Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads

After years of wondering why he felt different from everyone else, Eric Gee turned his curiosity into a way to help people better understand themselves and each other. In this episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Eric to talk about personality types, self-acceptance, emotional wellness, and why trying to fit into someone else's version of normal can hold us back.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

"I don't think it's always healthy to try to be like others." — Eric Gee

Episode Description

Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to become the person everyone else expects us to be? For Eric Gee, Author of The Power of Personality, that question started when he was young and felt different from the people around him. Instead of accepting that he needed to fit in, he became curious about what makes each of us unique.
In this funny, refreshingly honest conversation, Eric joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to explore personality types, self-acceptance, and the connection between understanding ourselves and emotional well-being. He introduces his animal-based personality framework, which groups 16 personality types into four packs: gatherers, hunters, smiths, and shamans.

But this isn't about slapping another label on yourself. It's about recognizing your natural strengths, understanding your struggles, and realizing that someone else's way of doing things might not work for you.

G-Rex shares why her butterfly personality feels ridiculously accurate, while Dirty Skittles opens up about her frustration with traditional personality assessments. Eric explains how his work with students, teachers, and parents revealed the limits of one-size-fits-all expectations.

The conversation also gets personal. Eric discusses self-doubt, confidence, the fear of not being good enough, and the advice he'd give his younger self about worrying less about other people's opinions.

Whether you've struggled with fitting in, questioned your strengths, or wondered why certain relationships feel complicated, this episode offers a different perspective on personal growth.

Because understanding who you are isn't about becoming someone better than everybody else. It's about becoming more comfortable being yourself.

Keywords: Eric Gee, The Power of Personality, personality types, self-acceptance, mental health, self-awareness, emotional wellness, self-discovery, personality assessment, confidence building, personal growth, understanding personality differences, healthy relationships, parenting and personality, overcoming self-doubt

Meet Our Guest — Eric Gee

Eric Gee is an Author, life coach, and writing coach with more than 20 years of experience in personality-based coaching. Through his education company, he developed and applied a personality typing method that has helped more than 20,000 students, parents, and teachers better understand individual differences. His book, The Power of Personality, brings together decades of research and practical experience to help people recognize their strengths, understand others, and embrace what makes them unique.
Connect with Eric:

Website: https://www.projectyoutopia.com/university

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_power_of_personality/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eric.c.gee

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-gee-3565a79/

Key Takeaways

Being different doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Eric's journey reminds us that personal growth starts with understanding our natural tendencies, not constantly trying to meet someone else's expectations.

Personality types are tools, not limitations. Eric encourages people to recognize their strengths and motivations without assuming they can only behave in one particular way.

Your greatest strengths can also become your biggest struggles. Eric's concept of "deviant roles" explores how our natural tendencies can work against us when they're taken too far.

Understanding personality differences can strengthen relationships. Parents, teachers, partners, and coworkers can communicate more thoughtfully when they stop expecting everyone to think and respond the same way.

Self-doubt doesn't have to define your confidence. Eric openly discusses questioning whether he's good enough and why reminding ourselves of our abilities matters.

Self-acceptance requires letting go of outside expectations. One of Eric's most important life lessons is learning that other people's opinions shouldn't determine how we live.

Actionable Items

Get curious about your personality. Explore Eric's personality framework and reflect on which descriptions resonate with you. Use the results as a starting point for self-reflection, not a permanent label or clinical assessment.

Question one: An expectation you're trying to meet. Think about something you do because you believe you're supposed to. Ask yourself whether it genuinely supports your goals or whether you're trying to fit someone else's definition of success.

Practice understanding before judging. The next time someone approaches a problem differently, ask what might motivate their perspective instead of assuming your way is the only right one.

Important Chapters

00:00:36 — Meet Eric Gee: Personality, Humor, and Finding Your Own Way

00:04:18 — Why Eric Became Interested in Personality Types

00:07:42 — Understanding Personality Through Animal Types

00:09:58 — The Four Personality Packs: Gatherers, Hunters, Smiths, and Shamans

00:12:07 — Why Being Yourself Matters for Emotional Health

00:15:29 — How Personality Awareness Can Help Students and Teachers

00:17:47 — G-Rex Discovers Her Butterfly Personality

00:19:00 — Deviant Roles: When Personality Strengths Become Weaknesses

00:24:47 — Challenging Traditional Personality Tests and Labels

00:26:04 — Using Personality Awareness to Understand Others

00:27:52 — Eric's Baboon Personality and the Search for Self-Knowledge

00:30:46 — Understanding Personality Differences Between Parents and Children

00:35:14 — What Eric Would Tell His 12-Year-Old Self

00:36:53 — Life's Hardest Lessons: Expectations and Disillusionment

00:37:23 — Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Learning to Feel Good Enough

00:39:24 — Where to Find Eric's Personality Assessment and Book

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #EricGee #ThePowerOfPersonality #PersonalityTypes #SelfAcceptance #SelfDiscovery #EmotionalWellness #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #ConfidenceBuilding #OvercomingSelfDoubt #HealthyRelationships #UnderstandingYourself #PersonalityAssessment #BeYourself

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Holly Porter survived 70 days in the hospital battling COVID-19, but surviving was only the beginning of her emotional and mental health journey. In this powerful conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Holly to explore her near-death experience, the devastating mental health impact of long COVID, and how she found purpose, peace, and hope after two of the darkest years of her life.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Love them where they're at.” — Holly Porter

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

Content Notice: This episode includes conversations about near-death experiences, serious illness, medical trauma, chronic pain, profound emotional distress, family loss, and wishing for death during difficult periods of recovery. Please listen with care and take breaks if needed.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit:

https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the United States:

https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

What happens when you survive something that nearly kills you, only to discover that staying alive is an entirely different battle? For Holly Porter, surviving COVID-19 meant 70 days in the hospital, two intubations, a tracheotomy, sepsis, and a near-death experience that changed everything she believed about life, purpose, and healing.
In this deeply personal episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, Holly joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to share the mental health struggles that followed her hospitalization. Long COVID, chronic pain, hair loss, and losing her singing voice were devastating enough. But the emotional aftermath brought nearly two years of darkness, broken relationships, overwhelming grief, and moments when Holly questioned why she had survived at all.

Holly opens up about her spiritual experiences, the questions she faced about her legacy, and how finding meaning in her suffering became part of rebuilding her life. She also shares the heartbreaking family challenges that tested her resilience and the lessons she learned about surrender, forgiveness, judgment, and loving people exactly where they are.

Through her personal development framework, SHIFT—Surrender, Hope, Intuition, Faith, and Transformation—Holly offers a perspective on navigating adversity without pretending healing happens overnight.

This conversation isn't about magically fixing everything. It's about surviving the messy middle, recognizing that emotional recovery takes time, and finding one small way to move forward.

If you're navigating long COVID, medical trauma, grief, or the emotional weight of starting over, Holly's story reminds us that progress doesn't have to be dramatic to matter. Sometimes, better is simply better.

Keywords: Holly Porter, near-death experience, long COVID mental health, mental health recovery, COVID-19 survivor story, medical trauma recovery, emotional healing, chronic illness and mental health, resilience after trauma, finding purpose after illness, mental health struggles, spiritual transformation, surrender and healing, grief and recovery, mental health podcast

Meet Our Guest — Holly Porter

Holly Porter is an international speaker, bestselling author of 18 books, entrepreneur, and founder and CEO of the International Retreat Association. With more than 30 years of entrepreneurial experience, she also hosts the All Things Retreat podcast and wrote The Near Death SHIFT, a deeply personal exploration of what her near-death experience taught her about life, business, and purpose. Following her 70-day battle with COVID-19 and the emotional challenges that followed, Holly has dedicated herself to helping others transform adversity into purpose, meaningful connection, and positive change.
Connect with Holly Porter:

Website: https://www.HollyPorter.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hollyporterinternational/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HOLLYANNPORTER/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IntlRetreatAssociation

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hollyporter/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/hollyporter

Substack: https://substack.com/@hollyporter

Key Takeaways

Survival and recovery aren't the same thing. Holly's 70-day hospitalization was only the beginning. Long COVID, chronic pain, and profound emotional struggles demonstrated how complicated life after a medical crisis can become.

Mental health struggles can follow physical trauma. Losing her hair, singing voice, independence, and sense of normalcy affected Holly's emotional well-being in ways she never anticipated.

Purpose can help you move forward through uncertainty. Holly found motivation in the commitments and projects she believed she needed to fulfill, even when the rest of her life felt overwhelming.

Surrender doesn't have to mean giving up. Through her SHIFT framework, Holly explains how accepting uncertainty and letting go of the need to control everything reshaped her perspective.

Compassion matters more than judgment. One of Holly's most meaningful lessons is to love people where they are, even when their choices, beliefs, or experiences differ from yours.

Progress doesn't require perfection. Holly's personal reminder, "Better's better," encourages you to focus on small improvements instead of expecting immediate transformation.

Actionable Items

Ask yourself what you need right now. When life feels overwhelming, borrow Holly's reflective question: "What do I need to learn out of this experience?" Consider what support, information, or change might make today a little more manageable.

Practice loving people where they are. When someone triggers frustration or judgment, pause before reacting. Approach the situation with compassion while still respecting your own boundaries.

Make "better's better" your daily reminder. Identify one small thing you can do today to support your mental or emotional well-being. It might be reaching out to someone, taking a break, or acknowledging progress you've already made.

Important Chapters

00:02:27 — Holly Introduces Her Near-Death Experience

00:03:22 — 70 Days in the Hospital: COVID-19, Sepsis, and Survival

00:04:09 — Understanding Near-Death Experiences and Spiritual Transformation

00:06:32 — Facing Mortality, Self-Worth, and Questions About Legacy

00:09:19 — Being Present Versus Simply Being There

00:10:38 — The Meaning of 11:11 and Holly's New Purpose

00:15:42 — Two Years of Emotional Darkness After Surviving

00:19:09 — Rebuilding Purpose Through Entrepreneurship and Service

00:22:41 — Long COVID, Chronic Pain, and the Mental Health Toll

00:25:55 — What Holly Learned About Moving Through Difficult Times

00:28:48 — Life Review, Forgiveness, and Loving People Where They Are

00:31:09 — The SHIFT Framework: Surrender, Hope, Intuition, Faith, and Transformation

00:32:32 — Online Judgment, Harsh Comments, and Emotional Boundaries

00:38:46 — Family Heartbreak and One of Holly's Hardest Lessons

00:41:19 — Better's Better: Finding Strength in Small Steps

00:42:29 — Why Peace Became Holly's Favorite Word

00:43:20 — Where to Find Holly and Her Closing Message

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #HollyPorter #NearDeathExperience #LongCOVID #MentalHealthRecovery #MedicalTrauma #ChronicIllnessSupport #EmotionalHealing #ResilienceAfterTrauma #FindingPurpose #GriefAndHealing #SelfCompassion #SurrenderAndHealing #COVIDSurvivor #MentalHealthJourney #HealingAfterTrauma

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when a life-threatening medical diagnosis forces you to rethink everything you thought you could control? In this deeply personal episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Steve Collins to explore his journey through vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), medical trauma, job loss, and the powerful role of faith, humor, and resilience in finding purpose after life changes overnight.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Your identity isn't defined by what you can do. Sometimes your greatest purpose comes from learning to let go, accept help, and show up for others in a different way.” — Inspired by Steve Collins

Content Notice & Crisis Resources

This episode includes discussions of life-threatening medical emergencies, chronic illness, medical trauma, fear of death, and the emotional impact of losing independence and employment. Please listen with care.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit:

https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the United States:

https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

Steve Collins thought he had a stubborn stomach issue. Instead, persistent abdominal pain led to an artery dissection, a 32-day hospital stay, and a diagnosis he'd never heard of: vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), a rare connective tissue disorder that changed what everyday life could look like. His decision to ask doctors to re-examine his scan became a powerful lesson in speaking up for your health.
But surviving the medical crisis was only the beginning.

Steve tells G-Rex and Dirty Skittles what happened when he returned home and realized he couldn't simply muscle through life the way he always had. The guy who fixed everything, jumped in to help others, and took pride in showing up at work now had to ask for help, accept physical limits, and reckon with a terrifying question: Who am I if I can't do what I used to do?

At the same time, layoffs and the uncertainty of contract work challenged his sense of security. Steve opens up about the emotional fallout of job loss, the urge to control outcomes, and the anxiety that can follow a diagnosis when ordinary aches suddenly feel loaded with meaning. He also talks honestly about how medical emergencies affect spouses and families, not just patients.

Through it all, his faith in God, his family's support, a sense of humor, and connections with others living with rare conditions helped him rethink what purpose looks like. You'll hear why he wears a medical alert bracelet, keeps health information handy, and believes that a respectful second question can matter.

This isn't a story about pretending fear disappears. It's about learning to live with uncertainty without letting it run the whole damn show.

Keywords: Steve Collins, vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, vEDS awareness, health anxiety, chronic illness mental health, rare disease diagnosis, medical trauma recovery, patient self-advocacy, faith over fear, letting go of control, job loss trauma, emotional resilience, chronic illness identity, caregiver mental health, finding purpose after illness

Meet Our Guest — Steve Collins

Steve Collins is a husband, stepfather, business leader, and man of faith living with vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), a rare genetic connective tissue disorder. As Strategic Partner and Principal Consultant at PADE HCM Services, he brings his professional experience into a new chapter of entrepreneurship while navigating the physical and emotional realities of his diagnosis. Through his story, Steve encourages others to advocate for their health, recognize the impact of medical trauma, and find meaning through faith, connection, and accepting what they cannot control.
Connect with Steve:

Company: PADE HCM Services

Website: https://www.padeservices.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StevevEDS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-collins-shrm-cp-ms-b47a2538a/

Key Takeaways

Self-advocacy can change everything. Steve's decision to ask for another review of his medical scan helped uncover a dangerous arterial dissection. Asking questions and speaking up about persistent concerns can be essential to getting appropriate care.

Medical trauma doesn't end when you leave the hospital. Living with vEDS means navigating uncertainty, physical restrictions, medication effects, and the emotional weight of knowing that serious complications can occur unexpectedly.

Your diagnosis doesn't define who you are. Steve struggled when activities that once gave him purpose became unsafe. He learned that helping others doesn't always require physical strength; sometimes encouragement and simply being present are just as meaningful.

Job loss can leave emotional scars even before it happens to you. Watching colleagues lose their jobs affected Steve's sense of security and led him to seek greater control over his financial future. His story reminds us that employment uncertainty can affect confidence, relationships, and emotional well-being.

Caregivers carry their own invisible burdens. While Steve was hospitalized, his wife managed their family, work, and the fear of potentially losing someone she loved. Supporting the people standing beside someone in crisis matters just as much.

Faith and community can help create purpose within uncertainty. Steve's relationship with God, his family, and others facing rare diagnoses helped him shift from focusing only on what he'd lost to recognizing how his experiences could encourage others.

Actionable Items

Advocate for yourself during medical appointments. Track your symptoms, ask questions when something doesn't make sense, and request clarification or a second opinion when concerns remain unresolved. Follow your medical team's guidance for urgent symptoms; don't delay emergency care.

Identify where you're holding on too tightly. Think about a situation involving work, health, finances, or relationships where you're trying to control every outcome. Ask yourself what you can genuinely influence, what you cannot, and where accepting support might make life easier.

Check on the caregivers, too. When someone you know is facing a health crisis, reach out to their spouse, partner, or family. Offer something specific, such as helping with a household task, bringing a meal, or simply listening without expecting them to have everything figured out.

Important Chapters

00:01:33 — Job Loss, Financial Uncertainty, and Finding Gratitude

00:02:37 — The Abdominal Pain That Changed Steve's Life

00:03:58 — Discovering an Arterial Dissection and a Rare Diagnosis

00:06:23 — Medical Trauma and the Hidden Struggles of Caregivers

00:08:47 — Finding Purpose in the Middle of Suffering

00:12:28 — Layoff Trauma, Fear, and the Need for Control

00:17:11 — Genetic Testing and Understanding Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

00:23:41 — The Importance of Medical Self-Advocacy

00:26:53 — Living with Health Anxiety and a New Normal

00:30:11 — Chronic Illness, Identity Loss, and Learning to Accept Help

00:33:59 — Parenting, Stress, and the Fear of Physical Complications

00:36:12 — Work-Life Balance and Learning to Prioritize Health

00:38:25 — What Steve Would Tell His Younger Self About Control

00:40:35 — Faith Over Fear and Trusting God Through Uncertainty

00:44:27 — Finding Community and Supporting Others with vEDS

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #VascularEDS #VEDSAwareness #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #RareDiseaseAwareness #MedicalSelfAdvocacy #ChronicIllnessJourney #HealthAnxiety #MedicalTrauma #FaithOverFear #JobLossRecovery #LettingGoOfControl #CaregiverSupport #LivingWithVEDS

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Can prison become the place where someone finally begins to heal from a lifetime of trauma? In Part 2, Ranae Van Roekel returns with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to discuss surviving a serious mental health crisis, discovering healthier coping skills during incarceration, rebuilding relationships, and creating a new purpose through Connecting to Cope.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“You are not the worst thing you ever did.” — Ranae Van Roekel

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

Content Notice: This episode includes discussions of suicidal thoughts, severe depression, childhood sexual trauma, incarceration, and mental health treatment. The conversation also explores recovery, self-worth, and the importance of supportive relationships.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit: https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

Imagine walking into prison carrying decades of shame, untreated childhood trauma, and the belief that your worst decisions are all you'll ever be remembered for. Now imagine discovering that healing is still possible.
In Part 2, Ranae Van Roekel returns to Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads for a powerful conversation with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles about mental health recovery, resilience, incarceration, and rebuilding a life after devastating choices.

Before entering prison, Ranae experienced severe depression and suicidal thoughts that led to a stay at a mental health treatment facility. Although she had begun recognizing her need for help, it wasn't until incarceration that she started confronting the childhood trauma she had spent decades suppressing.

Ranae shares how therapy, psychiatric care, physical activity, self-esteem classes, and meaningful friendships helped her challenge deeply ingrained beliefs about herself. A mental health professional who refused to accept her avoidance became especially important in helping her recognize destructive thinking patterns.

After serving 36 months, Ranae returned home during the COVID-19 pandemic. Reconnecting with her husband and sons, setting healthier boundaries, and welcoming her beloved dog, Cope, helped shape her next chapter.

That journey inspired Connecting to Cope, her platform for emotional wellness, self-care, and compassionate support.

Together, the trio explores how forgiveness differs from accountability, why healing requires ongoing effort, and how supportive relationships can help people rebuild without erasing the harm they've caused.

Ranae's message is simple but powerful: your past is part of your story, not your entire identity.

No matter how far you've fallen, the next step still matters.

Keywords: Ranae Van Roekel, healing after prison, mental health recovery, trauma healing, resilience and recovery, prison rehabilitation, second chances, suicide prevention, emotional resilience, mental health treatment, self-worth and shame, coping skills, rebuilding after incarceration, Connecting to Cope, personal transformation

Meet Our Guest — Ranae Van Roekel

Ranae Van Roekel is a mental health advocate, justice reform advocate, and founder of Connecting to Cope, an initiative focused on helping people find healing and growth beyond their circumstances. Drawing from her experiences with childhood trauma, federal incarceration, mental health treatment, and rebuilding her life, she encourages others to recognize their worth while taking responsibility for their actions. Ranae is also a wife, mother, grandmother, and devoted dog lover who believes that empathy, honest conversations, and ongoing personal work can create meaningful change.
Connect with Ranae:

Website: https://connectingtocope.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connectingtocope/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/connecting-to-cope/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingtoCope

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectingtocope/

Key Takeaways

Healing can begin in unexpected places. Ranae started confronting decades of unresolved childhood trauma while serving her prison sentence, although she acknowledges that incarceration itself does not guarantee healing.

Mental health recovery happens one step at a time. Counseling, physical activity, better sleep, and learning new ways of thinking helped Ranae build a healthier foundation.

Your past does not have to define your identity. Ranae encourages people to recognize the full picture of who they are rather than reducing themselves to their worst decisions.

Healthy boundaries are essential to rebuilding relationships. Returning home meant recognizing which friendships were supportive and which relationships were no longer healthy for her.

Real support includes accountability. Ranae credits her husband and sons with loving her while also challenging her when she slips into old people-pleasing patterns.

Recovery is an ongoing practice, not a finish line. Ranae openly acknowledges that she still experiences anxiety, makes mistakes, and must continually practice healthier coping skills.

Actionable Items

Start with one manageable step. Identify one small action that supports your well-being today, whether that's taking a walk, reaching out for support, or creating space to rest.

Challenge all-or-nothing self-judgment. When shame tells you that one mistake defines your entire life, remind yourself that you are responsible for your choices but are also capable of making new ones.

Strengthen your support system. Identify people who can listen without judgment, respect your boundaries, and lovingly hold you accountable when old habits return.

Important Chapters

00:00:46 — Finding Hope Before Entering Prison

00:01:44 — Severe Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and Getting Help

00:03:39 — Recognizing the Connection Between Trauma and Choices

00:05:05 — Saying Goodbye to Her Husband at Prison Intake

00:05:59 — The Moment Ranae Decided to Find Herself

00:06:30 — Therapy, Self-Esteem Classes, and Healthier Coping Skills

00:08:35 — Adjusting to Life Inside Federal Prison

00:11:35 — Finding Friendship and Support Behind Bars

00:14:26 — Discovering the Prison Service Dog Program

00:15:43 — The Mental Health Professional Who Challenged Her Thinking

00:18:52 — Escaping the Prison of Your Own Mind

00:20:22 — Coming Home During the COVID-19 Pandemic

00:24:00 — Friendship, Rejection, and Learning Healthy Boundaries

00:27:13 — Advice for Anyone Who Thinks They've Ruined Their Life

00:29:39 — Rebuilding Family Life After Incarceration

00:30:35 — Meeting Cope and Finding a New Purpose

00:34:02 — What Ranae Would Tell Her Younger Self

00:35:00 — Why You Shouldn't Push Away the People Who Love You

00:38:03 — Resilience, Self-Worth, and the Power of Words

00:39:21 — Connecting to Cope and Ranae's Children's Book

00:41:15 — You Are Not the Worst Thing You've Ever Done

00:42:07 — Family Accountability and Continuing the Work

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #RanaeVanRoekel #HealingAfterPrison #MentalHealthRecovery #TraumaHealing #ResilienceMatters #SecondChances #PrisonReform #SuicidePrevention #SelfWorth #HealthyCopingSkills #EmotionalResilience #LifeAfterIncarceration #ConnectingToCope #OvercomingShame #KeepDoingTheWork

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when unresolved childhood trauma, decades of people-pleasing, and the fear of being judged lead you down a path you never imagined? In Part 1, Ranae Van Roekel joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles for a deeply honest conversation about childhood sexual trauma, anxiety, shame, financial fraud, and the life-changing decision to take responsibility for her actions.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“I’m not saying I’m stupid. I’m saying I made a stupid choice.” — Ranae Van Roekel

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

Content Notice: This episode includes discussions of childhood sexual assault, rape, suicidal thoughts, depression, financial fraud, and the emotional impact of incarceration. Please listen with care and take a break if you need one.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit: https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

What happens when the trauma you've spent your entire life hiding starts shaping decisions you never thought you'd make?
In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles welcome Ranae Van Roekel, a wife, mother, grandmother, and founder of Connecting to Cope, for an unfiltered discussion about childhood sexual trauma, people-pleasing, shame, and taking accountability when everything falls apart.

As a young girl, Ranae experienced sexual assault and tried to tell trusted adults what happened. Instead of receiving the support she needed, she learned to associate her experience with being "bad." That belief followed her into adulthood, contributing to a pattern of overcommitting, seeking approval, and struggling to face difficult truths.

Years later, what began as a small ticket-reselling business spiraled into fraudulent transactions. Ranae admits she made illegal choices while desperately trying to fix a situation that kept getting worse. The pressure, anxiety, and fear became overwhelming. Eventually, she faced a terrifying crossroads: end her life or come forward and take responsibility.

She chose to tell the truth.

Ranae shares what happened when she voluntarily contacted authorities, confessed to her husband, and began reaching out to the people she had harmed. The conversation also explores the emotional cost of apologizing, the impact of public judgment, and how her family's reactions changed everything.

This isn't a story about using trauma to excuse wrongdoing. It's about understanding how unresolved pain can shape behavior while recognizing that accountability and healing can coexist.

Sometimes, the first step toward changing your life is admitting that you can't keep living the way you have been.

Keywords: Ranae Van Roekel, childhood trauma recovery, people-pleasing, mental health and shame, sexual assault survivor, unresolved trauma, trauma responses, anxiety and depression, accountability and healing, overcoming guilt, mental health crisis, emotional resilience, family support, Connecting to Cope, mental health podcast

Meet Our Guest — Ranae Van Roekel

Ranae Van Roekel founded Connecting to Cope, a platform that helps people navigate trauma, emotional struggles, and personal growth through education, self-care, and community. After serving 36 months in federal prison, Ranae transformed her experiences with unresolved childhood trauma, accountability, and mental health recovery into a mission centered on compassion and second chances. Today, she also advocates for justice reform and a greater understanding of the human experiences behind incarceration.
Connect with Ranae:

Website: https://connectingtocope.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connectingtocope/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/connecting-to-cope/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingtoCope

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectingtocope/

Key Takeaways

Unresolved trauma can affect choices decades later. Ranae's childhood experience shaped how she saw herself, handled conflict, and sought others' approval.

People-pleasing can become a damaging coping pattern. Constantly trying to make everyone happy made it harder for Ranae to acknowledge problems and set boundaries.

Trauma explains context, not responsibility. Ranae distinguishes between the experiences that influenced her thinking and the criminal decisions she ultimately made.

Shame can keep people trapped in unhealthy cycles. Believing she was inherently "bad" fueled Ranae's fear of judgment and her avoidance of difficult conversations.

Taking accountability doesn't guarantee forgiveness. Ranae's apologies were important, even when the people she harmed remained understandably angry.

Support can make confronting the truth possible. Her husband's eventual willingness to face the consequences alongside her became a significant source of stability.

Actionable Items

Notice your people-pleasing patterns. The next time you're tempted to say yes when you're already overwhelmed, ask yourself whether you're acting from genuine willingness or fear of disappointing someone.

Separate your behavior from your identity. When you make a mistake, acknowledge what happened and what needs to change without automatically deciding that you are a terrible person.

Tell someone when you're struggling. If shame, anxiety, or an unresolved problem feels too heavy to handle alone, reach out to a trusted person or qualified mental health professional rather than trying to fix everything yourself.

Important Chapters

00:01:08 — Ranae Opens Up About Her Story and Her Mission to Help Others

00:01:38 — The Prison Doors That Changed Everything

00:04:03 — The Decision to Stop Hiding and Come Forward

00:05:45 — Choosing to Tell the Truth During a Mental Health Crisis

00:07:26 — The Federal Fraud Conviction

00:09:27 — Childhood Sexual Trauma and the Shame That Followed

00:11:11 — How a Small Ticket Business Became Financial Fraud

00:14:08 — People-Pleasing, Dissociation, and Trying to Fix Everything

00:18:15 — Telling Her Husband and Family the Truth

00:21:05 — A Husband's Anger, Love, and Decision to Stay

00:22:05 — Apologizing to the People She Harmed

00:23:55 — Federal Sentencing and Justice System Concerns

00:29:27 — The Emotional Toll of Shame and Apologizing

00:30:51 — Community Judgment and Protecting Her Family

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #RanaeVanRoekel #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaRecovery #PeoplePleasing #BreakingTheShameCycle #SexualAssaultSurvivor #AccountabilityAndHealing #MentalHealthRecovery #AnxietyAwareness #OvercomingShame #EmotionalHealing #FamilySupport #ConnectingToCope #SecondChances #HealingFromTrauma

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.