Sh*t You Wouldn’t Ask Your Therapist | Heartbreak Hurts Here's Why
In today’s episode, John Kim takes on your raw, unfiltered questions about love — from the heartbreak of seeing an ex with someone new, to the chaos of dating in your 40s, to navigating loneliness, trauma, and self-worth. It’s the real talk you’ve been craving: messy, honest, and maybe the perspective you need to keep moving forward.
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
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23:11
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23:11
When You Shut the Door on Miracles
What if it’s not the big traumas that hold us back, but the tiny cracks in how we think each day? In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa unpack how we unconsciously block miracles - through catastrophizing, over-stimulation, and self-protection - and how small shifts in mindset can open the door to flow, joy, and unexpected magic.
If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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20:34
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20:34
Still Stuck on Your Ex | This is Why
Closure isn’t a door you wait to have slammed shut - it’s a bridge you build. In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim breaks the biggest “closure” myths and shows you how to move forward without an apology, a perfect explanation, or one last text. If you’ve felt stuck in relationship residue, this is your map.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why “waiting for closure” keeps you stuck
Acceptance over answers (and why that heals faster)
How to generate closure without contact
Turning an expired relationship into a stronger self
Realism > idealism: healing as a process, not an event
Community & service as fuel for resilience
If this helped, follow the show on Spotify and share it with someone who needs it today.
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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15:49
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15:49
Stop Guessing Their Love: Say What Lands
A 30-second, playful moment sparked this episode - and a reminder: love isn’t generic. We break down how to speak love so it lands without abandoning yourself, especially when partners differ.
What you’ll learn (10 takeaways):
Love isn’t generic - different emotional blueprints
How to avoid the “I’m giving everything, it’s still not enough” trap
Building emotional safety so defenses drop
Reducing resentment & energy burnout
Deepening intimacy beyond the physical
Faster conflict repair by making the nervous system feel safe
Future-proofing with regular “What makes you feel most loved?” check-ins
Co-regulation: why the right love calms insecure attachment
Turning micro-moments into daily bonding rituals
Why guessing breaks trust (love is a skill)
Try this today: Ask your partner, “What lands for you this week?” Then do one unexpected gesture in their way of receiving love (a short note, a quick chore, five phone-free minutes together, a gentle touch, a tiny gift).
If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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26:08
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26:08
From Nauseous Nights to Perfect Mornings | Life in Costa Rica
In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim takes you inside his personal journey of building a new life in Costa Rica - the highs, the lows, and the unexpected lessons about presence, clarity, and decision-making. From nausea-inducing dirt roads to perfect mornings surfing in Costa Rica, John unpacks how life-changing decisions aren’t made in one big moment… but in a collection of small ones.
You’ll learn:
Why clarity about life, love, and career comes from moments, not constant certainty
How to notice and “bank” the moments that matter when deciding whether to move abroad, who to love, or what path to take
The challenges of living in Costa Rica - from unpaved roads to missing city comforts and the surprising joys that outweigh them
How being present is the only way to truly capture moments (and how most of us miss them)
Why life’s “yes” often comes from an accumulation of tiny affirmations rather than a single sign
Join the conversation! What moments have shaped your biggest life decisions? Have you noticed when your “piggy bank” of yeses finally tipped the scale? Share your story with us.
Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about expat life, self-discovery, and building a life that actually feels like yours.
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Audio-Only Episodes. Captain’s Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whatever’s clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.
Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This one’s for you.
Netherlands