Sex and Psychology Podcast

Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you’re ecstatic. When they don’t, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person.

My guest is Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

How is limerence different from lust and love?

What happens in the brain during limerence?

Why does uncertainty fuel romantic obsession?

Is modern dating making limerence more common?

What emotional needs or life circumstances make someone more vulnerable to limerence?

You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that’s something technique alone can’t fix. Today, we’ll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure.

I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

Why orgasm is more than a physical response

How shame and trauma quietly shape your sex life

Why “spectatoring” kills pleasure

When trying to fix your partner backfires

How to reconnect with your body during sex

To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase. 

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths.

My guest is Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

What does it mean to treat sexual symptoms as a form of unconscious communication?

Why is it important to get curious about the deeper issues behind sexual problems?

If someone is experiencing “out of control” porn use, what might the deeper issue behind that be?

What kind of emotional information do sexual fantasies carry?

What does healing or recovery from a sexual problem actually look like?

To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

If you want to make this year less about fixing yourself and more about understanding yourself, check out Beducated. Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2602-lehmiller 

Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN.

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we’re exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things.

I am joined once again by Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

What is age play, and why are some people drawn to it?

What’s the psychological appeal of pet play?

Where do sensory-based kinks like balloon play come from?

How can we help people think about sexual diversity in a way that’s more curious than judgmental?

You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase. 

The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html 

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people hear the word “kink,” they often imagine something extreme. However, kink is actually far broader and more common than most people realize. In today’s show, we’re unpacking what kink is, what it isn’t, and why people want what they want. If you’ve ever wondered “why are people into that?”, this episode is for you.

My guest is Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What does the term kink really mean? Can anything be kinky?

Where do kinks come from?

Do kinky interests always have some deeper meaning?

Why are power dynamics so commonly eroticized?

What are the biggest things people get wrong about kink?

You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors! 

Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase. 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.