Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different

Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

 

Samantha and Lauren interview Julianne Kohlbrand, an ADHD financial coach who became debt-free after $107,000 in consumer debt and a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis at 42, and now helps neurodivergent families simplify money management.

Julianne shares how motherhood intensified overwhelm and led to her diagnosis, and explains that neurodivergent people often need different, less perfection-driven approaches than strict dollar-by-dollar budgets.

Key strategies include giving yourself grace, automating bills, weekly calendar check-ins, reducing tempting triggers (like removing budget apps), using visuals and a “would you rather” gamified decision tool, and adding accountability partners while avoiding shame through agreed budgets and separate “fun money” line items for each spouse.

They discuss impulse spending, the 24-hour cart rule, a separate email for bills, and ways to teach kids about money through open conversation, goal-setting, savings accounts, and age-based paid home tasks.

 

00:00 Meet Julianne Kohlbrand

01:04 Late ADHD Diagnosis Story

02:42 Money Shame and Coaching Fail

04:35 ADHD Friendly Money Systems

07:16 Gamify Spending Decisions

07:54 Accountability Without Shame

09:41 Fun Money and Boundaries

12:20 Impulse Control Tricks

15:28 Teaching Kids Money Habits

18:39 Allowance And Budgeting

19:42 Kids Savings Account Setup

20:18 Home Tasks For Pay

22:17 Earning Extra Money Struggles

23:56 Grace And Small Systems

25:16 Resources And Where To Find

27:14 Fun And Farewell

28:06 Post Show Highlights

29:44 Lego Dopamine Spending

31:13 Play Money Chore System

32:18 Final Wrap And Comments

 

Connect with Julian:
https://debtrebelpodcast.com/
https://www.instagram.com/jewlzthebudgetnerd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliankohlbrand/

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Join the Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss why many neurodivergent people may interpret language literally and communicate more directly, which neurotypical people can misread as rude.

They define literal thinking as interpreting exact words rather than implied meaning, sarcasm, or social context, and share examples such as misunderstandings around figurative phrases (“break a leg”), social pleasantries (“we should hang out sometime”), sarcasm (“nice job”), vague directions (“do the dishes” vs. “clean the kitchen”), and hidden social rules (“make yourself at home”).

They explain contributing factors, including a preference for clarity and precision, pragmatic language differences, cognitive load, and predictive processing theories, then outline the benefits of direct language (less confusion, faster problem-solving, clearer boundaries, less social exhaustion).

 

00:00 Why Literal Thinking

00:47 Rude or Direct

01:42 Defining Literal Thinking

03:30 Everyday Examples

05:08 Vague Directions

07:34 Hidden Social Rules

09:45 Why It Happens

12:53 Direct Communication Strength

17:04 Misread as Argumentative

19:36 Parenting Communication Tips

22:15 Wrap Up and Resources

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Join the Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

 

Episode 18 with Dr. Tosha Strickland: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/18-dr-tosha-strickland-and-central-auditory/id1697406719?i=1000636604839

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss how ADHD and Central Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) can look similar, distractibility, not following directions, zoning out, school struggles, but involve different underlying challenges: ADHD affects attention regulation and executive functioning, while APD involves difficulty processing spoken information despite normal hearing.

They share examples and comparisons (e.g., difficulty in noisy classrooms, frequently saying “what,” slow verbal response time, mishearing similar words, and doing better with written/visual instructions), note that ineffective ADHD medication may indicate APD, and describe how APD can be supported with classroom microphones, hearing aids that modulate timing rather than amplify sound, reduced background noise, extra processing time, and checking understanding.

They encourage parents to advocate for evaluations through pediatricians and appropriate specialists, use practical supports like one-step directions and routines, and provide positive feedback since neurodivergent kids receive disproportionate negative feedback.

 

00:00 Welcome and Topic

00:23 Why They Get Confused

01:14 Medication Clue and CAPD

04:04 What ADHD Really Is

06:45 What Auditory Processing Is

08:29 Misdiagnosis and Mindset

10:46 Side by Side Examples

13:18 Conversation and Response Time

16:48 Getting Evaluated and Advocating

21:17 Practical Supports at Home

23:22 Grace and Positive Feedback

25:21 Wrap Up and Resources

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss sensory processing disorder (SPD) versus autism spectrum disorder, explaining what SPD is, where it overlaps with autism, and why sensory challenges alone do not mean autism; they note ADHD can also include sensory differences.

They define SPD as difficulty detecting, modulating, or interpreting sensory input and emphasize it is used clinically but is not in the DSM-5, which can limit insurance resources, comparing this to PDA and sharing an example of a bipolar misdiagnosis used to access care.

They define autism by social communication differences and restrictive/repetitive behaviors, with sensory reactivity included in criteria, and describe sensory patterns (hyperreactivity, hyporeactivity, and sensory seeking) with everyday examples.

They recommend supports such as reducing sensory load, previewing transitions, offering choices (clothing, ear protection, movement breaks), tracking triggers, pursuing occupational therapy evaluations, and prioritizing function over label.

 

00:00 Introduction

01:37 What SPD Means

01:49 Diagnosis Codes and Resources

03:55 SPD vs Autism Criteria

06:29 Sensory Patterns Explained

09:13 Mixed Sensory Profiles

10:48 Smell and Food Sensitivities

13:34 Overlap and Why It Matters

16:01 Practical Supports at Home

19:40 Function Over Label

21:23 Wrap Up and Resources

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Get the Book: https://a.co/d/0fOrLF7d

Connect with Dr. Gilly Kahn: https://www.drgillykahn.com/

 

Samantha welcomes back psychologist, mom, and writer Dr. Gilly Khan to discuss her book Allow Me to Interrupt, which focuses on emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in females with ADHD.

Dr. Kahn explains how she approaches families seeking or newly receiving an ADHD diagnosis, including considering psychological testing, consulting a psychiatrist, and discussing family preferences around medication and stigma. She describes how emotional dysregulation is strongly tied to ADHD but not included in DSM-5-TR criteria, cites Russell Barkley’s advocacy, and outlines what is known and less researched about RSD as popularized by William Dodson.

Dr. Khan also discusses balancing ADHD strengths and challenges through accommodations, highlights the role of estrogen and dopamine across the female lifespan, and notes comorbidities such as migraines and their links to hormones and dopamine.

 

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

00:40 About Dr Gilly Khan and Her Book

02:18 Next Steps After Diagnosis

05:33 On the Fence About Labels

09:25 ADHD in Girls Emotional Clues

14:17 Too Much Masking and Strengths

15:24 Creativity and Accommodations

19:44 Comorbidities Hormones and Migraine

27:08 Where to Find the Book

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent