Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different

Connect with Samantha:
https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

 

Connect with Katey:

Website: https://yourdifferentability.com/

Book: https://yourdifferentability.com/book

Book Preview (Katey made this free for this podcast's listeners!): https://yourdifferentability.com/welcome

Instagram: https://instagram.com/kateyfortun

Personal Website: https://kateyfortun.com/

 

Samantha and Lauren welcome back disability advocate and dyslexic speaker Katey Fortun to discuss her newly published book, "Embracing Your Different Ability," available in standard print, dyslexic-friendly print, and audiobook, along with her "Different Ability Podcast."

Katey shares that she was inspired to write the book after feeling prompted on a walk in late 2023, committed in early 2024 to doing “one new thing,” and self-published through Amazon with support from a book-coaching team, ultimately releasing it on March 26, 2024—the same date she signed up to begin the process.

Written initially for her eight-year-old self, the book aims to help kids feel seen and understood while also supporting parents, guardians, and teachers, including chapters from Katie’s mother to show both child and parent perspectives.

They discuss distinguishing “won’t” vs. “can’t” by defaulting to “can’t” and investigating, the hidden struggles of kids who appear “fine” at school, the trauma of forced reading aloud, and how diagnosis can be validating and unlock resources; Katey also shares a free “welcome package” with sample chapters and resources at her website.

 

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

01:33 Why She Wrote It

04:45 Who the Book Is For

09:21 Won Versus Cant

16:25 School Trauma and Diagnosis

21:43 Dyslexia Strengths and Success

25:24 Closing Questions and Hope

27:16 Where to Find the Book

29:34 Final Advice and Wrap Up

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss the third step after a child is diagnosed with autism: building a support system. They recap the first two steps—learning about autism by getting curious about your own child and connecting with autistic adults and other parents, and applying early for resources like Medicaid and therapy waitlists.

They validate how overwhelming ongoing therapies and frequent specialist appointments can be, emphasizing that parenting isn’t meant to be done alone and that some family or friends may not provide the support you expect, making it okay to set boundaries or create distance.

They outline professional supports (pediatricians, therapists, mental health providers) and personal supports (spouses, friends, online communities), encourage learning from parents further along while avoiding comparison, and note research linking parental support to lower stress and improved outcomes.

 

00:00 Welcome and Recap

00:57 Why Support Matters

01:43 Overwhelm and Appointments

04:08 Finding Your Village

04:56 When Family Isn’t Supportive

07:49 Professional Support Team

10:01 Emotional Support and Community

11:29 Learn From Others Avoid Comparison

14:50 Support Groups and Action Step

16:18 Three Takeaways and Closing

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Connect with Samantha: www.everybrainisdifferent.com

Download the Guide to Raising Your Neurodivergent Child: www.everybrainisdifferent.com

 

Samantha and Lauren continue their discussion on what to do when you suspect or receive an autism diagnosis, revisiting the idea of “being a detective” to learn what makes your child tick while also debating the line between respecting boundaries and pushing kids to get out into the world for social learning and health.

They emphasize acting early to access supports, highlighting Medicaid options like the disability-based Katie Beckett Waiver (which can cover broad healthcare and therapies) and other state-specific waivers for non-traditional therapies, plus early intervention (Zero to Three), developmental preschool requirements, IEPs/504s, respite care, parent training, adaptive equipment, grants, and case management.

They stress that professionals often won’t volunteer these resources, approvals can take months to years, denials are common, and parents should reapply, follow up persistently, join local Facebook groups for area-specific guidance, get on multiple therapy waitlists, keep organized records, and request school assessments in writing.

 

00:00 Welcome Back Recap

00:40 Boundaries Versus Pushing Growth

03:01 Why Social Practice Matters

05:09 Finding Help After Diagnosis

05:24 Medicaid Katie Beckett Waiver

08:11 Early Intervention and School Supports

09:45 Local Groups and Activity Options

11:52 Waitlists and Getting On Them

13:37 Be the Squeaky Wheel

15:20 Organize Paperwork and Ask Providers

19:53 Action Steps and Next Episode

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

Suzanne Jabour Episode About Grief: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-it-normal-to-grieve-after-your-childs-autism-or/id1697406719?i=1000750957793

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss the number one thing they would do after getting an autism diagnosis for your child: learn about your child, not just autism. Samantha emphasizes that a diagnosis is a tool for understanding, not fixing, and that parents may feel relief and grief, all of which are valid.

They stress that autism presents differently in each person, caution against overreliance on online checklists, and encourage neurodiversity-affirming thinking over deficit-based views by asking what behaviors communicate and what needs they meet. Examples include sensory accommodations for loud toilets, avoiding uncomfortable clothing, and allowing harmless stimming, while still intervening for safety concerns like self-injury or eloping.

They suggest tracking strengths, triggers, and ABC patterns, seeking professional or community support, and preview next week’s focus on applying for resources early due to long waitlists.

 

00:00 Welcome and Summer Catchup

00:11 Autism Moments and Themed Weddings

02:29 Why This Episode Matters

03:34 Processing the Diagnosis

05:50 Learn Your Child First

07:19 Observe Not Checklists

09:01 Neurodiversity Affirming Shift

10:26 Assessments and Getting Resources

14:08 Deficit vs Affirming Examples

24:04 Behavior as Communication

26:33 Action Steps and ABC Notes

30:12 Wrap Up and Next Week Preview

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent

Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership

Get the Guide to Parenting Your Neurodivergent Child: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/

 

Samantha and Lauren discuss why building a supportive network matters for mental health and how to do it, drawing from Samantha’s postpartum psychosis and breakdown in 2016 and the challenges of parenting children with medical needs.

They outline key benefits of support, which include emotional encouragement, practical help, accountability, perspective when “your brain is lying to you,” and connection.

They describe four types of support: personal (friends, family, faith/community), professional (primary care, therapists, psychiatrists, coaches, support groups), peer (special-interest and parenting/disability communities), and practical (cleaning, childcare, meal services, assistants).

They offer steps to build support without shame: start small, be specific about needs, allow imperfect help while avoiding toxic relationships, and find aligned communities, ending with a one-step takeaway and available resources.

 

00:00 Why Support Matters

01:39 When Your Brain Lies

03:52 Personal Support Plan

08:51 Professional Help Options

12:33 Peer Support Communities

13:44 Practical Help That Works

17:07 Build It Without Awkward

18:20 Ask Clearly and Specifically

19:33 Boundaries and Finding People

23:54 Weekly Takeaway and Resources

 

Connect with Samantha Foote!
Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferent
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent