Stillness in the Storms

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Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stay close without stepping in too quickly.
This week I want to talk about one of the hardest forms of love: giving someone space. Not walking away. Not going cold. Not pretending we do not care. But staying close without taking over.
It came up for me while talking with my daughter, noticing how quickly I wanted to jump in with answers, advice, solutions and opinions. And I could see the same thing in myself, in council meetings, in family conversations, and even in the way I meet my own thoughts and feelings. Something arises and I want to fix it before I have really heard it.
But space is not neglect. Real space says: I am here. I trust you. Take your time.
In this episode, I explore why the instinct to help is not wrong, but why fixing too quickly can sometimes be about easing our own discomfort. We look at the small pause after a feeling appears, the gap between notes in music, the three seconds before we answer, and the strange wisdom that often appears when we stop crowding the moment.
Key topics:
Why giving space is not the same as walking away
The urge to fix the people we love, especially our children
How a few seconds of pause can let wisdom appear
Thoughts, feelings and body sensations that do not need an instant story
The gap between the notes, and why space gives life meaning
Council meetings, family tables, and the need to prove we know something
Asking whether we are helping or reducing our own discomfort
The three second rule for conversations, emotions and difficult moments

Companion meditation: IPM 105, Giving Space. A gentle Zen influenced meditation using the image of a closed shed and an open field to feel the difference between being crowded by what arises and giving it room to be seen clearly.
If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk
With thanks this week to: Cheryl, Nitya, Yvonne, Eleanor and Ryan, Karen, Lani, Jess and Stuart.
And thank you to the kind anonymous souls and everyone who supports the work quietly in the background. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.
Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
Steven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk

The First 30 Seconds: Why Every Feeling Is a Gift
Your body's fear response is not a fault. It is thirty seconds of something brilliant.
You hear two cars crash outside your door, or a horn behind you, or the word "bear" round a campfire, and before you have thought a single thought your body has already moved. This week I walk through what actually happens in those first thirty seconds, a bit of it borrowed from David Ji's book Destressify. The adrenaline, the heart, the sugar your liver lets go, the hands that go cold so a cut would bleed less. None of it a malfunction. All of it the body doing the most competent, protective thing it knows.
Then I want to go further than the science. Fear is a gift. So is anxiety, alertness, even stress. We are taught to get rid of them, and I once sat on a show whose whole aim was to delete fear for good. I spent every break arguing the other way. The trouble is never the feeling. The trouble is when it takes over, when it runs eight hours a day, when it stops you doing the things you want to do. So we keep the whole stick, the joyful end and the hard end, instead of chopping the bad bits off and ending up with nothing. We hear the feeling, we understand it, we let it be there, and then we decide. Hear it, then decide. That is the whole thing.
Key topics:
What really happens in the body's first thirty seconds, step by step
Why none of it is a malfunction, and why the calm ones round the campfire did not survive
Fear, anxiety, stress and alertness as gifts, and the show that wanted to delete fear
The healthy and unhealthy version of every feeling, including the misread "everything is just thoughts" version of Zen
The stick you keep chopping, and why you end up unable to tell the joy from the pain
Only ever seeing three colours, and what we miss when we numb the spectrum
The five second gap, and hearing the feeling before you decide what to do

Companion meditation: IPM 104 on Inner Peace Meditations. [insert IPM 104 title]
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk
With thanks this week to:
A warm welcome to Susan, a brand new monthly supporter.
And a special word for Stuart, who reached two years as a monthly supporter this week. That is not a small thing.
To everyone who supported the show across these past two weeks: Addie, Amy, Barbara, Michael, Karen, Laura, David, Jenna and Mia, and Johnny.
And the kind anonymous souls and everyone on Insight Timer. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.
Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
Steven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk

Waking Up to Body Betrayal: How to Find Peace in the Pain
Your body isn't letting you down. It's been carrying you all along.
Do you ever wake up and just know it's going to hurt the second you move? I do. Most mornings. This week I want to talk about what to do with a body that feels like it's letting you down, betraying you, or just isn't what it used to be. About the soldiers inside you that have been quietly repairing you all night and why they get tired. About the difference between pain (the fact) and suffering (the story you add on top). And about an ancient violin, which turned out to be the image I needed for the body I've been carrying for thirty years.
We are in a partnership with this body. It is not the enemy. It is the only one we get.
Key topics:
The morning moment when the body hurts before you've even moved
The soldiers inside you who repair you every night, and why they get tired as we age
Why we treat the body as the enemy when really we are this body
The "where are you, really?" tennis-ball thought experiment
The difference between pain (the fact) and suffering (the story we add)
Treating your body like an ancient violin: more careful, more respectful, a different tune

Companion meditation: A Morning Meditation for the Body You Wake Into – a gentle, lying-down practice for that moment before the day begins. Find it on Inner Peace Meditations.
Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee: stevenwebb.uk
With thanks this week to (this is actually three weeks worth):
New monthly supporter: Sin.
Monthly supporters whose contributions came in this cycle: Ellen, Dominique, Adam, Annie, Joe, Sujata, Senga, Jack, Glenn, Denise, Laurie, Audra, Rosie, Laura, Kasia, Megan, Alison, Mallory, Elizabeth, Stefan, Barb, Cheryl, Katarzyna, Jill, Tracey, Hannah, Emmanuelle, Rita, Julie, Daniel, María.
And the kind anonymous souls and everyone on Insight Timer. You keep this podcast advert-free. Thank you.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.
Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
Steven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk

Two words I have said roughly 25,000 times. Most of them on autopilot.
Description
Two words. Probably the most common two words spoken in the English language. Two words I say almost every single morning, and you probably do too. I'm fine. In this episode I work out that I have said it about 25,000 times to my carers over the last 35 years, and almost none of those times did I actually stop and think about it. I want to look at why we say it, what it costs us, and what happens when we don't. There is a Brené Brown quote, an old Zen master story I have always loved, a Thursday afternoon last week where I cried for 20 minutes and then bought a book on Amazon, and a small image about letting go before your hand hurts. You don't have to stop saying I'm fine. You just have to notice when you do.
Key Topics
25,000 mornings, two carers, and the most automatic answer in my life
Why "I'm fine" is armour, and why armour is not always the wrong thing to wear
The three reasons we wear it (and why "just think positive" is the worst advice in self help)
The cost of saying it on autopilot, especially to the people who actually want to hear you
An old Zen story about a master on his deathbed who said the most enlightened thing he could have said
Brené Brown on numbing emotions, and why you cannot block only the bad weather
A real Thursday afternoon I sat here and cried for 20 minutes, then immediately bought a book
The hand metaphor: I let go a little earlier than I used to, before my hand hurts

Companion Meditation
When Anxiety Visits (IPM101). Five minutes. You sit down, you say hello to whatever is actually here, and you ask it why it came. It is the practical opposite of saying "I'm fine." Available on Insight Timer, Aura, and the Inner Peace Meditations podcast.
If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee at stevenwebb.uk.
Supporters
Alex, Nina, Zoe, A Ma, Kevin, Katarzyna, Deborah, Christopher, and Ariel for recent coffees and PayPal donations.
Special thanks: MumMik's Cleaning Services for buying a course this week.
You keep this podcast advert free.

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.
Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
Steven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk

There are eight billion minds in the world, and not one of them was made to fit the same cushion.
Description
This week I want to talk about why meditation works beautifully for some people and barely at all for others, and why no single teacher, book or technique was ever going to be the answer for everybody. I tell the story of my own rock bottom at forty, a Saturday afternoon in town with a broken wheelchair and a security guard who said nothing but meant everything. From there to the slow accidental discovery of meditation through As a Man Thinketh, and what it really means to live with an ADHD mind that refuses to sit still. We're all on our own road. The world wasn't designed for you, or me, or any of us. But you can widen your road, push your boundaries, and stop trying to fit into a shape that was never yours.
Key Topics
Why one meditation method will never work for eight billion different minds
The night I hit rock bottom, and the kindness that started everything
Reading As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, and why ten books saying the same thing is hard to ignore
Neuroplasticity, and how you can widen your road even if you can't change it
ADHD, dyslexia and finding ways to meditate when your mind refuses to be quiet
Why accepting yourself is so much easier than trying to change everyone else

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee at stevenwebb.uk.
Supporters Thanked in Episode
Suzanne, Maria, Michael, Tiffany, Ellen, Kathleen, Edyll, Nicola, Jess, Lynette, Linda, Laura, Yavuz, and a few kind anonymous souls.
Special thanks: Jane, marking one year as a monthly supporter on 15th April 2026.
You keep this podcast advert free.