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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
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  • Ryan Shelton - The Friend I Want To Be
    It’s a different sort of episode(s) this week. 🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep Because, drum roll please*,* we have a BRAND-NEW deck of Vulnerabilitea House Cards, with 52 brand-new, life-changing questions. That’s right baby, Volume II is available for purchase. Now. This week, we are releasing three whole episodes (lucky you). Each episode will feature either Ryan, Hugh or Josh in the spotlight as they answer one of our new Vulernabilitea House questions. In this episode, Ryan answers the question, “do you have any regrets about the way you have treated others?” and talks about his relationship with Hugh, and why he has been feeling guilty. See you Wednesday! If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube (and see the new Tequila-Sunrise Card Deck), follow this link - https://youtu.be/PDsY2kaA4uU 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - Truth vs Harmony - http://bit.ly/4pCtl3D Hamish McLachlan - A World Turned Upside Down - http://bit.ly/42NYPd9 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/ 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 💌To subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, click here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Mitch Brown - AFL’s First Openly Bisexual Man
    This moment is bigger than Mitch Brown. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy. Tie up your laces and pull up your socks, this story is ones for the ages. As the first male AFL player in the sport’s 129 year history to come out as bisexual, Mitch, and the public’s reaction to his story, epitomises the importance of visibility, role models and the creation of safe and inclusive environments. Joining us in the studio, Mitch takes us back to the beginning, vulnerably telling Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the hyper-masculine environments which formed (and suppressed) his identity from a young age. Talking through his newfound imposter syndrome, past-mistakes, and journey to finding his true, authentic self, Mitch emphasizes the critical importance of empathy. Confiding with the guys about how monumental, overwhelming and joyful the past few weeks have been, Mitch also acknowledges the deep grief of people in his life who felt like they had let him down. Mitch, you are making the world a better place. We love you (so much). If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/cLHU4CJkqww This episode discusses an experience of sexual assault, if this is something you're not ready to hear right now, we suggest you skip this one and come back when you are ready. 🎧Things to listen to: The Daily Aus - Part 1: The AFL’s first openly bisexual player - http://bit.ly/4nHyQfJ The Daily Aus - Part 2: The AFL’s first openly bisexual player - http://bit.ly/3VpMdVM 🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling, these are a few great resources QLife - provides anonymous and free LGBTI peer support and referral for people over 18 wanting to talk about sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships. 1800 184 527, www.qlife.org.au Minus 18 - Through a preventative model of mental health support, Minus 18 tackle social isolation by creating fun-filled spaces where LGBTQIA+ people under 18 feel they belong and are celebrated www.minus18.org.au 1800 RESPECT - If you, or someone you know needs support after after experiencing a sexual assault, please call the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732. Lifeline - 13 11 14, www.lifeline.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Matt Okine - Comedy & Tragedy
    Matt Okine has been privy to a few life changing events. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Hailing from Triple J infamy (the radio station ……. not the athletic event), Matt has seen success across television screens, the comedy scene and music stage. A triple threat, you might say. Joining us in the studio, Matt is incredibly vulnerable in sharing with Hugh, Ryan, and Josh the pain and confusion of losing his mum at just 12 years old, and how becoming a parent himself has filled him with an irrational, but at times crippling, fear of death. Matt and Ryan bond over the cathartic and confronting process of writing about yourself as a character, who doesn’t always get it right, and Matt talks to Josh about jealousy and how he learned to trust again after being cheated on. Matt, what a feeling. If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/SnV65OzHxEg 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - Meaning of Mid-Life - http://bit.ly/3JRXb3O 📺 Things to watch The Other Guy - https://bit.ly/4m32zOL Ryan and Matt’s Legendary Moments Ad - https://bit.ly/4pfHxPE 🎧Things to listen to Helen’s Message 1992 - Matt and Alex - All Day Breakfast - http://bit.ly/46tLede 📖 Things to read Being Black ‘n Chicken, and Chips by Matt Okine - http://bit.ly/4nl9OCP 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Karissa Lewis - We're Not Better Off Without You
    Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians aged 15 to 44. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy On average in Australia, 9 people die by suicide each day, and for every suicide, it is suggested 135 people find themselves in the impact zone. Today we speak to Karissa Lewis, a lived experience practitioner, who sits with those in perhaps their darkest moment, in the hours, days and weeks after someone they know has died by suicide. We discuss what a lived experience practitioner is, how it is professionalised, and how postvention (done well) is the most incredible prevention. Going into specifics, Ryan asks Karissa what the impact zone is like in a school environment, and how you can know what to say, what to do, and how to talk to children about suicide with honesty and age-appropriate language. Karissa is candid with Hugh, Ryan, and Josh about the stigma of suicide, which prompts Josh to share a story about the complicated nature of the word ‘choice’. And we get some scientific evidence of the power of a good cry. Life is not better off without you. To watch this incredible episode on YouTube, follow this link: 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Dr Emily - Grief Lightening - https://bit.ly/4nijyxP Samuel Johnson - A Life of Vulnerability - https://bit.ly/4mK0zvW 📖 Things to read Is crying good for you? - https://bit.ly/41ys2Iy Zone of Fabulousness by Vikki Reynolds - https://bit.ly/3I0i5Nv 📱Things to download Beyond Now - Safety Planning App - https://bit.ly/466T9Mo 💻Things to check out Social Futures StandBy Support After Suicide - https://bit.ly/4mHWZ5s National Centre for Childhood Grief - https://bit.ly/466ONop Certificate IV in Mental Health Peer Work (there’s lots!) Living Works Australia - ASIST 2 Day Course - https://bit.ly/429tNMz 🎟️Things to buy tickets for Together Again, Imperfects Live Show - https://bit.ly/47VT9Bc 🚨If you, or someone you know, is thinking about suicide; Contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. 13YARN (Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Crisis Support Line) – 13 92 76 Please call 000 in an emergency StandBy Support After Suicide – 1300 727 247 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Dr Emily - The Meaning of Mid-Life
    Mid-life crises have a bad rap. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joined by our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove, this emisode is for everyone, but especially for those who’s back goes out more than them, and who are trying to fill the void with purpose (or a ponytail, or a sports car). Technically, you’re in your mid-life from about the ages of 35-70. Which would be quite bleak, if we didn’t have Dr Emily in the studio to reframe this period of our lives with hope, meaning and purpose. Tuning into what our soul is yearning for, Dr Emily discusses how we can intentionally look at generating legacy, combat narratives which suggest “we should have it all worked out”, and maybe even turn our intelligence into a …. um, butterfly. And then we hear from Josh, who’s right in the thick of it. Cue tears. Cue hugs. Cue sending Josh all of the love in the entire world. Dr Em, you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/r6tdU-r5k4o 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Elizabeth Day - The Me-est Version of Me - http://bit.ly/3HTMKMi Lauren Zonfrillo - Grief: The Shittest Greatest Gift - http://bit.ly/4fYJonW Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - http://bit.ly/45BW9kU 📖Things to read Unstuck, by Dr Emily Musgrove - http://bit.ly/4mAhUaA Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Your Life, by James Hollis - http://bit.ly/41oMED0 From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C Brooks - http://bit.ly/4lFObvD 💻Things to check out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development - http://bit.ly/4oV1knq Jungian Therapy - http://bit.ly/3JyslNh Chip Connolly - Modern Elder Academy - http://bit.ly/4fZUN70 Kristen Neff - Online Self Compassion Practice - http://bit.ly/4mUIs68 Chris Germer - Mindful Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/3Vj5d82 Paul Gilbert - Developing Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/4fYN74U Regina Gurlach - Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/3HO1Xi2 U-Shaped Curve of Happiness - http://bit.ly/4p0m5hQ Ron Siegel - The Disillusion of Living - http://bit.ly/4fYO11i 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Over The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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