Pillow Talks

Every once in a while an orgasm hits you like a freight train, and you lie there afterward wondering what on earth that was and why you can't do it again.

What if that wasn't luck?

In this episode, you'll hear:

Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets

Why getting really efficient at reaching orgasm can be the exact thing capping how big it gets

The four things about your orgasm you can actually change

What your body does automatically the second an orgasm starts that's probably cutting it short

Why the window for a second orgasm stays open longer than you think, and the one moment that closes it

The truth about G-spot, cervical, and nipple orgasms, and why none of them outrank the clitoris

What Vanessa found after twenty years of thinking she already knew everything about her own body

What if your orgasm was only the beginning?

Advanced Orgasm is our course for the woman who already orgasms reliably, on her own and with a partner, and is curious what else her body can do. It doesn't teach you how to orgasm. It teaches you how to shape what happens when you do.

The four Amplifiers we walk through in this episode. Intensity, Duration, Frequency, and Pathway. Four levers you can pull, with the step-by-step for each one.

You get to decide what kind of orgasm you have. Slow and drawn out tonight, enormous on Friday, two of them if that's the mood.

A 30-day actually-try-it guarantee. Give it a fair shot, and if you haven't learned something that expands how you explore your own pleasure, we'll refund you.

Lifetime access, including every upgrade we ever make to it.

Check out Advanced Orgasm here: https://vmtherapy.com/advanced

Not sure if it’s for you? If your orgasm only shows up under very particular conditions, or you can get there on your own but not with a partner, that's not a flaw. You're just at a different starting line. Start with Finishing School: https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com

👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW

👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At the start of a relationship, turning your partner on felt like it took basically no effort.

So what do you do a decade in, when you've watched each other fart and floss, and nothing seems to happen on its own anymore?

In this episode, you'll hear:

Why nothing sexy happens spontaneously after about six months, and what has to replace it

The thing you have to clear out of the way before you can build desire at all

Which of the four desire types you and your partner each are, and why it changes how you initiate

How to flirt with someone you've been with for years without feeling ridiculous

The compliment swap that makes it actually land, and what to say instead of "you're hot"

Why initiating in the moment is already too late, and when to start instead

What our community said gets them in the mood, from grey sweatpants to a longer than usual kiss in the kitchen

Mentioned in this episode:

Discover your initiation style here: https://vmtherapy.com/style

Listen to Episode 251: What's Your Desire Type?: https://vmtherapy.com/episode251

Want to make sure the sex is worth craving?

It's time to give and receive "I didn't know it could be that good" pleasure with the Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Our #1 best-seller for a reason.

Detailed, step-by-step instructions that guide you through expertly fingering and going down on a vulva, and giving jaw-dropping hand jobs and blow jobs.

Over 100 unique techniques designed to give your partner maximum pleasure and secret hacks to get them begging for more.

Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

Think you've tried every position? Think again.

Ultimate Sex Positions is our fully illustrated guide to 47 positions, with step-by-step guidance, tips for how to move, and smart adjustments for real bodies.

47 fully illustrated positions with step-by-step guidance for getting into, out of, and moving in each one.

17 pillow positions, because changing your angle by a few inches changes everything.

Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex

Stay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

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👏Thanks Cure. Cure’s the electrolyte mix I’ve started reaching for daily. With clean ingredients and nothing artificial, it’s become easy to stay hydrated. Find it on Amazon or use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS

👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD

👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee.

In this episode, you'll hear:

Can you ask your partner to start initiating again after you spent years shutting them down?

A monthly quota for sex: reasonable or red flag?

Oral every single time: too much to ask or not a big deal?

The blowjob stereotype most women believe, and what men actually told us in our foreplay survey

Asking your partner to stop saying a word that gives you the ick, without shutting down the dirty talk entirely

How to admit you've hated something in bed for years without making your partner feel terrible

Is waking your partner up because you can't sleep crossing a line?

Want to stop guessing and start feeling confident in your technique?

It’s time to give and receive “I didn’t know it could be that good” pleasure with the Ultimate Foreplay Guides. Our #1 best-seller for a reason.

Detailed, step-by-step instructions that guide you through expertly fingering and going down on a vulva, and giving jaw-dropping hand jobs and blow jobs.

Animated GIFs with tasteful illustrations that will help you become an expert at our hottest foreplay techniques.

Over 100 unique techniques designed to give your partner maximum pleasure and secret hacks to get them begging for more.

Exactly what to do before, during, and after orgasm to ensure a “my soul just left my body” experience.

Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

Stay Connected

Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

==========================

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

==========================

👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first order of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW

👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com

👏Thanks Quince. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including one accusation we still can't believe we had to respond to.

In this episode, you'll hear:

The one line in that reel that set the whole thing off

The accusation that hurt more than anything we've ever been called online

The ball of clay explanation that changes how you understand your own anatomy

The percentage of women who actually orgasm from penetration alone (it's not what you've been told)

The rule we have in our own sex life

As promised in the episode, our Survivor's Guide is a free resource for survivors of sexual assault who want to reclaim their sex life. Grab it here: https://vmtherapy.com/survivors-guide-opt-in

Finishing School is our orgasm course for women, and it starts exactly where this episode does, with understanding that you're not broken.

Learn how your anatomy actually works

Do the mindset work first, because that's what makes every technique after it land

Get step by step practices for orgasming on your own and with a partner

Learn how to create more sensation during intercourse instead of less

Check out Finishing School here: https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm

Stay Connected

Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pillow trick that changes everything, plus how many positions you actually need for great sex.

💛 In this episode, you'll hear:

🛏️ How to introduce new positions when you've been together forever

⭐ The most underrated position, and no, it's not missionary

🎬 Why switching out of missionary sometimes kills the mood

🍆 What to do when he goes soft during a transition

🛋️ The best pillow and furniture for better positions

⏱️ How long to give a position before deciding "nah, this isn't it"

🔢 How many positions you actually need in one session

Use this episode to talk with your partner about what you'd actually love to try next.

💦 Think you've tried every position? Think again.

Ultimate Sex Positions is our fully illustrated guide to 47 positions, with step-by-step guidance, tips for how to move, and smart adjustments for real bodies.

47 fully illustrated positions (5 new!) with step-by-step guidance

17 brand-new pillow positions, because changing your angle by a few inches changes everything

Recommendations for what each position is best for, plus troubleshooting and aftercare

Right now, get the whole guide and every bonus for just $49, half off the regular $97

The sale ends Monday, August 17, so don't wait.

👉🏻 Check out Ultimate Sex Positions here: https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex

💛 Stay Connected

📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!

==========================
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
==========================
👏Thanks Quince. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow
👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Oversized, ultra-plush, and completely built for your best summer days. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices