This Naked Mind Podcast

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to psychological and emotional abuse in a marriage. 

The answer to "why I use alcohol to cope" is rarely what you expect. For Will, it’s buried in a need for control he's carried since a chaotic childhood. For Kathleen, it comes from decades of being the one everyone else leans on. Coaches Cole and Zoe help Will and Kathleen take steps towards freeing themselves from that weight.

Will discusses:

Decades of using alcohol to quiet a busy brain, and what happens after the first beer

Why knowing the pattern isn’t enough

The childhood fear of instability that shows up as a desperate need for answers and control

Coach Cole’s reframe: curious versus combat, connect versus control

A body scan moment where he notices tension in real time and releases it

The video game map metaphor — taking the next step without needing to see the whole path

Kathleen discusses:

Being introduced to alcohol at 16 as a social crutch when she moved to a new town

What her mother modeled, and how she replicated it without realizing it for decades

The hero child dynamic — being her father’s favorite and her mother’s confidant, and what that cost her

A 28-year emotionally abusive marriage, and how alcohol became her numbing agent

Learning to ask for what she needs directly, rather than hoping her husband picks it up

The unexpected parallel: she’s now modeling her mother’s behavior by going alcohol-free

…and more

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol so you can feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Episode links:

More on this episode - https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/why-i-use-alcohol-to-cope-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-925

Start your alcohol freedom journey: https://nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Healing Through Self-Love: Cole’s Naked Life — E737 — https://thisnakedmind.com/healing-through-self-love-coles-naked-life-e737/

Healing Emotional Pain Without Alcohol - Reader’s Question - EP 706 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-706-readers-question-healing-emotional-pain-without-alcohol/

Reclaiming Your True Self: Alcohol Freedom Coaching — E770 — https://thisnakedmind.com/reclaiming-your-true-self-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e770/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠

Trigger warning: This episode contains references to the alcohol-related death of a family member.

Is it possible to build something meaningful out of the worst loss of your life? For Kelly, the answer arrived just five months after she got free from alcohol herself. That's when her brother died from the same thing she'd spent years measuring her own drinking against. She built Perfectly Made AF in response, a nonprofit funding alcohol freedom scholarships in his memory and an annual Boulder gala designed to prove an alcohol-free life is anything but boring. Kelly's Naked Life story traces how she got there, from years of comparing her own drinking to his, to the two days after his funeral when she had to choose what came next.

Kelly and Coach Cole discuss:

What almost happened two days after her brother's funeral, five months into her own alcohol-free life

Why "I'm not him" was the comparison that let her avoid her own drinking for years

The message she wrote her brother a month before he died, and why it came too late

How a scholarship fund turned into a full nonprofit with 18 people currently enrolled

The thinking behind this year's Perfect Gala, from a mobile planetarium to a "grounding portal"

Why Kelly keeps the scholarship recipients anonymous, even from herself

What she's hoping to build next, from new partnerships to content for schools

And more on decision fatigue, mommy wine culture, and what it really means to find your own path to alcohol freedom…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

nakedmindpath.com

https://www.perfectlymadeaf.com/

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-grief-built-perfectly-made-af-ep-924/

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story: Paul Churchill | EP 61 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-61-naked-life-story-paul-churchill/

Reader Question - Do I Need to Quit Drinking Forever? | EP 296 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-296-reader-question-do-i-need-to-quit-drinking-forever/

Reclaim Your Life | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E762 - https://thisnakedmind.com/reclaim-your-life-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e762/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of traumatic brain injury. 

Are you drinking to escape your life? Catherine was. She called it the escape room. Rachael didn't use those words, but she'd no doubt agree with them. If you're drinking to escape a life that feels like too much, too heavy, and too demanding, you'll want to tune in. Catherine and Rachael work with Coaches Hayley and Zoe to stop seeing alcohol as a way out, and start learning how to stay present even when life feels like too much.

Catherine discusses:

The "escape room" she built around wine and what happened when she closed the door for good

The in-control/out-of-control list Coach Hayley walks her through, and why it matters

Grieving the life she thought her daughter would have, and what getting stuck in that future costs her

The turnaround: "I'm willing to consider things might be okay if I don't try to fix it"

Rachael discusses:

Why she's more nervous about Saturday night than Friday night, and what that tells her

The reference library metaphor Coach Zoe uses to explain why stopping drinking doesn't reset old patterns

Her alive goal, which came out of the session word by word, and how alcohol dropped off the moment she said it out loud

How the conversation with her husband changes when she stops assuming what he's thinking

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Drawing from personal experiences, Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. She believes that with the right mindset, anyone can change their life at any time.

Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol so you can feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Zoe taught Pilates for 15 years. She has four adult children and more animals than the Ark ever had.

Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Episode links: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

How To Break The Habit Of Drinking Due To Stress | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 776 – https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-break-the-habit-of-drinking-due-to-stress-enough-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e776/

How To Turn Your Brain Off Without Drinking | Naked Life Stories | EP 804 – https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-turn-your-brain-off-without-drinking-e804/

EP 114: Reader Question – How Do I Handle My Social Anxiety Without Alcohol? – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-114-reader-question-reader-question-handle-social-anxiety-without-alcohol/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠

For 32 years, Travis was a functional drinker who never got a DUI, never missed a day of work, and never fit the picture most people hold when they hear "drinking problem," but spent years hiding beers in the garage, lying to his wife about the count, and woke up after one Christmas morning knowing his kids had been worried Santa wasn't coming. He came to This Naked Mind thinking he might be able to moderate. He joined The Path in November 2023, had one more bad birthday, and threw out the last two bottles of a Wisconsin six-pack the next day. He's at 757 days alcohol-free. Coach Cole Harvey is here to hear him tell it.

Travis and Coach Cole discuss:

The pit party at 18 that set up a chase he'd spend the next 32 years trying to get back to

Hiding beers in the garage, counting them in his head and lying about the number, and why the "alcoholic" label kept him from asking for help for years

The Christmas his kids were worried Santa wasn't coming, and why even that didn't break the cycle

A 2023 job loss that cracked things open, and the visualization exercise during a free Zoom that convinced him to commit to The Path

What happened on his 50th birthday and the two bottles he threw out the next day

The parallel mental health journey that changed what he understands about why he was drinking in the first place

Nearly 30 pounds lost and one afternoon of yard work that proved something had shifted in his body

What his 14-year-old daughter said to her friends about her dad, and why Travis still can't get through it without getting chills

And more on neural pathway habits, the functional drinker's relationship with the "alcoholic" label, and finding your own path to alcohol freedom...

Episode links: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story — Kat | NLS | EP 521 — https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-521-naked-life-story-kat/

Reader Question – Am I an Alcoholic? | EP 58 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-58-reader-question-alcoholic/

How To Stop Drinking To Avoid Emotions | AFC | EP 845 — https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-to-avoid-emotions-afc-e845/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠

Andrew and Adele both know why they need alcohol to socialize — or think they do. For Adele, 64 and living in a New Zealand wine region, it started at 14 in the back of a school bus and never really stopped being about fitting in. For Andrew, who is navigating a late-life ADHD diagnosis and the possible end of his marriage, the answer turned out to go a lot deeper than the social stuff.

Andrew discusses:

His late-life ADHD diagnosis and why emotional dysregulation makes the pull toward alcohol so much harder to catch.

Realizing he has never felt safe — and how his body already knew that before he did

What finally made his marriage struggles make complete sense

The hand-on-heart technique from Coach Zoe and how it's helping him regulate in real time

Finding The Path after his wife asked for a divorce — and what group coaching calls unlocked

Adele discusses:

Fifty years of drinking to fit in, starting at 14 in the back of a school bus

Why AA's shame-based language kept her stuck, and what changed when she joined The Path

The five-year-old who felt different, rejected, and vulnerable after her parents' divorce

Struggling to show compassion for her younger self because of choices she hasn't forgiven

The visualization practice that gave her a glimpse of something she hadn't felt in a long time: peace

And more…

Coach Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol so you can feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Zoe taught Pilates for 15 years. She has four adult children and more animals than the Ark ever had. Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Coach Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Drawing from personal experiences, Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. She believes that with the right mindset, anyone can change their life at any time. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Using Alcohol to Cope | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 736 –https://thisnakedmind.com/self-love-is-the-key-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e736/

Building Genuine Connections Without Alcohol | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 821 – https://thisnakedmind.com/building-genuine-connections-without-alcohol-e821/

The Cost of Fitting In | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 785 – https://thisnakedmind.com/the-cost-of-fitting-in-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e785/

CTA

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠