The School Can't Experience

We're taking a short break over the school holidays, so this week we're revisiting one of our most special episodes from the archive, the first time we've ever had a parent and their young person on the podcast together.
Simone and Yani joined us to share their long journey with School Can't, telling the same story from two very different vantage points. What makes this episode unlike almost anything else we've published is the chance to hear directly from Yani - now a teenager attending TAFE -  about what the experience actually felt like from the inside.
Yani is candid, thoughtful, and has a lot to say. They talk about what made small schools feel safe and large ones feel overwhelming, what it was like to know that dragging a child into school is a kind of violence even when the adults don't see it that way, and what it meant to have a parent who, on one memorable occasion, just said, "stuff it, we're going to the beach." They also describe finally finding education that works at TAFE, where being treated like an adult made all the difference.
Simone speaks honestly about the impossible logistics of managing a demanding job alongside a child who couldn't always get out of the car, about being told by her co-parent that the problem was something she was doing wrong, and about the long process of trusting her own instincts over the noise of what she was supposed to do.
If you're a parent who has felt like you were failing, or who has wondered what your young person is actually experiencing on the inside, this episode is worth your time.
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If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Raechel Smart is a former primary school teacher, a parent to three neurodivergent children who has navigated years of school non-attendance from the other side of the fence, and is now completing her PhD on school non-attendance in autistic children at Griffith University's Autism Centre of Excellence. That combination gives her a genuinely rare vantage point, and this conversation makes the most of it.
One of Raechel's most striking research findings is that many teachers hold an underlying belief that non-attendance is ultimately the child's choice. She traces exactly how that belief forms - a child who presents as fine when they're at school, a teacher who can't see what more they could do to support them -  and how it leads directly to the child being blamed rather than supported.
Her proposed reframe is the environment. Not blaming teachers, not asking for structural changes outside anyone's control, but asking: what is it about this environment  - the noise, the social load, the pace, the unpredictability - that isn't working for this student? That question is less threatening to raise and often more actionable. 
The practical suggestions throughout are genuinely modest: a Teams message, a check-in email, a questionnaire done at home and brought to the teacher. For parents, Raechel has one key tip: frame conversations with schools around the environment rather than around what the teacher is doing wrong. It triggers less defensiveness, and it tends to actually get somewhere.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
National Guidance for Inclusive Education for Autistic Students (Australia): https://www.autismcrc.com.au/best-practice/inclusive-education
Reframing Autism -  free courses and resources from an autistic-led organisation: reframingautism.com.au 
Raechel Smart on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/raechel-smart-315ba4122/
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Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Dr Shelley Moore is one of the most widely cited voices in inclusive education, working with schools, organisations, and jurisdictions around the world on how to make education genuinely accessible for all students. She also hated school herself, was bullied badly enough to lose hearing in one ear, and has spent her career asking why the system keeps trying to fix the kids rather than the conditions.
In this conversation with Leisa, Shelley starts with the history of autism and disability classes: why the research is clear that segregated programs don't provide equal access to education, why that doesn't mean autistic community and identity should be dismantled, and how schools can offer congregation without segregation.There are no easy answers here, and that families sometimes make the right call for their child even when it conflicts with the research.
The bigger argument running through the episode is that schools are still designed for the Industrial Revolution workforce: rows of seats, bells, standardisation, compliance. That design is failing an increasing proportion of students, and the solution isn't to produce more IEPs or more specialist programs. It's planning for goals rather than activities, and designing for what students are rather than what they're not.
Shelley introduces the Five Dimensions framework (Identities, Interests, Strengths, Stretches, and Needs) as a practical starting point for getting to know a class before designing for it. She also shares what she calls educational guerrilla tactics for parents: rather than fighting for what your child needs, advocate for what the teacher needs: training, resources, collaboration time, because that way the whole community ends up supporting your child, not just you.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Dr Shelley Moore: website: https://www.drshelleymoore.com/
Outside Pin collective: https://www.outsidepinconsulting.com/
Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Content warning: This episode contains discussion of physical and verbal aggression directed at parents and caregivers by young people in acute distress, including descriptions of property damage, physical assault, and extreme verbal behaviour. Please take care of yourself as you listen. Hit pause whenever you need to, and come back when you're ready.
If you or your family are in immediate danger, please call Triple Zero (000) for assistance. 
If you are feeling overwhelmed or distressed, please reach out to Lifeline. 
Call 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or chat online at lifeline.org.au.
This episode is a collaboration between School Can't Australia and Yellow Ladybugs made possible through funding from the Information, Linkages and Capacity Building Grant.
This is the first of two special episodes with Yellow Ladybugs, who are dedicated to the happiness, success, and celebration of autistic girls, women, and gender diverse folk. Leisa is joined by founder Katie Koullas and Natasha Staheli for a conversation about something far more common in our communities than is ever openly discussed: what happens when a young person's distress is expressed outwardly in ways that are frightening and isolating for families.
This episode talks plainly about young people throwing objects, punching holes in walls, physically hitting parents, and using extreme verbal language. It names clearly from the outset that all of this behaviour comes from a place of acute distress, from a nervous system in full fight response, from a child who has often been trying to communicate unmet needs for a very long time.
Katie, Natasha, and Leisa explore why this happens, why it so often lands on mums, and why instinctive parenting responses like sending kids to their room can actively make things worse. They cover the PACE framework (Playful, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy), safety planning, the realities of involving police or child protection, the impact on partnerships, and what repair after an incident can actually look like.
This is a conversation wrapped in shame for too many families. You are not alone. 
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Yellow Ladybugs Safety Plan Template:https://yellowladybugs.sharepoint.com/:b:/s/YellowLadybugs/IQBakAfYPN5_Sa7vDqFR6b8ZAUayZhsJcXpemWtLhY-_52s?e=Fveiii
PACE Strategy, Yellow Ladybugs Podcast Ep 4 with Dr Alberto Veloso:https://open.spotify.com/episode/5XoCkUD6qPus0GHHkGQZVv?si=UVXSM-ojTbyStOsKBMuyjA
Dialectics and DBT panel with Sonny Jane Wise and Sarah Hens:https://vimeo.com/1215986538/b08abd3258?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci
Yellow Ladybugs: yellowladybugs.com.au
Dr Alberto Veloso, Relational Minds: relationalminds.com.au
A list of support resources for families experiencing adolescent or child violence in the home: https://ap1.hubs.ly/H01m7TB0
Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Content warning: Tammie briefly mentions suicidal ideation in this episode. We also discuss instances of violent behaviour stemming from dysregulation and overwhelm.
Tammie is a School Can't mum raising an autistic son in rural Victoria. When mainstream school stopped working for her son, there were no alternative schools, no specialist programs, no hybrid options within reach. The choice was mainstream or nothing, and for years, she kept choosing mainstream because no one ever told her she didn't have to.
This episode is her account of those years: the Groundhog Day mornings with no sleep behind them, the evacuated classrooms, the Child Protection call she received because her son wasn't attending school, the moment she turned up after an hour and a half of trying to get him there and found his aide wasn't in that day. And the realisation that eventually came: "I thought I was failing him by not sending him to school. I realised I was failing him by sending him."
Eighteen months after pulling him out, Tammie describes a completely different kid. He sleeps. He's regulated. He's happy. He recently told her he'd like "some friends I can touch." Eight months of gaming and sleeping and complete decompression came first. And she now sees that as the best thing she could have done for both of them.
Tammie is also honest about what's still hard: the social piece is genuinely unsolved, and rural isolation makes it harder. But she's clear on her priorities. Mental health first. Everything else after.
Her message to parents still in the thick of it is direct: take them out for a term, six months, a year — you can always go back. Almost certainly, you'll see a change. And ask yourself honestly whether your child is actually learning anything in the state they're in.

Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...