The Anxious Achiever

What if peak performance isn’t about grinding harder but mastering your inner world? In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Michael Gervais, high-performance psychologist and expert to elite athletes and leaders, to talk about what truly drives motivation, focus, and sustainable success. We dive into the science behind activation and anxiety, how to find your intrinsic drivers, and why self-discovery is the foundation of mastery. Michael shares how learning to regulate your nervous system, train your attention, and build mental skills can transform the way you perform under pressure. Get ready to rethink motivation, focus, and what it means to truly master your mind. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why mastering your inner world matters more than external success. 03:15 How anxiety can be trained instead of feared. 06:30 The science behind activation and peak performance. 09:00 Why elite performers don’t wait to “feel motivated”. 11:00 How to stop letting the external world control your internal state. 14:30 Why unmanaged stress drains your energy fast. 16:15 The difference between drive and motivation. 18:45 Why do you need both intrinsic vs. extrinsic rewards? 21:00 What truly motivates high performers. 23:30 Why ADHD isn’t a lack of attention but equal attention. 27:15 How to train focus and avoid mental burnout. 34:00 Why meditation strengthens attention like a muscle. 37:15 How mindfulness creates insight and wisdom. 39:00 What elite coaches teach about staying coachable. 42:15 Why fear of people’s opinions blocks growth. 45:45 What’s the difference between performance-based identity vs. purpose-based identity? 49:15 How to build a daily purpose mindset. 52:45 Why purpose doesn’t need to be grand to be powerful. 54:30 Tools to regulate anxiety and emotional activation. 56:00 Leadership lessons from Bill Russell on teamwork. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Michael: on LinkedIn @drmichaelgervais + Instagram @michaelgervais

Perfectionism often looks like ambition, discipline, and excellence until it quietly turns into anxiety, burnout, and relentless self-criticism. In this episode, I’m joined by Jordana Confino, former Yale-trained lawyer turned coach, to talk about the cost of maladaptive perfectionism and why so many high-achieving professionals mistake self-criticism for motivation. We dive into the difference between sustainable excellence and fear-driven overachievement, the neuroscience behind why beating yourself up actually hurts performance, and what it really takes to move from being your own worst enemy to becoming your most effective ally. Tune in if you’re ready to achieve more with less self-punishment. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What does maladaptive perfectionism look like in anxious achievers? 04:30 How perfectionism becomes a strategy for proving worth. 11:00 What’s the difference between maladaptive perfectionism and sustainable excellence? 15:15 How self-criticism harms performance at a neurological level. 17:00 Why perfectionist lawyers report lower ambition. 21:00 What psychological safety teaches us about mistakes and growth. 27:00 How law school culture amplifies perfectionism and anxiety. 31:00 Why billable hours reward inefficiency and burnout. 36:45 Why perfectionists often struggle with productivity and time management. 40:00 The most powerful tool for anxious achievers. 46:00 How neuroplasticity makes lasting change possible. 50:00 Can self-criticism ever be useful motivation? 55:45 Why the best leaders tolerate short-term discomfort to prevent burnout. 59:30 The invisible cage anxious achievers build for themselves. Resources + Links Jordana Confino's study "The Perfectionist Paradox." Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jordana on LinkedIn: @jordanaconfino

Asking for what you need at work wasn’t an accommodation, but a leadership skill. In this episode, I sit down with Stew Friedman, the pioneer of Total Leadership and founding director of Wharton’s Work-Life Integration Project, to rethink how we approach work, life, and leadership. We talk about why so many high performers feel guilty asking for flexibility, time, or support and why leaders who understand their whole lives are actually better, more sustainable performers. Stew also breaks down the Total Leadership model, which centers on being real, being whole, and being innovative to create what he calls “four-way wins” across work, home, community, and self. Get ready to stop asking for permission and start leading your life with intention. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why asking for what you need at work feels like an accommodation. 06:00 How work, home, community, and self must work together. 10:00 Why self-knowledge is the foundation of sustainable leadership. 17:45 What “four-way win” experiments look like in life. 22:15 Why flexibility works best when framed as mutual value. 27:30 How leaders unintentionally block agency on their teams. 32:30 What is the biggest mistake people make when asking for support? 38:30 What mental health and leadership have in common.  43:30 Why different minds require different leadership models. 49:00 What makes us whole? Resources + Links Learn more about Total Leadership Org HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Stew Friedman on LinkedIn

We throw the word toxic around a lot at work, but how do you actually know when an environment is truly toxic versus just uncomfortable, stressful, or not the right fit? In this episode, I'm bringing back this conversation with my late friend and colleague Benish Shah to talk about workplace toxicity, psychological safety, covert bias, weaponized vulnerability, and more. Benish shares tips for identifying toxic patterns, protecting yourself in unsafe environments, and making thoughtful exit plans when leaving isn’t immediately possible. Tune in to learn how to recognize toxicity, reclaim your clarity, and protect your well-being at work. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Are workplaces more toxic, or do we just have better language now? 03:30 How leadership avoidance quietly creates toxic cultures. 09:00 What is toxicity? 13:00 A self-assessment to determine if your workplace is toxic. 18:15 How to know if it’s actually safe to be vulnerable at work. 22:00 How to make an exit plan when you can’t quit right away. 29:00 Tips if your toxic boss is making your job unbearable. 34:30 How to safely check if others are experiencing the same toxicity. 37:30 What to do if you are the toxic one. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Is Taylor Swift an anxious achiever? In this episode, I sit down with Kevin Evers, editor at Harvard Business Review Press and author of "There's Nothing Like This: The Strategic Genius of Taylor Swift", to talk about Taylor Swift’s career through the lens of anxiety, ambition, and strategic brilliance. We dive into how Taylor’s striving energy, emotional vulnerability, and relentless work ethic fueled one of the most extraordinary careers in modern music. We also talk about her songwriting as a mirror for professional heartbreak, confidence built through insecurity, and why loving your work deeply may be the most powerful advantage of all. Get ready to rethink anxiety, ambition, and what it really takes to build something iconic. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Is Taylor Swift an anxious achiever? 03:00 Why Reputation resonates so deeply with anxious achievers. 07:15 How Taylor advocated for herself at just 13 years old. 15:30 How anxiety drives preparation, precision, and performance. 17:45 What the Eras Tour reveals about exceeding expectations at scale. 19:45 The physical and emotional cost of relentless performance. 22:30 Why did Taylor Swift want to become a pop star? 25:00 Why the Speak Now era marked a pivotal reinvention. 29:00 What Miss Americana revealed about the hidden costs of success. 31:00 What is productive paranoia? 37:00 How total creative control keeps Taylor authentic through every era. 42:30 Leadership lessons from humility and fan obsession. 47:45 Professional heartbreak and emotional ownership of work. 54:45 What makes Taylor Swift so successful? Resources + Links Get your copy of There’s Nothing Like This by Kevin Evers Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Kevin Evers: on LinkedIn @kevin-evers1 + Instagram @there_is_nothing_like_this