Navigating Baby Loss

Send Jen a Text Message
The diagnosis. The quiet in the room. And then all the questions that came after. What if he was wrong? What if I chose differently? What if it was something I did?
If you’ve ever replayed the decisions around your baby’s death over and over, this conversation is for you.
My guest today is Sabrina Fletcher, a TFMR bereavement doula. In 2018, at her 11-to-14-week scan, Sabrina learned that her very wanted second baby was very sick. Living outside Mexico City, she faced strict legal timelines, a second opinion that didn’t even look at her scans, and a bus ride across the state line where she wondered, “Am I a criminal?”
Her loss looks different from stillbirth. But the guilt, the “what ifs,” the people who tried to tell her what her loss meant, and the fear of forgetting her baby? You’ll recognize all of it. Sabrina now supports families through TFMR with small groups, one-on-one sessions, her podcast Our TFMR Stories, and her membership, The TFMR Support Sanctuary.
A note before you listen: this episode talks about termination for medical reasons, prenatal diagnosis, and the decisions around it.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
 Why the moment of diagnosis can feel just like hearing “there’s no heartbeat”
The “what if” questions that haunt so many loss moms, and why they don’t mean you did something wrong.
How false urgency rushes families through decisions about their baby, and what Sabrina wishes she’d been given time for
What happens when a baby suddenly becomes “products of conception,” and why your words matter more than theirs
Why other people’s explanations (“God needed another angel,” “at least you have one already”) can hurt so much
Postpartum with no baby in your arms, and the basic needs that still deserve to be met
The dream Sabrina had about her daughter, and the message she still holds onto
Why you never forget your baby, even years later
Connect with Sabrina Fletcher
•Website: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ (group dates, one-on-one sessions, her blog, free downloads)
 Free self-care guide and Facebook group: available through www.thetfmrdoula.com
Podcast: Our TFMR Stories [LINK]
Membership: The TFMR Support Sanctuary at https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/
Instagram: @thetfmrdoula
Resources mentioned
Return to Zero: HOPE, founded by Kiley Hanish https://rtzhope.org/
Where to start with me
If this episode brought up guilt you’ve been holding by yourself, the 3-Day Experience is a safe place to start. It’s three live sessions with me, one each day, plus a workbook for whatever comes up. We name what you’re feeling, look at the toll it’s been taking, and on Day 3 I teach you the three-step tool I use myself when the guilt spiral starts. You keep all three recordings.
Learn more: https://navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop
More ways to stay connected
Always Loved Club, my monthly membership for loss moms: https://navigatingbabyloss.com/club
Instagram: @navigatingbabyloss
The 3-Day Experience for Moms After Baby Loss is a live workshop for moms who are grieving their baby. Over three days together, we look at how you're really doing, what this loss has touched in your life, and what to actually do when the guilt spiral starts. You'll get the live sessions, the recordings to keep, and a workbook to go with it. $27. Find it at navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop.
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
Website-  https://www.navigatingbabyloss.com
Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA

Send Jen a Text Message
October is here. Your phone is full of candles, footprints, and pink and blue ribbons before you're even out of bed. Part of you is so grateful the world is finally saying our babies out loud. And part of you wants to throw that phone across the room.
If that's you, you're not ungrateful. You're a mom whose body remembers the hardest day of her life.
In this episode, I talk about getting through Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in a way that works for you, not for your feed. I share what my first October after my loss was like, why this month can quietly turn into a guilt month, and a simple way to decide ahead of time what you want October to look like. We also look past October to Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, so you don't have to brace for impact from now until January.
In this episode:
 Why a month meant for moms like you can still make you feel worse, and why both things can be true at once
How comparison sneaks in when everyone is posting, and the voice that says "if I really loved my baby, I'd be doing more"
The three lanes for October: all in, on the sidelines, or sitting it out (and why none of them is better)
The one question that helps you pick your lane
Four easy ways to protect your heart on social media, without cutting anyone off
Why the all-in mom should bring someone with her, and what that does for the people who love you
Thought switching for the guilt that shows up at 6:58 PM on October 15th
How to look ahead at the holiday season so it doesn't catch you off guard
Mentioned in this episode:
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October)
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and the Wave of Light: October 15th, 7:00 PM in your own time zone
A loving invitation:
If you'd like some company through October and the months that follow, I'd love for you to come into the Always Loved Club. It's our monthly membership, a place where you can talk about your baby as much as you want and nobody flinches. Inside, there's a mini training on this exact topic, getting through October and the holiday season after loss, and you'll get access to it right away. No pressure at all. The door is open when you're ready.
Join here: https://navigatingbabyloss.com/club
Stay connected:
Website: https://navigatingbabyloss.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
Listen to this episode: https://navigatingbabyloss.com/post/october-after-stillbirth-144
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
Website-  https://www.navigatingbabyloss.com
Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA

Send Jen a Text Message
She did everything right. Her body still couldn't keep her baby inside. Sound familiar?
In this episode I'm sitting down with Jodi Klaristenfeld, founder of Flourish and a preemie and NICU parent coach. Jodi's daughter Jenna was born at 28 weeks after preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome nearly took both of their lives. Jodi met her daughter three days after the birth, and Jenna spent 77 days in the NICU before coming home.
Jodi's baby lived. And she still grieves the birth she dreamed of, the first days she didn't get, the moment she was too scared to hold her own daughter. If you've ever thought "but at least she got to bring her baby home," this conversation might surprise you. The guilt, the self-blame, the way we rationalize our own symptoms, the birthday that is also an anniversary of trauma... so much of it is the same road.
In this conversation, you'll hear:
Why Jodi kept telling herself the bloody nose, the swelling, the orange urine were "just pregnancy," and what that has to do with how we're raised not to bother anyone
The moment her OB told her mom, "If I don't take the baby now, I'm going to lose them both"
What it was like to not want to walk through the NICU doors, and why there was nothing wrong with her for feeling that way
The guilt she still feels, seven years later, about being too scared to hold her daughter that first day
How her husband pushed her to see her baby and to pump when she wasn't ready, and why she's grateful now (I had the same experience with mine)
Why "your body is rejecting the pregnancy" is such a heavy thing to be told, and the truth about what did and didn't cause it
What people don't understand about a baby's birthday after a traumatic birth
How to answer "but look at her, she's fine now" when you are not fine inside
Why you can be grateful and sad at the same time, and why one never cancels out the other
The choice Jodi eventually made, and why it took months to make it
Find Jodi here- https://www.FLRRiSH.com, https://www.instagram.com/flrrish
Read the full blog post here: 
The 3-Day Experience for Moms After Baby Loss is a live workshop for moms who are grieving their baby. Over three days together, we look at how you're really doing, what this loss has touched in your life, and what to actually do when the guilt spiral starts. You'll get the live sessions, the recordings to keep, and a workbook to go with it. $27. Find it at navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop.
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
Website-  https://www.navigatingbabyloss.com
Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA

Send Jen a Text Message
What happens to the grief you never let yourself feel? What does it cost you, years down the road, to just "keep going" like everyone told you to?
I'm back after a little break I didn't really plan on. My dad passed away a few weeks ago, and in cleaning out his house with my sister, I've been uncovering something I never fully understood as a kid. My parents lost their first baby during birth, decades before I lost my twins. And the life they built afterward, the fear, the resentment, the debt, the silence, all of it traces back to a grief they were never allowed to put down.
This episode is my dad's story. But if you've ever been told to move on, to be strong, to put this behind you, it's your story too. Because I've now lived this from both sides. As the child of parents who never healed, and as a grieving mom who made a different choice. I want you to hear what I saw, and why it matters so much for where you are right now.
What you'll learn:
Why grief doesn't go away when you ignore it — it just waits, and comes back through other losses
The quiet ways unhealed grief can shape an entire life: the debt, the strained marriage, the fear of the world
What my parents' silence around their lost baby taught me about what happens when you "just keep going"
Why my mom could never tell me it would be okay — and what that revealed
The secret my dad carried to his deathbed about the day they brought their baby home
What it actually means to choose differently: to let go of guilt and resentment without letting go of your baby
Why grief showing up again years later doesn't mean you're back at square one
How honoring your baby now can change the story your family lives for generations
[Read the full blog post here: LINK]
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
Website-  https://www.navigatingbabyloss.com
Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA

Send Jen a Text Message
You laughed for the first time in what feels like forever… and then the panic hit. Who am I to laugh when my baby died?
If that's you, you're not alone, and you're definitely not the first mom to feel it. In this episode, Jennifer gets honest about the guilt that floods in right after a laugh, a smile, a single good moment. She remembers it from her own life: laughing at something her husband said, and then freezing in shame, certain that joy somehow meant she was forgetting her twin daughters.
Here's what she wants you to know- the laugh was never the problem. It's the story your brain tells you afterward. This episode is about gently loosening the grip of that guilt, and learning that you can carry your baby with you into joy instead of leaving them behind in your pain.
What you'll learn:
Why that wave of panic shows up the second you catch yourself laughing, and why it isn't a sign that something's wrong with you
The quiet belief that grief is the proof of how much you loved your baby (and why it keeps you stuck)
How "guilt becomes your job" when there's no baby to care for, and what to do with that
Why being miserable forever was never actually honoring your babies' memory
The difference between leaving your baby behind and bringing your baby's love with you
A simple sentence you can say out loud the next time the guilt tries to flood in
How Jennifer uses neuro-linguistic programming to talk back to the cruel thoughts instead of just believing them
Why laughing at 7pm on a Wednesday is actually a really good sign
The permission you've probably been waiting for someone to give you
Read the full blog post here
Want to go deeper on releasing the guilt spiral? Jennifer walks you through her three steps inside my 3-Day Experience for Moms After Baby Loss: navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
Website-  https://www.navigatingbabyloss.com
Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA