Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

• When We Feel Oppressed by Our Kids: Working with Merged Parts

  In this deeply honest episode, Cara and Rythea dive into the nuanced world of non-coercive parenting through the lens of Internal Family Systems, Parts Work Therapy, and Inner Bonding. They unpack what it means to parent in the moment while working with merged parts—protective internal voices that take over when we're triggered, especially by our kids.This episode explores the uncomfortable but powerful truth: sometimes we see our child as our abuser. Cara and Rythea get real about how this perception emerges, how it relates to unhealed trauma, and how those reactive parts are trying—however messily—to protect us.Cara and Rythea share real-life examples when their children activated them, and how they identified and engaged with the parts that took over. They talk about what it’s like to notice in real time when you're not in your Self and how to compassionately return.Key TopicsUnderstanding merged parts and protectorsTools for recognizing when you're not in Self and how to returnProjecting past trauma onto your childThe healing potential of seeing your protectors as helpers, not enemiesCultivating Self-EnergyDismantling parental shame and reconnecting to our childrenThis work isn’t about parenting perfectly. It’s about parenting from presence, about having a relationship with yourself so that you can have an authentic connection with your child. By integrating your own protective parts, you make space for your Self-Energy to lead—and from there, all relationships, especially with your kids, become more truthful and safe.ResourcesMeditations by Dick Schwartz https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartzThe One Inside podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-one-inside-an-internal-family-systems-ifs-podcast/id1460334766Inner Bonding https://www.innerbonding.com/Book with Rythea calendly.com/rytheaBook with Cara calendly.com/caratedstonetherapySupport https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

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• Reparenting the Self: A Non-Parent’s Journey Applying the Collaborative Parenting Philosophy to BPD Recovery and Reparenting

  In this episode, we sit down with our social media manager/helper/everything-assistant, Joey D’Angelo, who shares their relationship with our work on the podcast. Joey is not a parent, but is full of childlike wonder and endless compassion, and has been on a recovery journey which includes reparenting herself. What happens when we turn the principles of mutual respect, emotional regulation, and co-regulation inward? Joey shares the impact of their upbringing and how that led to their development of Borderline Personality Disorder (aka Emotional Dysregulation), and their journey through BPD recovery, re-building self-trust, reparenting, and applying conscious parenting methods to heal inner wounds. Together we explore reparenting through the lens of collaborative parenting—without parenting any children. On this episode, we discuss: ✨ What is reparenting is, and how to recover our inherent self-trust ✨ Learning new relational languages that are non-coercive, and how this neurological rewiring is challenging in the short term, but will create more peaceful relationships in the long term. ✨ How collaborative parenting principles—like connection over correction—apply to self-growth and personal healing ✨ Practical ways to nurture your inner child with empathy and patience ✨ The challenges and breakthroughs of unlearning harsh self-talk and internalized criticismWhether you're a parent or not, this conversation offers powerful insights into healing, self-trust, and cultivating an internal environment of love and understanding. Joey is a gender non-conforming, neurodivergent queer in their mid-30s. They are a white, AFAB non-parent, single person who has a value system rooted in understanding intersectionality and developing communities where equity precedes privilege. They worked in film and TV for 7 years, ran their own business between 2018 and 2021, and have worked in events, marketing, and social media for over a decade. Joey lives with Borderline Personality Disorder (also referred to as Emotional Dysregulation) in Toronto, Canada and is actively involved in justice for people who are insecurely housed, and their BPD diagnosis has completely shifted the way they care for themself, offering a North Star that's rooted in balance, comfort, and fun. Get in touch with them:Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @hi.itsjoey Website: www.joeydangelo.squarespace.com

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  1:03:01
• Self-Hatred and Parenting: Understanding Self-attack as a Control Strategy

  As non-coercive, collaborative parents, how do we move through self-blame and really trust our child’s process?In this episode, Cara supports Rythea to explore the trigger of being helpless over her daughter’s pain. Rythea unpacks, in real time, patterns of self-hatred and self-blame that are tied to underlying beliefs around parenting and self-worth. Rythea, with Cara’s facilitation, models a process of expressing the unbearable feelings around keeping her child safe, happy, and healthy. This episode takes you through the healing process of a parent taking responsibility for her own triggers, memories, and conditioning, in the face of things she cannot control as a parent.The friendship between Cara and Rythea, as well as their knowledge as therapists, guides this episode into places listeners rarely get to see and hear on a parenting podcast.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

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  46:47
• Amanda Diekman on Low-Demand Parenting & What Her PDA Kids Have Taught Her.

  In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Diekman, author of Low-Demand Parenting, to explore the intersection of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), neurodiversity, and low-demand parenting.What We Cover:What PDA is and is not – Understanding PDA as a profile rather than a diagnosis, and clearing up common misconceptions.Why PDA is widely discussed today – How awareness of PDA has grown and why so many neurodivergent families relate to this profile.The Low-Demand Parenting approach – What it means to shift from high expectations to a more supportive, flexible, and attuned style of parenting.How a low-demand lifestyle works in practice – Real-life applications and examples of reducing demands to create a more peaceful home.The importance of practicing low-demand living for yourself – Why parents must first extend grace and compassion to themselves in order to do the same for their kids.Parenting trauma and nervous system healing – How our past experiences shape the way we parent, and the ways we can regulate and heal our nervous systems to show up more fully for our children.If you’ve ever felt like traditional parenting advice doesn’t fit your neurodivergent family, or if you’re struggling to support a child who resists demands, this episode is for you. Amanda offers compassionate, insightful guidance on how to shift from a high-pressure, compliance-based dynamic to one that fosters connection, trust, and emotional safety.Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.Find Amanda Diekman’s work at:https://www.amandadiekman.com@lowdemandamanda--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionJoin Rythea's support group: https://buymeacoffee.com/rythealeeRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

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  1:03:09
• Collaboration, Not Chaos: Finding the Balance in Non-Coercive Parenting

  In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea and Cara dive into the practical side of non-coercive, collaborative parenting (NCC) - how to guide children without control, how our triggers shape our reactions, and why guiding our kids is an essential part of the philosophy (even though many NCC parents struggle with it).We start by checking in on how we’ve been doing lately and explore how our personal triggers challenge us to reframe our children's behaviors instead of reacting from old conditioning.We also read a listener’s question and discuss how to use play as a way to guide young children—shifting away from control while still offering structure and support. Many NCC parents worry about being too controlling, but collaboration doesn’t mean a lack of guidance. We talk about what true collaboration looks like and how it differs from permissiveness or coercion.This episode is full of real-life insights, practical examples, and compassionate reframing for parents trying to walk the fine line between honoring their child's autonomy and offering the guidance they need.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

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  47:56

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