Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

• 241: Validating children’s feelings: Why it’s important, and how to do it with Dr. Caroline Fleck

  What exactly is validation? Dr. Fleck defines it as communication that demonstrates you are mindful, understand, and empathize with another person's experience, thereby accepting it as valid. In this illuminating conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, author the book Validation, we explore the powerful concept of validation and how it can transform your relationship with your child. Dr. Fleck is a licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford University. After the conversation with Dr. Fleck, I provide my own perspective on the third part of her book. While I found the first two parts on validation techniques extremely valuable and immediately applicable, I share some concerns about using validation as a tool for changing children's behavior. I explore the ethical considerations of consent-based relationships with children and offer an alternative approach focused on understanding needs rather than modifying behavior. The conversation gives you an overview of the very useful validation framework, while the conclusion honors my commitment to respectful, needs-based parenting approaches that maintain children's autonomy and inner experience. Questions this episode will answer How do I validate my child's feelings when they're having a meltdown? Does validating my child's emotions make tantrums worse or last longer? What should I say when my child is upset about something that seems trivial? How can I tell the difference between validating feelings versus validating bad behavior? What are the most effective words to use when validating my child's emotions? How does validation help my child develop emotional regulation skills? What happens if I've been unintentionally invalidating my child's feelings? Is it possible to validate feelings while still setting necessary boundaries? What simple validation techniques can I start using today with my child? What you'll learn in this episode Simple, practical phrases to validate your child's feelings during difficult moments How to respond when your child is upset about something that seems small (like a broken cracker) The step-by-step validation ladder you can use with children of all ages Why saying "You're OK!" actually makes tantrums worse and what to say instead How validation helps your child develop emotional regulation skills faster Easy mindfulness techniques to stay calm when your child is emotional Specific examples of validation for common parenting challenges How to validate feelings while still maintaining important boundaries Ways to repair your relationship if you've been unintentionally invalidating The connection between childhood validation and long-term mental health Whether you're dealing with tantrums, big emotions, difficult conversations, or just want to build a stronger connection with your child, the validation techniques shared in this episode provide a foundation for healthier relationships and emotional well-being. Dr. Fleck’s book Validation: how the skill set that revolutionized psychology will transform your relationships, increase your influence, and change your life (Affiliate link) Jump to highlights 00:57 Introducing today’s episode and guest speaker 04:06 Definition of validation by Dr. Caroline Fleck 04:38 Importance of...

  --------  

  1:15:36
• 240: How to prepare your kids for the real world

  In this episode, we explore how to prepare children for the real world without sacrificing their authentic selves. Drawing on research about food habits, screen time, social expectations, and discipline approaches, this discussion offers balanced strategies that prioritize connection over control. You'll learn how to guide children through external pressures while helping them develop critical thinking skills and maintaining their inherent wisdom. Questions this episode will answer How can I help my child navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationships? What's the evidence about screen time and video games, and how can I approach them constructively? How do social systems pressure children to conform to limiting gender roles and expectations? Is traditional discipline truly preparing children for the "real world," or is there a better approach? How can I honor my child's authentic self while still giving them tools to succeed?   What you'll learn in this episode The truth about BMI measurements and research on body size that contradicts common assumptions How the Division of Responsibility model can transform mealtime struggles Why video games don't increase violence and may offer surprising benefits Practical ways to help children develop critical thinking about media messages How to identify the unmet needs behind challenging behavior The concept of "traumatic invalidation" and its impact on children's development Step-by-step approaches to build children's self-regulation around screen time How to create meaningful conversations about problematic messages in children's books Ways to validate children while preparing them for life's challenges This episode offers a thoughtful examination of the tensions between societal pressures and children's innate wisdom, providing practical guidance for parents navigating these complex territories. Rather than offering quick fixes, we focus on building connection as the foundation for helping children develop resilience and discernment. Other episodes mentioned 007: Help! My toddler won’t eat vegetables 140: Mythbusting about fat and BMI with Dr. Lindo Bacon 142: Division of Responsibility with Ellyn Satter 218: What children learn from video games 106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting (Part 1) 050: How to raise emotionally healthy boys 083: White privilege in parenting: What it is & what to do about it 238: Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope 111: Parental Burnout 233: Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says Jump to highlights 00:56 Introducing today’s episode...

  --------  

  1:03:09
• 239: First year for your newborn baby: The 7 ideas that really matter

    What truly matters in a baby’s first year? This episode explores the top seven things parents should focus on, helping you set priorities with confidence. Questions this episode will answer How much influence do parents really have on their child’s development? What parenting practices actually make a long-term difference? Should you be worried about hitting developmental milestones on time? How can you support your baby’s emotional well-being from day one? What are the best ways to foster a strong parent-child bond? What you’ll learn in this episode Parenting advice changes constantly, often reflecting shifts in culture and scientific understanding. In this episode, we take a research-backed approach to uncover what truly matters in your baby’s first year—and what doesn’t. The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Learn why the definition of “good parenting” has evolved and how cultural expectations influence parenting choices. Nature vs. Nurture: Discover the surprising role genetics and socioeconomic factors play in shaping a child’s future. The Truth About Developmental Milestones: Understand why comparing your child to others can be misleading—and what really matters for long-term success. Helping Your Baby Feel Secure: Explore the key elements of emotional safety and how they support healthy development. Building a Strong Parent-Child Connection: Learn practical strategies to foster trust, communication, and bonding with your baby. Making Parenting Easier: Get clarity on what’s actually worth stressing about—spoiler: fancy baby gear isn’t on the list. Join us as we use our values to understand how to get parenting right from the start for your baby and family. If you’re ready to dive even deeper into these ideas and get hands-on guidance in your parenting journey, our Right From The Start course that I run with Hannah & Kelty of Upbringing is here to help. It’s designed to give you the confidence and tools to support your baby’s emotional well-being, strengthen your bond, and parent with intention—right from the start. You'll get access to nine modules of content on topics like supporting baby's sleep, feeding with confidence, and supporting a strong sibling relationship. You'll also learn how to meet your own needs - because you're a whole person with needs, not just your baby's parent. Right From The Start is available anytime, and you get access to a group coaching call once a month for a year after you join. You can give the course as a gift - it might be the most useful baby shower gift anyone can receive (besides the industrial strength laxatives and nipple shields!) Click the image below to learn more about Right From The Start: Other episodes mentioned 081: How can I decide which daycare/preschool is right for my child? 079: What is RIE? 084: The Science of RIE

  --------  

  56:22
• 238: Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope

    Feeling Overwhelmed by Parenting Stress? You’re Not Alone. If you’re exhausted, stretched too thin, and struggling with the stress of parenting, you’re not the only one. Many parents—especially mothers—find themselves running on empty, constantly trying to meet everyone’s needs while their own go unnoticed. Parenting stress can leave you feeling frustrated, drained, and even angry at your kids, whom you love so much. In this episode, we’re unpacking why parenting can feel like too much and what we can do about it. We’ll explore the hidden pressures that push parents toward burnout, the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, and small shifts that can help you feel more supported, more present, and less overwhelmed by the daily stress of parenting. Questions this episode will answer Why does parenting feel so much harder than I expected? Is it normal to feel resentful or emotionally drained from the stress of parenting? Am I an angry parent? Is this just who I am? How can I take care of myself when my kids need me all the time? Why do I feel guilty when I set boundaries or ask for help? What small, doable changes can I make to feel more balanced and present? What you’ll learn in this episode Why so many parents feel like they’re drowning—and why it’s not your fault What’s really behind that constant exhaustion and frustration Practical ways to lighten the load without adding more to your to-do list How small mindset shifts can make parenting feel less overwhelming How to recognize when parenting stress is turning you into an angry parent—and what to do about it This isn’t about striving for perfection or forcing yourself to do more. It’s about finding simple, meaningful ways to care for yourself while still showing up for your family. Parental Burnout Quiz Here's the quiz mentioned in the episode: https://en.burnoutparental.com/suis-je-en-burnout If you snap at your kids more often than you'd like... If your anger seems to come out of nowhere, and you can't stop it... If you've promised your kids you won't yell at them as much, but keep on doing it... ...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help. Sign up for the waitlist and we'll let you know once enrollment re-opens. Click the image below to learn more. Core episodes we reviewed 111: Parental Burn Out 130: Introduction to mindfulness and meditation with Diana Winston 122: Self-compassion for Parents 186: How to meet your needs with Mara Glatzel SYPM 009: How to Set Boundaries in Parenting Other episodes referenced 193: You don't have to believe everything you think

  --------  

  51:43
• 237: 8 reasons your child won’t tell you what’s wrong – and how to help

  Struggling to get your child to open up? Discover 8 key reasons kids resist sharing their feelings—and actionable strategies to create real connection. Why Your Child Won’t Open Up—and What You Can Do As parents, we deeply want to support our children, but when we ask, “What’s wrong?” and get silence or resistance in return, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Why won’t they just tell us what’s going on? Whether your child is too young to articulate their emotions, brushes off your questions, or reacts with defiance, you’re not alone. In this episode of Your Parenting Mojo, we explore the real reasons children struggle to express their feelings and how we, as parents, might unintentionally make it harder for them to share. You’ll learn practical, connection-based strategies to shift these dynamics, helping your child feel safe enough to open up—without forcing the conversation. The episode builds on the ideas in my book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World. Questions This Episode Will Answer: Why does my child shut down when I ask about their feelings? How can I encourage my child to express emotions—even if they can't or don't speak? Could how I talk to them make them less likely to share? How should I respond when they say, “I don’t care” or “Stop talking like that”? How can I build long-term trust so they confide in me more? What common parenting habits discourage open communication without us realizing it? What strategies can I use to make problem-solving conversations feel safe and collaborative? What You’ll Learn in This Episode 8 key reasons why kids resist sharing their emotions. How to recognize when your child wants to open up but doesn’t know how. The hidden impact of parenting focused on getting the child to behave correctly—and how to shift toward emotional connection. How to reframe conversations so your child knows you see, know, and love them for who they really are. Actionable tools to help your child feel safe expressing their emotions. Taming Your Triggers If you see that your relationship with your child isn’t where you want it to be because: you’re feeling triggered a lot by your kids’ behavior... they’re not willing to share how they’re feeling with you because they’re afraid of your reaction... they think you’ll just try to get THEM to change... ... then the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you. Sign up for...

  --------  

  25:46

Meer Kind en gezin podcasts

Trending Kind en gezin -podcasts

Over Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive