The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. Hosted by Amanda Diekman—au...
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Robyn Gobbel, trauma therapist and author of Big Baffling Behaviors. Together, we explore how to talk to our kids about their brains, why it matters so much, and how understanding our nervous systems helps us parent with compassion and connection. Robyn shares her Owl, Watchdog, and Possum framework—a playful and accessible way to explain our brain states—and we dive deep into how nervous system science can transform the way we understand our kids’ struggles, our own reactions, and the path to healing for the whole family. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt baffled by their child’s behavior and longed for a way to explain the unexplainable—with love, curiosity, and a lot less shame.
Explore the Restore Your Soul Mastermind here --> Mastermind
LINKS FOR MORE DETAILS:
• Robyn Gobbel’s website: https://robyngobbel.com
• Robyn’s book Big Baffling Behaviors: https://robyngobbel.com/book
• Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges: https://www.stephenporges.com
• Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model: https://www.neurosequential.com
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26:51
Won't versus Can't: The mindset shift that changes everything
When I started practicing low demand parenting, it wasn’t because I read a book or found a perfect system. It was because our family hit a wall—and nothing else was working. One of the very first mindset shifts that saved me, and continues to guide me every single day, is this: shifting from won’t to can’t.
This episode is all about that shift—from believing our kids (or ourselves) won’t do something, to realizing they can’t in this moment. I unpack:
Where the “won’t” mentality comes from and why it’s so ingrained in us.
How shifting to “can’t” opens up curiosity and compassion (for your kid and yourself).
What happens in the early phases of low demand parenting when all the hidden can’ts start tumbling out.
How safety, masking, and nervous system overwhelm all play into what your child can (and can’t) do—and how that changes from moment to moment.
If you’ve ever thought, “They won’t just put their shoes on, they won’t go to bed without me, they won’t do their homework,” this episode is for you. Let’s rethink it together.
ADDITIONAL LINKS
Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (Plan B) - https://www.livesinthebalance.org
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Previous episode: What is Low Demand Parenting?
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom
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18:48
Mailbag: Toileting & body care
Toileting struggles, periods, and body care—these are some of the trickiest internal demands our kids face. When a child refuses to wear a seatbelt, smears poop, or struggles with managing their period, how do we support them in a way that respects their nervous system while still meeting real needs?
In this episode, I break down:
• What internal demands are and why they can be so distressing for neurodivergent kids
• How burnout impacts basic needs like sleep, eating, and toileting
• Why forcing solutions backfires—and how to approach these struggles through support, not control
• Creative, low-demand ways to navigate seatbelt struggles, poop smearing, and period care
• How parents can reduce their own stress while supporting kids who struggle with bodily functions
This episode is for every parent who’s felt like, “I can’t drop this demand, but I also can’t keep fighting this battle.”
Additional Resources:
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom
Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more!
Instagram
Facebook
Pinterest
The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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22:09
Marriage and PDA: Living the low demand way
How do you create a low-demand partnership while raising neurodivergent kids? This week, I sit down with Lindsay and Daryl Flanagan—fellow low-demand parents—who share their journey of shifting from traditional parenting to a more intuitive, needs-centered approach. We explore how dropping demands for each other and for our children has transformed their relationship and family life.
In this episode, we discuss:
✔️ Letting go of traditional expectations in relationships and parenting.
✔️ Navigating marriage when one or both partners are neurodivergent.
✔️ The power of humor, shorthand phrases, and texting in low-demand communication.
✔️ How to balance needs and avoid resentment in a partnership.
✔️ Understanding PDA in both kids and adults—and how it impacts relationships.
✔️ Why acknowledging capacity (not intent) is key to mutual respect.
If you’re wondering how to create a partnership that thrives alongside parenting neurodivergent kids, this episode is for you! 🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts!
More Resources:
Follow Lindsay (with cameos from Daryl) on Instagram
Discover Lindsay’s courses, coaching, and community through Hive Parents
Brooke from No Pressure PDA – insight on humor as a signal of safety.
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom
Follow us on social for updates on the podcast, blog, and more!
Instagram
Facebook
Pinterest
The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!
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24:38
Trusting Their 'No'
In this heartfelt and insightful episode, I dive into the essential work of teaching our kids to trust themselves, even when the world tells them otherwise. Using real-life examples, I share how traditional parenting approaches—like pushing through discomfort or faking calm—can break trust and escalate stress. Instead, I advocate for dropping the demands, honoring a child’s “no,” and embracing co-regulation as a path to healing and connection.
You’ll learn:
Why your child’s meltdowns are not your fault and how to reframe them as panic responses.
The power of honoring your child’s body cues and trusting their “no.”
How traditional ideas like “pushing through” can harm sensitive kids.
Why co-regulation is about authenticity, not forced calm.
Practical ways to stay connected to your child, even when their distress is distressing you.
This episode is a permission slip to drop the weight of perfectionism and embrace honest, boundaried, and compassionate parenting.
The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. Hosted by Amanda Diekman—author, autistic adult, and mom of three—this podcast isn’t about perfection or expert advice. It’s about learning together how to drop the demands that weigh us down and find the ease we crave in our families. Whether you’re navigating neurodivergence, challenging behaviors, or simply the highs and lows of life, this show offers honest conversations, practical insights, and a whole lot of compassion. Let's thrive, even when it feels like life is on level 12 hard.
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