Parenting Without Power Struggles

Resilience isn't a trait kids either have or don't — it's something they build through repeated experiences of feeling hard emotions and getting through them, with a present and steady parent by their side. In this episode, Susan Stiffelman, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, and Dr. Laura Markham explore why our instinct to fix our children's disappointment can actually work against us — and what to do instead.
What "brain reps" are and why your child's meltdowns are actually opportunities in disguise
Why the urge to fix your child's distress can communicate the opposite of what you intend
Why emotion coaching — not problem solving — is the essential first step toward resilience
Show notes and transcript available here

Susan and Martha reflect on the sometimes daunting—but deeply worthwhile—steps involved in living in alignment with our true nature, including in our parenting. It's a thoughtful and inspiring discussion about the small, meaningful shifts that can help us experience more peace, clarity, and joy in everyday life.
How tuning in to your inner wisdom can reduce resentment and bring more ease to parenting

Why trying to live up to others' expectations often pulls us away from our authentic selves

Practical ways to steady yourself when life feels overwhelming or impossible to manage

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:6fa87474-d341-4003-a0fb-1650b17d4c75-2" data-testid= "conversation-turn-6" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> *]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:6fa87474-d341-4003-a0fb-1650b17d4c75-3" data-testid= "conversation-turn-8" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> In this episode, Susan explores why we sometimes react in ways that don't match our intentions. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems, she encourages parents to view those moments as protective parts taking over—and reminds us that our steady, wise Self is never far away.




How understanding your own parts helps you respond more calmly to your child's activated parts.
Why intellectual understanding (attachment, neuroscience, regulation) isn't always enough in charged moments.

A simple in-the-moment reframe that creates space for your steadier "captain" self to return.

Visit this page for transcript

In this episode, Susan is joined by Lisa Spiegel, author of Internal Family Systems Therapy with Children, for a conversation about how understanding our "parts" can transform our parenting life. They explore what it means to be Self-led, why you're not your anger (and your child isn't either), and how helping kids understand their parts builds confidence, compassion, and emotional resilience.

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:cac8a71c-422a-41be-b8ba-c4f290f0abe6-2" data-testid= "conversation-turn-6" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> In this episode, Susan explores how children are increasingly turning to AI chatbots not just for information, but for emotional reassurance — a shift that can quietly replace human connection. Drawing on insights from psychologist Dr. Zak Stein, she explains why real relationships, with their pauses, limits, and repair, are essential for healthy development, and how endlessly affirming bots can interfere with emotional growth. At its core, this conversation is about attachment — helping parents remain their child's safest place in a rapidly changing digital world.