Pillow Talks

Ready to turn things around in the bedroom?

We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction.

Where do your legs go? How do you keep your partner from popping out? And what exactly is he supposed to be doing while you're up there?

We're answering all your burning questions about Reverse Cowgirl, including a few you probably didn't even know you had.

From finding your favorite angle to getting more clitoral stimulation, we're sharing the little adjustments that can make this position a whole lot more fun for both of you.

In this episode, you'll hear:

How to get into reverse cowgirl without accidentally kicking your partner in the face

The simple pelvic tilt that can completely change how this position feels

How to keep your partner from popping out, plus how to avoid accidentally bending his penis

Why reverse cowgirl can be great for clitoral stimulation, especially if you're a little shy about touching yourself

How to stay connected when you can't see each other's faces

What the partner on the bottom can do with their hands to make things even better

The pillow trick that makes reverse cowgirl more comfortable if you struggle with straddling.

Whether reverse cowgirl is already in your regular rotation or you've been curious about giving it a go, you're about to discover some new ways to make this position feel REALLY good.

Grab your partner, press play, and get ready to turn things around.

Ready to add a few more favorites to your bedroom rotation?

Reverse cowgirl is just the beginning, friends.

If you're ready to explore new angles, discover what feels amazing for your bodies, and have a whole lot more fun together, Ultimate Sex Positions is for you.

You'll get:

47 tastefully illustrated sex positions.

Step-by-step instructions that show you how to get into each position, move together, and find what feels best.

Tips and techniques for more pleasure, so you can experiment with different sensations and discover new favorites together.

Whether you're feeling adventurous or just want to put a new spin on an old favorite, there's something in here for every couple.

Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex

Stay Connected

Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR

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👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS

👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com

👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow

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Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another shot.

Is this normal?!

We're back with another round of Is This Normal?, where we answer your real-life sex and relationship questions and get into all the things you've been wondering about.

And this week's questions are giving us PLENTY to talk about.

We're unpacking some pretty interesting bedroom situations and sharing our thoughts on what's worth exploring, what deserves a conversation, and why your version of normal doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

In this episode, you'll hear:

Is it normal for your husband to create AI images and videos of the two of you having sex?

What it means if you're only having sex four times a year, and whether there's a magic number couples should aim for

What to do when your partner says she enjoys sex, but you're not convinced

Whether it's okay to take a position or sex act off the table after one bad experience

How to talk about trying something again when one partner is curious and the other isn't interested

Some of these questions might sound familiar. Others might have you thinking, "Wait, people do that?!"

Either way, you're going to want to hear our answers.

Press play, then ask your partner which question surprised them the most.

Ready to discover your next favorite position?

One meh experience doesn’t mean you have to write off trying new things. And you definitely don’t have to retry something you didn’t enjoy.

If you’re curious about what else might feel good, Ultimate Sex Positions gives you 47 positions to explore together, with clear instructions that take the guesswork out of trying something new.

Inside, you’ll get:

47 illustrated sex positions, so you can see exactly what goes where

Step-by-step instructions for getting into and out of each position

Tips for moving together and finding your rhythm, so you can discover what works for your bodies

You might find a new favorite, rediscover an old one, or have a really good time experimenting together.

Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: http://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR

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👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your physical intimacy?

Oh, we've got some opinions about these ones.

It's time for another round of Am I the Asshole?, where we read your real-life relationship stories, unpack the bedroom disagreements, and give our verdicts on who's in the wrong.

In this episode, you'll hear:

The husband who loves going down on his wife, but has some very specific rules about what happens afterward

Whether refusing to kiss your partner after oral sex is a reasonable boundary or a bedroom double standard

How weight gain can affect physical intimacy, and what happens when partners disagree about it

What to do when one partner isn't enjoying the sex they're having

Our verdicts on each story, including where we agree, disagree, and think things get a little more complicated

Think you already know who's in the wrong? You might change your mind once you hear the other side.

Grab your partner, press play, and see if you agree with our verdicts. We have a feeling a few of these are going to spark some pretty interesting conversations.

Want to give your partner a few more reasons to say, "Do that again"?

Let's talk about putting those hands and mouths to VERY good use.

The Ultimate Foreplay Guides give you step-by-step techniques for fingering, oral sex, handjobs, and blowjobs, with expert guidance on exactly how to touch, tease, and pleasure your partner.

You'll get separate guides for vulvas and penises, packed with techniques you can practice, experiment with, and make your own.

And who knows? You might just discover a new favorite move tonight.

Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

==========================

THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR

==========================

👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS

👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD

👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth.

Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it comes to getting things started in the bedroom, today’s episode is here to help!

We surveyed our audience, and only 17% of people said they’re happy with how initiation is going in their relationship. That means a lot of us are struggling with:

🚨 Feeling like one partner is always initiating while the other never does

🚨 Getting caught off guard and feeling pressured to have sex in the moment

🚨 Waiting until the end of the night, when you're both exhausted

🚨 Using "lazy" or unsexy initiation attempts (boob honks, anyone?)

🚨 Feeling like your partner only flirts when they want something

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down the most common mistakes couples make when initiating sex.

🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ The #1 reason why most couples struggle with initiation

✅ Why timing matters just as much as how you initiate

✅ The major mistake that makes sex feel like a pop quiz, and what to do instead

✅ What to say (and what not to say) when initiating sex

✅ How to make your partner feel wanted instead of pressured

And of course, we’re sharing our top tool to completely transform the way you initiate, so you and your partner can experience more connection, better intimacy, and yes… way more satisfying sex!

Ready to stop guessing what actually works?

The Art of Initiation helps you figure out how each of you actually likes sex to be initiated, so you can make getting things started feel a whole lot more fun (and a whole lot less awkward).

You’ll uncover your Initiation Styles, figure out what makes each of you more open to getting turned on, and get 61 specific ways to initiate that you can actually try together.

And right now, you can get instant lifetime access for just $49 (normally $89).

GET THE ART OF INITIATION FOR $49 →https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation

Sale ends Tuesday, October 6 at 11:59 pm PT.

Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time?

Oh, we've got some GOOD questions for you today.

We're back with another round of Ask a Sex Therapist, answering the questions you've been sending us about sex, pleasure, and all those things you might be a little too embarrassed to ask out loud.

From requesting spicy pics to navigating intimacy when your marriage is going through a rough patch, we're getting into the details with our favorite combination of honest conversations, practical advice, and a little TMI.

In this episode, you'll hear:

How to ask your wife for spicy pics in a way that feels fun for both of you

What to do when your partner's kink gives you the ick

How to navigate intimacy when your marriage is going through a rough patch

Whether it's normal for sex to be average most of the time and mind-blowing only occasionally

Why clitoral stimulation can sometimes feel so intense that it almost hurts

How to tell your partner you want something different during foreplay without hurting their feelings

Whether you've been wondering about one of these questions yourself or you're just here for the juicy details, you're going to love this conversation.

And who knows? You might even pick up a new trick or two to try tonight.

Ready to put some new moves in your foreplay repertoire?
We've got your next favorite thing to do in bed. Actually, make that several.

The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are packed with step-by-step techniques for fingering, oral sex, handjobs, and blowjobs, so you can discover new ways to touch, tease, and drive each other absolutely wild.

You'll also get an entire section dedicated to navigating foreplay frustrations, including how to ask for what you want and give feedback that actually helps.

Because the more you know about each other's pleasure, the more fun you get to have together.

Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander
Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW
👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices