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一席英语·脱口秀:老外来了

Podcast 一席英语·脱口秀:老外来了
一席英语
这档节目-目的是跨文化。 国际化的形式下,我们特别想帮助大家实现双文化视野。带你了解中西方文化差异。

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  • 2024年度热词出炉啦!Brat, Manifest都是什么意思...
    主播:Flora(中国)+ Erin(美国) 歌曲: Forget Me NotsToday, we’re talking about a topic that’s always fascinating (有吸引力的): the Words of the Year (年度热词) chosen by major English dictionaries (各大英语词典).It's already December now. 每到年末的时候各大媒体都会公布自己的“Word of the Year”。These words capture the mood, trends (趋势), and even social challenges (社会挑战) of the past year.How a single word can capture the mood (捕捉情绪) of an entire year, or why certain words suddenly dominate conversations across the globe? We’ll mainly explore Collins’ and Cambridge’s Words of the Year (柯林斯和剑桥词典的年度最佳词汇) for 2024, along with some shortlisted words (入围词汇). 01. Collins’ Word of the Year: brat 柯林斯词典年度热词——“brat”Here is the definition of 'brat' from the Collins Dictionary:如果你叫一个人“brat”,那说明你觉得他表现非常不好or he or she annoys you(让你生气)。Collins chose brat as their Word of the Year, but not in the way we might expect (并不是以我们可能预料的那种方式).Traditionally, “brat” was a pretty negative term (贬义词). It’s pretty much the equivalent of the Chinese term “熊孩子”.However, in 2024, brat got a glow-up. 现在“brat”用来形容一个人:confident(自信),independent(独立),甚至是形容someone with a hedonistic attitude(有享乐主义的人)。How did this happen?It started online. Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram popularized (使流行) the term during the summer because of an album called “Brat” by Charli XCX (因为Charli XCX的一张专辑).People began celebrating what they called “brat energy (能量)” , which is all about embracing personal freedom and indulgence (享受). It’s the opposite of self-denial or rigid discipline (与自我克制和严格的纪律相反).It’s interesting how a word with such a negative connotation (带有如此负面含义的词) has been reclaimed (被重新定义) and given this empowering twist (变化). 在一些语境下(In some contexts),现在叫一个人“Brat”已经是对他的夸奖了(it’s a compliment)。“This is so brat coded.”“Coded” is a slang term (俚语). 它表示强调一种vibe(氛围)或者行为。所以“This is so brat coded.”我们可以理解为“这真的很brat!”比如,当一个人表现得很sassy(自信又时髦),carefree(无忧无虑)or even a little cheeky(厚脸皮),you could compliment them by saying:“You are so brat coded.”So, it’s no longer a bad thing to “be a brat”! Instead, it reflects this generation’s focus on enjoying life and rejecting unnecessary societal constraints (拒绝不必要的社会限制).“Bratsummer”一些人用“bratsummer”形容人live unapologetically(没有歉意地活着),在夏天拥抱自己的playful or confident side(顽皮又自信的一面)。And if we can have bratsummer, then why not bratwinter? Imagine someone rocking their sassiest outfits, sipping hot cocoa (喝着热可可), and living their best life by staying true to themselves (忠于自己), even when it’s freezing outside (即使外面天寒地冻).Whether it’s summer, winter, or any season, the whole brat vibe is about living boldly (大胆地), unapologetically, and embracing whatever makes you feel most you (拥抱一切让你感到最真实自我的东西).Some criticism一些批评当然,有些人会criticize this mindset(批评这种心态)觉得这有些自私(selfish)or even a little indulgent(放纵)。But honestly, it is really about balance. It’s not about being selfish or disregarding others (不是自私或无视他人)—it’s about prioritizing (优先) your happiness in a healthy way. It’s like saying, “Hey, I deserve to enjoy my life and be unapologetically me, as long as (只要) I’m not hurting anyone.”So, this mindset can be empowering. 它鼓励人们主动放弃一些unnecessary guilt (不必要的愧疚) or societal pressures (社会压力) and focus on living authentically (真实生活)。Everyone deserves their brat era!02. Cambridge’s Word of the Year: manifest 剑桥词典年度热词:“manifest”Here is the definition of “manifest” from the Cambridge Dictionary:In Chinese, it means “清楚地显示,显现”.Traditionally, it means to show something clearly, like evidence or emotion. But in recent years, it’s taken on a new meaning:That means to imagine achieving something you want will make it more likely to happen (想象自己实现某件事会让它更有可能成为现实). 有点像中文里的“念念不忘必有回响”。所以当你听到有athletes (运动员)、一些有影响力的人说“I manifested this success.”他们并不是在说他们是通过自己的hard work(努力)实现了成功,而是强调mental focus (心理专注) and positive thinking (积极思考)的作用。It reflects how people are blending mindset techniques with their everyday goals (将思维方式技巧与日常目标相结合).比如,如果你终于花了几个月时间得到了你梦寐以求的工作,你可以说:“I spent months manifesting my dream job, and now it’s finally happened.”如果是终于实现了一次期待已久的旅行,你可以说:“I’ve been manifesting this vacation for so long, it feels like a dream.”The rise of self-help culture 自我提升文化的兴起This word resonates with the rise of self-help culture and the belief that mindset shapes outcomes (心态塑造结果的信念).其实 self-help culture就是平时我们看到的教大家如何更好地生活、如何赚钱、或者提升心理健康的视频。那么“manifest”无非就是强调了乐观的心态(optimism)对结果的作用。It’s interesting how the concept combines optimism with action.A warning (警告) against manifestingProfessor Sander van der Linden of psychology at Cambridge University warned against manifesting.It may lead people to overlook realistic challenges (忽视现实中的挑战) or the need for practical steps (采取实际措施的必要性). It’s a thought-provoking perspective (发人深省的观点).It’s easy to get caught up in (陷入) the idea that just thinking positively is enough. But without action, it feels kind of hollow (空洞).Manifesting alone can’t guarantee success. It’s like hoping to pass an exam without studying. Positive thinking should inspire action, not replace it (积极的思考应该激发行动,而不是取代它).Erin guesses another issue is how people might blame themselves if things don’t work out. Like, “Oh, I must not have manifested hard enough.” It’s kind of ironic (有点讽刺). Manifesting is supposed to reduce stress, but if taken too far, it could actually do the opposite. So, finding a balance is key.03. Cultural significance of words of the year 年度热词的文化意义“Brat” reflects a focus on individuality and hedonism, while “manifest” speaks to self-empowerment (自强) through mindset.年度热词“brat”和“manifest”都体现了身份认同 (personal identity),自我表达(self-expression)和心理健康(mental health)在文化交流中的地位和作用。It’s really interesting to see how language evolves with culture (语言是如何随文化而演变的).节目最后和大家分享两个shortlisted words(入围年度热词的词)。deluluFor example: “I’m totally delulu about marrying my celebrity crush.” 我完全怎么样和我暗恋的明星结婚。That’s intriguing. 大家可以猜一下这里的delulu 是什么意思。romantasyIt feels like a mix between 'romance' and something else. Romantasy是"romance"和另一个词的合体,大家可以猜一下另一个词是什么。Whether you’re manifesting success or embracing your inner brat, we hope you’ve enjoyed learning about this year’s hottest words.请留言告诉我们:What other Words of the Year would you like us to dive into (你还想听我们聊哪些年度热词)? And which one is your favorite (哪一个是你最喜欢的)?
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  • 中国春节,申遗成功!中国年,世界年!
    主播:Wendi(中国)+Erin(美国) 歌曲: Imagine01. 中国“春节”申遗成功了!China’s Spring Festival has officially been inscribed on UNESCO’s Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity list. 中国春节已被正式列入联合国教科文组织人类非物质文化遗产名录。This announcement was made on December 4, 2024, during the 19th session of UNESCO’s Intergovernmental Committee in Asunción, Paraguay. Spring Festival is now globally recognized (被全球公认) as a cultural treasure (文化宝藏), and it’s the 44th Chinese item to be listed, putting China in first place (第一) worldwide for the number of heritage items (遗产项目). The term “intangible cultural heritage” (非物质文化遗产) in English refers to traditions, practices, and expressions passed down through generations (代代相传). The word intangible (无形的) means “not physical” or “not material”, and its opposite is tangible (有形的、可触摸的), like in “tangible assets (有形资产)”. The news is making waves. 消息一出立刻引起轰动。For example, Global Times《环球时报》 ran the headline: "China's Spring Festival inscribed as UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity." 《环球时报》的标题运用了inscribe这个词,这个词让人感觉“春节”不仅是被列入了非遗名单,还有一种被刻在了人类文明的史册中的隆重感。That’s a powerful title.And it’s not just about the celebration—it’s about the deep cultural and historical significance behind it.申遗成功的Spring Festival不仅仅是这个节日本身,还包括它背后深刻的文化和历史意义,比如它所涵盖的很多习俗和民族文化。02. “春节”申遗成功对中国以及全球意味深远A lot of people in the world are no strangers to the Spring Festival. It is the culture and customs behind that truly matters and perhaps can now be better understood by more people abroad (其背后的文化和习俗现在被更多的海外人更好地理解).It’s a recognition (认可) of the rich cultural and historical value (丰富的文化价值和历史价值) of Spring Festival. As Professor Xiao Fang(萧放) from Beijing Normal University (北京师范大学) explained, Spring Festival is a time of emotional connection (情感连接), honoring ancestors (纪念祖先), and celebrating the renewal of time (庆祝万象更新). It reflects family, social, and natural ethics—all tied together in one grand festival (它反映的是家庭、社会和自然伦理都在这个盛大的节日联结在一起). 萧教授强调,it’s a festival of peace and harmony (这是一个和平、祥和的节日)。It’s not just about personal joy but also about sharing values with the world (向世界传递和平、祥和的价值观). Because some of these values, like the connection of family, are naturally and universally shared by humans.With globalization (全球化), Spring Festival is becoming even more influential (更有影响力). Over one-fifth of the world’s population celebrates Lunar New Year in some form (世界上有超过五分之一的人会庆祝春节). 03. 中国和美国过新年有什么不同?在中国,春节几乎都是关于family reunions (家人团聚), festive meals, and traditions like red envelopes (红包), fireworks, and temple fairs (庙会). It’s a time to honor the past and welcome the future (是一个辞旧迎新的时刻). 在这个时候,all your families come back, and everything and everyone slow down (慢下来) to just enjoy the pure happiness (纯粹的幸福)。而在美国,New Year is more about partying and making resolutions (制定新年决心). People gather in Times Square (时代广场) or watch fireworks, but it’s not as family-oriented (以家庭为中心的) as Spring Festival. 美国的新年的概念一般是指元旦。Christmas is more comparable to the Spring Festival (圣诞节更像是春节), because it’s also a mark of time and values the reunion of family.一些美国人庆祝春节更多的会eat dumplings, make paper lanterns(做纸灯笼), or watch dragon dances(看舞龙)。Erin上的一些课程would have all the students participate in paper cutting(会让所有的学生都参加剪纸活动)。Erin在美国生活已经很多年了,对她来说,celebrating the Spring Festival overseas always feels like connecting both of her cultures(在海外庆祝春节总是感觉像是在连接她的两种文化). 04. 为什么文化遗产在全球化的时代很重要?When a tradition becomes part of UNESCO’s Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity list, it’s not just a title. It’s a call to protect and celebrate these practices as treasures that belong to all humankind.Take yoga from India (印度的瑜伽) or flamenco from Spain (西班牙的弗拉明戈舞)—both are vibrant (充满生机的) traditions that have been passed down through generations. When they were recognized by UNESCO, it not only boosted pride in their countries of origin (增强了对自己国家和地区的自豪感) but also encouraged people worldwide to engage with and appreciate them (尝试并欣赏它们). It’s a reminder (提醒) that globalization doesn’t mean cultural absorption (全球化并不意味着文化的同化). Instead, it gives us the chance to share, learn from, and preserve unique traditions (保留独特的传统). Spring Festival is a perfect example—it started as a deeply Chinese tradition but has now become a global celebration. It’s also a reminder that traditions can evolve (传统也可以“进化”). For instance, in the U.S., Erin has seen Spring Festival celebrated with fusion (融合) events—like Chinese New Year parades featuring samba dancers in Brazil (在巴西有桑巴舞主题的新年游行) or dim sum-inspired pop-ups in London (在伦敦有以广东早茶为主题的快闪店). dim sum 粤式点心pop-ups 快闪店/餐厅At the same time, recognition (对文化的认同) like this helps us remember to protect these traditions in their original forms (以原本的形式). It’s easy to lose cultural roots(丢掉文化的根) when adapting to modern lifestyles (适应现代生活方式). That’s where initiatives like UNESCO’s list play a crucial role (关键作用)—they encourage us to preserve traditions in their authentic, unaltered states (在它们正宗的,不被改变的状态下) while still sharing them with the world. And as we mentioned earlier, there are now 44 Chinese practices on UNESCO’s list. It’s not just about celebrating the Spring Festival—it’s about embracing a shared responsibility (承担共同的责任) to protect the diversity and richness of human culture (人类文化的多样性和丰富性). Whether it’s storytelling, festivals, music, or food, each tradition has a story to tell. And every time we celebrate, participate, or even just learn about a tradition, we help keep that story alive for future generations (让这个故事带有生命力地留给子孙后代). 请留言告诉我们:What traditions from your culture do you cherish? Are there any you’d love to see recognized or preserved on a global scale? 你的文化中有哪些传统是你所珍视的?有哪些是你想让全球认可或保留的吗?
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  • “我要结婚啦!”看一席美国主播Selah如何准备她的婚礼...
    主播:Flora(中国)+Selah(美国) 歌曲: Live Your Beautiful LifeAs some of you may know, Selah is getting married in just a few weeks (Selah再过几周就要结婚了). 目前她也在筹备自己的婚礼中,那么本期节目就由Selah带大家走近西方婚礼。A wedding maybe one of the most important events in life, but different cultures have unique ways to celebrate it. Actually, in China nowadays, we have both traditional Chinese weddings (中式婚礼) and Western-style weddings (西式婚礼). 但是这肯定跟西方国家的婚礼还是有区别的。So today, we have Selah to share with us some of the authentic wedding customs from Western culture (正宗的西方婚礼习俗). 01. Before the wedding: bachelorette and bachelor parties 婚前的单身派对Typically, a bride will have a bachelorette weekend (新娘会有一个单身周末) where she goes on a trip or celebrates with all of her closest friends. The groom will also have a bachelor weekend where he does the same (他会做同样的事).And nowadays, a lot of people do creative activities for these parties. Some may have a themed costume night (主题盛装夜: 人们一般会化装出席,一般扮成 fictional characters --虚拟角色). 他们可能会rent a cabin(租一间小屋),甚至是going to another country。Selah打算举办一个chill and simple(轻松又简约的)bachelorette(单身派对)。Her bridesmaids (伴娘团) are coming in town a few days before her wedding, and they are all hanging out together in a large Airbnb (在一个大的爱彼迎民宿里)。Since it’s usually the maid of honor who plans the bachelorette (通常是首席伴娘规划新娘的单身派对), Selah doesn’t know exactly what it will look like. As Maid of Honor, it's your job to ensure you have all activities planned ahead of time (提前计划好所有的活动).Selah knows that it will be full of quality time and celebration. 比如说outings(郊游), having dinner。02. The old traditions at the Western wedding 西方婚礼的老传统传统的西方婚礼中,新娘在结婚时身上都要有四样东西:something old, something new, something borrowed(借来的东西), something blue。There’s actually a meaning behind each of these items. “Something old” represents continuity(延续性), like staying connected to your family or your roots. “Something new” symbolizes optimism (乐观) and hope for the future.“Something borrowed” is about borrowing happiness, usually from a happily married (已婚的) friend or family member. It’s like sharing their good luck.Something blue象征purity(纯洁)、love和fidelity(忠诚). It’s a really old tradition dating back to ancient Rome (古罗马). These traditions are so meaningful.However, this tradition that has started to phase out (逐渐消失), but still is special to some people.phase out 逐步淘汰:逐步停止使用Some are not doing this as much anymore, but it is up to their personal preference (取决于他们的个人喜好).And for good measure, there’s also a tradition to include “a silver sixpence in her shoe (在她的鞋子里放一个六便士银币).” It’s an old British tradition. The sixpence was meant to bring wealth and good fortune (财富和好运) to the couple’s marriage. 这样的话,在西方的传统中,新娘应该是要准备5样东西了。03. Where the ceremony happens? 婚礼仪式在哪里举办?Western weddings can take place in a variety of places, like a church (教堂), a beach, a garden, or even a private venue (私人场所).It’s pretty different from a Chinese wedding nowadays, which is usually held at a hotel or at home (在酒店或者家里举行). 在一些西方国家,婚礼仪式(the ceremony)一般会在一个 church 里举行。而the reception(招待会)会在一个hall or banquet room(大厅或宴会厅)这样的地方。banquet /ˈbæŋkwɪt/ n. 宴会厅现在,中国婚礼一般都是ceremony和reception在一起进行了,仪式进行完之后就可以宴请宾客了,也许在这一点上我们是有区别的。Where is Selah planning to hold her wedding? Selah: “For me personally, I am going to have my wedding in a family friend’s backyard (后院)! It is going to be outdoors and more simple than a huge wedding venue (大型婚礼会场).”Being surrounded by nature must make the whole atmosphere feel so peaceful and special. 一定很自然也很温馨。04. Giving cash or gifts? 随份子还是买礼物?In the West, guests often buy a gift from the couple’s wedding registry (婚礼礼物登记) instead of giving cash.Selah has a wedding registry with essentials (必需品) that she wants to start their life together-like kitchen supplies (厨房用品), house decorations(房屋装饰), tools, furniture (家具) etc. 在收到这些礼物之后,新人一般会write thank you cards (写感谢卡) to everyone who gifted them money or gifts off their registry.05. How do they send wedding invitations? 婚礼请柬怎么发?Often, people will send out “Save the Date (预留日期)” cards to people to tell them to mark that day on their calendars (告诉人们在日历上标出这一天). 也是为了让人们给这一天预留出时间。Then, they will send invitations (发请柬), with a website or QR code on the back (背面有网站或二维码) that directs (引导) people to more information. It’s quite convenient these days.06. Unforgettable moments during the ceremony 婚礼仪式上的难忘时刻On the wedding day, one of the traditions in the U.S. is the “First Look (第一眼).” This is a private moment when the groom sees the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony (这是新郎在婚礼仪式前看到新娘穿着婚纱的私密时刻). It’s often very emotional (激动人心).Another fun tradition is the bouquet toss (扔手捧花)! The bride throws her bouquet over her shoulder to a crowd of single women, and whoever catches it is said to be the next to get married (据说接到手捧花的单身女性就是下一个步入婚姻殿堂的人).It is a sign that there will be good luck to come (好运到来) and whoever is single that catches it, will likely get married next.In many Western weddings, couples write personal vows (个人誓言) to share during the ceremony. They express love, promises, and dreams for their life together. It must take a lot of courage to stand up and share something so personal in front of everyone. But that’s what makes it so beautiful.These are just a few of the many beautiful and interesting wedding traditions from Western culture.请在评论区告诉我们:What else wedding traditions in the West do you know about (你还知道西方有哪些婚礼的习俗呢)?
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  • TikTok“说中文挑战”,老外把“芒果”说成“man gou”...太搞笑了!
    主播:Wendi(中国)+ Erin(美国) 歌曲: HOT TO GO现在,在国外TikTok上,有一个很火的Chinese challenge(中文挑战),已经成为了一个new trend,今天我们就来聊一聊这个话题。01.“说中文挑战”是怎么一回事?在TikTok上,现在有一个“Mandarin Fruit Voices”(用中文说水果名)的挑战,游戏玩法是say the names of fruits in Mandarin to pass levels(说对了水果的中文名就可以过关)。大家都在努力地模仿翻译软件里的中文发音来闯关,真的很搞笑。It sounds easy, but if you don’t know Mandarin, it can get pretty wild. TikTok’s been full of foreigners trying to say “mango” or “banana”, and some of the mispronunciations (错误的发音) are hilarious. 因为英文和中文拼音的拼读很多是不一样的,比如芒果的“果”好像在英文里没有完全对应的发音。Also, 芒果and mango sound so similar, people can get really confused. People are accidentally calling mango “man gou”, and banana sometimes becomes “shang zhao”. “猕猴桃”也是非常有挑战的一个词。It has three characters, probably the most challenging one.Mandarin is tough for almost anyone who didn’t grow up speaking it. There are four main tones (四个声调), and mixing them up changes the meaning. 声调不仅对外国人来说很难,哪怕是中国刚学习拼音的小孩子也会被音调难哭。另一个比较难的点是pronunciation(发音)。It’s different from anything they’re used to in English.有些中文的发音也是其他语言里没有的,比如“香蕉”这两个字的声母“x”和“j”,在英文里是没有这两个音的。Trying to say even basic phrases can lead to funny moments, which makes for great TikTok content. It’s fascinating, challenging, and often hilarious (很搞笑). 对于中文母语者而言,it’s so funny to watch people trying so hard to speak your language。Chinese challenge is more than just a language trend. People are genuinely interested in Chinese culture, and they want to learn through these challenges. Also, TikTok makes it so easy to share successes and struggles, so people really get into it. TikTok这种社交媒体氛围非常轻松,经常就会带起这种“中文热”甚至是“中国文化热”。It’s great because even when they struggle, they just laugh it off or try again. And for Mandarin speakers, it’s super entertaining! 中文母语者在看这些视频的时候会觉得很搞笑。Even some Chinese-speaking users are joining in to give pronunciation tips to help others beat the game. 有些会说中文的人也参与挑战录制了视频,来给其他人做参考。That’s better because the translator may not be so helpful sometimes.其实通过挑战不是最重要的,重要的是give it a go (尝试), and just have fun with it。Perfection isn’t the point—it’s about trying something new. 让参与者对其他文化好奇,以及愿意去了解其他文化也是这个游戏的意义之一。02. TikTok上还有哪些和中国有关的元素很流行?Besides the language challenge, there are other Chinese-inspired trends on TikTok, too.# Get Ready With MeOne of Erin’s favorites is the Get Ready With Me in Chinese trend. 就是用视频记录自己出门前的准备。There are some influencers that speak a limited amount of Chinese (说着有限的中文) whether they learned in school or they are Chinese Americans (美籍亚裔), and they make the popular GRWM videos, but they speak Chinese the whole time (视频全程都在说中文).It’s really fun to watch and often surprising how good they are at getting their point across (使自己的观点得到理解). Even if they don’t know the word for something, they figure out a way to describe it in Chinese using words they do know. 其实这对我们学习其他语言的人也是一个很好的建议,有时候在进行口语表达的时候会担心有不会说的单词,但其实没关系,我们也可以用别的方式把它描述出来。这样能让我们更大胆地开口说。#Chinese food trends中国的美食实在是太多了,特别像boba tea(奶茶),hot pot(火锅)这些在国外都比较火。#Chinese-style makeup People in the west call it “Douyin Makeup” and it is pretty popular to recreate it right now. 中式妆容在TikTok上也非常火。It’s a style that typically involves the use of shimmery eyeshadows (闪闪发光的眼影), really really pink blush (粉嫩的腮红), and lips with a soft, blurred (模糊的) finish. It puts a lot of emphasis on the eye make-up, and netizens are often stunned (被惊艳到) by how beautiful and ethereal the people look. It’s very different from makeup popular in other Asian countries, because it’s very bold and bright (很大胆夸张、明亮). It’s great seeing people get inspired and bring a bit of Chinese culture into their own style. That’s the fun of living in such a globalized and diverse world where you can expose yourself to so many different culture (置身于不同的文化之中). 请留言告诉我们:你还知道哪些在外网上比较火的Chinese-inspired trends?
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  • 有哪些人生道理是你现在才悟到的? ——人际关系篇
    主播:Flora(中国)+ Selah(美国) 歌曲: I Count on MeToday, we will discuss life lessons (人生道理) about interpersonal relationships (人际关系). 有哪些人际关系的道理是你现在才悟到的?Almost every problem in the world can be traced back to relationships (世界上几乎每一个问题都可以追溯到人际关系). Whether it’s misunderstandings, conflicts, or even broader societal issues (更广泛的社会问题), it all often starts with how we connect with one another.其实relationship这个词不光是指romantic relationship(恋爱关系),还包括friendships(朋友关系), relationships with your family and co-workers(家庭关系和同事关系)等等。这些都是属于interpersonal relationships(人际关系)。01. Always be sincere 永远保持真诚Sincerity is the foundation of building a relationship (建立人际关系的基础). 你要向别人display your sincerity (展示你的真诚),关键在于你是否真的真诚待人。Basically, sincere people really mean the things they say.This means that when you care for someone, you really care and not just try to gain something from your relationship with them. You care about them as a human being, and want what’s best for them (你关心的是他们的人格,并希望他们得到最好的).Flora thinks it's a quite valuable quality, especially nowadays when some people are no longer willing to remain honest and tell the truth in many situations. Sometimes they just create a persona (塑造一个人设) for themselves to be liked by others. But that's not who they really are.Just show them your true self; those who like you will naturally be drawn to you. And it's also important to talk about your true feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative. But some may just feel ashamed to talk about these sometimes (但有些人有时会觉得羞于启齿).They might have all sorts of concerns (担忧), like what others think of them. But it can really let each other know where your relationship is headed in the future (让彼此知道你们关系的走向). How you feel in a relationship matters, and it determines whether or not you want to stay in the relationship (决定了你是否想要留在这段关系中). Flora wasn't very good at expressing her feelings, but then she realized that doing so has so many benefits. 比如说简单的一句“今天和你玩得很开心”就会让对方收到一个正向的信号,这意味着你们的关系可能在向好的方向发展。Similarly, alert the other person when you feel offended (感受到被冒犯) and tell them how you feel, which will prevent them from hurting you and your relationship further, even though they may not mean to (即使对方不是故意这样做的).02. Communication is the key 沟通是关键Being able to communicate effectively is an invaluable skill (很宝贵的技能). 世界上绝大部分问题是由人际关系引起的,而其中靠沟通能解决的问题其实是占很多的。You need to be able to communicate what you want, need, feel or think to someone else.Otherwise there can be miscommunications (误解) that lead to walls being built in this relationship (在这段关系中造成隔阂). 有时候换位思考也达不到和解的时候,可能是别人不知道你的需求是什么。这时候能破冰的一点就是:You need to communicate what you want, need directly:Conform? Apology? Help? Or something.Good communication can take time and practice especially as you learn the communication style of that person (尤其是当你了解了对方的沟通方式之后), but it is important.不过大家可能还担心的一个点是:"I want to express my needs directly, but what if he or she thinks I'm just being too sensitive or high-maintenance (太敏感或者让人耗神了)?" 但是,如果对方真的在乎你以及你们的关系的话,只要你的需求是合理的,他大概率应该是不会这么想的。If someone actually tells you, 'You're just too sensitive,' and expresses that they can't accept your feelings, then congratulations—now you know that this relationship isn't right for you. Maybe they are just gaslighting (煤气灯操纵). 遇上这种人的话你要考虑一下你们的关系了。Maybe this relationship isn't right for you.•gaslight vt. <非正式> PUA,心理操控使人产生自我怀疑Part of learning to communicate is also learning to accept and respect differences (接受和尊重差异). Just because someone is different from you, does not mean they are bad or weird. They are just different.It is important to know that someone sees something differently and learn how to accept it and accommodate (适应) it, just like you would want someone to do for you.03. Interpersonal relationships must be maintained 人际关系是需要维持的Especially in today's fast-paced lifestyle, it's easy for us to overlook the maintenance of our relationships (很容易忽视对关系的维持). Especially as an adult, they require investment (需要投入)- time and effort.If you are not watering a seed, how do you expect it to grow into a flower? Even when it became a flower, you had to fertilize (施肥) it, water it, and even catch bugs sometimes.04. Relationships without personal boundaries won't last long. 没有边界感的关系是不会长久的。You should put time and effort to invest, but at the same time, you have to heave boundaries to protect others and yourself. 有时候我们遇到一些和自己特别聊得来的人就容易忘记一些boundaries(边界)。But it's these boundaries that can keep your relationship stable. That's why it's important to gradually learn their boundaries and demonstrate your own (了解他们的界限并展示自己的界限) when dealing with others. 这样双方就都会在一种很舒服的状态下沟通了。Selah has some relationships that take more out of her and take away from her life, in which case she needs to set boundaries. Actually, boundaries have always existed within us; it's just that when they're constantly being crossed, we feel the need to make them clearer (只是当它们不断被跨越时,我们觉得有必要让它们更加清晰).Another similar one is don't compromise your principles for them (不要在自己的原则上有所妥协). 大胆展示自己的原则,对方才会知道和你交谈的范围在哪,而不是疯狂踩雷。05. Relationships: it’s good to consider quality over quantity 注重质量胜于数量Our time and energy are limited. You cannot be best friends with everyone. When you feel that maintaining relationships has taken too much of your energy and time, maybe you should consider which ones are unnecessary.When thinking about relationships, it’s good to consider quality over quantity. So sometimes you may need to have fewer friends to cultivate good and meaningful ones.A bunch of acquaintances may not measure up to a true friend (一群泛泛之交可能比不过一个真正的朋友).Thank you for joining us as we explored these insights together. We hope you feel inspired to cultivate deeper, more meaningful relationships (培养更深层次、更有意义的人际关系) in your life. Until next time, take care and keep fostering those connections!请在评论区告诉我们:有哪些人际交往的道理是你后来才悟到的?
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