Escaping the Trap of Perpetual Girlhood (He’s Not “Avoidant,” You’re Just Bored)
22-1-2026 | 39 Min.
“No one’s coming to save you.”
That's the hardest sentence I have ever had to learn and integrate, and it’s the only one that actually changed my life.
We are living through a strange moment where "healing" has somehow morphed into a refusal to grow the f*ck up. We see it in the "I'm just a girl" memes and the endless obsession with "attachment styles." We’ve convinced ourselves that if we just analyze his trauma enough, or explain our feelings perfectly enough, the mythical door in our minds will open. But the hard truth is that you are likely not dating an 'avoidant' man. You are bored. And you are using 'therapy speak' to avoid the terrifying reality that no one is coming to save you from yourself.
This episode is a cold-water slap in audio form. My goal was to create the initiatory rite our culture never gave me. We’ll be discussing the difference between the Maiden who spills her energy everywhere and the Mother who builds a world that can actually hold her.
In this episode:
· The Trap of Therapy Speak: Why calling him "avoidant" is actually a control fantasy that keeps you stuck. · The Theory of the Clogged Drain: Stop analyzing the blockage and call the plumber. · The Panopticon: How "self-awareness" can actually just be a fancy word for obedience and dissociation. · The "Taylor Swift" Archetype: Why the Puella Aeterna (Eternal Girl) refuses to touch the ground (and reality itself). · The Rescue Party: Breaking the fantasy that fragility equals lovability.
✧ WANT THE FULL EPISODE? ✧ Every week, I share these extended episodes on Patreon. If what you’ve heard here has helped or intrigued you, the full version is where the real magic happens. Your support keeps my work independent and ad-light. Support from my Patrons is how I fund my life and make sure what I do stays honest, unfiltered, and as listener-powered as possible. Head to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to sign up today. Search the episode title and keep listening. (Tip for iPhone users: sign up through Safari or Chrome to skip Apple’s extra fees.)
✧ SIGN UP FOR THE MOODS WAITLIST AT MOODS.WORLD ✧ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
why everyone is hot and no one is happy: bodies as product, desire as labor (pt 2)
20-1-2026 | 1 u. 8 Min.
Dating right now feels exhausting for a reason. Everyone is optimizing themselves (bodies, faces, profiles, vibes) and still walking away from relationships feeling disconnected or quietly resentful. This is part two of an exploration into why everyone is hot and no one is happy. (You can listen to part 1 here.)
In this episode, we’ll expose the modern machinery selling us how to view desire itself. We take a look at how men and women are trained to treat their bodies like projects and why the “ideal” keeps changing without ever delivering real genuine intimacy. Topics include a deep dive into the “fembot” fantasy, gym culture, porn saturation, dating apps, and the profound loneliness that takes root when people are constantly visible but rarely felt and seen in any meaningful way.
You’ll gain an understanding of exactly how these dynamics feed anger and polarization, leading both men and women to keep misreading (and hating) each other, and why dating now feels like a zero-sum game. This is the system we’re all operating inside. Desire doesn’t have to feel like a job, it can start feeling like something human again, if only we collectively wake up to the psyop being spoon-fed to us by culture and media.
⚠️ THE MOODS WAITLIST OPENS JAN 21 2026
Note: We are admitting members in small, manual batches. Once a batch fills, the gates close until the next cycle. The sooner you get on the list, the sooner you get in.
Go to: https://moods.world/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sex in the Third Person: Why You Leave Your Body to Watch Yourself Perform
15-1-2026 | 22 Min.
If you have ever felt like you were watching yourself perform intimacy from a camera lens installed in the ceiling, this is the episode you've been waiting for.
Together, we’ll be diagnosing a very specific, silent fracture in the modern psyche: the gap between edibility (how delicious you look to others) and appetite (what you actually hunger for).
For a generation raised in the digital Wild West, we learned very early on that safety comes from being a "Good Object.” (The goal being to be pleasing and curated.) But the tension required to maintain that image is physically incompatible with the softness required to feel actual pleasure.
We’ll go beyond the standard (and extremely played-out) "empowerment" scripts to look at the darker root causes of why we leave our bodies during sex. We explore the "millennial psyop" of early internet conditioning and the concept of functional dissociation.
From the esoteric concept of the Eidolon (the phantom double) in Greek mythology to a shocking historical reframe involving Napoleon Bonaparte’s (kinky af) letters, we’ll dismantle every aspect of performative sex. This episode is your permission to stop performing for a ghost and finally inhabit the first person.
UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE ON PATREON, CLICK HERE (or visit patreon.com/backfromtheborderline). To know as soon as we drop the MOODS waitlist, follow us on Instagram at @moods.codex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
why everyone is hot and no one is happy: the men women want (part 1)
13-1-2026 | 57 Min.
Modern dating is currently stuck in a strange paralysis. Everyone looks better than ever, but actual desire is missing. Men are told to become sculpted superheroes to win affection. Women are told they should want them. Almost no one is satisfied with the result. This is part one of an investigation into why.
In this episode, we bypass the gym-optimized fantasy to look at the figures that actually haunt the female imagination. We examine the Wounded Romantic and the Beautiful Monster. We also uncover the "missing third" option that rarely gets airtime.
We track the Gothic lineage of the female gaze to answer an uncomfortable question. Why do we feel so pulled toward men who feel dangerous and damaged? Why does safety often feel boring while the wound feels like chemistry? It's time to understand where our fantasies actually come from. The sanitized stories we’re fed about attraction no longer match our lived experience.
To join the MOODS waitlist, follow us at @moods.codex
Join the BFTB Patreon community and become a Premium Submarine, where you’ll unlock hundreds of hours of paywalled content I’ve been building since 2021. ⟁ Visit backfromtheborderline.com for free resources, updates, and everything else I offer. Or go straight to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join now. Once you’re in, you’ll get a private feed you can add to Spotify, Apple, or your favorite podcast app, so you can listen to every episode I’ve ever released, all in one place. ⟁ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Voice You’re Using Isn’t Yours
08-1-2026 | 23 Min.
Most people move through their day assuming the voice in their head belongs to them. The commentary that explains our reactions, the phrases that seem to pop in our minds when we’re about to speak. Even the language we use to justify what we feel, and why we choose to keep going inside this confusing-as-hell human experience in our meat suits. All of that comes from inside us, right?
The disconcerting reality is that if you spend enough time listening to yourself think, you realize that the voice you hear feels weirdly…. Standardized. It’s almost as if it was absorbed for you gradually over time, without your permission.
This episode looks at exactly how that voice is formed through repetition and pressure through environments that reward quick knee-jerk responses and the illusion of “certainty.” The thesis here is that our language has become something we’ve inherited, no longer something we author ourselves.
Together, we’ll explode what it takes to break this collective spell and what it might require for us to learn how to speak from a place within that feels self-directed instead of conditioned.
✧ WANT THE FULL EPISODE? ✧
Every week, I share these extended episodes on Patreon. If what you’ve heard here has helped or intrigued you, the full version is where the real magic happens. Your support keeps my work independent and ad-light. Support from my Patrons is how I fund my life and make sure what I do stays honest, unfiltered, and as listener-powered as possible.
Head to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to sign up today. Search the episode title and keep listening.
(Tip for iPhone users: sign up through Safari or Chrome to skip Apple’s extra fees.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of 'disorder' or 'dysfunction', but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner psychological brink we all experience. Everyone has found themselves on the edge, in that liminal space where the old self falls apart and the new Self emerges. Here, we explore what it means to undergo true emotional alchemy: that ancient and primordial process of falling apart, confronting the underworld of our psyche, and falling back together into someone stronger, wiser, and more whole.Many highly sensitive people who identify with the seemingly never-ending list of diagnostic mental health labels contained within ‘the bible of psychiatry’ (the DSM) share the same underlying sense of being irreparably broken, disconnected from their intuition, and paralyzed by life’s existential questions. I believe the resulting—and perfectly understandable—chronic feelings of emptiness and spiritual starvation are the TRUE causes of our current collective ‘mental health crisis.’Together, we’ll dive into depth psychology, mythology, human consciousness, critical psychiatry, and the impact of trauma to help you begin the process of emotional alchemy. This exploration will help you get to the root cause of your suffering and free yourself from the toxic shame, limiting beliefs, and mental programming that have kept you locked in the chains of your past.In an era where mental health and spirituality are too often commercialized, I’m not here as a guru with a quick fix to sell you. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ‘healed’ or ‘cured.’ There is no return to some mythical state of pre-trauma purity, but rather a continuous spiral of unbecoming, unlearning, and transformation. As a fellow seeker, I will be there in your ear, walking alongside you on your path toward wholeness as a sort of parasocial big sister. That, I can promise.By integrating the concepts we explore together, you’ll begin to see that anyone—even you—can come back from the borderline.CRAVING MORE? Visit backfromtheborderline.com to dive into my universe, connect with me, access my Patreon, and discover more about my journey and work. Don’t forget to follow Back from the Borderline so new episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays automatically drop into your podcast feed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.