your partner about it (and make it happen) – Listen on Apple or Spotify

 

>> E22 | How to share secret sexual desires and why we're turned on by taboos – Listen on Apple or Spotify

 

JOIN CHIARA'S NEXT LIVE WORKSHOP: "How to share your secret fantasies and upgrade your sex life"

Save your spot: https://chiarahardie.com/secret-fantasies-workshop-signup

>> FREE LIVE WORKSHOP: "Finally Share your Secret Fantasies without Shame or Fear" << REGISTER HERE

Most of us were raised to believe that sexual fantasies are shameful - or just plain wrong. But what if those forbidden desires weren’t signs that something’s broken?

In this episode, we get to the bottom of why so many people are turned on by taboos, what that says about our emotional wiring, and we share practical strategies to discuss fantasies with your partner in a way that builds trust, safety and - more importantly - turns them on, rather than scares them off.

We also openly share some of own fantasies and struggles with taboos, as well as real-life stories from our clients, from threesomes and being dominated, to consensual non-consent, emphasising the significance of curiosity and trust in deepening sexual and emotional connections.

If there’s something you’ve secretly desired but never dared to say out loud, today’s episode is your “how to” permission slip to get curious and start that super-hot conversation that you’ve always wanted to have.

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TIME STAMPS

04:55 Your fantasies are actually normal

06:45 Why do we avoid talking about taboos?

13:58 Stay curious

17:03 Should I "request" or "propose" a kinky fantasy?

23:34 How to suggest a fantasy to your partner

24:39 Domination fantasy

27:16 Masculine and Feminine in all of us

30:03 Slutty and proud

31:36 Consensual non-consent fantasy

33:29 Rape play fantasy

36:26 Sex in public fantasy

36:58 Threesome fantasy

37:22 Dirty talking fantasy

38:34 10 prompts for deeper conversations

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Free resources + next steps for your sexual healing journey:

 

>> Download the free guide:

“10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”

 

Listen to E16 on masculine/feminine polarity in relationships: on Apple or Spotify

Listen to E19 on threesome fantasies: on Apple or Spotify

 

For more info, visit www.deeperlovers.com

>> FREE LIVE WORKSHOP: "Finally Share your Secret Fantasies without Shame or Fear" << REGISTER HERE

Most people think the key to better sex and exciting relationships is learning the right moves or finding "The One".

In an interview with one of our teachers, Will and I talk about why the patterns that hold you back in bed are the same ones that limit you in life. Why lack of intimacy isn’t about the other person, the sex positions, or your performance. And why feeling stuck, unseen, or frustrated in your relationship often has deeper roots that go far beyond your partner’s behaviour.

Puja Lepp is an internationally sought after psychotherapist, retreat leader, and teacher. For over 30 years she has been supporting people through deep emotional healing and transformation. She is the founder of the Primal Childhood Deconditioning retreat, a seven-day immersive process designed to help participants access and release unprocessed emotions, break free from old survival patterns, and reconnect with their authentic selves.

In this episode she shares the powerful truth we’ve seen again and again in our own journey and with our clients: you can’t separate your relationship struggles from your personal healing. But when you start doing the work on yourself—when you drop the mask and learn to show up fully—that’s when everything begins to change.

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TIME STAMPS

04:03 How Inner Work And Sexual Healing Are Deeply Connected

08:32 Is This Type Of Work For You? The Impact on Romantic Relationships

12:26 Is "working on yourself" really harder than "pretending" and wearing masks of perfection?

13:27 We All Fear Not Being Loved

16:13 We can't Force Our Partner To Do The Work

19:07 Why Feeling Safe Is Key For a Successful Relationship

19:42 How To Help Your Parter Feel Safe With You

22:38 "Doing The Work" Has a Domino Effect On Your Life as A Whole

23:46 Healing As a Lifestyle

24:12 Start By Changing 1% a Day

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Resources and next steps for your relationship healing journey:

 

>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”

 

>> Apply to join our next retreat with Puja: https://www.pujalepp.com/  

 

Join Chiara's next live workshop "Finally share your secret fantasies without shame or fear"

>> Register for Chiara's next LIVE WORKSHOP for free: "Finally Share your Secret Fantasies without Shame or Fear"

To celebrate our podcast 1st anniversary, we address our clients’ most common questions in a live Q&A - from jealousy to sexual dynamics and open relationships.

Partner communication, establishing trust, and addressing underlying issues in a relationship are some of the things we are experts on, and our goal is to provide you with practical tips that will enhance your romantic connections.

If you feel even a little curious but shy, this is the episode for you.

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TIME STAMPS

01:38 Q1. My Partner Does Not Want To Have Sex: Should We Open The Relationship?

02:48 The Risks of Opening a Relationship

06:09 Work On Your Own Relationship First

07:49 Q2. How Do I Know If My Partner Is Into Kinks?

11:09 Q3. I am So Jealous! How Do I deal With Jealousy?

18:48 Embracing Jealousy Can Keep You Safe

19:51 Your Body Has All The Answers

21:53 Q4. Am I Bi-Curious?

25:46 Q5. How Can A Man Stay Confident During Sex When Another Man Is In The Room?

29:23 It's All About Boundaries

29:59 Sexual Conditioning: What Is (Not) Doing For You?

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YOUR GOODIES:

>> FREE DOWNLOAD: “10 phrases to start deeper conversations with your partner”

>> Send us your questions here

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Deeper Lovers on the web: www.deeperlovers.com

 

Next FREE LIVE workshop on sharing secret fantasies: RESERVE YOUR SEAT

Secret Fantasies FREE LIVE workshop ALERT!

Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies - yet only few people have the courage to act on them. Is it something you should try, or is it better left as a fantasy?

In this episode, Will and Chiara explore the psychology behind group sex, the gap between fantasy and reality, and how to decide whether a threesome is right for you.

They go over the key conversations couples need to have before inviting a third person in, including the emotional impact, managing expectations, and how to navigate jealousy - often the biggest deal breaker.

They also explore how to test the waters with your partner - through dirty talk, fantasy role-play, or watching certain types of content together - to see if the idea is genuinely exciting or just intriguing in theory.

For those considering taking the next step, they share practical guidance on finding the right third, whether through dating apps, social circles, or more curated experiences like sex-positive events. They also explain the difference between FMF (two women, one man) and MFM (two men, one woman) threesomes, how to avoid common pitfalls, and why communication is essential at every stage.

Whether you're simply curious or seriously planning your adventure, this episode helps you explore your desires and possibility with clarity, awareness, compassion and respect for your relationship.

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TIME STAMPS

00:00 Why is a threesome the most common fantasy?
03:29 Fantasy vs reality: why so many people regret it
04:09 Is your relationship ready for this?
07:21 Libido imbalances and why threesomes won’t fix them
09:19 How to start the conversation with your partner
11:25 Dirty talk as a way to explore the fantasy safely
17:24 What to expect emotionally before, during, and after
19:18 Finding a third: friends, strangers, or dating apps?
23:25 The risks of inviting someone from your social circle
26:00 Compersion: when watching your partner turns you on
30:42 FMF vs MFM: which is right for you?
33:00 Why many men find MFM threesomes easier
35:42 What women should know about MFM dynamics
37:45 Handling unexpected emotions in the moment
44:21 If you’re single, should you join a couple?
46:56 The biggest mistake couples make

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If you want to learn more about sexual fantasies:

>> Don’t miss our previous episode on Apple or Spotify: There’s No Shame In Dirty Fantasies: How Speaking Them Out Loud Can Transform Your Relationship

 

>> Join Chiara's free live online workshop "How to share your fantasies without fear": register here

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About Deeper Lovers: www.deeperlovers.com