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Great Parenting Advice From Lenore Skenazy ("America's Worst Mom") Or, "Why I Let My 9 Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone"
Ever wonder if we’re raising our kids with too much fear and not enough freedom? In this episode, I’m joined by Lenore Skenazy—founder of Let Grow, author, and self-described “America’s Worst Mom”—to dig into what’s really holding our kids back. We talk about the shift from play-based to phone-based childhoods, and how we, as parents and educators, can reverse course by letting kids take back some independence—without feeling like we’re putting them in danger.We explore how anxiety, both in kids and adults, is often fueled by overprotection, and how letting kids do more on their own actually builds emotional resilience, executive function, and confidence. Lenore shares powerful stories, smart strategies, and even a few laughs to help us rethink how we support our kids in becoming more capable and self-reliant. If you’ve ever worried about being too overprotective—or just want to help kids thrive—this conversation will inspire you to take that first step. Episode Highlights: [0:00] - Opening thoughts on parenting struggles and intro to my new workbook [1:35] - Welcoming Lenore Skenazy and how she became known as “America’s Worst Mom” [3:54] - The column that sparked a national conversation [5:17] - The disconnect between our childhoods and how we raise our kids now [7:53] - How school policies and culture reinforce parental anxiety [8:50] - The myth of stranger danger and why statistics don’t ease fears [11:52] - The Let Grow Experience and how it rewires parent and child behavior [15:06] - Why emotional courage is essential for both kids and parents [17:59] - The anxious generation of parents—and how overprotection feeds the cycle [19:43] - What free play really teaches and how it rewires the brain [24:11] - Why sandbags belong in play clubs and other fun discoveries [27:29] - Real-world problem solving in play: Franklin and the leaf pile [30:41] - Why squabbling is not a problem—it’s the learning process [31:07] - The hero’s journey and how hardship builds emotional resilience [33:34] - A flat tire becomes a triumph of independence [34:04] - Phones out, yes—but we must also restore play [35:15] - Let Grow’s mission to support independence and responsibility [38:59] - Helping parents take courageous actions, even if they’re still worried [41:36] - The goal isn’t to eliminate worry—it’s to act with courage anywayLinks & Resources: Lenore's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/lenore_skenazy_why_you_should_spend_less_time_with_your_kids?subtitle=en If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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46:49
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46:49
What Are They Thinking?: The Neuroscience of Nagging in Parents and Teens
If you've ever caught yourself reminding your kid—again and again—to get that homework done, check in with the coach, or finally read that book, this episode is for you. I dive deep into the psychology and brain science behind why we nag, how it impacts both our stress levels and our kids’ behavior, and what we can do instead to be more effective, compassionate, and calm.I share a personal story from my own household (yes, I'm guilty too!) and explore what’s really going on in the minds of both the "nagger" and the "nag-ee." You’ll also hear a powerful example of how one family made a simple shift in communication—and had their best night in years. If you want to support your child in a way that actually works—and feels better for everyone—don’t miss this one. Episode Highlights:[0:00] - Introducing the workbook: The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child [1:10] - My own struggle with nagging during my son’s senior year [3:00] - Why we nag: the emotional drive behind our reminders [4:35] - The illusion of control and the stress of unfinished tasks [6:25] - Brain science: what happens in the mind of the nagger [8:15] - What nagging does to kids’ brains—MRI findings from a key study [9:55] - A story of a family overwhelmed by homework stress [11:10] - A simple 3-step plan for changing the dynamic [12:55] - The power of phrasing: how supportive language changes everything [14:20] - Shifting from nagging to nurturing—and why it works [15:41] - About PrepMatters and how we support students without added pressure Links & Resources:If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference.If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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17:25
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17:25
Stress Relief vs. Stress Release: What We All Need In Anxious Times
Hey folks, Ned here. If you’ve ever felt like life’s got you underwater—like you’re just barely catching your breath before the next wave crashes in—this one’s for you. In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, partner, and co-author Dr. William Stixrud to talk about something that’s more relevant now than ever: how we actually relieve stress—not just dodge it.We unpack the critical difference between stress relief (those momentary escapes) and stress release (the tools that really let the pressure out), and why both are necessary. We also dive into practices that help us become non-anxious presences for our kids, and how that calm can be just as contagious as stress. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, social connection, or just laughing with friends, we explore the science-backed ways to bring your nervous system back online and show up for your family with clarity and calm. Episode Highlights:[0:00] - Introduction and announcement of the new workbook, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child[1:39] - That overwhelmed feeling—why so many of us are barely staying afloat[3:12] - Stress relief vs. stress release: what’s the difference and why it matters[5:39] - Coping methods kids use—and why many of them are just avoidance strategies[7:32] - The trouble with short-term fixes like weed and excessive screen time[8:31] - Real stress release through exercise, baking, and yes—carrot cake[10:15] - How parents’ stress regulation directly impacts their children[11:38] - Two paths to calm: cognitive reframing and physiological practices[14:42] - Radical acceptance—how shifting our mindset reduces suffering[16:31] - The vital role of calm people and community in weathering storms[20:08] - Emergency stress relief: laughter, singing, deep breathing, and movement[22:50] - The power of consistent practices like meditation and gratitude[25:57] - Final thoughts: combining cognitive, physiological, and social strategies for real resilience If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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29:50
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29:50
Wise Effort with Diana Hill
We all want our kids to thrive—not just survive the pressure of school, sports, and life. But let’s be honest, it’s not easy. Too often we fall back into the same old habits, even when we know better. That’s why I was so excited to sit down with two incredible people: my friend and co-author, Dr. Bill Stixrud, and psychologist Dr. Diana Hill. Diana’s new book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most shows us that our kids—and we parents too—don’t have to choose between doing well and being well.In this conversation, we dig into what it means to use our energy wisely, how to recognize and nurture “genius energy” in ourselves and our children, and why psychological flexibility might just be the most important skill we can teach and model. If you’ve ever felt like your family is running full speed but not sure you’re heading in the right direction, this episode will speak to you. Episode Highlights: [0:00] – Kicking things off: why Bill and I created The Self-Driven Child Workbook [1:08] – Diana’s story of strawberries, watercolor, and the uniqueness of every child [2:53] – Introducing my guests: Dr. Bill Stixrud and Dr. Diana Hill [4:23] – Diana explains ACT and Buddhist principles as foundations for Wise Effort [6:27] – What “genius energy” really means and why it matters for kids and parents [9:01] – Helping kids see their strengths beyond grades and sports [10:10] – Practicing “watering flowers”: appreciating kids for who they are [13:51] – Bill shares how affirming kids’ strengths changes lives [16:08] – The three-part framework of Wise Effort: curiosity, openness, and focus [19:21] – Why psychological flexibility is essential for kids and parents [22:22] – Pain and values: two sides of the same coin [24:51] – How values-driven goals outperform standard “SMART” goals [27:51] – Genius + values = the sweet spot of wise effort [30:17] – Family chores as a practice of genius and values in action [32:42] – Making the most of limited time with our kids—before the runway ends [33:21] – How meaningful activities actually expand our sense of time [35:11] – A moving story of Daniel, a father with cancer, learning to invest in presence [37:37] – Final reflections: helping parents and kids feel better and do better Links & Resources:https://drdianahill.com/ Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most by Dr. Diana HillIf this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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42:45
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42:45
Dream School: Finding the College That's Right for You
In this episode of The Self-Driven Child Podcast, I sit down once again with my good friend and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo. You probably know Jeff from his book Who Gets In and Why, which cracked open the mysterious college admissions process. But now, he’s back with a powerful new guide, Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You.We explore the realities behind the college admissions frenzy—the pressures, the myths, and the real indicators of student success. Jeff and I dive deep into why so many students and families narrow their college lists too soon, how prestige bias and community pressure shape decision-making, and what really matters when it comes to finding the best college fit. Whether you're a parent, student, educator, or just curious about higher education, this episode is a roadmap to cutting through the noise and focusing on what will actually help kids thrive. Episode Highlights:[1:55] - Welcoming back Jeff Selingo and his new book Dream School [3:41] - Unpacking the narrative arc from elite admissions to finding fit [5:27] - Why students and parents fixate on prestige and how that narrows options [7:40] - Grade inflation and the overconfidence trap [10:44] - Why balanced college lists matter more than ever [13:49] - Conformist bias and how schools like Archer are challenging the status quo [16:38] - Misconceptions around adding more "backup" schools [18:21] - Is college worth it? A nuanced look at ROI and student outcomes [23:06] - Why regional job markets matter more than college name [26:45] - The value of being a "big fish" at a smaller school [30:56] - Faculty incentives, mentorship, and why engagement matters [34:50] - Hands-on learning and mentors as keys to student success [37:09] - How to spot signs of strong faculty engagement on campus visits [41:23] - Belonging uncertainty and how it affects student retention [45:47] - First-year programming that fosters connection and success [46:59] - Extracurriculars as a path to discovery, not just admissions [49:59] - Bringing joy back to the college search [51:55] - Finite vs. infinite games and redefining what college is really aboutLinks & Resources:· Jeff Selingo's new book: Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You· College Scorecard: https://collegescorecard.ed.gov · National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE): https://nsse.indiana.edu · The Craziest Year Ever in College Admission with Jeff Selingo: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-craziest-year-ever-in-college-admission-with/id1676859533?i=1000650463806 · Who Gets In and Why with Jeff Selingo: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/who-gets-in-and-why-with-jeff-selingo/id1676859533?i=1000613195766 If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com
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57:45
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57:45