Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

How much should parents actually expect from their teenagers?
Good grades. A clean room. Trying hard in sports. Going to church. Being grateful. Making good choices. And preferably doing all of it with a great attitude. 😂
This week, Dr. Ken Wilgus and Cynthia Yanof are talking about unrealistic expectations—and whether giving teens more independence means parents are somehow lowering the bar.
Spoiler alert: Dr. Ken says parents aren’t necessarily lowering the bar. They’re handing the bar over to their teen.
They cover grades, sports and activities, church and faith, and even gratitude—along with why constantly managing kids toward success can sometimes backfire when those kids eventually leave home and have to manage life for themselves.
And yes, somewhere in there Cynthia tells the story of discovering ants in her child’s bed thanks to an entire summer’s worth of secret snacks. So clearly, they are not advocating for zero expectations. 
And stay tuned—there are plenty more expectations to tackle, next week on Part 2 they will cover things like money, laundry, friends and dating, honesty, clothes, tattoos, piercings, and more.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 
You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
 
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

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Meta is rolling out major new restrictions for users under 18 on Instagram and Facebook, and Dr. Ken was fired up enough about it that we interrupted our Parenting Pitfalls series to talk about it. After comparing our own slightly horrifying screen-time numbers, we dig into the new limits on usage, overnight access, notifications, like counts, age verification, filters, and parental supervision.
But the bigger question is what parents do with all of this. Dr. Ken explains why these changes give parents some much-needed backup when it comes to setting limits—and why they also create a great opening for better conversations with our kids. Because for the first time, it’s not just parents saying social media might be too much. Meta is saying it too.
If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 
You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
 
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com

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Dr. Ken and Cynthia are back with another Parenting Pitfall: are we too available for our teens? Being involved and willing to help feels like good parenting, but at some point, always being available can keep our kids from learning to handle things themselves.
From making appointments and managing schedules to stepping in with teachers, coaches, and even employers, Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about why parents need to become less available as their kids get older. They also dig into the harder question: do we keep doing too much because we still want to feel needed? It’s a practical look at how our availability today can impact our teen’s independence tomorrow.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 
You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
 
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are tackling one of the easiest parenting traps to fall into: nagging. When does a helpful reminder become something that’s actually keeping our teens from taking responsibility for themselves?
They talk through chores, school, jobs, college applications, executive functioning struggles, and why sometimes the best thing we can do is stop being our kid’s personal reminder system. Plus, Dr. Ken explains why holding boundaries—even when your teen is mad about it—doesn’t damage the relationship. Turns out, they can be annoyed with us now and still want to come home when they’re grown adults.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 
You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
 
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Does your teenager really need their own room? This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle a question that stirs up plenty of parent guilt: are we hurting our kids if they have to share a bedroom? Dr. Ken explains that while, in a perfect world, giving a teenager their own room can be a helpful way to communicate growing independence, it's far from a requirement for raising healthy, well-adjusted kids.
They discuss the surprising benefits of sharing a room, why parents shouldn't feel guilty if space is limited, and how to continue giving teens more freedom and responsibility—even when they're sharing with a sibling. You'll also hear practical advice for handling conflicts over messes, sleep schedules, and personal space, why older siblings should be held to a higher standard without becoming a second parent, and when it's time for boys and girls to have separate rooms. It's a practical, encouraging conversation that will help parents focus less on square footage and more on preparing their teens for adulthood.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 
You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
 
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy