Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Today we’re talking about motivation—what it is, what it isn’t, and why so many of our neurodivergent kids get mislabeled as “unmotivated” when the real story is far more nuanced. My guest is Dr. Ellen Braaten, an expert on motivation and the author of several books including Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less, and her newest release, The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love to Do. Ellen shares why motivation is not a fixed trait, how identity shapes whether kids lean in or shut down, and what often gets in the way for learners with ADHD and other differences. We talk about how parents can shift from pushing performance to supporting purpose, and how giving kids the space to discover what genuinely interests them can be transformative for confidence, engagement, and long-term growth.

About Dr. Ellen Braaten 

Dr. Ellen Braaten is the founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital and an associate professor at Harvard Medical School. She has published numerous scientific papers on topics related to ADHD, learning disorders, child psychopathology, processing speed, and intelligence, as well as many books for parents and professionals, including the bestsellers Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up, and Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation. Most recently, she coauthored The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love to Do.Dr. Braaten has a strong interest in educating the public on topics related to child mental health, maintains an active speaking schedule, and contributes regularly to local and national news outlets.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

How motivation is a dynamic skill that ebbs and flows based on environment and context, not a fixed trait

Why helping teens and tweens identify their strengths and values lays the foundation for authentic motivation

How responsibility and meaningful real-world experiences spark engagement and ownership

Why identity development plays a central role in sustaining long-term motivation

How practical, strengths-based activities can reignite momentum when kids feel stuck

Resources mentioned 

Dr. Ellen Braaten’s website


The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love to Do by Dr. Ellen Braaten & Dr. Hillary Bush


Bright Kids Who Couldn’t Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation by Dr. Ellen Braaten


Bright Kids Who Can’t Keep Up: Help Your Child Overcome Slow Processing Speed and Keep Up in a Fast-Paced World by Dr. Ellen Braaten


How to Rekindle Your Child’s Motivation, with Dr. Ellen Braaten (Tilt Parenting Podcast)


Exploring Slow Processing Speed with Dr. Ellen Braaten (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

Traits of Flow According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds

Dr. Martin Seligman / Positive Psychology

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Have
you ever wondered if SEL (social and emotional learning) in school and
classrooms really matters? I’ve been exploring this question a lot about
over the past year, as well trying to understand the recent increase in
parental and political pushback in the US specifically that is putting
the future of SEL in schools at risk.  

I wanted to get into a deep
conversation about SEL for the show, and so I reached out Dr. Joseph
Lee, a psychiatrist with a special interest in social and emotional
learning and helping people achieve what he calls optimal mental healthiness.

We had exactly the conversation I was
hoping we would, as we got into so many important topics, including the
state of children and young adult’s mental health today, demystifying
what SEL or social emotional learning actually is, why SEL matters, how it’s best introduced in schools, the limitations in the current educational model for social emotional learning curriculums,
what the pushback against SEL is really about, and what it’s at stake
if our children aren’t provided with social and emotional learning
opportunities. I think this is such an important and timely conversation
– I hope that you enjoy it and that you help me amplify this episode by
sharing it in your communities.

 

About Dr. Joseph Lee

Dr. Joseph Lee, MD., is a Psychiatrist in private practice in Redondo Beach, California. He is also an educator in social and emotional learning (SEL) and provides individual and group supervision to licensed therapists looking to add mental healthiness and SEL principles to their own practices. Dr. Lee has a medical doctorate from University Of California, Los Angeles, School Of Medicine.

 

Key Takeaways

Dr. Joseph Lee’s thoughts on the state of children and young adult’s mental health today

What SEL or social emotional learning actually is and why it matters

Ways that SEL can be weaved into traditional educational curriculum, as well as the use of specific SEL curriculum

What social and emotional learning inside schools looks like in practice

The “why” behind the pushback against SEL in the recent years and
what’s it’s at stake if we lose the ability to teach SEL in classrooms

 Resources Mentioned

Mental Healthiness / Dr. Joseph Lee’s website

Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning

Dr. Joseph Lee & Mental Healthiness on Facebook

Dr. Joseph Lee on Twitter


Hiding in Plain Sight: Youth Mental Illness (Ken Burns documentary)

Daniel Goleman


Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman


Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman

U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on Youth Mental Health Crisis Further Exposed by COVID-19 Pandemic

Parenting the New Teen with Dr. John Duffy (Tilt Parenting Podcast episode)

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In this short solo episode, Debbie responds to a question she hears from
many parents navigating unconventional education paths: looking back,
what would youchange—and what wouldn’t you—about your twice-exceptional young adult’s schooling journey. Debbie will share why there’s no perfect path, what she's glad she did (including embracing flexibility and a gap year), and how she's learned to let go of timelines and trust that our kids are on their own trajectory—even when it looks different from everyone else’s.

About Debbie

Debbie Reber, MA is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the CEO and founder of Tilt Parenting, a resource, top-performing podcast,
consultancy, and community with a focus on shifting the paradigm for
parents raising and embracing neurodivergent children. A regular
contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, and the author of more than a dozen books for children and teens, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: A Parent’s Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope.

Resources mentioned 


Dr. Dan Peters Discusses the Teen Years & Preparing for Navigating Launch (Tilt Parenting Podcast)


Best Gap Year Programs for Neurodivergent Students (Thrive Autism Coaching)


Dr  Eric Endlich on Gap Programs for Neurodivergent Students (Tilt Parenting Podcast)


Debbie Talks About Her Transition to Homeschooling (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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Lindsay Lyons, an educational justice coach, former NYC public school teacher, and parent who helps families and educators create space for real, meaningful conversations with kids joins me to talk about the challenges educators and families face when navigating hard conversations in schools, especially around inclusion, equity, and neurodivergence. We talk about the importance of student voice, creating safe spaces for dialogue, and addressing the fears and barriers that can get in the way of real change. At the heart of it all is dignity—how honoring kids’ humanity and lived experiences is foundational to building school environments where all learners can truly belong.

About Lindsay Lyons

Lindsay Lyons is an educational justice coach who helps families and educators create spaces for real conversations with kids about current events, hard history, and other high-emotion topics. A parent and former NYC public school teacher, she holds a PhD in Leadership and Change, and is the founder of the blog and podcast, Time for Teachership. Lindsay believes all students deserve literacy, criticality, and leadership skills.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

Why creating emotionally safe spaces for honest conversation is essential for learning and connection

How listening to students’ insights can shift adult perspectives and lead to more just educational practices

Why meaningful professional development requires ongoing, year-long support rather than one-off workshops

How restorative practices and constructive disorientation can strengthen community and transform school culture

Why engaging families in difficult conversations—with respect and care—is critical to lasting change

 Resources mentioned

Lindsay Lyons website

Grab the free Staying Engaged framework from Lindsay


Lindsay’s Rstorative Conference Companion (free access for listeners)


Want to Spark Change? Create “Constructive Disorientation” (blog post by Lindsay Lyons)


Controversy in the Classroom: The Democratic Power of Discussion by Diana Hess

Challenge Day

Zoretta Hammond


Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain: Promoting Authentic Engagement and Rigor Among Culturally and Linguistically Diverse Students by Zoretta Hammond

Ready for Rigor


Dr. Chris Wells Explains the Theory of Positive Disintegration (Tilt Parenting Podcast)

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Today’s episode is all about social skills, but from an updated lens
that really speaks to the lived experiences of today’s kids. My guest is
writer and journalist Catherine Newman, and we’re going to dive into
her new book, What Can I Say? A Kids Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself.

What Can I Say is aimed at kids ages 10 and up, and it
includes practical and accessible advice to help kids and teens learn
social skills, including everything from introduce themselves, express empathy, be persuasive, and apologize to compromise, ask for help, be grateful, and comfort a friend.

In this conversation, Catherine and talk about why learning social
and interpersonal skills are more important than ever for our kids,
despite the fact that their lives are evolving to include more time
spent online. We also talk about the climate for social emotional learning and ways parents and educators can to reinforce the social skills our kids are learning.

About Catherine

Catherine Newman is the author of the memoirs Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, the middle-grade novel One Mixed-Up Night, the kids’ craft book Stitch Camp, the how-to books for kids How to Be a Person and What Can I Say? and the novel We All Want Impossible Things
(forthcoming, Harper, November 2022). She edits the non-profit kids’
cooking magazine ChopChop, writes the etiquette column for Real Simple
magazine, and is a regular contributor to the New York Times, O, The
Oprah Magazine, Parents magazine, Cup of Jo, and many other
publications. She lives in Amherst, Massachusetts, with her family.

 

Key Takeaways

Why it’s still important to learn
social skills and interpersonal skills even though our kids’ lives are
evolving to include more time spent online

Why it’s important to spend time learning social skills just as we would learn any other type of skill like algebra or singing

The importance of learning
interpersonal skills that focus on empathy, setting boundaries, being
curious, and being supportive and inclusive of people with different
identities

How OT can help neurodivergent kids grow up with advanced social emotional skills

What parents and educators can do to support and reinforce the social skills they are learning

 Resources Mentioned

Catherine Newman’s website

Catherine on Instagram


What Can I Say? A Kids’ Guide to Super Useful Social Skills to Help You Get Along and Express Yourself by Catherine Newman


How to Be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn before You’re Grown Up by Catherine Newman

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