Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine

SUMMARY - Why does your child seem unable to understand your perspective, even when it feels obvious? In this episode, Eileen explores the brain-based cognitive skill of perspective taking, why it can be especially challenging for children with neurobehavioral differences, and how understanding this lagging skill can shift parents from viewing their child as selfish or inconsiderate to recognizing a brain that is working differently. You'll also learn practical ways to support and strengthen perspective-taking skills while maintaining connection and compassion.

TAKEAWAYS:
Perspective taking is a cognitive skill, not a character trait.
Children with brain-based differences may have difficulty shifting from their own perspective to someone else's, especially when stressed or dysregulated.
Perspective taking relies on multiple brain systems, including those involved in Theory of Mind, executive functioning, and inhibitory control.
Struggling to understand another person's perspective does not mean a child simply doesn't care.
Stress and nervous system dysregulation make perspective taking even more difficult because the brain naturally narrows its focus to immediate needs.
There are steps parents can take to support the development of perspective taking.
Viewing perspective-taking through a Brain First lens helps replace judgment with understanding, creating opportunities to teach and build the skill over time.

RESOURCES:
Episode 3: Cognitive Flexibility
Episode 5: On and Off Days
Episode 32: Working Memory
Episode 40: Relational Cognitive Skills

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:
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SUMMARY - In today's episode, Eileen sits down with Mary McDirmid, a Special Needs Financial Planner and founding member of All Needs Planning, which specializes in simplifying the special needs planning process. Mary understands the emotional, financial, legal, and support aspects of caring for a loved one with disabilities, because she is the parent of a child with a rare disease. Her work is centered on bringing this understanding to other families who would benefit from this information as they plan for their child's future.

TAKEAWAYS:
Beginning the process of planning for your child's financial future as early as possible is ideal, but the key factor is having the capacity to take on some of the tasks and work it will require.
Aligning the financial plans with school and educational transition plans is also ideal.
Determining guardianship, supported decision making and power of attorney needs is an individual process, based on each family's situation and their child's needs.
Different states have different requirements regarding social security eligibility; knowing your state's requirements is essential.
It's important for parents to take inventory of all the support needs of their child before they apply for benefits so they can be clear about what level of support their child will need in adulthood.
ABLE Accounts allow you to keep funds that come to your child while also staying under the $2000 limit required to keep governmental benefits.
Supplemental Special Needs Trust is where a parent can save and invest additional funds for their child beyond the ABLE account.

RESOURCES:
Mary McDirmid and All Needs Planning
ABLE Account Information

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:
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SUMMARY - Many parents of neurodivergent tweens and teens describe a shift that feels difficult to explain: things were already challenging, but suddenly the stakes feel higher, the behaviors feel bigger, and the future feels much more uncertain. In this episode, I introduce what I call the Tween/Teen Expectation Gap—the widening gap between age-based expectations and a child's developmental trajectory—and explore why this period can feel so disorienting, grief-filled, and overwhelming for parents.

TAKEAWAYS:
The tween and teen years often bring a significant increase in societal, academic, social, and emotional expectations.
Neurodivergent children continue to develop and mature, but often on a different timeline and trajectory than their peers.
The Tween/Teen Expectation Gap emerges when age-based expectations begin to outpace a child's ability to consistently meet them.
Differences that may have been easier to accommodate in childhood often become more visible and consequential during adolescence.
Parents frequently experience increased fear, grief, dread, shame, and uncertainty during this stage.
Intensifying behaviors are often a reflection of increased stress, overwhelm, and nervous system dysregulation.
Viewing this period through a Brain First lens helps parents understand what is happening beneath the behavior and respond more effectively.

RESOURCES:
Brain First Parenting™ Framework
Parent Coaching with Eileen Devine

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
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SUMMARY - Why do the same power struggles keep happening over and over again between parents and children? In this episode, Eileen explores the “coercive cycle,” a pattern first identified by researcher Gerald Patterson and his colleagues after decades of observing parent-child interactions. Through a Brain First lens, she explains why these escalating moments are often rooted not in defiance, but in lagging skills, nervous system dysregulation, and patterns both parents and children can unintentionally get stuck inside.

TAKEAWAYS:
What the parent-child “coercive cycle” is and how it develops
Why escalation often reinforces the cycle for both parents and children
How traditional behavioral interpretations can keep families stuck
The role nervous system dysregulation and lagging skills play in conflict
Why “won’t” is often actually “can’t”
How parent triggers, beliefs, exhaustion, and burnout can intensify interactions
Questions to ask yourself before engaging with your child
Why using fewer words and disengaging early can help interrupt escalation
How a Brain First lens shifts the goal from control to regulation and connection

RESOURCES:
The Resilience Room Membership Community

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
Pinterest

SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen shares 8 essential mind shifts that help parents move from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens when parenting children with brain-based differences and challenging behaviors. These shifts can help you better understand your child’s nervous system, reduce conflict, strengthen connection, and parent with more clarity, flexibility, and confidence.

TAKEAWAYS:
Why “My child would do better if they could” is one of the most transformative parenting shifts
How challenging behaviors are often signs of distress, overwhelm, and lagging skills
Why behavior-focused parenting approaches often miss the root causes
How adjusting expectations around development can reduce frustration for both you and your child
The importance of meeting cognitive rigidity with flexibility and empathy
Why the goal of parenting is not compliance, but connection, regulation, and skill-building
How to trust your own understanding of your child, even when others don’t understand your approach
Why caring for yourself is an essential part of supporting your child’s well-being

RESOURCES:
Free downloadable infographic: 8 Essential Mind Shifts for More Connected Parenting
Episode 19: Rethinking What It Means to Be Resilient

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
Pinterest