Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

What happens when the boundary between you and the world around you dissolves? It’s something I experienced myself recently, and this week I sat down with Zen Master Henry Shukman to try and make sense of it. What results is a conversation that moves from the practicalities of a sitting practice, to the outer edges of what meditation can reveal about who we really are.

Henry has been meditating for almost 40 years and is the guide behind The Way, the meditation app I use myself and have long recommended to you. He’s Director of the Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico, an award-winning poet and the author of several books. This is his third appearance on the podcast, but our conversation this time goes somewhere we've never been before.

We begin by talking about how meaning, purpose and happiness are found within us, not externally. Our culture may measure worth through outward achievement, but meditation can show us a deeper reality beneath the striving – a natural, open heart that doesn't need to prove itself.

I share the deeply affecting experience I had at a retreat earlier this year –
one that changed how I understand connection, identity and what it means to feel truly at peace. Henry helps unpack it, drawing on Buddhist teaching, his own blissful awakening at 19, and decades of guiding others through similar moments. We talk honestly about what this means for people living ordinary, busy lives, and why none of it requires stepping away from our responsibilities.

Our conversation also touches on ageing and independence, prompted by reflections on my own parents and what they taught me about serenity in circumstances that looked far from peaceful. And in the second half, I invite Henry to answer some of your most-asked questions. Among many useful topics, we cover building a consistent meditation habit, fitting it into family life, coping with shame, cravings and addiction, and how to stay grounded in a difficult relationship.

This episode moves effortlessly between the practical and the profound, and I think it will mean something different depending on where you are in your own life right now. But whether you're new to meditation or have been practising for years, rest assured there's a powerful message here for you.

The Thrive Tour: Transform Your Health and Happiness, a live show: Book Your Tickets https://drchatterjee.com/live



Thanks to our sponsors:

https://drinkag1.com/livemore

https://thewayapp.com/livemore



Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/689



DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest brings warmth and wisdom to every conversation we have.

Today’s Bitesize is from episode 440 of the podcast with fellow physician, author, speaker and friend, the incredible Dr Gabor Maté.

Gabor is respected the world over as an expert on trauma, stress, addiction and childhood development. He has worked as a family doctor as well as in palliative (end of life) care.

In a previous episode, I had a wonderful conversation with Bronnie Ware, author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

And, in this clip, I explore some of those life regrets with Gabor, and he offers some thought-provoking insights into what they can teach us about the way we live our lives.

We also talk about regret. Gabor says that living life with ‘no regrets’ is about learning and understanding from your perceived mistakes, but not being unkind to who you were then. Instead we should recognise that we did the best we could do at the time.

Like all of my previous episodes with Gabor, this is a conversation full of compassion, knowledge and wisdom. I hope you enjoy listening.

Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠https://drinkag1.com/livemore

Show notes and the full podcast are available at ⁠drchatterjee.com/440⁠

Feel Better, Live More Bitesize is your weekly dose of inspiration, insights and practical ideas to help you live well and thrive. Each episode brings you some of my favourite moments, useful tools and inspiring ideas from the many incredible conversations I’ve had on my podcast.

Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts ⁠⁠https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore⁠⁠

For other podcast platforms go to ⁠⁠https://fblm.supercast.com.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Twenty years ago, leading psychotherapist Esther Perel asked whether desire could survive marriage and children. Today, she highlights a new relationship threat: our frictionless, convenient lives – and offers a wealth of wisdom to keep love alive.

This conversation was recorded live on stage at SXSW London, where Esther was speaking to mark the 20th anniversary of her groundbreaking bestseller, Mating in Captivity. It’s her third time on the podcast and I was honoured that she asked me to interview her for this wide-ranging episode – to which the audience reactions add a real energy.

Esther is one of the world’s most insightful and original voices on modern love. And it’s her parents, Holocaust survivors who rebuilt their lives through relationships, whom she credits for the idea that underpins her work: that our relationship quality ultimately determines our life quality.

We begin with something simple: the habit of appreciation, and why we tend to be better at criticising the people we live with than thanking them. Esther reminds us that a romantic partner is simply ‘on loan, with an option to renew’, so we need to make each other feel valued. She makes the case for ditching relationship checklists, explains why perfectionism and a lack of obstacles are starving modern intimacy, and defines the ‘digital lag’ that’s destroying our ability to be physically present with others.

We also talk about eroticism as a form of vitality and curiosity, while loneliness is more about societal failings than individual malaise. And Esther makes a key point that wanting our partners to be ‘our village’, instead of looking to a wider community, is a modern pressure that’s too much for any relationship to bear. To illustrate this, she reveals what happened during her therapy session between a human and their ‘perfect’ AI companion. It was a threshold moment for her industry – and it’s a lesson for us all.

This warm and witty episode is packed with quick-fire Q and As as well as deeper observations and meaningful advice. Esther offers a way of thinking about desire, connection and expectations that carries well beyond romantic relationships, touching on friendships, family and the way we show up for everyone around us.

The Thrive Tour: Transform Your Health and Happiness, a live show: Book Your Tickets https://drchatterjee.com/live



Thanks to our sponsors:

https://heights.com/livemore

https://hellolingo.com/livemore



Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/687



DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most of us walk every day without really thinking about it – but this episode is guaranteed to change that. Because this simple, free, radical act is one of the most powerful things you can do for your body, your brain and your longevity.

Today’s Bitesize is from episode 660 of the podcast with movement specialist and co-author of the brilliant book ‘Walk: Your Life Depends On It’, Dr Courtney Conley.

We unpack how many steps a day the research shows we really need to make a difference to our mood and our health. Courtney shares simple ways to get more from every walk, and reveals how something as simple as walking together could strengthen our relationships as well as our health.

All of us, whatever our age or starting point, can benefit from walking more or better – and this episode will help you do that, one step at a time.

Thanks to our sponsor ⁠⁠⁠https://thewayapp.com/livemore

Show notes and the full podcast are available at drchatterjee.com/660

Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts ⁠⁠https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore⁠⁠

For other podcast platforms go to ⁠⁠https://fblm.supercast.com.

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do we grab our phones the moment we feel bored, lonely or overwhelmed, even when we know it’s unlikely to help? Returning guest, Nir Eyal, breaks down the psychology behind distraction and reveals a surprisingly simple truth: the pull isn't coming from your phone. It's coming from inside you.

Nir is a behavioural design expert who writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and human potential. He’s a former Stanford lecturer and is the author of the international bestsellers Hooked and Indistractable, alongside his latest book, Beyond Belief. This is his third appearance on Feel Better, Live More.

In this conversation, Nir explains the remarkable truth that only around 10 per cent of phone checks are triggered by an external notification. The other 90 per cent come from within, from stress, fatigue or discomfort we're trying to escape. We discuss why treating technology as inherently addictive lets us off the hook, and what to do instead: his easy, repeatable four-step framework for noticing your internal triggers before they take hold.

Nir believes that the real opposite of distraction isn’t focus, it’s traction – a
sense of being pulled towards the life you actually want, rather than away from it. And crucially, the same activity, whether reading a book, gaming or
checking email, can be traction or distraction depending on whether it was planned. The answer to our scattered attention isn't to eliminate leisure and rest, he says, but to plan each day in advance around our values.

We talk about children and screentime. Nir introduces the idea of psychological nutrients, the basic needs for competency, autonomy and connection that every child requires to thrive. When these needs aren't met in daily life, children look for them elsewhere, often in the digital world. Understanding this changes the conversation around kids and technology, moving it away from blame and towards something far more useful: giving children what they truly need.

We also explore why to-do lists can make us feel like failures – and why scheduling your time (including your rest and leisure) is the antidote to distraction. Plus, Nir reveals why a small, low-effort commitment made in advance can be more powerful than willpower alone, when it comes to living intentionally.

This is a powerful and reassuring conversation for anyone who’s ever questioned their ability to focus, worried about phone addiction, or who simply wants a more meaningful, values-led life.



The Thrive Tour: Transform Your Health and Happiness, a live show: Book Your Tickets https://drchatterjee.com/live



Thanks to our sponsors:

https://boncharge.com/livemore

https://drinkag1.com/livemore



Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/685



DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices