Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads

Grief has a way of dragging us back into every decision, every conversation, and every painful “what if.” In this deeply personal episode, Stephanie Renner joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about losing her son Jordan to suicide, the guilt and regret that followed, and how she learned to keep moving forward without letting the past define the rest of her life.

Awards & Downloads Line

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listeners in more than 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
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Mental Health Quote

“Love is not measured by the outcome.” — Stephanie Renner

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes candid conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, self-harm, grief, and the loss of a child. Please take care of yourself while listening and step away if you need to.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis support outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

After losing her father, her mother, and her oldest son within a six-year span, Stephanie Renner knows what it feels like to replay the past and wonder what could have been different.
In this raw and deeply human conversation, Stephanie opens up to G-Rex and Dirty Skittles about her son Jordan, who died by suicide shortly before his nineteenth birthday. She shares what it was like raising a deeply empathetic young man who struggled for years with suicidal ideation, mental health challenges, and the feeling that he did not quite fit into the world around him.

Stephanie also speaks honestly about the guilt that can follow devastating loss. The questions come fast and hard: What if I had found the right therapist? What if I had been home? What if I had made one different decision? She calls them the “if-onlys,” and she knows firsthand how easily they can become a prison.

Over time, Stephanie began to understand that loving someone deeply does not mean you can control their outcome. That realization became one of the most important lessons of her life: Love is not measured by the outcome.

She also shares the unexpected signs that have helped her feel connected to Jordan, the community that surrounded her when she could barely function, and the ways grief changed her perspective on fear, work, and what actually matters.

After nearly 25 years as an attorney, Stephanie stepped away from the life she built and moved toward something more meaningful. Today, through her Regret to Resilience Method, she helps people work through regret, guilt, and shame after trauma or loss.

She also founded Gilly’s Friends in Jordan’s memory, turning his kindness into a lasting reminder: You matter. You’re loved.

Keywords: Stephanie Renner, Regret to Resilience, grief, grief recovery, suicide loss, suicide prevention, parental grief, guilt after loss, regret, emotional healing, self-forgiveness, resilience, trauma recovery, mental health awareness, finding purpose after loss

Meet Our Guest — Stephanie Renner

Stephanie Renner is a keynote speaker, writer, attorney, nonprofit founder, and creator of The Regret to Resilience Method. Her work helps people release regret, guilt, and shame after trauma or loss so they can move forward with greater purpose, confidence, and self-compassion.
Her work is deeply personal. After losing her father, mother, and oldest son, Jordan, within six years, Stephanie turned her own experience with grief into a mission to help others stop allowing the past to control what comes next.

She is also the founder of Gilly’s Friends, a nonprofit created in Jordan “Gilly” Guilford’s memory that spreads intentional acts of kindness and reminds people that they matter and are loved.

Website: https://www.stephanierennerspeaks.com

Gilly’s Friends: https://gillysfriends.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/srrnd/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephanie.renner2

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanierenner/

Key Takeaways

Love is not measured by the outcome. You can love someone completely and still not control what happens.

Regret often lives in the “if-onlys,” where we convince ourselves that one different choice would have changed everything.

Grief does not mean forgetting someone or moving on from them. It can mean learning to carry love and loss at the same time.

Support matters. Sometimes the people who simply show up, sit with you, feed you, and stay close make survival possible.

Belonging matters, especially for young people who feel like they do not fit anywhere.

Purpose can grow alongside grief. Stephanie transformed Jordan’s legacy of kindness into work that continues to help other people feel seen and valued.

Actionable Items

Challenge one “if-only.” Write down a regret you keep replaying and ask yourself whether you truly know that changing that one moment would have changed the outcome.

Know who your people are. Identify two or three people you can call when life gets heavy, and consider whether someone in your life may need you to be that person for them.

Do one intentional act of kindness. Send the text. Make the call. Buy the coffee. Check in. Small moments can carry more weight than we realize.

Important Chapters

00:00 – Meet Stephanie Renner

02:30 – Signs From Jordan and Staying Connected After Loss

08:15 – Jordan’s Mental Health Journey

12:00 – Surviving the Loss of a Child

13:35 – The “If-Onlys” of Grief and Regret

18:50 – One of Stephanie and Jordan’s Final Conversations

21:45 – Mental Health, Shame, and Creating a Kinder World

23:30 – The Community That Carried Stephanie

26:15 – Losing Fear After Losing So Much

26:55 – Grieving a Son While Losing a Mother to Alzheimer’s

29:30 – From Attorney to Regret to Resilience

31:00 – Letting Go of Mother’s Day Guilt

33:30 – Care Bears, Raccoons, and Signs From Beyond

41:25 – What Stephanie Would Tell a Younger Jordan

44:25 – Love Is Not Measured by the Outcome

45:40 – Favorite Word, Least Favorite Word

46:10 – Regret to Resilience

47:05 – Gilly’s Friends and Jordan’s Legacy of Kindness

Closing CTA

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Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:  https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #GriefSupport #SuicideLoss #SuicidePrevention #GriefJourney #RegretToResilience #HealingAfterLoss #ParentalGrief #BereavedParents #EmotionalHealing #SelfForgiveness #TraumaRecovery #Resilience #FindingPurpose #GriefAndLoss #YouMatter

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Some conversations can be course-corrected with feedback. Others cross a bright line and demand something more. In Part 2, G-Rex, Dirty Skittles, and Regent Cornell get even more practical about confrontation, emotional regulation, accountability, leadership, and what to do when the other person simply refuses to meet you halfway.

Awards & Downloads Line

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“People rarely need fewer confrontations. They need thousands more courageous everyday feedback conversations.” — Regent Cornell

Episode Description

How do you have a healthy conversation when the other person refuses to listen, take accountability, or change?
In Part 2, Regent Cornell returns with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to push the conversation beyond basic communication skills and into the harder territory: bright lines, toxic leadership, broken trust, emotional triggers, and knowing when you have done everything you can.

Regent explains the difference between feedback and confrontation, including situations where a boundary has been crossed so clearly that feedback is no longer enough. He also explores why confrontation should never become an excuse to retaliate, humiliate, or emotionally punish another person. The temporary satisfaction of “winning” a fight can quickly turn into regret.

G-Rex asks what happens when leaders avoid conflict or when the person receiving feedback refuses to engage. Regent’s answer is clear: you cannot force someone to change. You can communicate, influence, set expectations, and choose what you are willing to tolerate, but accountability ultimately belongs to each individual.

The trio also talks about self-worth, curiosity, emotional regulation, and why avoidance can quietly destroy relationships. Regent leaves listeners with a challenge: choose one conversation. Not ten. One. Decide what needs daylight, get curious about the other person’s reality, and stop waiting for the “suddenly” that comes after months or years of avoidance.

Keywords: difficult conversations, courageous conversations, conflict resolution, mental health, emotional wellness, boundaries, leadership communication, workplace conflict, toxic leadership, self-worth, accountability, emotional regulation, healthy confrontation, relationship communication, Fierce Conversations

Meet Our Guest — Regent Cornell

Regent Cornell is a transformational leadership, talent-development, and organizational-growth expert with more than 33 years of experience helping leaders, teams, and individuals build the clarity, confidence, and capability to thrive. He serves as Vice President of Market Evolution & Strategic Growth at Fierce Conversations and owns Cornell Consulting, bringing expertise in executive coaching, strategic communication, organizational development, team building, diversity and inclusion, negotiation, and change management.
Regent is an HBDI Level III Master Facilitator through Herrmann International and holds a Professional Coaching Certification at the ICF-PCC level from the University of Miami. He is also certified in Fierce Conversations, Myers-Briggs, DiSC, Prosci Change Management, and Advanced Consulting.

Fierce Inc.:

https://www.fierceinc.com/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/regent-cornell

Key Takeaways

Feedback is preventative care; confrontation is the intervention when a pattern becomes too important to ignore.

Some situations cross a “bright line” and require immediate accountability rather than gradual feedback.

You cannot force another person to change, no matter how well you communicate.

Entering a confrontation to prove you are right usually shuts down curiosity and learning.

The best time to give feedback is close enough to the moment to be useful and calm enough to be constructive.

Avoidance weakens relationships; curiosity strengthens them.

Actionable Items

Pick one conversation you have been postponing and put a date on when you will address it.

Before speaking, ask yourself: “Am I entering this conversation to prove something or to learn something?”

Use Regent’s standard for fierce feedback: candor with care, clarity with curiosity, and courage with respect.

References Mentioned

Fierce Inc.:
https://www.fierceinc.com/
Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

Important Chapters

00:00:49 – Asking, “How Can I Show Up Better for You?”

00:01:31 – Feedback as Preventative Care

00:02:08 – When Someone Crosses a Bright Line

00:04:22 – Confrontation Is Not Revenge

00:06:58 – What Happens When Leaders Avoid Conflict?

00:10:52 – What If the Other Person Won’t Reciprocate?

00:12:39 – The Cost of Waiting Too Long

00:16:08 – Self-Worth, Choice, and What You Will Tolerate

00:17:55 – Avoidance vs. Curiosity

00:19:57 – Stop Entering Conversations to Prove You’re Right

00:20:57 – Candor With Care

00:21:41 – Start With One Conversation

00:23:09 – Stop Waiting for the “Suddenly”

00:24:33 – A Message for Leaders

00:25:24 – How to Connect With Regent

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CourageousConversations #DifficultConversations #ConflictResolution #HealthyCommunication #LeadershipDevelopment #EmotionalWellness #BoundariesMatter #Accountability #ProtectYourPeace #WorkplaceMentalHealth #EmotionalRegulation #SelfWorth #FierceConversations #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when the conversations you keep avoiding start costing you your peace, your relationships, or even your mental health? G-Rex and Dirty Skittles welcome back Regent Cornell for a powerful conversation about honest feedback, emotional courage, boundaries, and why saying the hard thing early can keep resentment from taking over.

Awards & Downloads Line

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Silence does not remove the issue. It simply delays the conversation while allowing the impact to continue.” — Regent Cornell

Episode Description

Avoiding a hard conversation might feel easier in the moment, but what happens when silence starts becoming resentment, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion?
In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles welcome back leadership and communication expert Regent Cornell to talk about why courageous conversations matter long before things reach a breaking point. Regent shares how the principles of Fierce Conversations have changed his personal and professional life, and why feedback should feel less like criticism and more like a GPS helping us course-correct.

The conversation gets deeply personal as Regent opens up about quarterly relationship check-ins with his partner, navigating difficult family dynamics, and setting a painful boundary with a friend struggling with addiction. Dirty Skittles reflects on how avoiding hard conversations can turn into resentment, while G-Rex shares how she uses the principles of Fierce Conversations even when the person she needs to confront is herself.

Together, they unpack why confrontation does not have to mean conflict, cruelty, or emotional warfare. Healthy confrontation means facing the problem with honesty, curiosity, and respect before frustration becomes something bigger.

This episode reminds you that protecting your peace doesn't always mean walking away. Sometimes it means finally saying what needs to be said.

Keywords: courageous conversations, difficult conversations, mental health, emotional wellness, healthy communication, boundaries, feedback, confrontation, resentment, self-awareness, relationship communication, conflict resolution, Fierce Conversations, leadership communication, protecting your peace

Meet Our Guest — Regent Cornell

Regent Cornell is a transformational leadership, talent-development, and organizational-growth expert with more than 33 years of experience helping leaders, teams, and individuals build the clarity, confidence, and capability to thrive. As Vice President of Market Evolution & Strategic Growth at Fierce Conversations and owner of Cornell Consulting, Regent works at the intersection of leadership, strategy, human connection, and change, grounded in the belief that meaningful conversations create the conditions for learning, action, and transformation.
Fierce Inc.:

https://www.fierceinc.com/

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/regent-cornell

Key Takeaways

Avoidance does not solve conflict; it often gives resentment room to grow.

Feedback works best when it happens before frustration becomes confrontation.

Difficult conversations can strengthen both professional and personal relationships.

You can have a Fierce Conversation with yourself, but an outside perspective can help challenge the stories you tell yourself.

Setting a boundary does not mean you stopped caring about someone.

Honest communication should come from respect, not revenge or the need to prove you are right.

Actionable Items

Think of one conversation you have been avoiding and write down what you actually need the other person to understand.

Use Regent’s “experience, explore, explain” approach: share your experience, ask about theirs, explore the situation together, and clarify what happens next.

Before confronting someone, check your emotional temperature. If you are going in to punish, prove, or unload, give yourself time to regulate first.

References Mentioned

Fierce Conversations:
Fierce Inc.:

https://www.fierceinc.com/

Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

Herrmann International / HBDI

Important Chapters

00:00:40 – Regent Returns to the Podcast

00:04:44 – You Don’t Have a “Work Self” and a “Personal Self”

00:09:49 – Why Common Sense Is Not Always Common Practice

00:10:33 – Feedback Before Confrontation

00:15:46 – How Avoidance Turns Into Resentment

00:18:34 – Having Fierce Conversations With Yourself

00:21:55 – When Loving Someone Requires a Boundary

00:27:20 – Why We Need Other Perspectives

00:29:36 – Confrontation Is Not a Brawl

00:31:24 – Experience, Explore, Explain

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #CourageousConversations #DifficultConversations #HealthyCommunication #EmotionalWellness #BoundariesMatter #ProtectYourPeace #ConflictResolution #RelationshipCommunication #SelfAwareness #LeadershipDevelopment #FierceConversations #EmotionalHealth #Resentment #PersonalGrowth #CommunicationSkills

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when betrayal forces you to stop fixing everyone else and finally start protecting yourself? G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Barbara Parker for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about healthy boundaries, emotional safety, perfectionism, rebuilding self-worth, and learning that protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes conversations about infidelity, toxic relationships, emotional trauma, alcohol misuse, suicidal thoughts, and intense emotional distress. Please listen with care.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 in the United States and Canada for immediate support. You don’t have to carry the heavy shit alone.

Mental Health Quote

“Anything that comes between you and your peace needs to be removed.” — Barbara Parker

Episode Description

Barbara Parker knows what it feels like to lose yourself while trying to hold a relationship together. After discovering repeated infidelity in her marriage, she found herself facing heartbreak, anger, financial instability, and one brutal realization: she had spent so much energy worrying about someone else’s happiness that she had stopped paying attention to her own.
In this powerful conversation with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles, Barbara shares how those painful experiences became the foundation for rebuilding her identity, strengthening her boundaries, and eventually helping others do the same. She explains why boundaries start with knowing what you want, why two perfectly good people can still be completely wrong for each other, and why protecting your peace sometimes means accepting that somebody simply isn’t headed where you’re headed.

Barbara also gets real about perfectionism, anxiety, emotional triggers, and the wounds that can sit beneath our awareness until something slams directly into the panic button. She shares her “good enough” approach when perfection falls apart, her tea-kettle analogy for bottled-up emotions, and how her POWER method helps people communicate more clearly, rediscover their confidence, and create lives aligned with what actually matters.

This isn’t about pretending heartbreak was some magical gift wrapped in a bow. It’s about realizing the shit that hurt you doesn’t get to own you forever. You can learn from it, rebuild from it, and become fiercely protective of the peace you worked so damn hard to find.

Keywords: healthy boundaries, self-worth, emotional safety, toxic relationships, relationship healing, betrayal trauma, divorce recovery, self-love, perfectionism, anxiety, emotional wellness, confidence building, personal growth, women’s empowerment, mental health podcast

Meet Our Guest — Barbara Parker

Barbara L. Parker, MA, LPCC-S, is the Founder and CEO of BF Empowerment Center, where she helps people build confidence, improve communication, set healthier boundaries, and move through emotional healing and major life transitions. Drawing from both professional expertise and her own experiences with heartbreak, divorce, financial hardship, and rebuilding her identity, Barbara brings a practical, empowering approach to helping people create healthier relationships with themselves and others.
Connect with Barbara:

Official Website:

https://www.bfempowerment.com/

Instagram — BF Empowerment:

https://www.instagram.com/bfempowerment/

Facebook — B F Empowerment Center:

https://www.facebook.com/bfempowerment/

LinkedIn — Barbara L. Parker:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/queenblparker

Key Takeaways

Healthy boundaries begin with knowing what you want before somebody else starts deciding it for you.

Two people can both be good humans and still be completely wrong for each other.

Protecting your peace sometimes requires walking away from situations that keep pulling you away from yourself.

Perfectionism can steal the joy from moments you worked incredibly hard to create.

Anger can be the surface reaction covering a much deeper emotional wound.

Rebuilding after betrayal means investing energy back into yourself instead of endlessly investigating somebody else.

Emotional safety, self-worth, and identity matter just as much as what a relationship looks like from the outside.

Actionable Items

Ask whether it’s on mission or off mission. Before saying yes to a relationship, commitment, opportunity, or another obligation, ask whether it supports the life you’re trying to build or pulls you away from it.

Practice the “good enough” reset. When perfectionism starts convincing you everything is ruined because something went wrong, remind yourself that successful doesn't have to mean flawless.

Empty the emotional tea kettle. Make regular space to talk, journal, rest, seek therapy, or process what you’re carrying before one small trigger sends everything boiling over.

Important Chapters

00:01:06 – Meet Barbara: Spunky, Sassy, and a Recovering Perfectionist

00:04:21 – What Healthy Boundaries Actually Look Like

00:06:29 – The Heartbreak That Taught Barbara Boundaries

00:08:53 – Facing Infidelity and Talking to Nine Mistresses

00:13:30 – Poor Boundaries, Lost Identity, and Inviting Chaos

00:15:15 – When Betrayal Made Barbara Disconnect From Herself

00:16:28 – Turning Pain Into Purpose

00:19:01 – Stop Investigating Them and Start Investing in You

00:21:53 – The POWER Method and Finding Yourself Again

00:23:51 – Anger, Old Wounds, and the Panic Button

00:25:26 – The Tea Kettle: What Happens When We Never Empty Out

00:30:22 – “This Is Going to Hurt, but It’s Going to Be Worth It”

00:32:04 – Loyalty, Fidelity, and Emotional Safety

00:34:06 – Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Never Feeling Productive Enough

00:35:12 – Favorite Word, Least Favorite Word, and Why “Can’t” Gets No Love

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #HealthyBoundaries #ProtectYourPeace #SelfWorth #EmotionalSafety #ToxicRelationships #RelationshipHealing #DivorceRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #SelfLoveJourney #WomenEmpowerment #EmotionalWellness #PerfectionismRecovery #ConfidenceBuilding #PersonalGrowth #HealingAfterHeartbreak

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if binge eating isn’t proof that you lack discipline—but a learned pattern your brain can actually change? In this episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with binge-eating coach Amber Abila to unpack food obsession, restriction, cravings, shame, and what it can look like to rebuild trust with yourself around food.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback Link

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“You’re a lot less alone than you think you are.” — Amber Abila

Special Announcement

Amber shares a guided audio designed to help people slow down and “play the story forward” when an urge to binge hits. The direct resource link was not included in the transcript, but listeners can find Amber’s resources through: https://theconfidenteater.org/

Episode Description

Binge eating can feel like a battle between what you want to do and what your brain seems determined to make you do. Amber Abila knows that fight firsthand. After years of restriction, bingeing, bulimia, food guilt, and trying everything from calorie counting to willpower, she began searching for a different way forward.

In this raw and practical conversation, Amber joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about how binge-eating patterns can develop, why shame often keeps people stuck, and why simply trying harder may not create lasting change. Amber explains her approach to separating the biology that may contribute to urges from the psychology that can reinforce them, while also challenging the belief that recovery has to take forever.

The conversation gets especially real around dieting, food noise, emotional eating, body image, and the endless mental tug-of-war between “I’ve been good all day” and “I deserve this.” Amber also shares how visualization, questioning automatic thoughts, noticing how food actually makes you feel, and celebrating small wins can help create new patterns.

G-Rex and Dirty Skittles bring their own complicated relationships with sugar, carbs, dieting, GLP-1 medications, and body changes into the conversation, making this episode less about perfection and more about curiosity, awareness, and self-trust.

Most importantly, Amber reminds listeners that shame doesn’t have to run the show. Change can begin when you stop treating yourself like the enemy and start paying attention to what your mind and body are actually telling you.

Keywords: binge eating, food addiction, emotional eating, binge eating recovery, food obsession, food guilt, eating habits, body image, diet culture, food cravings, mental health, emotional wellness, self-compassion, habit change, confident eating

Meet Our Guest — Amber Abila

Amber Abila is a binge-eating and overeating coach and the founder of The Confident Eater. Drawing from her own experience with binge eating and bulimia, Amber now helps people challenge learned food patterns, understand urges, question automatic thoughts, and build a more confident relationship with eating.

Her work centers on emotional eating, hunger and fullness cues, food mindset, body confidence, habit change, and helping people move away from cycles of restriction and shame.

Website: https://theconfidenteater.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theconfidenteater_/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/532434625387487

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@amberabila

Key Takeaways

Binge eating is not simply a matter of being “weak” or lacking willpower; Amber encourages people to look at the patterns underneath the behavior.

Restriction and food obsession can create a cycle in which cravings grow louder rather than quieter.

Shame makes it harder to ask for help, which is why talking openly about binge eating matters.

Learning to question automatic thoughts like “I deserve this because I’ve been good all day” can interrupt old habits.

Visualization can help you move beyond the first few seconds of an urge and imagine how each choice may feel afterward.

Celebrating small wins matters. Your brain needs reinforcement when you practice a new response instead of immediately moving on.

Actionable Items

Ask, “Is this true?” When a food-related thought shows up—“I need this,” “I deserve this,” or “I already blew it”—pause and question whether the thought is actually true or simply familiar.

Play the story forward. Imagine both paths: what happens physically and emotionally if you act on the urge, and what happens if you allow the urge to pass?

Celebrate the new behavior. When you make a choice that supports the relationship with food you want, consciously acknowledge it instead of brushing it off.

References Mentioned

The Confident Eater: https://theconfidenteater.org/

Become a Confident Eater Podcast: Amber mentions her weekly podcast during the episode. You can find it on The Confident Eater website.

DSM-5 / Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: Amber references diagnostic criteria for binge-eating disorder while discussing how binge eating is recognized clinically.

Important Chapters

00:01:12 – Amber’s Story and the Beginning of Binge Eating

00:02:22 – Restriction, Cravings, and Amber’s First Binge

00:05:17 – GLP-1s and Food Noise

00:06:38 – Why Amber Believes Binge Eating Starts

00:10:16 – Food Flavor, Cravings, and Hyperpalatable Foods

00:15:44 – The Pleasure-versus-Pain Teeter-Totter

00:23:46 – Visualization as a Tool for Urges

00:27:37 – Why You Should Celebrate Small Wins

00:30:02 – The Question That Can Change Your Thinking

00:32:59 – Can Change Really Happen Quickly?

00:37:22 – Restriction vs. Self-Care

00:40:25 – What Amber Wishes She Could Tell Her Younger Self

00:43:20 – The Hard Things Can Build Us

00:45:09 – Anxiety’s Theme Song and the Meaning of Confidence

00:47:00 – Where to Find Amber

Closing CTA

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