ENHEARTENED with Xavier Dagba

From intelligence analyst to surrendering to life — in this episode of Enheartened, Xavier Dagba sits down with Erin Gunzelman to explore what happens when the mind’s need to control meets the body’s breaking point.

Erin shares her journey from working as an intelligence analyst—tracking patterns, anticipating outcomes, and learning how systems behave—to facing a season where there were no other options but to trust God. Together, they explore the cost of forcing life, the initiation that comes through pain, and how surrender becomes real when it is no longer a concept.

You’ll hear about relating to life as a living mirror, the mechanics of conscious perception, intuition as infrastructure, and why true love changes the structure of reality. This is a conversation for anyone who has been trying to think their way into freedom—and is ready to let life reshape them instead.

Explore Xavier’s world
Book: Scars of Gold: https://www.scarsofgold.com/
Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/
Website: https://www.xavierdagba.com/

Listen to ENHEARTENED
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363

Connect with Erin Gunzelman
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erin.gunzelman
Offerings: https://stan.store/eringunzelman

Chapters

00:00 Intro — forcing life, control, and trust
01:34 Devotion to truth and opening the conversation
03:50 Pattern-of-life analysis + “spiritual operative” work
14:51 Growing up questioning, fear, and religion
26:32 When pain wins — exhaustion and the end of running
34:34 Relating to life as a mirror
39:49 “Blow my mind, God” — surrender and admitting truth
45:09 Inside the intelligence world + the DOD chapter
54:43 Power, freedom, and the shock of choosing bondage
1:04:42 Light, transparency, and consciousness
1:14:43 Holding paradox + “divine invitations”
1:24:43 Attention, focus, and collapsing the field
1:34:53 Humility, naming, and the myths we live through
1:42:19 Travel, play, and where to find Erin

#Enheartened #XavierDagba #ErinGunzelman #Surrender #HealingJourney #NervousSystem #Intuition #ShadowWork #SpiritualAwakening #Consciousness

What happens in the body when we avoid the truth we’re not ready to face?

In this episode of Enheartened, Xavier Dagba sits down with Lara J. Day — Qigong practitioner, intuitive guide, and creator of the 13 Sacred Nights Oracle — to explore how the body reveals the truth we’re avoiding, and why darkness is not something to fix, bypass, or transcend, but something to stay with.

Together, they explore how unacknowledged truth lives in the body, how avoidance of darkness creates stagnation and symptoms, and how somatic practices like Qigong teach us to listen rather than force healing. This conversation invites a slower, more embodied relationship with truth, healing, and inner seasons. One that honors timing, sensation, and the wisdom found in the dark.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

How the body reveals truths the mind avoids

Why avoiding darkness comes at a somatic cost

How to navigate seasons of darkness and winter

How Qigong supports embodied listening and integration

The difference between spiritual insight and nervous system truth

Why healing requires staying present with what we usually turn away from

Explore Xavier’s Work

📖 Scars of Gold — Book & free resources:
https://www.scarsofgold.com

✉️ Join the newsletter:
https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/

🌐 Website:
https://www.xavierdagba.com

🎧 Listen to Enheartened on:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363

Connect with Lara J. Day

Website: https://www.larajday.com
13 Sacred Nights Oracle: https://www.beyondword.com
Instagram, Facebook & TikTok: @larajday

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 – When the body signals unspoken truth
02:45 – Speaking truth and somatic symptoms
06:10 – Discovering Qigong through lived experience
10:30 – The body as the primary site of truth
15:20 – Why we avoid stillness and darkness
20:05 – The cost of bypassing the dark
25:40 – Learning to stay instead of fix
31:10 – Cycles, seasons, and inner timing
37:30 – Darkness as initiation, not pathology
44:00 – Qigong as a practice of listening
50:15 – Slowness, patience, and nervous system maturity
57:40 – Creating the 13 Sacred Nights Oracle
1:05:10 – Embodiment versus insight
1:12:30 – Trusting the body’s intelligence
1:20:00 – Integration and closing reflections

#embodiment #somatichealing #qigong #shadowwork #darkness #truth #healingjourney #spiritualintegration #bodywisdom #nervoussystem #innerwork #enheartened #scarsofgold #xavierdagba #larajday

Join SEEN — a live group experience for those ready to be fully seen, unleash their gifts and no longer betray their truth:
👉 https://www.xavierdagba.com/seen2

Healing the Masculine Wound: Choosing Love Over Control

In this episode of Enheartened, Xavier Dagba is joined by Jeremie Lotemo for a grounded conversation on masculine healing, emotional maturity, and heart-led leadership.

Together, they explore how control, emotional shutdown, and performance often function as survival strategies within masculinity—and how mature leadership requires presence, accountability, and the capacity to remain open rather than armored.

This conversation addresses emotional repression, relational responsibility, integrity, and the inner work required for men to move beyond dominance or passivity and lead from love without collapsing their strength.

EXPLORE XAVIER’S WORK

Book — Scars of Gold
https://www.scarsofgold.com

Newsletter — Embodied Light
https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com

🎧 Listen to the Enheartened Podcast
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363

ABOUT JEREMIE LOTEMO

Instagram: https://instagram.com/jeremielotemo

Jeremie’s work:
• The Woman He Wants (private group)
https://www.skool.com/the-woman-he-wants/about

Life Lessons from 50 Dates That Went Nowhere
https://connect.byermeas.com/life-lessons-ebook

Dear Men Podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/2v1sdERAJjZg25dewXZrki

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 — Men drifting away from themselves and relationships
02:15 — Avoidance, discomfort, and emotional numbing
05:10 — Growth through exposure and relational risk
08:40 — Jeremie's path into relational and inner work
12:00 — Emotional repression and masculine survival strategies
16:30 — Mental health tools and relational healing
21:10 — Truth-telling, fear, and emotional wounding
27:45 — Safety, expression, and being seen in relationship
33:40 — Masculinity, vulnerability, and emotional responsibility
39:30 — Leading without certainty or control
45:10 — Frustration, guidance, and inner orientation
50:45 — Devotion, integrity, and staying present
56:30 — Partnership, appreciation, and emotional intimacy
1:02:40 — Accountability without self-betrayal
1:09:20 — Control versus grounded leadership
1:15:40 — Witnessing oneself through relationship
1:21:50 — Longing, purpose, and masculine direction
1:28:30 — Inner authority and emotional maturity
1:34:50 — Letting go of performance and expectation
1:41:00 — Integration and closing reflections

#Masculinity #MasculineHealing #EmotionalMaturity #ConsciousMen #RelationalIntegrity #EmbodiedLeadership #ShadowIntegration #LoveOverControl #EnheartenedPodcast

What if some of the ways spirituality is practiced today are actually reinforcing the very suffering they claim to heal?

In this powerful and confronting conversation, Xavier Dagba sits down with Scott Kiloby, founder of the Kiloby Inquiry and a pioneer in trauma-informed nondual work, to explore a hidden pattern affecting countless seekers, teachers, and healers:

Spirituality used as a way to avoid feeling.

Together, they unpack what happens when spiritual concepts are used to bypass pain, suppress emotions, or dissociate from the body, and how this “spiritual illness” quietly keeps people stuck, fragmented, and disconnected from real integration.

This episode is for you if:

You’ve done years of inner work but still feel blocked, numb, or disconnected

You sense that “letting go,” “transcending the ego,” or “staying high-vibe” has cost you access to your humanity

You’re ready for a grounded, embodied, trauma-aware approach to awakening

You want spirituality that includes the nervous system, the body, and emotional truth

This is not a rejection of spirituality. It’s an invitation to make it honest, embodied, and liberating.

ABOUT SCOTT KILOBY

Scott Kiloby is the founder of Kiloby Inquiry, a trauma-informed approach to nonduality that directly addresses emotional repression, compulsions, and nervous system dysregulation.

Website: https://kiloby.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/scottkiloby

EXPLORE XAVIER’S WORK

Book — Scars of Gold
A framework for shadow integration, self-liberation, and embodied truth
https://www.scarsofgold.com

Newsletter — Embodied Light
Weekly reflections, teachings, and invitations
https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com

🎧 Listen to the Enheartened Podcast
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 — Introduction: the hidden cost of spiritual avoidance
02:30 — Scott Kiloby’s background and path into inquiry
06:10 — When spirituality becomes another addiction
10:45 — Spiritual bypassing vs. true liberation
15:05 — Trauma, dissociation, and the nervous system
20:20 — Why “letting go” often doesn’t work
26:30 — Avoiding feelings in the name of awakening
32:10 — The problem with transcendence without embodiment
38:25 — How suppression masquerades as peace
45:40 — Spiritual suppression and emotional numbness
52:15 — Nonduality, inquiry, and meeting what’s here
58:00 — What real integration actually requires
1:05:10 — Bringing awareness into the body
1:12:40 — A more honest path to freedom
1:21:00 — Closing reflections and invitations

#SpiritualBypassing #EmbodiedSpirituality #ShadowIntegration #TraumaInformed #SomaticHealing #NonDuality #EmotionalHealing #SpiritualAwakening #InnerWork #EnheartenedPodcast

JOIN THE RETREAT (this Saturday):

UPROOTING THE RELATIONAL SHADOWS THAT HIJACK YOUR MISSION: THE RETREAT
➡️ Live Saturday, December 13th — Replay Included
https://www.xavierdagba.com/retreat

ABOUT THIS EPISODE — How Your Mother & Father Wounds Hijack Your Purpose

In this episode, I explore one of the deepest truths I’ve seen in my own journey and in the lives of every lightworker, creative, and soul-led entrepreneur I’ve worked with:

Your mission is not being blocked by strategy.
Your purpose is being hijacked by your relational blueprint.

We look at how your mother and father wounds, inner child dynamics, attachment patterns, and the internalized voices of your caregivers shape:

your ability to be visible,

your emotional resilience,

your capacity to lead from the heart,

your relationship with responsibility,

your ability to receive support and abundance,

your confidence in shining your light,

and your willingness to take up space.

We also explore the toxic mix of the inner child + inner critic that quietly sabotages creativity, leadership, and self-expression, especially for lightworkers and mission-led leaders.

And because holiday season relational patterns are activating right now, this episode is also a guide to stay sovereign rather than spiraling into old dynamics.

If you’ve ever wondered why you can KNOW your purpose but still feel unable to live it, this episode will give you the map.

ORDER MY BOOK — Scars of Gold

Until Saturday, December 13th, the eBook is only $2.99 on most online retailers:
Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and more.

Claim your bonuses here when you register your order:
https://www.scarsofgold.com

LISTEN TO THE ENHEARTENED PODCAST

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363

If this resonates, subscribe, leave a review & share the episode with someone who needs this.

CHAPTERS

00:00 – Why you’re not stuck: the hidden relational imprint
01:20 – Strategy isn’t the issue — inner fragmentation is
03:00 – The holiday activation window & why this work matters now
04:10 – You learned to abandon your light in relationships
06:00 – The core fears behind self-expression
07:15 – Childhood fragmentation & staying attached
09:05 – Mapping the inner archetypes (Mother, Father, Child, Critic)
11:30 – When the inner critic becomes spiritualized
13:05 – Inner mother distortions: overgiving, collapsing boundaries
15:00 – Inner father distortions: visibility, authority & decisiveness
17:00 – When the inner child runs your mission
19:00 – Becoming the leader your light deserves
20:30 – Personal story: relational patterns surfacing during your book launch
22:00 – Recognizing ancestral patterns & internalized narratives
25:00 – Purpose as a trauma bond: the anxious attachment to your mission
27:15 – Why the holidays amplify relational wounds
29:00 – Personal story: leaving your PhD & early father imprints
33:00 – Breaking the inherited template in 2018
36:00 – 2026: The year of sovereign leadership
38:10 – What the retreat will help you reclaim
39:05 – Closing invitation & gratitude

#shadowwork #innerchildhealing #motherwound #fatherwound #relationalhealing #purposework #selfliberation #nervoussystemregulation #lightworkers #spiritualentrepreneur #somatichealing #archetypes #attachmenthealing #innerauthority #healingjourney #EnheartenedPodcast #XavierDagba #ScarsOfGold #relationalalchemy #leadershiphealing