Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur

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You've been trying to move forward. Applying, planning, building, showing up. And still something feels like it's dragging. One foot in the new world, one foot in the old. Your mind wants to go, but your body won't follow.
This episode names what that heaviness actually is. It is not stuckness. It is grief. For a version of yourself you invested everything into, a version the world never gave you permission to mourn.
Dr. Amen Kaur explains why we carry unprocessed experiences like suitcases full of apples we never learned to eat, why the costume you put on as a child to earn love became so convincing that even you forgot it was a costume, and why your nervous system is still running an alarm that was installed when you were seven in a house you no longer live in.
Drawing on William Worden's four tasks of mourning, Carl Rogers' theory of incongruence, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris's research on adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress, and Albert Bandura's self-efficacy research, this episode shows why grief and forward movement are not opposites, why judgment is the lock that closes the doors to your real self, and why love, compassion, and understanding are the key that opens them again.
Includes a client story of a woman who stopped performing, reconnected to what she actually loved, and landed a six-figure role doing it.
Free masterclass: amenkaur.com/masterclass
In this episode:
Why moving forward feels so heavy when you haven't grieved the old identity
The apple metaphor: how unprocessed experiences become suitcases we carry for years
William Worden's four tasks of mourning and why grief is an active process, not a passive one
Carl Rogers and incongruence: the gap between who you truly are and who you learned to be
Dr. Nadine Burke Harris: how childhood stress physically changes the brain and nervous system
The alarm system metaphor: why your body keeps reacting to a house you no longer live in
Why judgment closes doors and love opens them
Albert Bandura's self-efficacy research: why self-trust is trained, not innate
Dr. Amen Kaur's own story of grieving the pivot from her previous podcast
A client story: from work she didn't love to a six-figure role in what she did
One practice for this week: when the heaviness arrives, ask what you need to grieve
Refer
Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence Framework

A walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.

Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclass

About Dr Amen Kaur

Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.

Learn more at amenkaur.com/about

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Instagram: @dramenkaur
TikTok: @dramenkaur
YouTube: @dramenkaur

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

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"I know all my patterns. Why can't I change them?" Maybe you've asked this in the bath, on a long walk, or sitting across from yet another therapist. This episode is for the woman who has reached the honest edge of insight.

You can read other people in three sentences. You can give your friend the advice that finally lands. You know your own patterns better than anyone you've paid to help you. And you still cannot apply a single thing you know to your own life.

You're probably wondering what is wrong with you. But that's the wrong question.

In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur names what almost no one is saying clearly. There is a name for what is happening to you. It is called cognitive bypass. The high-functioning woman's spiritual bypass.

Drawing on Antonio Damasio's research on somatic markers, Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory, and Steven Hayes' work on cognitive defusion, this episode explores why insight has stopped translating into change, why the work you have been doing has reached its edge, and what the missing mechanism actually is.

THIS EPISODE COVERS:

The helper paradox: why you can give what you cannot receive
The relief of recognition, and why it has been mistaken for change
The wounds-as-currency layer almost no one talks about
The fixer identity and the cost of leaving it
What the science actually shows about insight without nervous system regulation
The choice you are quietly facing right now

For the woman who has done all the work and reached its honest edge. What we do here is return, not reinvention.

The free masterclass at amenkaur.com/masterclass goes deeper. It is where starting over actually starts.
Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence Framework

A walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.

Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclass

About Dr Amen Kaur

Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.

Learn more at amenkaur.com/about

Stay Close

Instagram: @dramenkaur
TikTok: @dramenkaur
YouTube: @dramenkaur

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Send us Fan Mail
"I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in the supermarket, the car park, or your own kitchen. This episode is the question nobody has asked you.
"I've lost myself." Maybe you've thought it in your own kitchen at 9.47 on a Wednesday morning, holding a cup of tea you don't remember making. You walk upstairs to find something and forget what you came for. Something in you has been quietly slipping for a while.

You're intelligent. You're capable. You've read the books. You've done the therapy. Maybe the coaching. Maybe the courses, the retreats, the breath work, the parts work. You know your patterns. And you still cannot make yourself move forward the way you used to.

You're probably wondering what is wrong with you. But that's the wrong question.

In this first episode of the show's new era, Dr. Amen Kaur introduces the question that actually matters. Not "what is wrong with me" but "who is in charge of my life right now?" Because the Self at the centre of your intelligence system has stepped back from the seat, and your thinking mind has stepped in to cover. It cannot. Not because you are not clever enough. Because thinking was never designed to run the whole system.

Drawing on the work of Manos Tsakiris at Royal Holloway, Antonio Damasio's research on the Self as an integrator, Sarah Garfinkel and Hugo Critchley on interoception, Eckhart Tolle, and Bessel van der Kolk's neuroimaging findings on trauma and the brain, this episode names what has been happening under the surface and offers one small practice you can carry for the week.

THIS EPISODE COVERS:
Why the woman you used to be feels out of reach, and what is actually happening underneath
The Self as an integrator, not a place in the brain (Tsakiris, Damasio)
The sun and the rays: a new way to understand your intelligence system
The Einstein principle applied to your overthinking
The part of you currently in charge is not your enemy. It is scared.
One question to carry with you every day for the next seven days

This is the first episode of the show's new era. If you have been listening for a while, welcome back. If you are new, welcome. What we do here is return, not reinvention.

The full Human Intelligence Framework lives inside the free masterclass at amenkaur.com/masterclass. It is where starting over actually starts
Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence Framework

A walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.

Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclass

About Dr Amen Kaur

Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.

Learn more at amenkaur.com/about

Stay Close

Instagram: @dramenkaur
TikTok: @dramenkaur
YouTube: @dramenkaur

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Send us Fan Mail
Something in you keeps saying no. And you don't know why. This episode names it.
Eight to ten weeks after a loss,  a redundancy, job loss, relationship, or life shift of any kind, something changes. Moving forward isn't working, even when you're doing everything right. You might have offers. You can't say yes. Something deeper is asking to be heard.
This episode is for high-achieving professional women who can't move forward,  whether it was a redundancy, career transition, being pushed out of a role, or a shift that happened years before and still hasn't shifted inside.
In this episode Dr Amen Kaur covers:
Why losing your job feels like losing yourself 
The science of identity and belonging 
The neuroscience of belonging: why the nervous system treats job loss as physical threat 
Baumeister and Leary's landmark research on belonging as a fundamental human need 
Why women in senior leadership experience greater loneliness and why that matters here
 The freeze response (Polyvagal Theory, Stephen Porges), what it is and why you're stuck in it 
Why borrowed belonging always has a ceiling and what that means for high achievers 
The difference between fitting in and belonging and why you've been doing the first 
Where the belonging you've been searching for actually lives 
Why nothing you've tried - therapy, coaching, mindset work, has been able to reach this
Keywords: redundancy recovery, job loss identity, women career transition, nervous system regulation, belonging and identity, loss of self after redundancy, high achieving women burnout, freeze response career, polyvagal theory women, identity collapse redundancy, female leadership loneliness, career identity crisis, nervous system and belonging, human intelligence framework, BEYOND podcast
Ready to go deeper: amenkaur.com/masterclass
Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence Framework

A walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.

Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclass

About Dr Amen Kaur

Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.

Learn more at amenkaur.com/about

Stay Close

Instagram: @dramenkaur
TikTok: @dramenkaur
YouTube: @dramenkaur

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Send us Fan Mail
You have done the coaching, the therapy. Read the books. Done the mindset work. You know your patterns better than anyone.
And you are still stuck.
This is the episode that explains why. And it is not what you think.
In this episode Dr. Amen Kaur, Human Intelligence Architect and founder of BEYOND - breaks down the real reason so many driven, self-aware women cannot move forward no matter what they try. Drawing on the research of Dr Bessel van der Kolk, Dr Joe Dispenza, Professor Stephen Porges and Dr Peter Levine, she explains why the answer is not in your mindset, not in your strategy, and not in anything your thinking mind can reach.
You will discover:
Why Dr Bessel van der Kolk's research shows your patterns are stored in your body, not your mind
Why Dr Joe Dispenza says 95% of who you are by 35 is unconscious programming your thinking mind cannot override
Why nervous system regulation - the work of Professor Stephen Porges,  is the missing piece every coach and therapist has skipped
The one shift that changes everything  and what you can do today
This episode is for you if you have ever thought - I know exactly what I need to do. I just cannot make myself do it.
You are not the problem. And this episode will show you why.
Subscribe to the show, Because You've Outgrown Who You Were - with Dr. Amen Kaur.
Topics: nervous system regulation, behaviour change, self sabotage, stuck patterns, identity transformation, women leadership, human intelligence, body stores trauma, why therapy isn't enough, mindset not enough, Dr Bessel van der Kolk, Dr Joe Dispenza, Stephen Porges, Peter Levine, somatic healing, success ceiling, women success
Free Masterclass: The Human Intelligence Framework

A walkthrough of the five stage method Dr Amen Kaur uses with high achieving women who have lost themselves inside a career, role or identity that no longer fits.

Watch it free at amenkaur.com/masterclass

About Dr Amen Kaur

Starting Over, Being You with Dr. Amen Kaur is the podcast for high-achieving women who have been quietly losing themselves inside the life they built. Dr. Amen Kaur, PhD, is a former scientist and former Partner at a FTSE 250 company with 20+ years of corporate experience. She teaches the Human Intelligence Framework, the Five Intelligences that orbit Your Self, and how to bring the integrator back online when it has stepped away from the seat.

Learn more at amenkaur.com/about

Stay Close

Instagram: @dramenkaur
TikTok: @dramenkaur
YouTube: @dramenkaur

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.